would you leave child alone?

[heaven2002]

salaams

considering all the news coverage about the little girl missing in portugal, i was wondering would you ever leave ur child alone if u were just close by?

in this case the parents were eating at a restaurant opposite from their hotel and had left the four year old with her little siblings asleep in hotel room, and they were going back to check on them every half hour.

i know when i was little my mum wud pop out to the corner shop and leave me with elder sister.
but if i had kids id never leave them in a hotel room alone, its not the same as home is it?

but many people interviewed on the telly have said that they have done the same when they are on holiday, which surprises me.

i get the feeling that if the little girl had a single mother for a mum rather than two respected doctors as parents then people on the telly would be less understanding?

what do you think?

inshallah the little girl will be found soon

[Zaid the Great]

i dont think this is an issue of 'mollycoddling'..............

the child's safety is at risk.....

[heaven2002]

if the hotel was a family resort and u were just near the room, and were checking every while then i supposed the parents of this child thought there was very little risk
if u were in an area that had a high crime rate then i suppose u may think risk was greater
having a child kidnapped is not an everyday risk so probably most parents dont think of that ever happening

[Medievalist]

In the parents defence - they were close-by and were responsible enough to check every half an hour. If they came back with no incident and told their family/friends that they went for an evening meal and checked back on the kids every half hour - I think most people would say they had a perfect compromise. Enjoying themselves but still being diligent with their kids.

Just one of those things - but its only after something bad happens that the parents will tear their hair out. Feel for them.

[heaven2002]

even with the checking i think all parents shud take their childs age into consideration when doing sumthing like this
toddlers are just too young to be left alone

[Abu Noah]

we all make mistakes, some more costly than others :(

[Eemaan]

i get the feeling that if the little girl had a single mother for a mum rather than two respected doctors as parents then people on the telly would be less understanding?

good point, swap the two doctors over for a pair of 18 year old girls partying in ibiza, checking in on the kids every half hour what do we get?

we all make mistakes, some more costly than others

:up: retrospect is a wonderful thing

some unbelievably irresponsible parents allow their five year olds wonder the streets, allowing them to pop to corner shops (ive seen this myself) completely oblivious to the threat of child abusing predators on the streets. its awful.

May she be returned to her family soon inshallah.

[.: Anna :.]

I don't think I would feel happy to leave small children like that alone.. once i have an older child i can leave them in charge of younger one for short time if i have to go out (like maybe 12, 13, 14 but depends on how responsible they are?) but for this even though checking every half an hour or 1 hour, well something bad can happen to them in much less time than this. Even not to the level of kidnapping but what if they wake up and want their mum, wont they be upset that mum is not there and no dad either or granny or anyone? So instead of eating out in the restaurant i would rather get the food as take away and bring it and eat in the house with the kids if i wanted outside food insha allah. If want to go out and leave them, I would insha allah persuade my sister or brothers or parents or someone to look after for that time

[`asiya]

honestly i would never leave my children alone on holiday and i never have done, i even got a room with single beds in for them too, so they wont be left alone all night in another room - even if it is next door to me, were in a strange country with a strange language and there is not a chance i would let them out of my sight, not even to nip out and eat dinner if the kids are tired u get takeaway and stay in with them. Now they are 16 and 18 its different and i would allow them to have their own room together nearby and in towns they are familiar with abroad, i let them go alone shopping etc they are young men now and u get to a stage where a teenager needs to be trusted as a capable young adult. These parents made a terrible mistake and its just heartbreaking and i just hope and pray that little girl is safe and isnt harmed in anyway insha Allah she is returned home again soon.

[Loobna]

You cannot leave a young child alone - theres no telling what will happen :(
If they are to be left - leave them with an older sibling - old enough to be responsible if something goes wrong.
I hope they find that little girl - its so sad following the news about it and not hearing of any positive developments :( Wherever she is, I hope shes safe.

[ummbilal]

i sometimes leave my 6 year old with his 11 yr old bro for 5-10 mins while i pop to the corner shop, wouldnt lave babies with a toddler though, holidays for us are about the children having fun, and being safe not our fun

[assia]

It takes the blink of an eye thats all and there gone...... They should have never left those children alone, what if a fire occured or one of the children got poorly and began to vomit, choke etc, these are all dangerous situation's of course not like being abducted, i do feel deeply for those parents i do but i would never leave my child alone at home let alone abroad. However, may Allah be with the parents, family and most of all the little girl!! i pray that she is found safe and unharmed insha'Allah. But brother's and sister's my son past away january this year while he was abroad, he was 21, no one could tell me what had happened to my son, yes when it's time to leave this earth it's time, and one says alhamdulila. Guess what im trying to say is that i feel pain every day, every breath i take it hurt's cuz i miss my son, and he died sudden death, but i would not want to go through what those two poor poor parent's are going through today (the not knowing) What they must be going through day and night, wondering if she is alive or not, hurt or suffering! Brother's and sister's let's all pray for her safety home. InshaAllah!

