Quick question regarding Polygamy

[Kal-El]

I'm sure its been mentioned before and discussed, but is a wife able to divorce her husband on the sole basis that he marries another woman - thus she is heart broken and does not want to share her husband with any woman. She argues her marriage is unhappy and therefore is her right to divorce.

Is this Islamically valid or not?
Thanks

[OBL]

Dont the husband have to take the wifes permission before he takes a 2nd wife.

[Kal-El]

From what I know, No.

[Kal-El]

This is turning out to be the wost thread. Ever :rolleyes:

Can someone answer me please?

[Kal-El]

I'm asking on behalf of someone and she said "For Allah never permitted man to marry four wives for sexual satisfaction".

How do I reply?

[Al-ghurabah]

that is not a valid shariah reson for divorce.. he should concult her before.. for resons she may htink he is commiting adultry etc.. but does not need his permission

[Abu Baraa]

Was telling a friend of mine who happens to be a psychologist that maybe i might practise polygamy in the future and he was like ur a monogamous brother don't fake it,imagine that.

[ur_yusra]

Unless he violates her rights - does not give her equal time etc..

..then she has no grounds to divorce him since polygony is something that Allah (swt) has allowed and if she has qualms about it she should take it up with Allah (swt) which is something she surely wouldn't do..

[umm_yusuf]

Dont the husband have to take the wifes permission before he takes a 2nd wife.

Islamically, a husband does not need his wife's permission to take a second or third wife as

1. Allah has already given him the right in the Qur'an.

2. There is no hadeeth or narration that informs us of the Rassul (:saw:) or the sahaba asking their wives for permission to take on another wife so it is not from the sunnah to ask for permission rather it exposes him to be a man of weak charater and resolve. Allah knows best.

A man does not need to tell his wife that he has gotten married again because there is a hadeeth where Aishah (Raddiyallahu 'anha) was walking with a plate of food and she saw the Rassul (:saw:) talking to a woman and she got upset and threw the food on the floor because she thought he had married her. Also Ahmad Shakir a great mufti in Egypt had two wives but his first wife only found out about the second wife after the death of their husband. So islamically he doesn't have to tell his wife that he has gotten married again.

But it is better to tell his wife that he wants to get married again because she might be able to give him good advice if she is of those who are God-Fearing and he can talk her through her fears and her insecurities Insha Allah. Also, for practical reasons, it is better to inform his wife of his decision as it will make it easier to be fair such as days and money sharing and so on.

[mizfissy815]

Unless he violates her rights - does not give her equal time etc..

..then she has no grounds to divorce him since polygony is something that Allah (swt) has allowed and if she has qualms about it she should take it up with Allah (swt) which is something she surely wouldn't do..

Unless she indicates it in the Nikkah that is.

If she clearly states in the Nikkah agreement that she doesn't want to be part of a polygamous marriage or that he must ask for her permission and her husband violates that agreement, she has the right to ask for a divorce.

[Songbird]

Muslim women have rights upon entering a marriage.

And we are entitled to a marriage contract - actually my Sheikh highly recommends one.

If you've stipulated "No more wives in your contract" [which by the way I'm against] and he violates the contract, then yes she can divorce.

Muslimahs should really get their acts together *before* they marry.

Sheesh, it ain't hard.

[mizfissy815]

Muslim women have rights upon entering a marriage.

And we are entitled to a marriage contract - actually my Sheikh highly recommends one.

If you've stipulated "No more wives in your contract" [which by the way I'm against] and he violates the contract, then yes she can divorce.

Muslimahs should really get their acts together *before* they marry.

Sheesh, it ain't hard.

Thank you.

I say this everywhere, every Muslim and Muslimah (but particularly the latter) MUST know they're obligations and rights before the Nikkah. You should know what is expected of you and what is Islamically appropriate for you expect. You should know what right Allah(swt) has blessed you with and although some may try to 'legally' forfeit these rights(through constant pressure), 'islamically(according to the sharia)' no legal document or otherwise can over-ride what Allah(swt) has blessed you with and such an agreement is void and null.

[umm_yusuf]

I wholeheartedly agree with all the posts here mentioning the issue of getting a contract done and Alhamdulillah, it is most definately a blessing from Allah.

I follow the opinion however that a woman is not allowed to put a condition in her contract that her husband is not allowed to take a second wife if he chooses to do so. Reason being that:

1. This is something that Allah has legislated and so a woman cannot demand her husband not to exercise his rights that Allah has given him.

2. It is not known from the sunnah that any woman put this as part of her contract so it is something foreign to the sunnah and Allah knows best.

3. It is completely useless to do so as I will explain below.

For arguement sake, lets say that this is allowed and the woman puts it in her contract that she does not want her husband to practise polygamy and he agrees to this condition. sisters, only three types of men would accept this - a dumb man, a man who is really in love with you or someone who wants to play you. Lets hope its the second Insha Allah.
A few years down the line he decides that he wants to marry a second wife. The woman in this situation has two choices:

1. Go to a qadi and get a divorce based on breach of contract.

2. Have patience and stick with the marriage.

These are the same two choices she would have if she didn't put this in her contract so really and truly what would be the point? Shouldn't we (women) instead work on our naffs and try to rectify and train our hearts to love that which Allah loves and according to some mufassirin Allah has given a preference to?

[Songbird]

Nice post ukht.

[Supernova Nebula]

Although I'm not into polygamous marriage, personally I will not include the condition in the marriage contract.

[Barracuda]

I'm sure its been mentioned before and discussed, but is a wife able to divorce her husband on the sole basis that he marries another woman - thus she is heart broken and does not want to share her husband with any woman. She argues her marriage is unhappy and therefore is her right to divorce.

Is this Islamically valid or not?
Thanks

From Islamic Shariah point of view the wife is in error and her claim is invalid.

[Barracuda]

Dont the husband have to take the wifes permission before he takes a 2nd wife.
A husband is neither required nor obligated to seek his 1st wife's permission for 2nd/3rd or 4th wife.

[Barracuda]

I'm asking on behalf of someone and she said "For Allah never permitted man to marry four wives for sexual satisfaction".

How do I reply?

O' yes a man can marry more than one wife for sexual satisfation.

Surah Ar-Rum 21
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.

Summary of the reasons allowing Polygyny in Islaam:

(1) Taqwa (A God-fearing attitude).
(2) Preservation of Vigor.
(3) Even in case of disagreement divorce is avoided.
(4) A wife may be effete-incapable of producing offspring.
(5) In some countries, or families, there is a surplus of female children.
(6) War, famine, or any other reason can cause gender misbalance that often results in more male mortality than female, as it is always the case.
(7) Political expediency.
(8) A woman does not remain generally fertile after fifty years of age while a man in fertile at 90+ years of age.
(9) Adultery is very common in those countries where it is not allowed to marry more than one wife.
(10) Some men have higher sexual appetite and single wife can’t satisfy them.

