View Full Version : Kids and the F*** word.....
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
Na'eemah
17-05-07, 12:36 PM
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
I don't think making him write lines will help IMO.
Tell him the Prophet :saw: was best in speech and never swore....and how swearing isn't cool or clever and gets you nowhere.
I don't think making him write lines will help IMO.
Tell him the Prophet :saw: was best in speech and never swore....and how swearing isn't cool or clever and gets you nowhere.
he dreads lines, cos i made him write so many, now when i mention it he starts squirming at the thought of doing them again but i just dont like the reoccurance.
I do keep telling him the islamic side of things.
.: Anna :.
17-05-07, 12:40 PM
Hmm how about if you hear him saying these words, every time he does u have 2 take one of his stuff away like one playstation game or whatever u think is best.. and he can get them back after a couple of days go if you dnt hear him say it? :S I dont know...
he must be picking it from school.. insha allah it will be better when he gets in the islamic school
Hmm how about if you hear him saying these words, every time he does u have 2 take one of his stuff away like one playstation game or whatever u think is best.. and he can get them back after a couple of days go if you dnt hear him say it? :S I dont know...
he must be picking it from school.. insha allah it will be better when he gets in the islamic school
inshallah i hope so, i cringe everytime i hear kids swear :rubeyes:
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
my sons first day at school consisted of him showing me two new things he had learnt from his teacher was how to sing and do the dance actions to "mc donalds, mc donalds, kuntuckey fried chicken and a pizza hut" and how to say the f* word.. welcome to the world of the school, nothing u can do to stop him except keep him away from children who grow up with this as part of their normal speech. problem is with any schooling is that u dont know what is going on in the homes the other kids come from, and esentially u end up letting other people infulence your childs upbringing. personally i wouldnt have sent my children to school at all if i had any choice in the matter.
or u could just do as my parents did to me and tell him that God will destroy him and send him to hell if he ever swears i didnt use a swear word till i was past 12 i was just too terrified of God, i used to say sugar instead and even then i would try to hide in case God knew.. then i realised there is nowhere to hide..
ibn suleman
17-05-07, 01:25 PM
the other day a child maybe 3 or 4 came in the shop and told his mum to f*** off u b****
and i was like :shock: :eek: and the mother just laughed at the boy
rather than punishing him..how abt trying to withold a reward or sumthing?
.: Anna :.
17-05-07, 01:26 PM
we did that song in my school aswell (mcdonalds, mcdonalds etc) lol
.: Anna :.
17-05-07, 01:28 PM
the other day a child maybe 3 or 4 came in the shop and told his mum to f*** off u b****
and i was like :shock: :eek: and the mother just laughed at the boy
rather than punishing him..how abt trying to withold a reward or sumthing?
u know what this is probably because that is the language the mother uses herself towards the child or infront of the child.
ive heard parents swearing at their babies, not even kids but a lil baby and they are like "shut up u f... brat" n this kind of stuff... like rough and horrible type people, they dont bring the kids up properly at all they jst treat them like that and smoke all the time infront of them and giv them junk to eat and no disapline and guidlines, so its not a suprise they are picking it up before they even get to school..
Honey87
17-05-07, 01:29 PM
I think you should take away one of his 'pleasures' when he does. like, no chocolate or no crisps. or no computer. Also, you could discuss with him why he said it?
My sister, when she first started secondary school kinda did the same. She'd be on the fone to her friends, and i'd hear her say it. I didn't let her speak to her friends for a week on the phone. I asked her why and she said because her friends did and it was cool. I just explained to her that she knows its a bad word, why the hell say it! and i also had to add it wasn't a thing that good people say. i just reminded her of how trashy it was and how me and all my friends look down on "compulsive swearers" (makes no sense but i always say it hehe). It's unecessary. She said she tried to stop, so like sis Asiya and the saying 'sugar' example, i told her to say fudge instead. eventually she stopped alhamdulilah.
