Childeren, Video Games, and Non-Muslim Friends

[Islamiyyah]

As Salaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu,

1) What is your opinion on childeren playing video games that are not educational?

2) What is your thought on your kids always playing with non-Muslim friends who arent influencial in a beneficial way i.e thugish etc?


JazakAllahu Khayr

[RashidD]

1.) Depends on what's "educational" - Counterstrike might teach someone how to shoot etc... *Ahem*

2.) Against. Unless my kids giving dawah, which i most likely wouldn't mind...

[Islamiyyah]

1.) Depends on what's "educational" - Counterstrike might teach someone how to shoot etc... *Ahem*

2.) Against. Unless my kids giving dawah, which i most likely wouldn't mind...

I was just playing counterstrike :eek:

If they are like 8-12 years old, critical years in their life, and their friends are like thugs.

[RashidD]

I would definitely be against that then, unless like i said before my kids were trying to urge the others towards good and forbidding the evil... InshaALLAH...

Oh and Wa Alaikum Salaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh :wswrwb:

[Zaid the Great]

I was just playing counterstrike :eek:


wow! sis playin CS (were u playin cs or cs: source)

1) allow them to play............. but keep it controlled......

2) no

[Islamiyyah]

wow! sis playin CS (were u playin cs or cs: source)

1) allow them to play............. but keep it controlled......

2) no

Yea I love that game :embar: only casue I can be the terrorist, lol.


I am asking being my younger brothers have all these friends they hang out with from the time they get home until after dark. Their friends have like chains, rings, listen to rap music etc, and my brothers, especially the younger one, are taking after them. I want to watch out for them becasue I am getting married soon and they are going to stay with my mom and I dont want them to give her a hard time when they are older. They even say they have girlfriends.

As for the video games, they rush the salah and hop back onto the PS2.

[Zaid the Great]

Yea I love that game :embar: only casue I can be the terrorist, lol.


I am asking being my younger brothers have all these friends they hang out with from the time they get home until after dark. Their friends have like chains, rings, listen to rap music etc, and my brothers, especially the younger one, are taking after them. I want to watch out for them becasue I am getting married soon and they are going to stay with my mom and I dont want them to give her a hard time when they are older. They even say they have girlfriends.

As for the video games, they rush the salah and hop back onto the PS2.


how old are they??

sorry for being nosy:o

[Islamiyyah]

how old are they??

sorry for being nosy:o

No problemo:up:


10 and 12

[ze leetle elper]

1) What is your opinion on childeren playing video games that are not educational?

Children should not be playing computer games. Period. It is unhealthy for a child to be sitting for a prolonged period in front of any kind of screen (PC, TV etc) because it affects their brain activity (slows down), their eyes (no eyeball movement, sight etc) and so many other reasons I can't even think of at the moment. One major error which goes unnoticed, is that for children nowadays, they don't even go out and socialise with other children, play games WITH other children, use imagination etc etc because all their entertainment is provided for indoors on a computer screen! Its no wonder so many children are obese, need glasses, have attention disorders, poor communication (speaking, listening, reading etc) because play (in the OLD sense of play, mucking about in the backyard, making a cart from wood, rolling it down the hill, breaking your arm :D ) is ESSENTIAL, not good, not preferred, but it is ESSENTIAL for healthy development of that child.


2) What is your thought on your kids always playing with non-Muslim friends who arent influencial in a beneficial way i.e thugish etc?

It doesn't matter if their friend is a Muslim or non Muslim. If the friend is a bad influence in the way you have described (ie: violent) then obviously no parent would want their child to be influenced by that other child. However if your question is relating to having non Muslim friends just generally, I do not see any harm in this, in fact I would encourage it. Children are children at the end of the day. Your child is just as likely to influence their friends as you may think thier friends may influence them!

[Zaid the Great]

No problemo:up:


10 and 12

In my limited experience:o , those ages seem to be rather crucial in the bringing up of a child.

rushing salah is typical for a ten yr old:rolleyes: but saying they have girlfriends is whoa :o ahem. since u happen to be their elder sister, i would advise you talk to them about your mum and how some stuff aren't allowed in islam etc.

[RashidD]

It doesn't matter if their friend is a Muslim or non Muslim. If the friend is a bad influence in the way you have described (ie: violent) then obviously no parent would want their child to be influenced by that other child. However if your question is relating to having non Muslim friends just generally, I do not see any harm in this, in fact I would encourage it. Children are children at the end of the day. Your child is just as likely to influence their friends as you may think thier friends may influence them!

Violence is not always bad...
I think we should encourage our kids to show our akhlaaq (good qualities) within the fold of our Islam and i'm against having non-muslim friends. There are many verses on Qur'an on this and i don't think it should be encouraged. Rather teach our kids to show our good qualities like respect for certain things etc.