Ameen
Salam Sister in islam

[Tahiyah]

never EVER leave your child alone

these days, criminals break into your home and steal your children from their own rooms

i am a mother who worries non stop. i have never slept all night since i have been a mother. i still, even tho they are older, get up and check on them in the middle of the night. i have always walked my kids to their classroom door and picked them up at the door right after school. well, in middle school, i let them take the bus... but i still worried constantly.

once my son wandered away from me and my husband at the zoo. i thought he was holding his fathers hand. his father let him go, thinking he came to me. he didnt. he wandered over to the elephants area and was looking at them. he was gone for about 2 minutes. the worst 2 minutes of my life. this was about 14 years ago and i have had panic attacks ever since.

many call me over protective.. i had some bad experiences as a kid, that may be why i am the way i am. these days tho, i dont think you can be to over protective.

my oldest comes home a little late sometimes, i pace the floors until he gets in. i cant help it, thats just me.

[Tahiyah]

It takes the blink of an eye thats all and there gone...... They should have never left those children alone, what if a fire occured or one of the children got poorly and began to vomit, choke etc, these are all dangerous situation's of course not like being abducted, i do feel deeply for those parents i do but i would never leave my child alone at home let alone abroad. However, may Allah be with the parents, family and most of all the little girl!! i pray that she is found safe and unharmed insha'Allah. But brother's and sister's my son past away january this year while he was abroad, he was 21, no one could tell me what had happened to my son, yes when it's time to leave this earth it's time, and one says alhamdulila. Guess what im trying to say is that i feel pain every day, every breath i take it hurt's cuz i miss my son, and he died sudden death, but i would not want to go through what those two poor poor parent's are going through today (the not knowing) What they must be going through day and night, wondering if she is alive or not, hurt or suffering! Brother's and sister's let's all pray for her safety home. InshaAllah!

Ameen
Salam Sister in islam


subhan Allah! aww sis, you have certainly been tested. Inshaa Allah, your son is in a beautiful, peacful place. Inshaa Allah, you will be with him in Jennah, forever. may Allah (swt) grant you ease and patience, may He fill you with strong eeman. ameen.

yes, please, let us all make dua for this precious little childs safe return

[assia]

Ameen...... Sister Tahiyah Ameen, InshaAllah i join him in jennah one day thankyou sister may allah guide you and your family and keep you all safe insha'Allah. They say the pain get's easy but it don't if anything it get's worse, you realise that your child is not coming back, day after day and night after night, his gone..... i pray and give du'a, i read qur'an etc it's my only comfort and hope, but i still wait for wasim... that's his name to come sneaking in the kitchen behind me and grabing me tight then lifting me in the air while im screaming "just you wait wasim" and he is laughing and laughing saying did not mean to scare you mom, but it never stop's him doing it again. i miss his smile's, his joke's, his trick's he play's on me, i miss the cup of tea he brings me up to bed in the morning. Im getting carried away now sister.... i just miss him so much i can't breathe at time's. But Alhamdilila he passed away as he completed his morning pray after placing his praying mat under his head. I love him so much and inshaAllah ill be with him one day!!!

Ameen sister Tahiyah
Again may Allah protect the little girl, may she return homw safe inshaAllah

[.: Anna :.]

subhan Allah! aww sis, you have certainly been tested. Inshaa Allah, your son is in a beautiful, peacful place. Inshaa Allah, you will be with him in Jennah, forever. may Allah (swt) grant you ease and patience, may He fill you with strong eeman. ameen.

yes, please, let us all make dua for this precious little childs safe returnaameen

[dhakiyya]

some unbelievably irresponsible parents allow their five year olds wonder the streets, allowing them to pop to corner shops (ive seen this myself) completely oblivious to the threat of child abusing predators on the streets. its awful.
.

THere aren't that many paedophiles wandering around, but of course parents should be wise to the danger, and teach their kids to be wise to "stranger danger", its essential.

With regards little kids wandering around on the streets, the biggest danger for them is traffic. Kids can't cross busy roads on their own until about age 12 or 13 (and only then if they're taught how to) because younger kids can't easily judge the speed that vehicles travel at, or understand the road rules e.g. crossing at traffic islands on busy roundabouts. Even if going from the kids home to the shop doesn't take them across any busy roads, whats to stop them from wandering off route? Kids would do that for all kinds of reasons, especially if there are other kids around.

Its not just little kids either, traffic accidents is the leading cause of death to teenagers afaik (there was an advert about that) because they are often distracted by their friends or other things going on and wander into the road without thinking, or think they can just quickly dash accross a busy road or something. Plus they can get lazy and run across a busy road, rather than walk 10 metres down the road to a pedestrian crossing. Then there's the few idiots that play "chicken"

With leaving kids on their own at home (which is illegal for children under 12) if the kid had an accident, or was ill would they know what to do? A story I remember from when I was a kid, told by the mother of the boys involved (aged approx 8 and 10) to the other mothers in the playground, they were left alone for a while (maybe a couple of hours) during the day. Mum came back to find vomit everywhere, both boys had got vomit on them, and trodden it into the carpet, and basically got it everywhere. What had happened, was one boy became ill with a tummy bug, was sick without managing to get to the bathroom a few times, and neither knew what to do, or how to clean it up, I think the older boy had tried to clean it up but not succeeded - and well you get the idea.

Even with parents being around, accidents in the home are a leading cause of hospital admissions for under 5's. This age group should certainly never be left alone, and even older kids may not know what to do if things go wrong, even if you teach them what to do, you don't know if they will remember it in a crisis situation.

So, of course we should be aware of paedo sickos, but we should also be aware of the other dangers that kids face.

[dhakiyya]

May she be returned to her family soon inshallah.

Ameen :love:

[Ar-Raya]

Don't want to scare anyone...but U have to be aware of the laws of the land...And that there are some people out there that don't like muslims...and will do whatever they can to damage the reputation of muslims in general and Muslims families etc...

Just be careful what u say on an open forum about leaving ur children on their own...and check the laws of leaving ur kids even for just a few minutes in the house by themselves...

Although it seems that this forum is full of muslims...Be aware that people can look but not post kinda thing...

[dhakiyya]

Good advice Ar Raya mashaAllah :up: although I don't think anyone is advocating leaving kids on their own.

[seven]

it's sad that it come to this...

my parents always go on about how in the past they used to leave their door open all day, and let the kids go outside on the street to play by themselves without a worry.

although i think the risk of something happening is exaggerated, it has considerably increased.

[muslimah85]

WHEN a convicted pedophile can abduct a child from their own bedroom.bathroom or garden with the parents being AT home, as has been proven in so many recent cases how on earth can you advocate and justify leaving your child not 1 but 3 under the age of 5 alone at home? It makes no sense, there is no defense even if the restaurant was in the same building

:smack:

[dhakiyya]

it's sad that it come to this...

my parents always go on about how in the past they used to leave their door open all day, and let the kids go outside on the street to play by themselves without a worry.

although i think the risk of something happening is exaggerated, it has considerably increased.

Stuff did used to happen to kids back then, its just it wasn't publicised, and often kids weren't even believed. I've heard many stories from my parents generation (though not actually from my parents) about child molesters tricking kids into following them somewhere and then assaulting them. In fact it was very easy for paedophiles to operate then, because absolutely no-one discussed child sex abuse at all. When childline started up in the mid 80s, there was a campaign to raise awareness of child sex abuse at the same time, and people of all ages, even elderly people contacted the campaign to tell of sexual abuse that they had suffered, if they had told anyone they were never believed, often punished for telling lies, and that no-one but no-one talked about. It was only in the 80s that people started accepting that it happened and the kids in the past that spoke about it were not lying. The church covering up such things is just one small part of the problem, childrens homes were riddled with paedophiles, they had free reign to infiltrate any profession or organisation that involved children. They didn't kill the children, there was no need, cause almost no-one believed the kids anyway, and paedophilia was not considered anything like as bad as killing a child. Even when anyone did manage to convict a paedophile, their jail sentences were measured in months, not years. And the cases were not generally publicised. Kids today are probably safer on the whole, but paedophiles are far more organised and some will kill the children afterwards to protect themselves if necessary.

[Fairy]

The parents are both doctors so wealthy, why didnt they just get a nanny, there were many available!

[bint]

nope, never ever. wudnt ever

[Kubs]

I don’t think I will.

[Peacenik]

I guess we won't know until the situation arises.

It's easy to say 'no we won't, and maybe that's what the parents of this little girl said when they didn't have children.

[Cashew]

Maybe it did happen and I just don't remember it.

But I just don't remember this sense of fear being so common when I was a kid or when my kids were little.

Baby-sitters were always available. You would usually hire two because it wasn't that much more money than hiring only one. You knew who their parents were.