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
If the child is around 4-6 u can tell them to put their head on the wall n raise their hans up touchin the wall for certain amount of time....I have 5yrs twins sisters n this is the like the third time I heard dem swear...I noe it from skool cuz they only started this yr...but i alwayz make them put their head up on the wall n everytime I hear it again i add extra 5 mins....
ibn suleman
17-05-07, 01:33 PM
u know what this is probably because that is the language the mother uses herself towards the child or infront of the child.
ive heard parents swearing at their babies, not even kids but a lil baby and they are like "shut up u f... brat" n this kind of stuff... like rough and horrible type people, they dont bring the kids up properly at all they jst treat them like that and smoke all the time infront of them and giv them junk to eat and no disapline and guidlines, so its not a suprise they are picking it up before they even get to school..
yeh thats true
its only a little baby and they swear at it :(
but if thats how its brought up, thast how its gonna act
my sons first day at school consisted of him showing me two new things he had learnt from his teacher was how to sing and do the dance actions to "mc donalds, mc donalds, kuntuckey fried chicken and a pizza hut" and how to say the f* word.. welcome to the world of the school, nothing u can do to stop him except keep him away from children who grow up with this as part of their normal speech. problem is with any schooling is that u dont know what is going on in the homes the other kids come from, and esentially u end up letting other people infulence your childs upbringing. personally i wouldnt have sent my children to school at all if i had any choice in the matter.
or u could just do as my parents did to me and tell him that God will destroy him and send him to hell if he ever swears i didnt use a swear word till i was past 12 i was just too terrified of God, i used to say sugar instead and even then i would try to hide in case God knew.. then i realised there is nowhere to hide..
my son did the above for a whole year running too!!, schools have a lot of explaining to do.... i think the harsh step will be next, as u stated- allah swt will destroy u....
ibn suleman, thats awful, i seen kids talk to their parents like they are a piece of doodle on the floor, alhumdulillah my one doesnt do that, he is really respectful in that manner, but thats probably cos i put extra energy in educting him abuot how important paretns are in islam and teh punishment for that,since he was about 3yrs, now the swearing has startd :smack:
give him an alternative word to say...
Ibn Khattab
17-05-07, 01:54 PM
hmmmm
Sis MG try and give him an alternative word or phrase. in fact you could kill 2 birds with one stone.
how about teaching him that whenever hes about to say F***,
tell him to say
"Fabi Ayi Aaalaa Irabbikumaa Tukadhibaan"
:D
hmmmm
Sis MG try and give him an alternative word or phrase. in fact you could kill 2 birds with one stone.
how about teaching him that whenever hes about to say F***,
tell him to say
"Fabi Ayi Aaalaa Irabbikumaa Tukadhibaan"
:D
mashaAllah. :rubeyes:
dhakiyya
17-05-07, 02:08 PM
Have a swear box at home. Every time you hear him swear, he has to put £1 (or more, whatever you decide) from his pocket money in the swear box. How much would depend on how much pocket money you give him, but it should be at least 2 weeks worth of money (I used to get 50p a week lol those were the days :p)
That way its consistent- same punishment each time, and not too much hassle for you (compared to sitting over him whilst he does hundreds of lines) and after doing it once or twice it'll really hit his "bank balance" and he'll inshaAllah stop doing it.
.: Anna :.
17-05-07, 03:29 PM
hmmmm
Sis MG try and give him an alternative word or phrase. in fact you could kill 2 birds with one stone.
how about teaching him that whenever hes about to say F***,
tell him to say
"Fabi Ayi Aaalaa Irabbikumaa Tukadhibaan"
:D
loool masha allah
Al-ghurabah
17-05-07, 03:32 PM
its from kids outside.. kids these days cant say a full sentence without using that word.. and as you know youngsters learn and pick up things very quick indeed..
and its hard to forget..
explain to him how bad it is and not a muslim thing to do allah will be angry with him.. if he carries on you may need to b e harsh to get message across not beats but angry or stop him wathcing TV or playing games for some time ..
Na'eemah
17-05-07, 03:34 PM
hmmmm
Sis MG try and give him an alternative word or phrase. in fact you could kill 2 birds with one stone.
how about teaching him that whenever hes about to say F***,
tell him to say
"Fabi Ayi Aaalaa Irabbikumaa Tukadhibaan"
:D
:masha: the most sensible thing you've said all year ~eek~ =p
the other day a child maybe 3 or 4 came in the shop and told his mum to f*** off u b****
and i was like :shock: :eek: and the mother just laughed at the boy
rather than punishing him..how abt trying to withold a reward or sumthing?