[ze leetle elper]

Violence is not always bad...
I think we should encourage our kids to show our akhlaaq (good qualities) within the fold of our Islam and i'm against having non-muslim friends. There are many verses on Qur'an on this and i don't think it should be encouraged. Rather teach our kids to show our good qualities like respect for certain things etc.

Please elaborate on 'violence is not always bad' because I am finding it very very scary that you would willingly teach your child that some forms of violence are ok?!!!!

And also, what is wrong with a child having non Muslim friends? We are speaking about children and not teenagers or adults? When I talk about children in my post I am referring to young children most likely 10 years and younger?

[Zaid the Great]

Please elaborate on 'violence is not always bad' because I am finding it very very scary that you would willingly teach your child that some forms of violence are ok?!!!!

And also, what is wrong with a child having non Muslim friends? We are speaking about children and not teenagers or adults? When I talk about children in my post I am referring to young children most likely 10 years and younger?

good points...........

what i think the bro means bout violence is that the boys shouldnt act like girls??:rubeyes: wrestling is a sunnah btw so teaching ur son how to fight is OK but allowing him to fight unnecessarilly is WrOnG

[RashidD]

Please elaborate on 'violence is not always bad' because I am finding it very very scary that you would willingly teach your child that some forms of violence are ok?!!!!

Jihad Feesabilillah brings people out of the oppression of other religions and into the justice of Islam. Sorry if i was misunderstood...


And also, what is wrong with a child having non Muslim friends? We are speaking about children and not teenagers or adults? When I talk about children in my post I am referring to young children most likely 10 years and younger?

What is taught/ learned at a young age is generally carried on until/ when older. Bad habits are hard to break etc. At that age intermingling might be ok but how would you take them away later? Rather limit it etc and explain later on (when they can understand) that we have restrictions etc...

[RashidD]

good points...........

what i think the bro means bout violence is that the boys shouldnt act like girls??:rubeyes: wrestling is a sunnah btw so teaching ur son how to fight is OK but allowing him to fight unnecessarilly is WrOnG

That's a good point MashaALLAH! Also, parents shouldn't get into this coward (harsh word sorry!) mentality of violence is oh so wrong... No, there's a place for it. It's good in a certain place and bad in another - so teach the difference, InshaALLAH we'll all have wonderful children!

[ze leetle elper]

That's a good point MashaALLAH! Also, parents shouldn't get into this coward (harsh word sorry!) mentality of violence is oh so wrong... No, there's a place for it. It's good in a certain place and bad in another - so teach the difference, InshaALLAH we'll all have wonderful children!

Can you teach me the difference then? Scenario:

I am a 7 year od child, I would like you to explain to me how and where violence is 'good.'

[Zaid the Great]

Can you teach me the difference then? Scenario:

I am a 7 year od child, I would like you to explain to me how and where violence is 'good.'

ME: violence is only allowed in martial arts club!! OK???

MY SON: yes daddy

ME: good. now run along and if i ever see you throwing dolls at your little sister again you will be smacked.

MY SON: yes daddy

[RashidD]

Can you teach me the difference then? Scenario:

I am a 7 year od child, I would like you to explain to me how and where violence is 'good.'

When disbelieving non-muslims invade muslim land then use violence against them. If they live in/ under your land under Islamic rule then let them be. InshaALLAH my seven year old (May ALLAH grant me one or more, ameen) will understand that. [Adapt as appropriate for the understanding of a 7 year old - sorry didn't notice you wanted me to teach it...] The example isn't exhaustive.

Looking back, we're actually talking about 10/ 12 year olds as Umm Talhah's bros were the subjects in question.

[ze leetle elper]

Jihad Feesabilillah brings people out of the oppression of other religions and into the justice of Islam. Sorry if i was misunderstood...

I still do not understand your point. Do you think it is ok to teach a young child that using violence is acceptable? What situations?


What is taught/ learned at a young age is generally carried on until/ when older. Bad habits are hard to break etc. At that age intermingling might be ok but how would you take them away later? Rather limit it etc and explain later on (when they can understand) that we have restrictions etc...

Why is having a non Muslim friend a bad habit? Did you have any non Muslim friends as a child? Did they affect you? What about non Muslim neighbuors with young children too? Will you teach your child not to communicate or acknowledge them? If YOU as the parnt provide guidance, understanding and give your child an upright bringing within your family home, there is no need to 'take away' later in life, because you have already provided your child with a basic foundation of morals and values by which they can make the correct decision themselves.

[RashidD]

I still do not understand your point. Do you think it is ok to teach a young child that using violence is acceptable? What situations?

See above please.