That said, I can't recall ever leaving kids alone while on vacation. You always had an adult present. (This is why grandparents came along on vacations.)

Why?

I don't think it was because we were particularly afraid of paedophiles. I think it was because you worried that a kid might wake-up sick or have an accident or something. You wanted an adult watching the kids in case there was an emergency.

[perfectpearl]

Never....unless their older like over 12. If they are like together like one 11 and one 12 then maybe.

[meer]

Never....unless their older like over 12. If they are like together like one 11 and one 12 then maybe.

ya leaving children with others or alone at home is really not acceptable by reasponsible parents :up:

I love to have at least 12, childrens in my family...:hidban: :hidban:

[me.sawda]

My parents did that when I was 10..it felt horrible and wouldn't like it to happen to anyone:( :insha: even now they stay abroad:crying2: hate it too:(

[meer]

My parents did that when I was 10..it felt horrible and wouldn't like it to happen to anyone:( :insha: even now they stay abroad:crying2: hate it too:(

sawda maybe you'r parents have some Genuine problem, that why they live you alone in such small age..but normally parent will not prefer to leave there children away from them...:rolleyes:

[perfectpearl]

ya leaving children with others or alone at home is really not acceptable by reasponsible parents :up:

I love to have at least 12, childrens in my family...:hidban: :hidban:

woo0o0o0o0ow thats a load lot of kids. Feel sorry for ur wife!

My parents did that when I was 10..it felt horrible and wouldn't like it to happen to anyone:( :insha: even now they stay abroad:crying2: hate it too:(

Awwww! Well you werent really young! But yes i would never leave a 10 year old alone. Thats sad. :(

[meer]

woo0o0o0o0ow thats a load lot of kids. Feel sorry for ur wife! :(

As-Salam-Alikum,

It's good to have more childrens in family, because having one or two childrens in family will make all the happenes limited...:D

Actually we are only two bro & one & only one dear sister, but we miss each other's when we did'nt see ...and some time our home get empty If some of us are not at home, I think this all happening because of our more love & undustanding between us but allways missing other members on every good or bad time...

but Enshallah I must have more childrens so that my family will be big & so there will be no problem If some of our family member away from home...:hidban: :hidban:

[Cashew]

woo0o0o0o0ow thats a load lot of kids. Feel sorry for ur wife!



Awwww! Well you werent really young! But yes i would never leave a 10 year old alone. Thats sad. :(

A very devout Roman Catholic guy I grew up with got married and had twelve kids...and his wife managed to get her degree in family psychology between #6 and #12!

I remember asking him how it all worked and he said that very quickly the kids start helping take care of the other kids.

I imagine that having twelve kids is probably no more difficult than having six. (Unless of course you consider all the food!)

[carol_au]

Stuff did used to happen to kids back then, its just it wasn't publicised, and often kids weren't even believed. I've heard many stories from my parents generation (though not actually from my parents) about child molesters tricking kids into following them somewhere and then assaulting them. In fact it was very easy for paedophiles to operate then, because absolutely no-one discussed child sex abuse at all. When childline started up in the mid 80s, there was a campaign to raise awareness of child sex abuse at the same time, and people of all ages, even elderly people contacted the campaign to tell of sexual abuse that they had suffered, if they had told anyone they were never believed, often punished for telling lies, and that no-one but no-one talked about. It was only in the 80s that people started accepting that it happened and the kids in the past that spoke about it were not lying. The church covering up such things is just one small part of the problem, childrens homes were riddled with paedophiles, they had free reign to infiltrate any profession or organisation that involved children. They didn't kill the children, there was no need, cause almost no-one believed the kids anyway, and paedophilia was not considered anything like as bad as killing a child. Even when anyone did manage to convict a paedophile, their jail sentences were measured in months, not years. And the cases were not generally publicised. Kids today are probably safer on the whole, but paedophiles are far more organised and some will kill the children afterwards to protect themselves if necessary.

The reason no one talked much about it is that children are often sexually abused by people they know.. and even in abduction cases, it's more often than not family members. I work now in Child Protection and my daily work is with children and young people who have been removed from their families because of neglect and abuse, emotiional, physical and sexual. It's so heartbreaking to hear their stories and see the results as they move from being the victims to being the ones self harming or harming others.. anything to escape the pain of the past.

The issue is.. always know where your children are, be involved with them and always know who they are with. Children completely rely on us for everything and any form of abuse will affect them for life. i'm not suggesting that leaving a child alone at home once is abuse, but as someone has said.. even that one incident can scar a child for life if they wake up scared and want mummy or daddy and they are not there.

[`asiya]

The reason no one talked much about it is that children are often sexually abused by people they know.. and even in abduction cases, it's more often than not family members. I work now in Child Protection and my daily work is with children and young people who have been removed from their families because of neglect and abuse, emotiional, physical and sexual. It's so heartbreaking to hear their stories and see the results as they move from being the victims to being the ones self harming or harming others.. anything to escape the pain of the past.

The issue is.. always know where your children are, be involved with them and always know who they are with. Children completely rely on us for everything and any form of abuse will affect them for life. i'm not suggesting that leaving a child alone at home once is abuse, but as someone has said.. even that one incident can scar a child for life if they wake up scared and want mummy or daddy and they are not there.

:( its true and people dont realise how scared kids get when parents are gone. And never ever forget that a whole room could be burnt to a cinder in 2!!!! yes 2!!! minutes and even a slightly older child can panic if something like that happens and he/she is left with younger kids.

one evening i heard the two little girls who live in the house underneath me screaming their heads off, "mummy where are you im scared, mummy! mummy ! " "i want my daddy" they were sreaming so loudly that i had to go and see what was going on ... ( although i knew the parents would probably just have a go at me because they did that anyway and one of these little girls is terrified of me because im muslim and she says muslims arent real they are evil robots :scratch: wonder who told her that :rolleyes: )

anyway i couldnt ignore their screams anymore, maybe the house was on fire... i got another neighbour for back up, and turned out those little girls ( aged about 9 and 10 ) had been left alone while mum and dad had gone out for the evening it was 11pm and one of them was hysterical, the other one was too afraid to cry because she said her father will be angry with her, and she kept telling her sister to be quiet, the kid was shaking. left alone and too afraid to cry because of the beating she would recieve...even the one who used to be afraid of me ran into my arms to get a cuddle she was just sobbing :(

sadly as we talked to them at the door and tried to comfort them... the father came home... and promptly began shouting at them for crying ... and we had to scarper .. but if u report them to social services, then what they get put in care and most likely abused by some sicko. theres a lot of problems in the care homes with abuse by staff both physical, mental and sexual has happened at several childrens homes before and two freinds of mine, a brother and sister, were both badly abused for many years by care workers :( even when they caught scabies no one thought to see why a child was infected with this.... why werent his sheets changed and why wasnt he given clean clothes to wear....so whats better to be with parents like that, or to live a very lonely, and loveless existance in a childrens home... its not an option really. i just wonder if kids are better off with the parents even if they are complete imbecillles...

[K h a l i l]

:( its true and people dont realise how scared kids get when parents are gone. And never ever forget that a whole room could be burnt to a cinder in 2!!!! yes 2!!! minutes and even a slightly older child can panic if something like that happens and he/she is left with younger kids.

one evening i heard the two little girls who live in the house underneath me screaming their heads off, "mummy where are you im scared, mummy! mummy ! " "i want my daddy" they were sreaming so loudly that i had to go and see what was going on ... ( although i knew the parents would probably just have a go at me because they did that anyway and one of these little girls is terrified of me because im muslim and she says muslims arent real they are evil robots :scratch: wonder who told her that :rolleyes: )

anyway i couldnt ignore their screams anymore, maybe the house was on fire... i got another neighbour for back up, and turned out those little girls ( aged about 9 and 10 ) had been left alone while mum and dad had gone out for the evening it was 11pm and one of them was hysterical, the other one was too afraid to cry because she said her father will be angry with her, and she kept telling her sister to be quiet, the kid was shaking. left alone and too afraid to cry because of the beating she would recieve...even the one who used to be afraid of me ran into my arms to get a cuddle she was just sobbing :(

sadly as we talked to them at the door and tried to comfort them... the father came home... and promptly began shouting at them for crying ... and we had to scarper .. but if u report them to social services, then what they get put in care and most likely abused by some sicko. theres a lot of problems in the care homes with abuse by staff both physical, mental and sexual has happened at several childrens homes before and two freinds of mine, a brother and sister, were both badly abused for many years by care workers :( even when they caught scabies no one thought to see why a child was infected with this.... why werent his sheets changed and why wasnt he given clean clothes to wear....so whats better to be with parents like that, or to live a very lonely, and loveless existance in a childrens home... its not an option really. i just wonder if kids are better off with the parents even if they are complete imbecillles...

Such a sad story:rubeyes: :rubeyes:
I honestly think that people should have to pass a responsibility test before having children.. considering the number of teenage births.
I know that is unrealistic... since a lot of children nowadays are accidents (unfortunately).

[`asiya]

Such a sad story:rubeyes: :rubeyes:
I honestly think that people should have to pass a responsibility test before having children.. considering the number of teenage births.
I know that is unrealistic... since a lot of children nowadays are accidents (unfortunately).

u know akhi its not always teenagers that do stuff like this, it can be right across the board these people are in their late 30`s / early 40`s work in a bank, own 3 cars and a 4 wheel drive :rolleyes: ... also run a buisness from home... were not talking about some teenagers here ... its often those u least suspect.

Like these two who lost their little daughter maddie, they are in their late 30`s . Hes a surgeon and shes a doctor... i wonder if ur average 19 year old single parent had left her kids asleep alone in a hotel room to go out for dinner, and her child went missing ...wether she would be getting audiences with the pope and have the support of the press... i doubt it somehow...

[meer]

Such a sad story:rubeyes: :rubeyes:
I honestly think that people should have to pass a responsibility test before having children.. considering the number of teenage births.I know that is unrealistic... since a lot of children nowadays are accidents (unfortunately).

wOW! RESPONSIBILITY TEST! before having childrens :rubeyes:
mashallah good Idea, atleast some childrens will not suffer due to irrenponsible parents.:up:

[Zaid the Great]

A very devout Roman Catholic guy I grew up with got married and had twelve kids...and his wife managed to get her degree in family psychology between #6 and #12!

I remember asking him how it all worked and he said that very quickly the kids start helping take care of the other kids.

I imagine that having twelve kids is probably no more difficult than having six. (Unless of course you consider all the food!)

my aunty has that many kids:o

[K h a l i l]

my aunty has that many kids:o

My grandma has 11 now mashallah... she used to have 14 :crying: :crying:

[bint]

I guess we won't know until the situation arises.

It's easy to say 'no we won't, and maybe that's what the parents of this little girl said when they didn't have children.
i think its fair to raise the point that we have maybe learnts a lesson with 'madelines case'?

[K h a l i l]

i think its fair to raise the point that we have maybe learnts a lesson with 'madelines case'?

Yeah.. my mum was just saying.. What the hell were they away from the kid for... That isn't responsible..

[bint]

Yeah.. my mum was just saying.. What the hell were they away from the kid for... That isn't responsible..
apparently they took turns to check on the kids evry half hr...so really i cant judge..there, but personally after reading this on the news, it taught me not to leave kids on their own.

[Zaid the Great]

apparently they took turns to check on the kids evry half hr...so really i cant judge..there, but personally after reading this on the news, it taught me not to leave kids on their own.

My great mind didnt need to be taught :rolleyes:

[ur_yusra]

If I had a child I wouldnt let him/her out of my sight.

[bint]

My great mind didnt need to be taught :rolleyes:
oh really? congratulations :p

[muslimah85]

If I had a child I wouldnt let him/her out of my sight.

too rite!!

http://img.shopping.com/cctool/PrdImg/images/pr/177X150/00/01/e8/7c/6b/32013419.JPG

http://thecorner.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/tgs_3_child_on_leash_at_tokyo_game_show.jpg






They'll be strapped in one of these till their 16 !

[perfectpearl]

As-Salam-Alikum,

It's good to have more childrens in family, because having one or two childrens in family will make all the happenes limited...:D

Actually we are only two bro & one & only one dear sister, but we miss each other's when we did'nt see ...and some time our home get empty If some of us are not at home, I think this all happening because of our more love & undustanding between us but allways missing other members on every good or bad time...

but Enshallah I must have more childrens so that my family will be big & so there will be no problem If some of our family member away from home...:hidban: :hidban:

Well i donno thats u! I got lots of sibling...and no not 10.. and i like being alone more. I like it when their kinda gone. Yes i do miss when their here but i do not regret it.

Its all about what kind of person you are and how you would want things. I think thats all.

A very devout Roman Catholic guy I grew up with got married and had twelve kids...and his wife managed to get her degree in family psychology between #6 and #12!

I remember asking him how it all worked and he said that very quickly the kids start helping take care of the other kids.

I imagine that having twelve kids is probably no more difficult than having six. (Unless of course you consider all the food!)

:rubeyes: Its a heck harder to raise 12 than 6! common sense says that they are double the trouble. when their babies...all that care. Toooooo much.

If people like to work hard and raise so much kids, then go ahead have a million kids!

I dont discourage it, but for me, I wouldn't encourage it.

[meer]

Well i donno thats u! I got lots of sibling...and no not 10.. and i like being alone more. I like it when their kinda gone. Yes i do miss when their here but i do not regret it.

Its all about what kind of person you are and how you would want things. I think thats all.

hi Pearl!
it's all about a releationship or person . But I personally feel that sibling are most Improtant from any other releation . Because even today when we get together we make lot of fun, & allways we all ready to secrifice anything for our sibling. I think my family is more important for me then any other thing from this world (Subanallah)

Well leaving alone is good for some time, but after that a person allways need some one to speak,chat,play,share or fight. & it's natural things for all people.:up:

[ghanamuslima]

not a child under the age of 10, i think thats a bit irresponsible.

[MG]

not a child under the age of 10, i think thats a bit irresponsible.


i would leave no child under 14yrs (or 16yrs) alone. I think it is very easy for people to judge parents, evenmoreso wen they dont have children of their own.

I personally wouldnt have left the children alone in a strange country /place but how many of us actually think this will happen to us? how many wouldthink that, someone is going to get into our hotel room?

its a sad situation. There are times when i have been in certain situations and have been tempted to leave the child alone for 5 mins while i run to teh shop or run to the house a few doors down but im not the kind to think "it wont happen to me" and feel it is jus not worth it doing so.

Sometimes kids dont have to be left alone, they can be with u and go missing, look what happened to poor james bulger :(

i know i have been in shops and within seconds my lil one is hiding somewhere, the amount of times i have found him under coat racks and inside bottoms of dresses in stores, cos he is playing a "game" with me, they really are very fast.

It was supposed to happen to this child Allah swt had decreed it, doesnt matter if the paretns had done this IF the parents had done that, if is word of shaytaan. It is Allah's decree.

[meer]

I think today's parents are more responsible then before generation parents.
But normally when I was small my mother some time leave me alone for 3 to 4 hours when she went to our releative house.& once women gatter one place finish they will forget every thing even childrens :D

I dont want enshallah to leave my childrens alone unless it must require. (Enshallah)

[.: Anna :.]

i would leave no child under 14yrs (or 16yrs) alone. I think it is very easy for people to judge parents, evenmoreso wen they dont have children of their own.

I personally wouldnt have left the children alone in a strange country /place but how many of us actually think this will happen to us? how many wouldthink that, someone is going to get into our hotel room?

its a sad situation. There are times when i have been in certain situations and have been tempted to leave the child alone for 5 mins while i run to teh shop or run to the house a few doors down but im not the kind to think "it wont happen to me" and feel it is jus not worth it doing so.

Sometimes kids dont have to be left alone, they can be with u and go missing, look what happened to poor james bulger :(

i know i have been in shops and within seconds my lil one is hiding somewhere, the amount of times i have found him under coat racks and inside bottoms of dresses in stores, cos he is playing a "game" with me, they really are very fast.

It was supposed to happen to this child Allah swt had decreed it, doesnt matter if the paretns had done this IF the parents had done that, if is word of shaytaan. It is Allah's decree.

good point sis:

It is authentically reported on the authority of Abu Hurairah (swt ) that the Messenger of Allah (saas ) said: "Seek what benefits you, and seek help only from Allah (swt ) and do not lose heart. If any adversity comes to you, do not say: "If I had only acted in such-and-such a way, it would have been such-and-such;" but instead, say: "Allah (swt ) has decreed (it) and what He willed, He has done," for verily, (the word) (if) opens the way for the work of Satan."

[heaven2002]

yes but on the other hand remember the saying about tying your camel and also putting trust in Allah, but there are some things Allah has decreed which no amount of precautions can stop

[$HugoBoss$]

I'll train them to be a lone, i'll train them to be warriors at a very young age so they can overcome any direct threat to them :badguy:

[THE PATH 2]

yes but on the other hand remember the saying about tying your camel and also putting trust in Allah, but there are some things Allah has decreed which no amount of precautions can stop

true/.. and a wise statement ...all encompassing

ultimately one must do their utmost in life for safety and security

after that ..allah is STILL the ultimate DOER:lailah:

[dhakiyya]

yes but on the other hand remember the saying about tying your camel and also putting trust in Allah, but there are some things Allah has decreed which no amount of precautions can stop

the camel thing is about taking precautions for what *could* happen in the future. Bascially you can't ask Allah to protect your car if you leave the door open and the key in the ignition. On the other hand if Allah decrees that your car will be stolen then it will be even if its locked with the best car alarm, immobiliser, steering lock etc.

Allah answers duas - but if you make dua for Allah to protect your car, and then leave the keys in the ignition and the windows open - well Allah isn't likely to answer your dua........ Allahu alim

[dhakiyya]

I'll train them to be a lone, i'll train them to be warriors at a very young age so they can overcome any direct threat to them :badguy:

so your three year old is left alone and a grown man comes to snatch him........ how's he supposed to defend himself? Even a twelve or thirteen year old boy would have a job defending himself against a grown man determined to hurt him, even if he know how to fight.

Yes you should teach your kids how to overcome threats to them, but that is not done by leaving them alone, scared, unprotected.

[$HugoBoss$]

Parents are to soft on their kids these days, thats why they end up being sissys. It's the truth, you gotta make the boys rough and tough so one day if the call for jihad comes, they'll be on the front line, not crying "i want my mommy"

I'm going to put them in wrestling and karate at a very early stage.....

[perfectpearl]

I'll train them to be a lone, i'll train them to be warriors at a very young age so they can overcome any direct threat to them :badguy:

Parents are to soft on their kids these days, thats why they end up being sissys. It's the truth, you gotta make the boys rough and tough so one day if the call for jihad comes, they'll be on the front line, not crying "i want my mommy"

I'm going to put them in wrestling and karate at a very early stage.....

They are just kids :rolleyes:

[$HugoBoss$]

They are just kids :rolleyes:

Yeah but they gotta be strong from the start, i don't want my child to turn out a mommas boy sucking a pacifier all day long. They gotta learn to defend themselves at a young age, my nephew is 7 years old and my sister enrolled him in karate class already.

[perfectpearl]

Yeah but they gotta be strong from the start, i don't want my child to turn out a mommas boy sucking a pacifier all day long. They gotta learn to defend themselves at a young age, my nephew is 7 years old and my sister enrolled him in karate class already.

Its great if they have a talent or learn self defense but you just have to remeber they are kids. They still have to depend on "mommy"!

[$HugoBoss$]

Its great if they have a talent or learn self defense but you just have to remeber they are kids. They still have to depend on "mommy"!

No they shouldn't have to depend on their mommys, thats the whole point :rolleyes:

[perfectpearl]

No they shouldn't have to depend on their mommys, thats the whole point :rolleyes:

I wonder how ur kids will turn out :rolleyes:

[Lambo5688]

Kids gotta be enrolled in karate the day they were born. We have to raise little Bruce Lees! That way they can take on 30 kidnappers at the same time, by the time they are 7 years old.

[Maureen]

I would never leave toddlers alone, but maybe 11/12 year olds for awhile, but not for long.

[$HugoBoss$]

Kids gotta be enrolled in karate the day they were born. We have to raise little Bruce Lees! That way they can take on 30 kidnappers at the same time, by the time they are 7 years old.

I'm with you, karate kick the doc as soon as the baby is born and than fly into daddys hands, that would be sweet :hidban:

[MG]

I'll train them to be a lone, i'll train them to be warriors at a very young age so they can overcome any direct threat to them :badguy:

ur gonna train your kids to beat Allah's decree :rubeyes: ????

[nadous]

Yeah but they gotta be strong from the start, i don't want my child to turn out a mommas boy sucking a pacifier all day long. They gotta learn to defend themselves at a young age, my nephew is 7 years old and my sister enrolled him in karate class already.

Karate/judo/tae kwon do is a good sport , not only for Jihad.... It help to learn discipline and respect... And in those course they learn to never use if not need it... They can control their agressivity and nervosity... It shouldn't be use for fight or war in non-necessary time... They can get in trouble if they do so.

[$HugoBoss$]

Karate/judo/tae kwon do is a good sport , not only for Jihad.... It help to learn discipline and respect... And in those course they learn to never use if not need it... They can control their agressivity and nervosity... It shouldn't be use for fight or war in non-necessary time... They can get in trouble if they do so.

Yeah your right every child should be trained for self defence, use force when necessary.

[.: Anna :.]

yes but on the other hand remember the saying about tying your camel and also putting trust in Allah, but there are some things Allah has decreed which no amount of precautions can stopim not saying because everything is down to Allah's will then just leave them alone!! :smack: I'm just posting the hadith to remind its not correct for anyone to talk in the way of "if only they did this then it wont have happened" etc, and cos MG mentioned similiar 2 the content of the hadith :)

[heaven2002]

^^^yes i know u wasnt saying that:-) ur much too sensible sis
but i was just reminding everyone that although everything is already written we still have choices to make

[$HugoBoss$]

^^^yes i know u wasnt saying that:-) ur much too sensible sis
but i was just reminding everyone that although everything is already written we still have choices to make

Yeah but whatever choices you make it's already written, so you don't really have free will????

[heaven2002]

you do have free will its just that as Allah knows everyhting he already knows what choices ur going to make
correct me if im wrong
Allah knows best