That's so chavvy. Once I was on the bus, and there was a woman and a kid in the pram (yes a pram) =S, and they were having a convo that went something like this:
Kid: Shut up
Woman: You shut up
Kid: No, you shut up
Woman: You shut up because I talked first....
Kid: Wotevaaaa
Woman: Talk to the hand
~wacko~
This went on for some time, I felt like telling them both to shut up lol
They were getting on my nerves, so loud aswell.
Medievalist
17-05-07, 03:37 PM
some people get happy when their kids swear. I knw of one lady who was bragging to my mother that her grandson says to her other grandson F-Off and they are 5/6 :rotfl:
In regards your kid - dunno tbh. Making him do lines and taking stuff away is just gonna stop him using it when he thinks yr not around. Im stumped.
Al-Fateh
17-05-07, 03:58 PM
doesw some small spanking help along with a minor punishment?
scare em...threaten em with a soap bar, saying you'll wash their mouths out with it...when they swear, slowly drag them to the bath room...they'll probably be crying at this point, so tell em to say sorry and make em promise they'll never do it again...then just hug and cuddle them and they'll forget the evil side of ya :D
One way I heard of dealing with this is by remebering that kids learn best from example. Someone I know said that if she doesnt want her kids to do something like swearing - she never does it herself - not even by mistake - and further to that she makes a huge deal about it when another kid does it - so much so that her kids know from day one that if other kids are treated/though of in a certain way for swearing by their parents - they will get treated 10 x worse - so they dont even go near it. She uses this method for getting them to study too - when they are studying she sits quietly and reads a book or does her marking (shes a teacher btw) and even puts the phone off the hook so her kids see - mum n dad r behaving like this - we copy. tis no good having the tv on n then telling ur kids to go do their homework - of course they wanna watch the tv too!
I do get that this may be impractical to carry out at all times - esp with a large age range of kids - but it can be helpful and work if the activites everyone is doing have the same sort of base.
dhakiyya
17-05-07, 04:35 PM
scare em...threaten em with a soap bar, saying you'll wash their mouths out with it...when they swear, slowly drag them to the bath room...they'll probably be crying at this point, so tell em to say sorry and make em promise they'll never do it again...then just hug and cuddle them and they'll forget the evil side of ya :D
be careful with threats that you don't intend to carry out. If you have always been consistent with punishment, and they know you do what you threaten, then this tactic could work. However if you have not always been consistent in the past and/or they're the type to push the boundaries and see if you really will do what you say, then steer clear of this. Your failure to actually carry it out will be seen as a green light to not listen to you in the future.
dhakiyya
17-05-07, 04:42 PM
Loobna that is excellent advice mashaAllah. Kids learn most by example. My mum never ever swore that I know of, the worst thing I ever heard her say was "Oh bloody" which she said after knocking the wing mirror off the car and me and my brother were like :eek: :eek: :rubeyes: did we hear that right?? (and she apologised for saying it too) - as a result neither me nor my brother have ever sworn at my mum, and would not do either.
My dad on the other hand, did swear from time to time, and one time I remember copying him and swearing in the exact same situation (cause if he did it, it was okay, right?) - and I got whacked for it (lol in retrospect but its :( and mixed messages for a kid and I don't think its a fair way to behave)
Have a swear box at home. Every time you hear him swear, he has to put £1 (or more, whatever you decide) from his pocket money in the swear box. How much would depend on how much pocket money you give him, but it should be at least 2 weeks worth of money (I used to get 50p a week lol those were the days :p)
That way its consistent- same punishment each time, and not too much hassle for you (compared to sitting over him whilst he does hundreds of lines) and after doing it once or twice it'll really hit his "bank balance" and he'll inshaAllah stop doing it.
he doesnt get any pocket money :scratch::rubeyes:
doesw some small spanking help along with a minor punishment?
well he is defo gonna get one next time it happens (inshallah it doesnt)
One way I heard of dealing with this is by remebering that kids learn best from example. Someone I know said that if she doesnt want her kids to do something like swearing - she never does it herself - not even by mistake - and further to that she makes a huge deal about it when another kid does it - so much so that her kids know from day one that if other kids are treated/though of in a certain way for swearing by their parents - they will get treated 10 x worse - so they dont even go near it. She uses this method for getting them to study too - when they are studying she sits quietly and reads a book or does her marking (shes a teacher btw) and even puts the phone off the hook so her kids see - mum n dad r behaving like this - we copy. tis no good having the tv on n then telling ur kids to go do their homework - of course they wanna watch the tv too!
I do get that this may be impractical to carry out at all times - esp with a large age range of kids - but it can be helpful and work if the activites everyone is doing have the same sort of base.
thats really good idea , but wallahi i dont even use words like that , even in anger :(
but i do feel i should defo make a big deal out of this....so far im gonan give him chores and that to do, i.e go clean all the bedrooms, he cant play his playstation or his cars etc..and take it from there
be careful with threats that you don't intend to carry out. If you have always been consistent with punishment, and they know you do what you threaten, then this tactic could work. However if you have not always been consistent in the past and/or they're the type to push the boundaries and see if you really will do what you say, then steer clear of this. Your failure to actually carry it out will be seen as a green light to not listen to you in the future.
your right sis, one of the biggest mistakes parents make is not carrying out what they threatened to do when it comes to the child, and i have tried to avoid this from day one, very good point sis dhakiyya
dhakiyya
17-05-07, 05:04 PM
he doesnt get any pocket money :scratch::rubeyes:
I think for kids aged eight and up (sorry I forgot how old your son is) pocket money is a good idea, because it teaches them the value of money, responsibility, and the value of working to earn money (if you let them do extra chores to earn more money) and its also something that can be taken away if they're naughty :up: - you can suspend the pocket money (e.g.none for the next three weeks) or make them pay for something, or pay fines, out of the money they already have. (lots of scope for making the punishment fit the crime, and sometimes its better for them to see the money being taken from them, than to have it stopped for X weeks)
I dont' think that kids should get money for all the chores they do, they should get an age appropriate amount of chores,with the option of doing extra chores on top of those, for money. (but of course you can fine them for not doing their chores :up: ) Also the money is dependent on them being a responsible member of the family (therefore if you suspend it its because they are not being a responsible member of the family)
Also if they want new toys all the time, you can tell them to save up their pocket money. Its a great achievement for kids to do this, and also it makes them focus on the toys they really want, rather than wanting all the latest faddy toys, and not valuing them when they get them.
you could also ask them to repeat the sentence properly (make them come up with a proper way themselves) as soon as you hear them say something wrong -be sure to do it as soon as you hear them and make sure they say the proper way out loud then too (this works when correcting grammer doesnt it? so apply it here)- this will get them thinking before they speak next time and also make them see there is an alternative. Also shows youndger siblings there's an alternative and makes kids feel good about getting it right themselves instead of having to be corrected.
doodlebug
17-05-07, 05:16 PM
Kids always push boundaries to see how far they'll get.
If they get a good reaction they love it - unless it's a slap round the leg.
I didn't swear after the first time I tried it - I got my mouth washed out with soap.
It sure did the trick. Not sure it would be allowed now though!
i think the punishments are not getting the reactions i want :rubeyes:
i asked him to clean his bedroom, he did that with enthusiasm:(
i thought ok...next punishment....
"i said now go and clean my room"..again he did that with a sense of achievment :rubeyes:
next i said,"now im gonna wash your mouth out with soap ,thats wat happens when u say bad words" - the boy was at the sink b4 me:rubeyes::rubeyes:
:help:
i got an 8 yr old cousin and he calls my brother and says to him
hi r u coming to my house today
and my bro says no i cant im busy today
and then lil boy goes oh well okay wait a minute and hangs up
few mins later my bro gets a txt from him saying 'well F*** off then'
:rubeyes:
i think the punishments are not getting the reactions i want :rubeyes:
i asked him to clean his bedroom, he did that with enthusiasm:(
i thought ok...next punishment....
"i said now go and clean my room"..again he did that with a sense of achievment :rubeyes:
next i said,"now im gonna wash your mouth out with soap ,thats wat happens when u say bad words" - the boy was at the sink b4 me:rubeyes::rubeyes:
:help:
:rotfl::rotfl:
i mean :nono: :nono:
:outta:
-Espérer-
17-05-07, 06:37 PM
I cant stand kids who swear. If my little sister says something as small as "You idiot" I'll shout at her and make her stand in a corner till she gets bored out of her brains and I'll tell mum no sweets or chocolates for her and no telly for her for the day. And it works Alhumdulillah.
I have a friend, her little brother said to her dad, "Tell you dad to f*** off.. Oh I forgot, you can't tell him because he's dead."
He's 8 years old. Wallah I was so shocked I wanted to stick my fork down his throat. What did my friends parents do? Nothing. He's their only son, he's going to carry on the family name so they did nothing. Will the kid even last 16 years at that house without killin his parents mentally and emotionally?
:mad:
i think the punishments are not getting the reactions i want :rubeyes:
i asked him to clean his bedroom, he did that with enthusiasm:(
i thought ok...next punishment....
"i said now go and clean my room"..again he did that with a sense of achievment :rubeyes:
next i said,"now im gonna wash your mouth out with soap ,thats wat happens when u say bad words" - the boy was at the sink b4 me:rubeyes::rubeyes:
:help:aww masha Allah hes a good boy subhanAllah!
-Espérer-
17-05-07, 06:38 PM
i think the punishments are not getting the reactions i want :rubeyes:
i asked him to clean his bedroom, he did that with enthusiasm:(
i thought ok...next punishment....
"i said now go and clean my room"..again he did that with a sense of achievment :rubeyes:
next i said,"now im gonna wash your mouth out with soap ,thats wat happens when u say bad words" - the boy was at the sink b4 me:rubeyes::rubeyes:
:help:
Take away from him what he likes best. It works on my little sister. We take away her telly time and her internet time. Or her book time. Don't let her go swimming that week. Don't give her chocolates and stuff for the day. And she'll miss this, apologize and not make the same mistake again. :)
I often wonder about this too. How are you supposed to stop them from swearing? because the high school I used to go to, it was uncool not to swear. Alhumdulillah, I was the type that didn't care about being cool so pear pressure never affected me.
I think the key is to stop them caring about being uptodate, having the latest stuff, stop them from worrying about fitting in. but how do you do that in this day and age???
Take away from him what he likes best. It works on my little sister. We take away her telly time and her internet time. Or her book time. Don't let her go swimming that week. Don't give her chocolates and stuff for the day. And she'll miss this, apologize and not make the same mistake again. :)
Never take away book time! Kids hardly read these days anyway...
Oh and parents should force higher standards, so give them a telling off for even mild insults, like using idiot (unless there's a very good reason for using it), crap, bloody.
If they know you get annoyed at those, they won't dare experiment with anything further up the expletive ladder.
i got an 8 yr old cousin and he calls my brother and says to him
hi r u coming to my house today
and my bro says no i cant im busy today
and then lil boy goes oh well okay wait a minute and hangs up
few mins later my bro gets a txt from him saying 'well F*** off then'
:rubeyes:
:shock: doesnt sound right coming from an adult let alone a kid!
aww masha Allah hes a good boy subhanAllah!
good boy? i wanna see abit of misery here!
bro nami i think the only way to do that these days is to lock them in the house till theyre 18 years old..and never let them leave or have acess to a t.v a computer or a radio... sadly its just not possible,even just a short walk to the shops with a 6 year old is enough to hear such words :(
" hey u f~ing" n~gger" etc. etc. my sons grew up with such words and worse that that ringing in their ears from complete strangers, adults too who apparently should know better. fact is that u just cant protect ur kids anymore all u can do is instill in them a love of right and wrong insha Allah.
I often wonder about this too. How are you supposed to stop them from swearing? because the high school I used to go to, it was uncool not to swear. Alhumdulillah, I was the type that didn't care about being cool so pear pressure never affected me.
I think the key is to stop them caring about being uptodate, having the latest stuff, stop them from worrying about fitting in. but how do you do that in this day and age???
wen it comes to clothes, i tell him, about the poor people who have nothing, and he sees adverts on t.v . i.e. islam channel of children crying and no food etc and it really makes him sad, so i use that as an opportunity to say things like "look they havent good any clothes and u wanted trainers with a tick?" alhumdulillah now i hav no problems , i buy him any pair i want, tick or no tick!
good boy? i wanna see abit of misery here!
yea but theres the thing we dont punish them to watch them suffer and cry ( i know u didnt mean it that way though ;)) we should punish them to make sure they understand it is wrong , like if we smack a kid u dont keep beating him till he cries, he got his smack and thats enough, some parents arent content till they see u break down and beg for mercy and fact is u just end up hating parents like that because of their injustice cos they only hurt you when they are angry and not because u did something wrong but because u ticked them off and now they want to take their anger and rage out on their children by beating them. i reckon if he was brave enough to do all u said and stand at the sink and take his punishment then thats enough masha allah what a good boy :)
yea but theres the thing we dont punish them to watch them suffer and cry ( i know u didnt mean it that way though ;)) we should punish them to make sure they understand it is wrong , like if we smack a kid u dont keep beating him till he cries, he got his smack and thats enough, some parents arent content till they see u break down and beg for mercy and fact is u just end up hating parents like that because of their injustice cos they only hurt you when they are angry and not because u did something wrong but because u ticked them off and now they want to take their anger and rage out on their children by beating them. i reckon if he was brave enough to do all u said and stand at the sink and take his punishment then thats enough masha allah what a good boy :)
im gonna do the same again tomorrow inshallah, and then see how it goes but the computer games are gonna stay away for a while -(DARN ill have to wait till he goes bed to play them now!).
This world is soo scary, u try and shield them from so much and its really exhausts sometimes, cos there is so much to shield them from :(
:salams
tell him speech a strong n powerful thing and he dont know whats gna take him to paradise or the DARK BURNIN PITS OF HELLFIRE... then light a match n make him stare at the fire :coolbro:
:salams
tell him speech a strong n powerful thing and he dont know whats gna take him to paradise or the DARK BURNIN PITS OF HELLFIRE... then light a match n make him stare at the fire :coolbro:
wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh yep that will work a treat insha Allah.. seriously MG i was so far too terrified to put a foot out of place as a kid because of threats like that my mother still says what a wonderful child i was and how she had no trouble from me at all :rolleyes: i was just too terrified though to do anything..
(although it didnt work when i found out there was no santa because then i thought well they lied about santa and the tooth fairy they probably lied about hell just to scare me)
dhakiyya
17-05-07, 07:25 PM
aww masha Allah hes a good boy subhanAllah!
I agree, he cleaned his bedroom with enthusiasm, that sounds like a well brought up kid to me :up:
Thinking about it, have you sat him down and explained why those words are so offensive? If he's intelligent and caring, and usually well behaved (it sounds like he is to me) then getting him to think about the effect words have on others may do the trick. Even explaining what they mean (though that depends on how old he is and what he knows regarding "the facts of life") - some thoughtful intelligent kids are horrified to find out what those words *really* mean and how disgusting they are,so they stop using them of their own choice, especially if you bring what Allah would think of those words into the explanation.
This approach does not work for the kid who is deliberately using the words to shock, for attention seeking, to be rebellious etc.
I agree, he cleaned his bedroom with enthusiasm, that sounds like a well brought up kid to me :up:
Thinking about it, have you sat him down and explained why those words are so offensive? If he's intelligent and caring, and usually well behaved (it sounds like he is to me) then getting him to think about the effect words have on others may do the trick. Even explaining what they mean (though that depends on how old he is and what he knows regarding "the facts of life") - some thoughtful intelligent kids are horrified to find out what those words *really* mean and how disgusting they are,so they stop using them of their own choice, especially if you bring what Allah would think of those words into the explanation.
This approach does not work for the kid who is deliberately using the words to shock, for attention seeking, to be rebellious etc.
i think he is to young for me to explain what that word exactly means.
mashallah normally he is fine , so well behaved and respectful, to the point his islamic teacher said , when she has a son, she wants him to be jus lik e my lil one :D
i think thats why my head is still spinning from the F*** word coming out of his mouth, cos normally he is so darn adorable mashallah!
-Espérer-
17-05-07, 07:32 PM
Never take away book time! Kids hardly read these days anyway...
Oh and parents should force higher standards, so give them a telling off for even mild insults, like using idiot (unless there's a very good reason for using it), crap, bloody.
If they know you get annoyed at those, they won't dare experiment with anything further up the expletive ladder.
She loves reading books, it's one of the best thing in her life.. So taking that away from her makes her :( and makes her sorry...
mg send him to me. and ill show him how cool it is NOT to swear :cool:
ill teach him some cool words :D
I don't think making him write lines will help IMO.
Actually, the only punishment that ever worked on me was writing lines. Everything else just contributed to my hatred of authority.
mg send him to me. and ill show him how cool it is NOT to swear :cool:
ill teach him some cool words :D
Ya Allah :smack:................ :p
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
:salams
I know this may sound a little cruel for you parents, but I think I know of a pretty good solution. Make fun of him! Mothers and fathers, especially ones who grew up in the same country as their children, have this wonderful tool that they don't use. Just tell him, "Are you a sissy? only sissies curse, because they can't do anything about their problems except run their mouth :p ." When you punish kids for cursing though, they think they're cool, and they have a story to say at school to their friends. They think they're tough. Put your body in the mind of the kid, you'll be able to figure him out.
For 6 years of age and younger, a good old beating usually works. I remember when I was five, I said the "F" word; my mother took her slipper off, and beat me with it sooo hard, I forgot why she was beating me :D . She got the hot sauce, and put a couple of dot in my mouth, which burnt REALLY bad. A little aggressive, but I have never cursed after that. NEVER.
May Allah be with all you parents out there :up:
Ya Allah :smack:................ :p
i teach me nephew how to be cool he sure loves it :p
im his fav masi :p
MG (and everyone else!) I made a thread on another part of the forum
http://ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124229
its about a weekly newsletter I get - I received this weeks issue a couple of hours ago and was just reading it now - one of the stories may be helpful to what we are discussing here - its the 'the holes in the fence-a moral story' (see attachment)
I hope you can draw some sort of analogy to help you :)
...and pls subscribe to the newsletter - I always find it a nice read - hopefully you will too :)
heaven2002
18-05-07, 08:24 AM
do you give your son pocket money? then have a swear box in the house, every time he swears put in a token or a slip of paper in the box, at end of week count how many tokens he has with him, then deduct from his week's pocket money:up:
MG (and everyone else!) I made a thread on another part of the forum
http://ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=124229
its about a weekly newsletter I get - I received this weeks issue a couple of hours ago and was just reading it now - one of the stories may be helpful to what we are discussing here - its the 'the holes in the fence-a moral story' (see attachment)
I hope you can draw some sort of analogy to help you :)
...and pls subscribe to the newsletter - I always find it a nice read - hopefully you will too :)
mashallah thats such a lovely example in that newsletter, j/k for that sis :)
id open a can of whuppasss MG and slap the black off his ass
:D
hope that helps inshallah ta'lah :love:
id open a can of whuppasss MG and slap the black off his ass
:D
hope that helps inshallah ta'lah :love:
:(
i have only ever smacked him about 2-3 times cos alhumdulillah he isnt a badly behaved child, jus this darn f*** word he has picked up :smack:
another tactic that works is making a child sit in one place...and let them do absoltely nothing, it drives them up the wall :D
Another thing you could try is making one of the kids (the younger one) in charge of making sure their siblings dont swear - they take it in turns each day and whoever hears one of the others say a naughty word has to do something extra round the house like cleaning the bathroom etc. That way it wont seem like mum n dad are watching them.
:(
i have only ever smacked him about 2-3 times cos alhumdulillah he isnt a badly behaved child, jus this darn f*** word he has picked up :smack:
another tactic that works is making a child sit in one place...and let them do absoltely nothing, it drives them up the wall :D
that made me think of another problem. what if one day you say, "go sit over there because of what you did and you cant move" and he doesnt listen... what then?
that made me think of another problem. what if one day you say, "go sit over there because of what you did and you cant move" and he doesnt listen... what then?
he has to sit at one point...i dont get it :rubeyes:
he has to sit at one point...i dont get it :rubeyes:
my english must be really bad lol
my english must be really bad lol
either that or im slow....ill go with what u sed :D
like i sed he isnt overly disobedient, he does listen alhumdulillah but i think he is hearing it so much outside he is saying it without realising it (and its meaning etc)...
either that or im slow....ill go with what u sed :D
like i sed he isnt overly disobedient, he does listen alhumdulillah but i think he is hearing it so much outside he is saying it without realising it (and its meaning etc)...
i didn't mean it like that, i was speaking hypathecially.
i was not referring to you when i said this sis. i was just saying generally, for example, what if some parent says to their kid, go sit over there, and he does not listen. what do you do then?
-Yassar
18-05-07, 09:02 PM
i didn't mean it like that, i was speaking hypathecially.
i was not referring to you when i said this sis. i was just saying generally, for example, what if some parent says to their kid, go sit over there, and he does not listen. what do you do then?
good question... lemme think about it...
Grab the kid and put him in the spot and tell him to stay there with that serious face... that should do the trick unless the kid got absolutely no respect for you.
good question... lemme think about it...
Grab the kid and put him in the spot and tell him to stay there with that serious face... that should do the trick unless the kid got absolutely no respect for you.
i've seen some kids in the uk would probably slap the parent in the face for doing that... and say, touch me again and im gonna report you... :rubeyes:
-Yassar
18-05-07, 09:29 PM
i've seen some kids in the uk would probably slap the parent in the face for doing that... and say, touch me again and im gonna report you... :rubeyes:
wow some people really gots to learn how to raise their kids. I really dislike it when a kid acts like that...
i didn't mean it like that, i was speaking hypathecially.
i was not referring to you when i said this sis. i was just saying generally, for example, what if some parent says to their kid, go sit over there, and he does not listen. what do you do then?
lol chill akhi, i havent taken offence to anything u sed.
with children, its not what u say its the WAY u say it, yes its a cliche but it defintely is true, the tone of your voice and eye contact, are 2 very important things if you want the child to listen, 99% of the time it wont fail, so if u want them to sit down and they say "no" . change your tone staright away, make eye contact and boom! inshallah they will be sitting in no time :p
i've seen some kids in the uk would probably slap the parent in the face for doing that... and say, touch me again and im gonna report you... :rubeyes:
that type of kid will require more long term time and attention to sort him/her out becos he/she has been left far to long to get away with bahviour like that, when u nip something in the bud from the START, it would never get to the point of them saying "dont u dare touch me!"
Once i told my lil one off, and he sed, "im gonna leave, this house and live at nanny's house" (he was like 6 yrs old!)
i sed "is it? come on, let me help u pack your things" and i serioulsy went up to his room, with him tailing behind me and he was jus looking on in shock while i chucked a couple of his vests in a carrier bag ;) ....he went "only joking mummy!".....never heard that line again :D
Al-Irhaab
19-05-07, 09:50 PM
How do u stop children under 10yrs swearing?:rubeyes:
i caught my little one saying the F-word when he thought im out of the room:rubeyes:
this is the second time i caught him now.
Ive tried making him write lines (like 100's)
ive sent him to his room and told him to think about how angry allah is with him
ive sat him down and talked nicely explaining the islamic stand on things......now i jus feel like smacking him if it happeens again.
This language isnt used in our home so i know its from outside.
hitting him etc is ok but it wont always get rid of problems and eventually gets to a stage where punishment gets normal to him... if ur close with him best way to do it is sit him down and tell him to swear in front of u.... just sit there and keep telling him... (dont worry he wont swear) eventually hel be like going crazy inside then tell him that even if u cant see him always allah (swt) can and on day of judgement allah *swt* will tell u that he swore... then blank him for a day or two .... will sort him right out.... if that dont work.... then chilli powder in the mouth...
hitting him etc is ok but it wont always get rid of problems and eventually gets to a stage where punishment gets normal to him... if ur close with him best way to do it is sit him down and tell him to swear in front of u.... just sit there and keep telling him... (dont worry he wont swear) eventually hel be like going crazy inside then tell him that even if u cant see him always allah (swt) can and on day of judgement allah *swt* will tell u that he swore... then blank him for a day or two .... will sort him right out.... if that dont work.... then chilli powder in the mouth...
Yeh have had a chat with him, and he has been getting punished for last 2 days..told him knew words to use instead when he gets upset, so inshallah im hoping it doesnt happen again ,its cringeing to hear swear words from adults let alone kids :rubeyes:
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