Why is having a non Muslim friend a bad habit? Did you have any non Muslim friends as a child? Did they affect you? What about non Muslim neighbuors with young children too? Will you teach your child not to communicate or acknowledge them? If YOU as the parnt provide guidance, understanding and give your child an upright bringing within your family home, there is no need to 'take away' later in life, because you have already provided your child with a basic foundation of morals and values by which they can make the correct decision themselves.

I didn't mean completely disassociate with them like completely disregard their existence. Like i said, limit the contact or make it within restrictions for example explain the guidelines we have regarding food, prayer times, dogs etc. Also remind them of the verses where ALLAH says not to take the disbelievers are friends (Surah 5 verse 51 for example) which is the reason i'm against it. ALLAH tells us we can't/ shouldn't be friends with the kuffar in many verses.

[Zaid the Great]

See above please.



I didn't mean completely disassociate with them. Like i said, limit the contact or make it within restrictions for example explain the guidelines we have regarding food, prayer times, dogs etc. Also remind them of the verses where ALLAH says not to take the disbelievers are friends (Surah 5 verse 51 for example) which is the reason i'm against it. ALLAH tells us we can't/ shouldn't be friends with the kuffar in many verses.

i think the tafsir of that ayah differs from your interpretation.:o

[muslimah85]

your right to a degree, it is important to show a child the use of violence (maybe a harsh word?) ie a self of physical protection that they have to exert in some cases where violence is acceptable and needed.

In the cases or martial arts/sports etc where the degree of physical exertion is acceptable and may result in harm this has to be explained this is allowed in that situation only. In contrast to the a child needs to learn self defense and the acceptable use of violence in cases where they are taken or hurt by a stranger eg a pedophile or someone trying to do something unacceptable to them ie they are found in a room with a stranger who makes advances, the child sho7uld be aware of the options of exerting violence they have and how this is rare but acceptable in such situations.

[.: Anna :.]

computer games i wouldnt completely ban, thats not fair to do as i play them and did play them as a kid and i find them okay bt limit the time on them. i dnt think they need to play it every day, jst now and then..

non muslim friends is okay as long as they also have muslim friends and understand that they cnt do everything wat the non muslim friends do. they have non muslim cousins from my side so im not gna tell them for example dnt be friends wit my sisters children! as teenagers it becomes more cos the non muslim kids start 2 go 2 wrong places bt i wont allow them 2 accompany in that stuff. i wouldnt let go out with non muslim kids in evenings, well even muslim kids if u dnt kno wat they will all be doing its not great...

[ze leetle elper]

Ok I think there has been a misunderstanding cos the original Q was pertaining to violent computer games, which do not teach a child self defence or guide them as to what situations harming another may be permitted (ie. if you are being attacked or soething)

They only glorify violence and IMO serve no purpose AT ALL. No children should ever play these types of games, they are a complete waste of time.

[.: Anna :.]

^ i dont think violent ones are good.. for kids
like car racing or the sims etc is alright imo

[heaven2002]

A) i would not let any children of mine play violent video games which promoted gun violence etc

B) I would net let any child of mine hang out with bad company be they muslim or non-muslim

[MG]

[quote=Umm Talhah;1862444]As Salaamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatu,

1) What is your opinion on childeren playing video games that are not educational?

i dont see a problem, they have to have fun in my opinion, as long as they fulfil their duties and chores then i dont see a problem. Thsi does not mean violent games or ones full of soft porn

2) What is your thought on your kids always playing with non-Muslim friends who arent influencial in a beneficial way i.e thugish etc?

not all non-muslims are bad influence some muslims can be bad influences as well, sometimes muslims can learn of non-muslims, its not a strange thing, sometimes they will ask questions about islam, which could make your child think deeper about their religion too, again i dont see a problem, its bad influnces we need to keep them away from, and i said that can come from muslims as well as non-muslim s.



JazakAllahu Khayr

[nami]

What happened to the days when kids used to go out and play with their friends, on their bikes and in the park? when they used to fall off their bikes and get cut, but still got up and continued playing?

[Zaid the Great]

What happened to the days when kids used to go out and play with their friends, on their bikes and in the park? when they used to fall off their bikes and get cut, but still got up and continued playing?

errrrm........... kids still play................ they just have more things to play with!

[nami]

errrrm........... kids still play................ they just have more things to play with!

todays console generation is soft :p

[-Yassar]

todays console generation is soft :p

true that...my 5 year old nephew just gets me so frustrated sometimes.
And violent video games, pshhhhht that's nothing compared to what my nephew experienced already on tv and comp. Just the other day he tells me 'I wanna join the muslim army to kill some american soldiers' and I was like sssshhhhhh don't say that to anyone lol.

[dhakiyya]

What happened to the days when kids used to go out and play with their friends, on their bikes and in the park? when they used to fall off their bikes and get cut, but still got up and continued playing?