[Barracuda]

I wholeheartedly agree with all the posts here mentioning the issue of getting a contract done and Alhamdulillah, it is most definately a blessing from Allah.

I follow the opinion however that a woman is not allowed to put a condition in her contract that her husband is not allowed to take a second wife if he chooses to do so. Reason being that:

1. This is something that Allah has legislated and so a woman cannot demand her husband not to exercise his rights that Allah has given him.

2. It is not known from the sunnah that any woman put this as part of her contract so it is something foreign to the sunnah and Allah knows best.

3. It is completely useless to do so as I will explain below.

For arguement sake, lets say that this is allowed and the woman puts it in her contract that she does not want her husband to practise polygamy and he agrees to this condition. sisters, only three types of men would accept this - a dumb man, a man who is really in love with you or someone who wants to play you. Lets hope its the second Insha Allah.
A few years down the line he decides that he wants to marry a second wife. The woman in this situation has two choices:

1. Go to a qadi and get a divorce based on breach of contract.

2. Have patience and stick with the marriage.

These are the same two choices she would have if she didn't put this in her contract so really and truly what would be the point? Shouldn't we (women) instead work on our naffs and try to rectify and train our hearts to love that which Allah loves and according to some mufassirin Allah has given a preference to?
Excellent post, having said that, in any contract based on any law, especially the Divine Law; one cannot stipulate someting unlawful into that contract, which in fact amends that legal precedence. The Ayah is explicit and very clear as we read:

Surah An-Nisaa 3
فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ
…marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four;

[Supernova Nebula]

Barracuda akhi, your posts depress me:o

[ibnKathir27]

WOW

this is the first post about polygamy where it hasn't immediatly decended into male vs female.

I await the arrival of the femminists......

[Ebony]

Its a saturated topic.

[ayaat]

Shouldn't we (women) instead work on our naffs and try to rectify and train our hearts to love that which Allah loves and according to some mufassirin Allah has given a preference to?


That wasn't the question. The question was whether a Muslimah has a right to divorce if her husband takes another wife? And the answer to that is simply, yes.

For some reason we as Muslims feel we have the right (or perhaps a false obligation) to tell others what they have to put up with in areas where Allah nor His nabi (sallallahu aalyhee wa sallam) did. We make it hard on one another when Allah ta'ala has said that the believers are merciful with another. We inflict hurtful judgements upon another when we know it is Allah alone who is the Al Haakim. Surely we are living in a sad state of affairs for the Muslims.

The best person to know what is going on in their marriage is the man and woman in that marriage. We all know (or should know) that polygyny is halaal for the Muslim man to practice, but no one can say that it is waajib for the Muslimah to be apart of or stay within polygyny. Allah nor his nabi (sallallallahu alyhe wasallam) never made it mandatory on us (Muslim women). So polygyny is the right of the Muslim man and the choice of Muslim women.

Some Muslim women will choose to stay in a marriage when their husband's have decided to take another wife. May Allah reward them both and grant them all success.

Yet, some Muslim women will choose to leave the marriage (for a myriad of reasons usually; all valid to her own worth and well being) if their husband chooses to take on more wives. May Allah reward her (as it certainly can't be an easy decision) and grant her success and a spouse better suited for her.



Tafseer Ibn Katheer

But if they separate (divorce), Allah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His bounty. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Wise. )

This is the third case between husband and wife, in which divorce occurs. Allah states that if the spouses separate by divorce, then Allah will suffice them by giving him a better wife and her a better husband. The meaning of,
[ظˆظژظƒظژط§ظ†ظژ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‘ظژظ‡ظڈ ظˆظژط³ظگط¹ط§ظ‹ ط*ظژظƒظگظٹظ…ط§ظ‹]
(And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for His creatures' needs, All-Wise.) is: His favor is tremendous, His bounty is enormous and He is All-Wise in all His actions, decisions and commandments.

[umm_yusuf]

Asalaamu 'alaikum ya ukhti Ayaat,

I think you misunderstood my point. My post was not an answer to the question posed previously but rather it was an approval of the post above mine. My intention was never to pass judgement upon muslims and if this is what is implied in my previous post then I seek forgiveness from Allah first and foremost then from my brothers and sisters.

My comment was not aimed at individual cases but rather I was making a general observation. I was merely stating the fact that sisters should reconsider their stance on the issue of polygamy in general. I wasn't arguing with the validity or legitimacy of them seeking divorce rather I was stating that in both cases (whether they choose to stay or not), they would be in effect "losing out" so to speak. It is better for us to try and be accepting of the issue of polygamy.

I am not trying to deny that some men, transgress the limit or perhaps are unjust and in this case or similar cases then Alhamdulillah, divorce might be the better option. However in the case whereby you have a good husband and your only issue is that of polygamy then isnt it better to be patient and be more accepting in the hope of gaining reward from Allah?

If a woman chooses divorce and marries another man and then he decides to practise polygamy, will she again run to divorce? How many times would she do this because remember ukhti the rights of the man is still unaffected.

[Barracuda]

Barracuda akhi, your posts depress me:o
I wonder why?:scratch:

[Honey87]

Islamically, a husband does not need his wife's permission to take a second or third wife as

1. Allah has already given him the right in the Qur'an.

2. There is no hadeeth or narration that informs us of the Rassul (:saw:) or the sahaba asking their wives for permission to take on another wife so it is not from the sunnah to ask for permission rather it exposes him to be a man of weak charater and resolve. Allah knows best.

A man does not need to tell his wife that he has gotten married again because there is a hadeeth where Aishah (Raddiyallahu 'anha) was walking with a plate of food and she saw the Rassul (:saw:) talking to a woman and she got upset and threw the food on the floor because she thought he had married her. Also Ahmad Shakir a great mufti in Egypt had two wives but his first wife only found out about the second wife after the death of their husband. So islamically he doesn't have to tell his wife that he has gotten married again.

But it is better to tell his wife that he wants to get married again because she might be able to give him good advice if she is of those who are God-Fearing and he can talk her through her fears and her insecurities Insha Allah. Also, for practical reasons, it is better to inform his wife of his decision as it will make it easier to be fair such as days and money sharing and so on.

if marriage is meant to be a public thing...surely he has to atleast tell his wife doesnt he?:scratch:

[Kubs]

As far as I know, it is a valid reason to divorce someone.

[ayaat]

they would be in effect "losing out" so to speak. It is better for us to try and be accepting of the issue of polygamy.



Waleykum as salaam,

The above again is an example, whether that was your niyya or not, of passing judgement. It's isn't my right to tell another sister that she is losing out by making a halal decision. You're not married to her husband; you don't spend time with him, you don't have relations with him- you don't know another woman's husband. The best person to come to a decision about their marriage, is the brother and sister involved in the marriage. And that is the right that Allah, who is the Most Forebearing and Merciful, has giving His slaves.

Another thing that we should be mindful of is kibr, pride, as it is Allah who knows who is best amongst us. It's another judgement call to assume that a sister who isn't comfortable with polygyny for herself isn't accepting of polygyny in general as sanction by Allah. Polygyny is halal and sanctioned by Allah, but Allah didn't make it waajib for the Muslimat to be apart of.

However in the case whereby you have a good husband and your only issue is that of polygamy then isnt it better to be patient and be more accepting in the hope of gaining reward from Allah?

It is a sister's choice given to her by Allah to be apart of polygyny or not. A Muslimah is no better for choosing to be apart of polygynous marriage than she is for not choosing to be in one. The type of marriage we choose to be in isn't what counts, what counts is how we are able to behave in the marriage. Pleasing the husband, raising the children upon what's good, saving personal time for ibadah, and doing good deeds is what counts. If you can do that in a monagamous marriage, Alhamdulilah. If you can do that in a polygynous marriage, Alhamdulilah. The actions that we are able to make consistently is what brings about the ajr and earns Allah favor.

If a woman chooses divorce and marries another man and then he decides to practise polygamy, will she again run to divorce? How many times would she do this because remember ukhti the rights of the man is still unaffected.


Who is to say that Allah wouldn't give her a husband who is content with one wife? We read the ayaat, but how much faith do we really have in Allah's words that something as simple as providing a suitable spouse seems undoable? Is not Allah alone the One who answers that dua of His slaves? And does not Allah command the believers to ask of Him?

The believers are hopeful with yaqeen. Allah has the ability to provide all that we need and want and yes, all we have to do is ask for it. We ask Allah, keep away from sinning and remain patient for Him to fulfill our prayers.

Perhaps, a sister may be tested with several marriages that end due to her not being able to deal with polygyny. What's wrong with that? Islamically, she isn't sinning, not being able to deal with polygyny is a valid reason for divorce, as polygyny can affect intimacy, chasity (lack of time with your husband), self esteem (in some women) as well as many couples finances, etc. Is it wrong for the sister to continue to trust in Allah and hope for a mate that she is able to find the comfort and support from that she needs? The husband is the only outlet that a Muslimah has for her desires, and Allah made it so that she has the right to get the match that she finds solace in.

[umm_yusuf]

if marriage is meant to be a public thing...surely he has to atleast tell his wife doesnt he?:scratch:

I think you are getting two issues confused ukhti, :)

Take a scenario like this Insha Allah,

Lets say a man from...Africa who lives in the UK with his wife decides to go back to his home country and get married. If he is over there, the marriage will be public and since his first wife is over here, she may not necessarily be aware of the proceedings.

From a shar'i perspective, he is not sinful because he does not need to tell his wife of this aspect of his affairs.

However, looking at it practically, then it is better that the tells her because if she was to find out that he got married, then it might create unnecessary fitnah.

I hope this is clear Insha Allah:up:.

[umm_yusuf]

Asalaamu 'alaikum ukhti Ayaat,

You speak about not passing judgement yet you have twice implied that my niyya might not be correct. Alhamdulillah.

I think you have completely misunderstood my point or perhaps I wasn't clearer in them and Allah knows best. I do not wish to be engaged in a debate with you on an issue that we both feel passionately about so I'll end it here Insha Allah with the greeting words of Jannah :salams

[ayaat]

You speak about not passing judgement yet you have twice implied that my niyya might not be correct. Alhamdulillah.



Laa, I didn't question your niyya at any time, ukti. I merely pulled out and showed you your own statements and how such statements ("loosing out, be more accepting of polygamy, will she again run to divorce") can be received by your sisters in faith. And some times it's necessary for all of us to see how our words are being perceived by our sisters and brothers so that we don't unintentionally turn they away from something good.

This is a discussion about something halal. In halal matters Muslims have choices and we should feel comfortable choosing the best choice for ourselves without scrutiny from others because Allah has given us the choice.

Alhamdulilah ala kulli hal, khalas bas.... jazakeeAllahu khyr ukhti umm yusuff.

[Barracuda]

Laa, I didn't question your niyya at any time, ukti. I merely pulled out and showed you your own statements and how such statements ("loosing out, be more accepting of polygamy, will she again run to divorce") can be received by your sisters in faith. And some times it's necessary for all of us to see how our words are being perceived by our sisters and brothers so that we don't unintentionally turn they away from something good.

This is a discussion about something halal. In halal matters Muslims have choices and we should feel comfortable choosing the best choice for ourselves without scrutiny from others because Allah has given us the choice.

Alhamdulilah ala kulli hal, khalas bas.... jazakeeAllahu khyr ukhti umm yusuff.
So, in a nutshell "Umm Yusuf's" behavior and choices requires your approvel?

Why?

[Tahiyah]

may Allah (swt) make it easy on all muslims in polygyny. its a huge Jihad of the naffs for sisters. May they all be rewarded for this Jihad. amin.

may the brothers in polygyny be blessed with patience..:up:

[ayaat]

So, in a nutshell "Umm Yusuf's" behavior and choices requires your approvel?

Why?


No, of course not, Mashallah. She is actually free to behave and make the choices she she wishes to make and Allahutala is the best of Judges. The only things that Allah requires of the believers is to reminder one another and enjoy the good and forbid the evil.


The questioner of this thread simply asked was it permissible for a woman to seek a divorce if a husband takes another wife. If you read her responses, I think you will from where mind came...as a reminder of the real topic, the choices that has given us as Muslims.

[Nasibah]

Seriously ukhti, you shouldn't be so tense in your approach!!

Umm Yusuf hasn't said that sisters aren't able to seek divorce if they aren't happy with the situation (polygamy).

However, she seems to be inclined towards the idea accepting polygamy rather then seeking divorce based on it.

But this is HER choice and :insha: may :allah: make it a good choice for her. Immense reward in gained through sabr.

:insha: lets approach people with the correct adhab. Perhaps, then and only then, we'd become more successful in conveying our message.

[umm_yusuf]

Ok Ayaat,

Firstly, I have been nothing if not civil towards you throughout my comments yet you have chosen to attack me and make assumptions about my intentions.

I didn't want this to escalate in to an arguement so I decided to let the matter drop but you wouldn't.

The questioner of this thread simply asked was it permissible for a woman to seek a divorce if a husband takes another wife. If you read her responses, I think you will from where mind came...as a reminder of the real topic, the choices that has given us as Muslims.

It seems you are reading my posts with a narrow minded view. You just seem to want to take out what you can in order to attack me. I told you in my reply to you that my post was not directed at that question (the original question) but was aimed at the comment above my post yet you chose to ignore that and carried on attacking me.

My post was not an answer to the question posed previously but rather it was an approval of the post above mine.

If you have a problem with polygamy that's your issue but I don't see any reason why you should approach me in a rude manner with weak arguements.

[Barracuda]

No, of course not, Mashallah. She is actually free to behave and make the choices she she wishes to make and Allahutala is the best of Judges. The only things that Allah requires of the believers is to reminder one another and enjoy the good and forbid the evil.
Please tell me something that I don't know. What the red part of text has to do with issue in hand? How you are here enjoying the good and forbiding the evil? By controlling her choice you are forbiding the evil, but where is evil?


The questioner of this thread simply asked was it permissible for a woman to seek a divorce if a husband takes another wife. If you read her responses, I think you will from where mind came...as a reminder of the real topic, the choices that has given us as Muslims.
Your English is too good to me, thus, I have no clue what you are saying, especially the red text.

[ayaat]

Seriously ukhti, you shouldn't be so tense in your approach!!

Umm Yusuf hasn't said that sisters aren't able to seek divorce if they aren't happy with the situation (polygamy).

However, she seems to be inclined towards the idea accepting polygamy rather then seeking divorce based on it.

But this is HER choice and may make it a good choice for her. Immense reward in gained through sabr.

lets approach people with the correct adhab. Perhaps, then and only then, we'd become more successful in conveying our message.


I'm not tensed, but perhaps my writing styled has been perceived like that and I appologize sincerely.

I have certainly understood quite well the sister's stance on the issue. I was in no way critizing HER choice on the matter. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given her the right to make that choice and I support it 100%. What I was trying to express was the other choice that Allah has permitted out His rahma for OTHER sisters to choose as well. Tayyib.

I don't see where I've not had correct adab. I used her own statements regarding sisters who make a halal choice to leave a marriage that they no longer find beneficial. That's all.

It really isn't all that serious, but if I've offended you or any other board members in my approach, I appologize. May Allah forgive me and may you all as well.

salaam

[ayaat]

If you have a problem with polygamy that's your issue but I don't see any reason why you should approach me in a rude manner with weak arguements.



Ouch! lol, Mashallah ;) . I don't have a problem with polygyny. Alhamdulilah. I've only stated the rights that Allah and His nabi (sallallahu alyhee wa sallam) have given His servants.

And I only continued, not to anger you, but because someone else (barracuda, sp??) asked for clarification, Mashallah. Otherwise, I had already said all that I wanted on the topic. As I have already written you privately, I will say publically, I appologize for upsetting or offending you and getting off to a rather strained start on the boards. May Allah forgive me and may you all as well. Jazakumallahu khyran.

Your English is too good to me, thus, I have no clue what you are saying, especially the red text.


It was a typo! Sorry for being human.

salaam.

[umm_yusuf]

Jazzakallahu Khair ukhti Ayaat and as I said to you, we are all always arguing with each other, no one takes it personally Insha Allah ;)

[Songbird]

may Allah (swt) make it easy on all muslims in polygyny. its a huge Jihad of the naffs for sisters. May they all be rewarded for this Jihad. amin.

Ameen!

may the brothers in polygyny be blessed with patience..

Lol, ameen :D

[Honey87]

I think you are getting two issues confused ukhti, :)

Take a scenario like this Insha Allah,

Lets say a man from...Africa who lives in the UK with his wife decides to go back to his home country and get married. If he is over there, the marriage will be public and since his first wife is over here, she may not necessarily be aware of the proceedings.

From a shar'i perspective, he is not sinful because he does not need to tell his wife of this aspect of his affairs.

However, looking at it practically, then it is better that the tells her because if she was to find out that he got married, then it might create unnecessary fitnah.

I hope this is clear Insha Allah:up:.

yea, i totally understand, but... even though it is halal that he is married, when i meant public, i meant it's not something he hides. Say with the example u gave, yea, everyone in africa knows when he goes there, but what about people in the uk, it may be his personal business, but he is not being public here in the uk. if u get what i mean?

ahh....this is confusing.

[umm_yusuf]

yea, i totally understand, but... even though it is halal that he is married, when i meant public, i meant it's not something he hides. Say with the example u gave, yea, everyone in africa knows when he goes there, but what about people in the uk, it may be his personal business, but he is not being public here in the uk. if u get what i mean?

ahh....this is confusing.

Oh I see what you are saying.

There are two issues here.

1. Would he be sinning if he didn't tell his wife that he is getting married again? The answer is no.

2. But if she finds out because of course marriages should be public so she is bound to find out sooner or later. The answer is due to this reason, then it is BETTER to tell her before the proceedings to avoid her finding out from somewherelse and it causes fitnah in your marriage.

Does that make sense. I'm confusing myself as well. lol.

[ayaat]

From my knowledge there is a difference of opinion (iktilaaf) regarding the issue of annoucing marriages.


The husband doesn't need his wife's permission to get married. But once he is married she *should* be amongst the people that he annouces it to, i.e. his family, as his family has a right to know that he has wed because these are the people that he interacts with and if they were to see him out with a unknown woman shubahaat would enter their mind as to his dealings with the unknown woman. Again, when we speak about family, the first of a man's family is his wife. And this is one opinion. I find it just and closer to taqwa and rahma that Allah instructs the believers to have with another.

Could you imagine the shock of a wife being intimate with her husband and finding out a day later that he's been intimate with another woman within the same week that she knows absolutely nothing about? Of course, his relations has all been halal, but the emotional fitna of secrets like that has destroyed many Muslim families.

With so many Muslim divorcess it is just time for all Muslims to act smarter. Act honest and have honest actions. Theres lots of sisters more than willing to engage in polygyny so lying and deceiving simply isn't necessary in my book.

[me.sawda]

It's Quran which says Marry only ONE
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
( Al Quran4:3)
Moreover practicising polygamy is Mubah( permissable) and not obligatory or encouraged as In Quran there is:
Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire:(Quran4:129)
So one who chooses for polygamy chooses either this practice w/o knowing now-a-days or moreover they never can just between wives.
Well, Our prophet ( saw) didn't hide it from his wives that he had married why would men will hide it isn't it because they are cowards to reveal truth/ to do injust between wives?

[umm_yusuf]

[COLOR="DarkOrange"]Moreover practicising polygamy is Mubah( permissable) and not obligatory or encouraged as In Quran there is:
Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire:(Quran4:129)

Ukhti are you sure about what you have said above? I ask because from my understanding and from the Sheikhs I have spoken to regarding this topic, they have mentioned that the Qur'an does not make polygamy permissible but rather prefers it over monogamy.

This is evident from the lives of the Rassul |(:saw:), his sahahba (Raddiyallahu 'anhum ajma'in) and the pious predecessors (May Allah have mercy on them all). Most of them had more than one wife. If it was merely permissible then they would have had only one wife. Allah knows best.

Also from my understanding the ayah you have quoted to back up your point has a different tafsir to what you have stated. The tafsir of fairness here implies that a man cannot be fair in terms of who his heart will be inclined to (i.e who he loves). The fairness in the first ayah (4:03) refers to fairness which he can control such as his time spent with them, money given to them and so on. The Rassul (:saw:) was the most God - Fearing of all men and he used to make the du'a "Oh Allah make me fair in that which I can control (his time, money and such as mentioned above) and that which I cannot (his love)".

Also Allah will not place two verses that seem in contradiction unless the verses have different explanations or one of the verses is abbrogated (like in the case of the prohibition of alcohol). In this case, neither verses are abrogated so this means that they must have different explanations and this is confirmed in the sunnah from the du'a I mentioned above.

I could be wrong and if I am then Insha Allah please provide evidence for your tafsir so that we can all benefit from it Insha Allah.

Jazzakallahu Khair;) .

[me.sawda]

Ukhti are you sure about what you have said above? I ask because from my understanding and from the Sheikhs I have spoken to regarding this topic, they have mentioned that the Qur'an does not make polygamy permissible but rather prefers it over monogamy.

This is evident from the lives of the Rassul |(:saw:), his sahahba (Raddiyallahu 'anhum ajma'in) and the pious predecessors (May Allah have mercy on them all). Most of them had more than one wife. If it was merely permissible then they would have had only one wife. Allah knows best.

Also from my understanding the ayah you have quoted to back up your point has a different tafsir to what you have stated. The tafsir of fairness here implies that a man cannot be fair in terms of who his heart will be inclined to (i.e who he loves). The fairness in the first ayah (4:03) refers to fairness which he can control such as his time spent with them, money given to them and so on. The Rassul (:saw:) was the most God - Fearing of all men and he used to make the du'a "Oh Allah make me fair in that which I can control (his time, money and such as mentioned above) and that which I cannot (his love)".

Also Allah will not place two verses that seem in contradiction unless the verses have different explanations or one of the verses is abbrogated (like in the case of the prohibition of alcohol). In this case, neither verses are abrogated so this means that they must have different explanations and this is confirmed in the sunnah from the du'a I mentioned above.

I could be wrong and if I am then Insha Allah please provide evidence for your tafsir so that we can all benefit from it Insha Allah.

Jazzakallahu Khair;) .

:aku_salam: brother in Islam
Barakallah feeki

Definition of Polygamy

Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"marry only one".

The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife
Qur’an permits limited polygyny

As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."

[Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:

"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...." [Al-Qur’an 4:129]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

i. ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory

ii. ‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

iii. ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

iv. ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

v. ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.
I've Quoted it from Dr. Zakir Naik. He's a very famous Scholar worldwide:D
Allah Knows best and he'll judge us within our niyah( intention )

[umm_yusuf]

^^^ Alhamdulillah. Jazzakallahu Khair for that.

ps - I'm a sister :)

[*hayat*]

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

i. ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory

ii. Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

iii. ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

iv. ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

v. ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

thanks for above, sorry for going off the topic a quick question,
where does reading sunnah in prayer falls? is it ‘Mustahab’ or fard and sinful not to read?

[Abandoned-Mind]

In 'I'lam al-Muwaqqi'in,' Ibn al-Qayyim has a few sections discussing the wisdom in Islamic polygyny, which serve to strengthen one's conviction in the wisdom of the Shari'ah in regards to one of its most controversial aspects.

First, he addresses the wisdom in limiting the number of wives specifically to four:

"...so, this is from the completeness of His blessing and Shari'ah, and is in accordance with His wisdom, mercy, and benefit for His servants. This is because one of the purposes of marriage is sexual intercourse and the fulfillment of one's desire, and from the people are those who are overtaken by their desire, and are not satisfied with one. So, He allowed him a second, third, and fourth one (i.e. three additional wives)...and the Legislator has attached numerous rulings to this number (three), as He has allowed the migrant to remain in Makkah for three days after completing his rituals, and allowed the traveller to wipe over his footwear for three days, and made the preferred length of hosting a guest to be three days..."

He then goes on to explain the wisdom in allowing multiple spouses for the man, in exclusion to the woman:

"...this is from the completeness of the Wisdom of the Exalted Lord, and His goodness and mercy towards His servants, and His taking their interests into account, and He is Exalted above doing anything other than this, and His Shari'ah is far from coming with other than this. If it was allowed for the woman to have two or more husbands, the world would be ruined, and progeny would be lost, and the husbands would end up killing each other, and a crisis would ensue, and the fitnah would become severe, and war would erupt. And how can the affair of the woman remain firm when she has bickering partners? And how can the affair of these partners themselves remain firm? So, the coming of the Shari'ah with what it came with of opposition to this is from the greatest of proofs of the wisdom, mercy, and consideration of the Legisator.

So, if it is said: how can the interests of the man be taken into account, with his being able to marry whom he wants, fulfill his desire, and move from one woman to the next in accordance with his desires and needs - all while the needs of the woman are just like his needs, and the desires of the woman are just like his desires?

We answer: since it is the nature of the woman to be concealed behind the walls and hidden in the depths of her home, and her moods are cooler than that of the man, and her outer and inner movements are less than his movements, and the man has been given strength and intensity that leads his desire more so than with the woman, and he has been tested with what she has not been tested with, he is granted the choice of having multiple spouses that is not available to the woman. This is from what Allah has set aside exclusively for the male, and has preferred for them over women, just as He has preferred for them Messengership, Prophethood, Khilafah, kingship and leadership, governance, Jihad, etc. over women. Also, He has made men to be guardians over women, traversing about for the purpose of looking after their best interests, constantly on the lookout for means of sustaining them, encountering dangers, and exposing themselves to all types of hardships in the path of doing what is best for their wives. So, the Exalted Lord is Thankful and Forbearing, and He thanks them for this, and has compensated them by instilling for them what He did not instill for their wives.

And if you compare the fatigue, hardship, and efforts of the man in fulfilling the interests of the women with what the women have to endure of jealousy, you would find that the man's share of having to endure this fatigue, hardship, and effort is much greater than what the women have to endure of jealousy..."

He continues:

"As for the one who says that the desire of the woman is even more than that of the man, this is not the case. The driving force behind the desire is fervor (lit. heat). So, where is the fervor of the woman in comparison to the fervor of the male? The woman - because of her free time, slowness, and absence of what will keep her busy from the fulfillment of her desire - might be overtaken by her desire, and will not find that which would oppose it. Rather, it finds a heart and soul free from distraction. So, it is able to instill itself within her to the utmost, resulting in one assuming that her desire is multiple times that of the man, and this is not the case.

And from that which proves this is that if a man has intercourse with his wife, he can have intercourse with other women in the same time frame, and the Prophet used to go around to all of his wives in a single night, and Sulayman went to 90 women in a single night, and it is known that with each woman, he displays desire and fervor that drives him to have intercourse. The woman, on the other hand, if the man fulfills his desire with her, she becomes exhausted, and does not seek to fulfill her desire with any additional man within that time frame.

So, the wisdom of of the Decree, Legislation, Creation, and Command is implemented, and praise is for Allah."

['I'lam al-Muwaqqi'in'; 2/64-66]

JazakaAllaah khayr to the brother for the post.

[nuur000]

[CENTER]well it is true that the husbend does not need or have to tell his wife about other marriege BUT.... I refuise to bolive that Allah will not give us rights to make disition regarding our lifes . man do not thik like us and they will never think like us, some men take things to the extrime to what makes them happy forgeting that they are married to humans, and think that we have to sit and sufer. I think that yes they do have the right to do it , but we also have the right to stay or to let go....

[Raziel]

[CENTER]well it is true that the husbend does not need or have to tell his wife about other marriege BUT.... I refuise to bolive that Allah will not give us rights to make disition regarding our lifes . man do not thik like us and they will never think like us, some men take things to the extrime to what makes them happy forgeting that they are married to humans, and think that we have to sit and sufer. I think that yes they do have the right to do it , but we also have the right to stay or to let go....


If a Brother decided to Marry another Muslimah, it's not your Life that is concerned with the marriage itself, therefore you have no right to prevent him, unless you mentioned it as an agreement in the Marriage contract itself...

The Condition placed upon the brothers who are capable of marrying more than one Muslimah, is that he does everything in his power to do Justice to them all...

The Limited polygyny allowed by Allah is the only practical Solution to the Over Population of Women across the world...

:jkk:

[Kal-El]

If a Brother decided to Marry another Muslimah, it's not your Life that is concerned with the marriage itself, therefore you have no right to prevent him, unless you mentioned it as an agreement in the Marriage contract itself...

The Condition placed upon the brothers who are capable of marrying more than one Muslimah, is that he does everything in his power to do Justice to them all...

The Limited polygyny allowed by Allah is the only practical Solution to the Over Population of Women across the world...

:jkk:

What happens if they all put it in their contract something to prevent them being a 2nd wife?

[Raziel]

What happens if they all put it in their contract something to prevent them being a 2nd wife?


they are permitted to do that bro ...

although if everyone did that, then that means there will be Millions of Women who won't find Husbands...(because of surplus Women) ...

If you got a Solution then lets hear it...

:jkk:

[Kal-El]

they are permitted to do that bro ...

although if everyone did that, then that means there will be Millions of Women who won't find Husbands...(because of surplus Women) ...

If you got a Solution then lets hear it...

:jkk:

I don't have a solution, but the positive side to it - as you can see by that particular scenario - can be diminished.

If it came down to that, it would be up to her. Marry a man who probably has another wife, or stay single for the rest of your life. I'm sure most would marry then.

[`asiya]

they are permitted to do that bro ...

although if everyone did that, then that means there will be Millions of Women who won't find Husbands...(because of surplus Women) ...

If you got a Solution then lets hear it...

:jkk:

Allahu alam there are two opinions on this matter, some madhabs say u can put his in as a condition in a marriage contract, others scolars say no u cant because firstly u cannot make forbidden for someone what Allah ta ala has made halal.

secondly. a woman who claims she wants to divorce if her husband remarries comes under the one who asks her husband for divorce ( khula) without good reason, as Allah has permitted a man to marry up to four times if he can afford it, and so asking for a divorce if he does so is not a good reason, according to the hadiths " a woman who asks for khula without good reason will not smell the frangrance of al Jannah" and another hadith saying that such women are hypocrites.


Narrated Abu Huraira, The Prophet said, "Those who seek Khula without any reason are hypocrites." (sahih Ahmad)

Narrated Thoban , The Prophet said: "If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odor of Paradise will be forbidden to her." (sahih Abu Dawud)

so Allahu ta ala alam i personally do not beleive due to the hadiths, and ayats of Allah ta ala allowing remarriage up to four times for a man, that it is permissible for a woman to demand that her husband does not remarry,or to seek a divorce if he does, as Allah ta ala has made it permissible for men and of benefit to the ummah, and the sahabiyat may have been jelous but they never ever disagreed with being co-wives they never hated it, they never forbade it for their husbands, they never complained about being co-wives they just got on with it, and dealt as best they could with their jelously. i think we should do the same insha Allah and follow their example.

[Abandoned-Mind]

Allahu alam there are two opinions on this matter, some madhabs say u can put his in as a condition in a marriage contract, others scolars say no u cant because firstly u cannot make forbidden for someone what Allah ta ala has made halal.

secondly. a woman who claims she wants to divorce if her husband remarries comes under the one who asks her husband for divorce ( khula) without good reason, as Allah has permitted a man to marry up to four times if he can afford it, and so asking for a divorce if he does so is not a good reason, according to the hadiths " a woman who asks for khula without good reason will not smell the frangrance of al Jannah" and another hadith saying that such women are hypocrites.


Narrated Abu Huraira, The Prophet said, "Those who seek Khula without any reason are hypocrites." (sahih Ahmad)

Narrated Thoban , The Prophet said: "If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odor of Paradise will be forbidden to her." (sahih Abu Dawud)

so Allahu ta ala alam i personally do not beleive due to the hadiths, and ayats of Allah ta ala allowing remarriage up to four times for a man, that it is permissible for a woman to demand that her husband does not remarry,or to seek a divorce if he does, as Allah ta ala has made it permissible for men and of benefit to the ummah, and the sahabiyat may have been jelous but they never ever disagreed with being co-wives they never hated it, they never forbade it for their husbands, they never complained about being co-wives they just got on with it, and dealt as best they could with their jelously. i think we should do the same insha Allah and follow their example.

Al-Bukhaari (5273) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Thaabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.”

According to Ibn Maajah (2056) she said: “I cannot stand him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Question:
Is it possible for the wife to get a khula even if the husband will not agree to it? Can you mention some reasons ?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

I put this question to our Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen, and he answered as follows:

1.

If a woman dislikes her husband’s treatment of her – for example, he is over-strict, hot-tempered or easily-provoked, or gets angry a lot, or criticizes her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming, then she has the right of khula’ [female-instigated divorce].
2.

If she dislikes his physical appearance because of some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties is missing, she has the right of khula’.
3.

If he is lacking in religious commitment – for example, he doesn’t pray, or neglects to pray in jamaa’ah, or does not fast in Ramadaan without a proper excuse, or he goes to parties where haraam things are done, such as fornication, drinking alcohol and listening to singing and musical instruments, etc. – she has the right of khula’.
4.

If he deprives of her of her rights of spending on her maintenance, clothing and other essential needs, when he is able to provide these things, then she has the right to ask for khula’.
5.

If he does not give her her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste because he is impotent (i.e. unable to have intercourse), or because he does not like her, or he prefers someone else, or he is unfair in the division of his time [i.e., among co-wives], then she has the right to ask for khula’.

And Allaah knows best.

Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen

Mentioned these in regards to women and divorce, rather than in relation to polygamy.

[`asiya]

Al-Bukhaari (5273) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Thaabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.”

According to Ibn Maajah (2056) she said: “I cannot stand him.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.



Mentioned these in regards to women and divorce, rather than in relation to polygamy.

look this is a valid reason for asking for a divorce, she cannot have relations with him anymore, and so she was therefore afraid of comitting kufr by disobeying her husband, as mentioned in shaikh jibreens explanation, he does not anywhere in the fatwa u posted mention being allowed to ask for a divorce simply because u dont want your husband to re-marry. That explanation he gave is in relation to getting khula from the qadhi when the husband refuses to issue a khula and for what reasons it maybe valid in asking for khula.

[Abandoned-Mind]

look this is a valid reason for asking for a divorce, she cannot have relations with him anymore, and so she was therefore afraid of comitting kufr by disobeying her husband, as mentioned in shaikh jibreens explanation, he does not anywhere in the fatwa u posted mention being allowed to ask for a divorce simply because u dont want your husband to re-marry. That explanation he gave is in relation to getting khula from the qadhi when the husband refuses to issue a khula and for what reasons it maybe valid in asking for khula.

Read my last line sister, I didn't post it in relation to polygamy.

[`asiya]

Read my last line sister, I didn't post it in relation to polygamy.

ah ok u were just giving some of the reasons that a woman may ask for a khula :jkk: masha Allah its better those hadith are explained, because many take it to mean that she divorced him for no reason which was not the case, and if it were then it would of course make the other hadiths controdictory and there is no contradiction in Islam as we know Allah ta ala has perfected our religion for us Alhamdulillah. :up:

[tux08902]

Dont the husband have to take the wifes permission before he takes a 2nd wife.

Yes, he does, according to my Imam. Now, I realize that goes against what others have said in this thread.

[Abu Mus'ab]

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:

i. ‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory

ii. Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged

iii. ‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed

iv. ‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged

v. ‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden

thanks for above, sorry for going off the topic a quick question,
where does reading sunnah in prayer falls? is it ‘Mustahab’ or fard and sinful not to read?
It's actually like this,

1: Fardh

2: Waajib

3: Sunnah Muakkadah

4: Sunnah Ghair Muakkadah

5: Mustahab

6: Mubah

7: Makrooh Tanzihi

8: Makrooh Tahrimi

9: Haraam

[Abu Mus'ab]

Yes, he does, according to my Imam. Now, I realize that goes against what others have said in this thread.
Well then your Imam is wrong *Roll Eyes*

[Raziel]

Yes, he does, according to my Imam. Now, I realize that goes against what others have said in this thread.

Only if the Current Wife made it a condition in her Marriage Contract, otherwise he doesn't need her permission...

:jkk:

[Raziel]

I don't have a solution, but the positive side to it - as you can see by that particular scenario - can be diminished.

yep, but the permission to prevent the Husband from marrying again (having it as a condition in Marriage contract) is also given ...

If it came down to that, it would be up to her. Marry a man who probably has another wife, or stay single for the rest of your life. I'm sure most would marry then.

my point precisely...



:jkk:

[shamson]

Only if the Current Wife made it a condition in her Marriage Contract, otherwise he doesn't need her permission...

:jkk:


Oh yeah I was talking to a sister about this today. She said some sisters are known to make this part of their contract that her husband may not take a 2nd wife (although this is his right in islam and you are making haraam for him somthing that is halal) BUT if he agrees to this term then later unless his wife says so he can't marry a 2nd time coz the contract and it's conditions are the reason why the man was allowed access to the woman (intimacy) and that their is no expiry date for the contract.

[ur_yusra]

Oh yeah I was talking to a sister about this today. She said some sisters are known to make this part of their contract that her husband may not take a 2nd wife (although this is his right in islam and you are making haraam for him somthing that is halal) BUT if he agrees to this term then later unless his wife says so he can't marry a 2nd time coz the contract and it's conditions are the reason why the man was allowed access to the woman (intimacy) and that their is no expiry date for the contract.

Interesting..

So what does this contract look like?

Can you put things like.. 'you must do the dishes everyday.. must wash your own clothes, cook your food and mine..' etc etc.. in it?

[Kal-El]

Can you put things like.. 'you must do the dishes everyday.. must wash your own clothes, cook your food and mine..' etc etc.. in it?

I think most men nowdays are open to this :up: You don't need a contract. Personally I'll never sign one of these.

[Al-Irhaab]

It's Quran which says Marry only ONE
If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
( Al Quran4:3)
Moreover practicising polygamy is Mubah( permissable) and not obligatory or encouraged as In Quran there is:
Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire:(Quran4:129)
So one who chooses for polygamy chooses either this practice w/o knowing now-a-days or moreover they never can just between wives.
Well, Our prophet ( saw) didn't hide it from his wives that he had married why would men will hide it isn't it because they are cowards to reveal truth/ to do injust between wives?

that second ayah is in reference to love not in reference to treating them equally in regards to their rights. and according to other ulema an explanation to the muslims that they should make effort as much as possible and not to expect perfection.. you need to learn about tafseer before trying to post ayahs which you dont know what they are talking about...

according to the arguement your using allah *swt* is saying marry more than once if you cant treat them equally and then telling us that you cant treat them equally thus meaning you can only marry once... yet despite this the majority of the sahaba *Ra* married multiple times as did the prophet *Saw*

[Al-Irhaab]

Oh yeah I was talking to a sister about this today. She said some sisters are known to make this part of their contract that her husband may not take a 2nd wife (although this is his right in islam and you are making haraam for him somthing that is halal) BUT if he agrees to this term then later unless his wife says so he can't marry a 2nd time coz the contract and it's conditions are the reason why the man was allowed access to the woman (intimacy) and that their is no expiry date for the contract.

close but not totally accurate according to the view that the woman is allowed to stipulate in her nikah contract that the husband doesnt marry again... in this situation he still has the right to marry again but if he does then the woman has the option to get khula based on the contract.... that in no way makes it haram for him to marry again all it means is that potentially she can divorce him without hassle...

[Raziel]

Oh yeah I was talking to a sister about this today. She said some sisters are known to make this part of their contract that her husband may not take a 2nd wife (although this is his right in islam and you are making haraam for him somthing that is halal) BUT if he agrees to this term then later unless his wife says so he can't marry a 2nd time coz the contract and it's conditions are the reason why the man was allowed access to the woman (intimacy) and that their is no expiry date for the contract.

actually this is Permissible, sis... and yes the sis who does that would be preventing her husband from talking another Muslimah as a Wife, but the Husband would have agreed to this in the Marriage Contract, so he can't complain either...

It does not Make it Haram sis, it only prevents(or it should do...) the Husband to be from marrying another Muslimah while he's already married...

In a similar fashion, the Mehr/Dowry is agreed upon (could be a large sum, or a small sum etc...) that does not mean we go claiming that it is haram to ask for a large sum etc... because this is a Mutually agreed upon sum, and likewise so is the Marriage Contract ...

there is no Expiry date for the Marriage Contract so long as the current Wife is alive, if I am not mistaken...

:jkk:

[`asiya]

actually this is Permissible, sis... and yes the sis who does that would be preventing her husband from talking another Muslimah as a Wife, but the Husband would have agreed to this in the Marriage Contract, so he can't complain either...

It does not Make it Haram sis, it only prevents(or it should do...) the Husband to be from marrying another Muslimah while he's already married...

In a similar fashion, the Mehr/Dowry is agreed upon (could be a large sum, or a small sum etc...) that does not mean we go claiming that it is haram to ask for a large sum etc... because this is a Mutually agreed upon sum, and likewise so is the Marriage Contract ...

there is no Expiry date for the Marriage Contract so long as the current Wife is alive, if I am not mistaken...

:jkk:


bro it is permissible according to some, u should bring the daleel as to why this is permissible in your opinion insha Allah.

because i really do not understand why any woman would want to accept fatawa allowing a woman to make the halal, haram for her husband, because all excuses aside thats exactly what she is doing..

so those who say its permissible can they also put womans generals whims in the contract u know now can a woman also make a marriage contract making it haram for her husband to eat lamb and mustard while he is married to her ? or how about making it haram for him to drink orange juice,eat peanuts or take a swim while hes with her.. can she make anything that is allowed by Allah haram by a contract ? how about making it forbidden for him to go out of the house from the hours of 9- 4 on a sunday i mean hey lets not just make it forbidden to have another wife lets go the whole way make him a whole list of permissible stuff that he cant do cos he married some selfish woman...

I thought only Allah ta ala states what is haram and halal, and making it a condition of marriage that the halal is forbidden to a man makes no sense at all.

[Raziel]

bro it is permissible according to some, u should bring the daleel as to why this is permissible in your opinion insha Allah.

It';s not my opinion sis, I couldn't give a hoot about my opinion in such matters...

this is what I heard from Scholars, dunno the Daleel... sis... I therefore open to Correction...

because i really do not understand why any woman would want to accept fatawa allowing a woman to make the halal, haram for her husband, because all excuses aside thats exactly what she is doing..

You can ask the sisters who do this, as I'm a bro, I can't answer for something I would never do...


so those who say its permissible can they also put womans generals whims in the contract u know now can a woman also make a marriage contract making it haram for her husband to eat lamb and mustard while he is married to her ? or how about making it haram for him to drink orange juice,eat peanuts or take a swim while hes with her.. can she make anything that is allowed by Allah haram by a contract ? how about making it forbidden for him to go out of the house from the hours of 9- 4 on a sunday i mean hey lets not just make it forbidden to have another wife lets go the whole way make him a whole list of permissible stuff that he cant do cos he married some selfish woman...

I heard nothin about Whims, Only that a Women has the right to Stipulate this (ME Hubby's mine only...) in the Marriage contract...

and I agree it's selfish...


I thought only Allah ta ala states what is haram and halal, and making it a condition of marriage that the halal is forbidden to a man makes no sense at all.

Allah and His Messenger :saw: (as he has given him authority) state what is Halal/Haram, as Allah Allah says...

AL-Quran, Chapter 59 : Verse 7
-------------------------------
"So take what the Messenger assigns to you, and deny yourselves that which he withholds from you. And fear Allah; for Allah is strict in Punishment."

:jkk:


...

[`asiya]

sah akhi but u see my point insha Allah :up:

if ur going to try and make ir haram on your husband to remarry its like asking him to not eat meat or something, what he does with his own self within the permissible bounds set by Allah ta ala, is up to him, it is not his wifes place to make it haram upon him and threaten him with conditions.

[Raziel]

sah akhi but u see my point insha Allah :up:

if ur going to try and make ir haram on your husband to remarry its like asking him to not eat meat or something, what he does with his own self within the permissible bounds set by Allah ta ala, is up to him, it is not his wifes place to make it haram upon him and threaten him with conditions.

I agree sis ... :o

:jkk:

[aisha2007]

Why does the issue of poligamy rear its head so often here?
Poligamy is Sunnah.....so is there really an argument to have? Is there anyone here who has the audacity to say they know better than ALLAH?
Subhanallah.
I would hope I am sufficient for my husband, however, if he came to me with a genuine reason for marrying another sister, and could treat us both equally then I would not stand in his way. I would hope that by following the laws set down to us by Allah Subhanawat'Allah it would somehow assist me on the road to Jennah.
As for stating in the marriage contract that your husband cannot take a second wife....who are you to put that constrait on someone, and on a law given as HALAL to the Ummah by the Creator???????