I remember those days.... in those days computer games were fun, but very basic and you got bored of them after a while and went back outside to play games with bikes :up:

Some of the bike games we played though, some adults today would ban, like "ball he" which was when there was one less bike than kids, and the kid without a bike would have to hit one of the kids on bikes by throwing a ball at them, and if they did they got the bike and the kid they hit got the ball. Or the other one, where in an enclosed area you had to be the last kid still on their bike when all the other kids had fallen off (and you weren't allowed to touch the ground or go outside the area) :up:

[nami]

true that...my 5 year old nephew just gets me so frustrated sometimes.
And violent video games, pshhhhht that's nothing compared to what my nephew experienced already on tv and comp. Just the other day he tells me 'I wanna join the muslim army to kill some american soldiers' and I was like sssshhhhhh don't say that to anyone lol.

lol

[nami]

Some of the bike games we played though, some adults today would ban, like "ball he" which was when there was one less bike than kids, and the kid without a bike would have to hit one of the kids on bikes by throwing a ball at them, and if they did they got the bike and the kid they hit got the ball. Or the other one, where in an enclosed area you had to be the last kid still on their bike when all the other kids had fallen off (and you weren't allowed to touch the ground or go outside the area) :up:

That game sounds more fun than any computer game I've ever played. :D
Probably best to play it in a field (grassy area), but then they miss out on the cuts and bruises fun. lol

[dhakiyya]

That game sounds more fun than any computer game I've ever played. :D
Probably best to play it in a field (grassy area), but then they miss out on the cuts and bruises fun. lol

Field? Whats this field then? There weren't fields on the estate where I grew up.... we played those games on tarmac and concrete :up:

[nami]

Field? Whats this field then? There weren't fields on the estate where I grew up.... we played those games on tarmac and concrete :up:

lol, same here, only we never thought about a game as cool as that! we used to make ramps and jumped over them with the bikes. the amount of times i fell and got cut/bruised. once i broke my arm, another time i broke my wrist, and another time i broke my finger. luckly i was young and healed quickly. so much fun. :D

even more fun when we went to school with the cast on the arm and everyone wanted so sign it ;), and we didn't have to do work because the teacher said, your arm must hurt, even though i am right handed and i broke my left arm...

[dhakiyya]

:up: the Norwegians (or some other country round that way) consider that you've had a deprived childhood if you haven't broken any bones lol

Actually I lied (sort of) we did have fields that we played on occasionally, but that (in my experience lol) doesn't make them safer... like for example one time me and the kids in my street went down the green to play cricket. Well this boy (can't remember why) jokingly threw a cricket stump at me (whilst we were setting them up lol) and it connected with my nose in just the right way to cause a serious nose bleed. And I was wearing a white t-shirt lol. So I had to walk home, getting more and more covered in blood, I remember getting some really :eek: looks from people. Well I was fine :up: but my mum threw the t-shirt in the bin cause it was so covered in blood there was no way the stains would come out lol

[nami]

:up: the Norwegians (or some other country round that way) consider that you've had a deprived childhood if you haven't broken any bones lol

Actually I lied (sort of) we did have fields that we played on occasionally, but that (in my experience lol) doesn't make them safer... like for example one time me and the kids in my street went down the green to play cricket. Well this boy (can't remember why) jokingly threw a cricket stump at me (whilst we were setting them up lol) and it connected with my nose in just the right way to cause a serious nose bleed. And I was wearing a white t-shirt lol. So I had to walk home, getting more and more covered in blood, I remember getting some really :eek: looks from people. Well I was fine :up: but my mum threw the t-shirt in the bin cause it was so covered in blood there was no way the stains would come out lol

those were the days. at least we can tell stories like that to our kids insha'allah. i wonder what todays kids will tell their children? son, i was really good at a computer game called (xyz), which really worked out my thumbs, look how strong my thumbs are... daughter, i was really good at a computer game called zyx??? the sims...

sounds a bit sad to me. :p

[ze leetle elper]

See what I mean?! When our children get to our age, what will they be able to tell their children about their good old childhood experiences???

'...Oh and when I was 7, I clocked so-and-so PC game in a record 2 days...oh yes those were the good old days...'

[nami]

See what I mean?! When our children get to our age, what will they be able to tell their children about their good old childhood experiences???

'...Oh and when I was 7, I clocked so-and-so PC game in a record 2 days...oh yes those were the good old days...'

LOL, it just doesn't sound right...

[ze leetle elper]

those were the days. at least we can tell stories like that to our kids insha'allah. i wonder what todays kids will tell their children? son, i was really good at a computer game called (xyz), which really worked out my thumbs, look how strong my thumbs are... daughter, i was really good at a computer game called zyx??? the sims...

sounds a bit sad to me. :p

Haha jinx!! (bet our kids won't say that :p )

[nami]

Haha jinx!! (bet our kids won't say that :p )

insha'allah :up: