similar or opposite?

[ibn suleman]

is it better for the husband and wife to be similar or do opposites attract?

[Al-ghurabah]

wow another thread in marraige section by ibn..

[Ebony]

Similar in temperament. Opposite in everything else.

[ze leetle elper]

Opposite in temperament :p Otherwise you would have two hotheads constantly arguing or two chilled out people and with nothing being done!!

[ibn suleman]

wow another thread in marraige section by ibn..

:p

Similar in temperament. Opposite in everything else.

so it wouldnt matter if u shared no interests???

Opposite in temperament :p Otherwise you would have two hotheads constantly arguing or two chilled out people and with nothing being done!!

woudnt that make it fun :D

[RaNdOm]

:salams

i think oppo... if ma husb was like me... :rubeyes: :vomit:

[urban_rose]

I think maybe similar, but im not too sure :D

[Zesty]

Similarly opposite or oppositely similar! :D :hidban:

LOL- its good to have some similarities surely- you have things in common, you can relate- you can enjoy those likes together. Yet its nice to be somewhat opposite too. Makes the marriage more interesting and fun.
I think temperaments should be similar though. unless one is very strong/has alot of sabr and can put up with the other. (for example, hot headed husband who has a wife who can handle it and calm him down- or vice versa) :D

[RaNdOm]

I think maybe similar, but im not too sure :D

:salams

similar means he'd be a girl pants :fairy:

[urban_rose]

:salams

similar means he'd be a girl pants :fairy:

:eek: a pansy??!! no way! i go for opposite then :D ;)

[RaNdOm]

:eek: a pansy??!! no way! i go for opposite then :D ;)

:salams

:up: :D :D :D :D :D wise choice

although... i would want him to have the same kinda sense of humour... and that... is gonna be very hard :rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

opposite

[miss-ali]

How many marriage threads is that now Ibn suleman :scratch:... :p

[Redmist]

Opposite........makes it more lively :D

[Medievalist]

How many marriage threads is that now Ibn suleman :scratch:... :p

:rotfl:

ALLAH have mercy on him SOOOOON - ameen :hidban:

[Redmist]

:rotfl:

ALLAH have mercy on him SOOOOON - ameen :hidban:

ameen.

[Noor]

bith of both - cos then it strikes some sort of balance.... there's no point being completely opposite cos u won't find anything to unite u in ur marriage and if u're too like then ur marriage is gonna be boring and perdictable.

need to have some things similar and some things different.

[Abu Muslim]

Fatty and Skinny were in bed, fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.



Moral of the story: not always best to be opposite, some people could get killed.

[Zesty]

Ameen :)

[RaNdOm]

Fatty and Skinny were in bed, fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.



Moral of the story: not always best to be opposite, some people could get killed.




:salams

fatty and fatty were in bed, fatty rolled over and off popped his head

moral of the story: too much similarity can be dangerous

[OBL]

like repel, opposited attract.

[.: Anna :.]

bith of both - cos then it strikes some sort of balance.... there's no point being completely opposite cos u won't find anything to unite u in ur marriage and if u're too like then ur marriage is gonna be boring and perdictable.

need to have some things similar and some things different.yeh similiar in some, opposite in some!

if u both have all the same strengths and weaknesses not all that great, better if one is strong in something that the other isnt so then there is someone 2 get it done! but similiar in sense of humour, interests, what u enjoy doing.. some of that can make it nicer 2 spend time 2gta

[MMS]

if he was the same as me, he'd be perfect, and perfect doesnt exist :(

[Zesty]

if he was the same as me, he'd be perfect, and perfect doesnt exist :(

:rofl1: oohh well.. such is life eh! you deal with the cards youre dealt :p

[ibn suleman]

How many marriage threads is that now Ibn suleman :scratch:... :p

:o
lost count :D

:rotfl:

ALLAH have mercy on him SOOOOON - ameen :hidban:

ameen


ima gonna take that at face value ;)

bith of both - cos then it strikes some sort of balance.... there's no point being completely opposite cos u won't find anything to unite u in ur marriage and if u're too like then ur marriage is gonna be boring and perdictable.

need to have some things similar and some things different.

:up:

[sunrise]

As salam ou lakoum

In my personal view being practising muslims is similarity enough, the other things you can just work around and learn from each other..broadening your horizons :up:

[Zesty]

As salam ou lakoum

In my personal view being practising muslims is similarity enough, the other things you can just work around and learn from each other..broadening your horizons :up:

:) thats actually veru interesting and ALhamdullilah i think i'd agree with you to an extent. I was just thinking about my parents actually and realised that theyre not very similar in personality or likes/dislikes (infact my sister and i are more or less like one or the other parent), but it seems its basic principles, a certain foundation that unites them rather than whether they like the same food or what not.

[muslimah85]

Opposite in temperament :p Otherwise you would have two hotheads constantly arguing or two chilled out people and with nothing being done!!
Very true!

I'm hot headed, hence he should be calm and peaceful, i get carried away, let him be rational, I'm always chatting, let him listen Inshallah :D. Oppposites is good. Two like minded people tend to stay the same forever. Opposites live and learn from each other Mash'Allah! :inlove:

BUT APART FROM THAT the only one I want to be similar on is the fact that i'm organised and always making lists etc and like things in order(please Allah let him be organised!!!! :smack:)

[sunrise]

:) thats actually veru interesting and ALhamdullilah i think i'd agree with you to an extent. I was just thinking about my parents actually and realised that theyre not very similar in personality or likes/dislikes (infact my sister and i are more or less like one or the other parent), but it seems its basic principles, a certain foundation that unites them rather than whether they like the same food or what not.


yeah exactly, i mean for me the only issues i can ever see and future hubby inshAllah having would be deen related as in if one wasn't practising etc but i mean if he was an I.T Technition or an astronaut i don't think it would matter one bit...

Alhamdulilah my interests are very varied so i think whatever he was into i would find interesting except maybe if it was Art but that's because i'm not any good at it..lol but i'd still try atleast

I think it's wrong to pick someone purely on interests because you could match with someone whose interests and personality was diffferent jsut as well as someone who had the same.

Back in Secondary school i had one mate who was the TOTAL opposite of me and people always used to ask her and me how we could be mates but it worked...

[MMS]

:rofl1: oohh well.. such is life eh! you deal with the cards youre dealt :p

okay *humble mode*
i think he should be slightly different to make up for the things i lack
hang on i dont lack anything though :$

[sunrise]

okay *humble mode*
i think he should be slightly different to make up for the things i lack
hang on i dont lack anything though :$


yes MMS i think that's very true and lovely coming from u:inlove: especially as u can so sinister sometimes but i know your lovely really mashAllah teh true you shines occasionally:o

Anyways yeah that would be nice, but we can't pick and choose i mean i have known people who have rejected proposals because the guy was too nice:eek: ..she wanted someone who she could argue with she didn't want someone who didn't stand up for themselves....:torture:.... maybe they would but with ethir wife they choose to be kind..i thought that was a good thing???!!??

[Zesty]

yeah exactly, i mean for me the only issues i can ever see and future hubby inshAllah having would be deen related as in if one wasn't practising etc but i mean if he was an I.T Technition or an astronaut i don't think it would matter one bit...

Alhamdulilah my interests are very varied so i think whatever he was into i would find interesting except maybe if it was Art but that's because i'm not any good at it..lol but i'd still try atleast

I think it's wrong to pick someone purely on interests because you could match with someone whose interests and personality was diffferent jsut as well as someone who had the same.

Back in Secondary school i had one mate who was the TOTAL opposite of me and people always used to ask her and me how we could be mates but it worked...


:) yep agree with you. If you get on with the person thats all that matters. Its usually the ones you cant even talk to for like 5 mintues that you shouldnt really be considering in my opinion.
Human beings are very adaptable, if we are open to new challenges and learning new things (experience will do that to us any way most probably) then i dont see why there should be a set criteria for what we look for- im sure we can adjust and discover what we do appreciate and what we dont.

IN terms of interests and hobbies- lol, theyre still 2 different people. Just because i like art (just thought id use your example) ;) loll. doesnt mean he shoudl be interested. Sure it would be nice if he wanted to accompany me to the art gallery.. butheck even my sister wont come with me :p In the same way, if he liked fishing or something (zzz) i might go along and see what its about but doesnt mean i'd go again if i didnt like it :p

My best mate and i are totally opposite :) but yet ssooo similar in our basic beliefs. Another friend is ssoo similar- its just the way it is.

[sunrise]

:) yep agree with you. If you get on with the person thats all that matters. Its usually the ones you cant even talk to for like 5 mintues that you shouldnt really be considering in my opinion.
Human beings are very adaptable, if we are open to new challenges and learning new things (experience ill do that to us any way most probably) then i dont see why there should be a set criteria for what we look for- im sure we can adjust and discover what we do appreciate and what we dont.

IN terms of interests and hobbies- lol, theyre still 2 different people. Just because i like art (just thought id use your example) ;) loll. doesnt mean he shoudl be interested. Sure it would be nice if he wanted to accompany me to the art gallery.. butheck even my sister wont come with me :p In the same way, if he liked fishing or something (zzz) i might go along and see what its about but doesnt mean i'd go again if i didnt like it :p

My best mate and i are totally opposite :) but yet ssooo similar in our basic beliefs. Another friend is ssoo similar- its just the way it is.


Yeah my mate back from college LOVVVED art, but to make her happy i used to tag along to the Tate and the Serpentine etc:zzz: lol

Just as she used to listen to my rambling about Geography and Climate etc hehe lol

[ibn suleman]

so u lot are saying it matters but it doesnt matter..
it make a difference but it doesnt...



and u lot wonder why i use :scratch: so often :p

[Zesty]

Yeah my mate back from college LOVVVED art, but to make her happy i used to tag along to the Tate and the Serpentine etc:zzz: lol

Just as she used to listen to my rambling about Geography and Climate etc hehe lol

:rofl1: aahh brings back such memories! I used to do the same.. rant on about paintings and what it represents to me blah blah (yes all that subjective, "that line in the middle of a blank canvas means this to me" lark, but i was on the receiving end of many a lectures on P2X receptors :D worked both ways! (oh, not that i studied art- its just an interest).

BTW- i love the serpentine! loll.. i like people watching in hyde park too :p :o

[Zesty]

so u lot are saying it matters but it doesnt matter..
it make a difference but it doesnt...



and u lot wonder why i use :scratch: so often :p

:smack: its good to have a balance! :p what do you think ibn suls? you always ask the questions but dont answer yourself :p

[ibn suleman]

:smack: its good to have a balance! :p what do you think ibn suls? you always ask the questions but dont answer yourself :p

if i had the answers..i wudnt ask the questions :o

[sunrise]

No i think the general consensus is it DOESN'T matter

[sunrise]

:rofl1: aahh brings back such memories! I used to do the same.. rant on about paintings and what it represents to me blah blah (yes all that subjective, "that line in the middle of a blank canvas means this to me" lark, but i was on the receiving end of many a lectures on P2X receptors :D worked both ways! (oh, not that i studied art- its just an interest).

BTW- i love the serpentine! loll.. i like people watching in hyde park too :p :o


yeah i prefer it to the Tate, Have you seen that hideous piece of Art work outside the tate building :o and the canteen area looks like something out of Doctor Who:o :o

[Zesty]

yeah i prefer it to the Tate, Have you seen that hideous piece of Art work outside the tate building :o and the canteen area looks like something out of Doctor Who:o :o

:rofl1: :rofl1: I dont live in London :o i only get the chance to go when i go on my random visits (and art galleries are usualyl alone) :p i dont even mind actually- its peaceful!
There's always hideous pieces of art works at some point or another! :rofl1: ever look at somethign and think "ookkk what on earth possessed you."

[Zesty]

if i had the answers..i wudnt ask the questions :o

Sometimes i think you dont even have the questions.,. let alone the answers! :p

[Eemaan]

opposite.

:coolsis: & :nerdbro: = :love: (inshallah)

more oppurtunities for patience, more oppurtunities for reward :love:

i like challenages :p

[sunrise]

:rofl1: :rofl1: I dont live in London :o i only get the chance to go when i go on my random visits (and art galleries are usualyl alone) :p i dont even mind actually- its peaceful!
There's always hideous pieces of art works at some point or another! :rofl1: ever look at somethign and think "ookkk what on earth possessed you."


You know what thought, and this is a firm believe of mines...i don't believe all artists are as 'inspired' or committed. Like sometimes i think they just thing i bet that would get me a few Bob and just draw or make anything.

I mean back in Art classes in year 7 i rememeber i was about to go sleep when i remembered i hadn't gone my art home work...i got a piece of A4 and peered across my room for 'inspiration' lol and look and my shrpner and just drew it and used different HB pencils to make different lines and shading and when i got to class he asked me what it was and i obviously hyped it up a bit and he was like

"Yess i see yes marvellous, i see you have put a lot of effort into this...and i got an A" :o :o

[ibn suleman]

Sometimes i think you dont even have the questions.,. let alone the answers! :p

lool...that explains the :scratch:

opposite.

:coolsis: & :nerdbro: = :love: (inshallah)

more oppurtunities for patience, more oppurtunities for reward :love:

i like challenages :p


lool how abt

:hidban: + :banbear:

[sunrise]

opposite.

:coolsis: & :nerdbro: = :love: (inshallah)

more oppurtunities for patience, more oppurtunities for reward :love:

i like challenages :p


what a lovely way of putting it...i'm loving this thread...people are actually letting their barriers down and aren't being so ANTI marriage and placing all the blame of Ibn Suleman or others who have been used as scapegoats.

[Zesty]

You know what thought, and this is a firm believe of mines...i don't believe all artists are as 'inspired' or committed. Like sometimes i think they just thing i bet that would get me a few Bob and just draw or make anything.

I mean back in Art classes in year 7 i rememeber i was about to go sleep when i remembered i hadn't gone my art home work...i got a piece of A4 and peered across my room for 'inspiration' lol and look and my shrpner and just drew it and used different HB pencils to make different lines and shading and when i got to class he asked me what it was and i obviously hyped it up a bit and he was like

"Yess i see yes marvellous, i see you have put a lot of effort into this...and i got an A" :o :o


:rofl1: :rofl1: fantastic! I did GCSE art- my god, my poor mum had to endure my mess for months! :D Shes ssooo glad i didnt carry on! (besides it took up too much time, esp cos i had os much to do- all the time).

I agree! Some stuff ive seen its like "serious, did his 5 year old daughter draw that." I dont get it.. its not real art and it doesnt evoke any spirit/emotions in me whatsoever. Clearly art is subjective so maybe it worked for someone else.. but some stuff is just cack :p

[sunrise]

:rofl1: :rofl1: fantastic! I did GCSE art- my god, my poor mum had to endure my mess for months! :D Shes ssooo glad i didnt carry on! (besides it took up too much time, esp cos i had os much to do- all the time).

I agree! Some stuff ive seen its like "serious, did his 5 year old daughter draw that." I dont get it.. its not real art and it doesnt evoke any spirit/emotions in me whatsoever. Clearly art is subjective so maybe it worked for someone else.. but some stuff is just cack :p


Definatley, i mean islamic art and sences of nature i find are beautiful mashAllah, and i don't hate it at all but i just am not very good at it. But it's good to nuture your talent. I remember at my school GCSE Art was 80% Bengali lol, mashAllah they have some talent and have u seen their handwritiing WOW i'd pass them just for that, i think it's an asian thing mashAllah

[ibn suleman]

hey no one puts the blame on me...do they :p

[Zesty]

Definatley, i mean islamic art and sences of nature i find are beautiful mashAllah, and i don't hate it at all but i just am not very good at it. But it's good to nuture your talent. I remember at my school GCSE Art was 80% Bengali lol, mashAllah they have some talent and have u seen their handwritiing WOW i'd pass them just for that, i think it's an asian thing mashAllah

Yes without a doubt subhanAllah there is some amazing Islamic art out there :)
Well, i wish i had more time to nuture the "talent" :p (of what little ihave.. hey i can use a paintbrush very well thankyou) but i guess its not even time.. im just not as into it as i used to be.
LOL! another one who likes good handwriting? :D

[sunrise]

Yes without a doubt subhanAllah there is some amazing Islamic art out there :)
Well, i wish i had more time to nuture the "talent" :p (of what little ihave.. hey i can use a paintbrush very well thankyou) but i guess its not even time.. im just not as into it as i used to be.
LOL! another one who likes good handwriting? :D


love it:inlove: mines can be quite unfortunate if i don't put effort into it, actually comes to think of it it's a bit unfortunate looking even when i do try lol but alhamdulilah readable

[Zesty]

love it:inlove: mines can be quite unfortunate if i don't put effort into it, actually comes to think of it it's a bit unfortunate looking even when i do try lol but alhamdulilah readable

hahahaha that bad huh! :D I go through phases, sometimes my handwrting is amazing.. im like "woaahh who wrote that," and then other times its like "woah.. what theheckers does that say." :D

[sunrise]

hahahaha that bad huh! :D I go through phases, sometimes my handwrting is amazing.. im like "woaahh who wrote that," and then other times its like "woah.. what theheckers does that say." :D


yeah, all i can say is as long as the examiner can read it i don't care, oh don't get me started on exams i don't know how i passed, they musta felt sorry for me lol..

i had astrexis pointing to different places, arrows here and there lol

[Zesty]

yeah, all i can say is as long as the examiner can read it i don't care, oh don't get me started on exams i don't know how i passed, they musta felt sorry for me lol..

i had astrexis pointing to different places, arrows here and there lol

IM just glad im past the exams part ;) the only thing my examiners will be checking will be typed up- so no worries about handwriting inshaAllah :D
Some of the rubbish i wrote in my essays though- they must have felt sorry for me toooo :D

[ibn suleman]

talk abt off topic :p

[Zesty]

talk abt off topic :p

:p well you got your answers! what more do ya want!

[sunrise]

:p well you got your answers! what more do ya want!

lol

IM just glad im past the exams part ;) the only thing my examiners will be checking will be typed up- so no worries about handwriting inshaAllah :D
Some of the rubbish i wrote in my essays though- they must have felt sorry for me toooo :D

I know oh well let's hope it works for the future inshAllah:up:

[Nazias]

so u lot are saying it matters but it doesnt matter..
it make a difference but it doesnt...

and u lot wonder why i use :scratch: so often :p

You know what, me and my husband used to be so different before, not in everyway but in terms of our way of thinking etc and now Alhumdulillah, we're like two peas in a pod! :D... basically what I'm saying is the more time you spend together, the stringer the bond becomes and similarities begin to come out! :up:

[ibn suleman]

You know what, me and my husband used to be so different before, not in everyway but in terms of our way of thinking etc and now Alhumdulillah, we're like two peas in a pod! :D... basically what I'm saying is the more time you spend together, the stringer the bond becomes and similarities begin to come out! :up:

masha'Allah



so now the consesnsus is that it doesnt matter :scratch:

[Nazias]

masha'Allah

so now the consesnsus is that it doesnt matter :scratch:

I don't think it should! If someone is a good person and has taqwa then Alhumdulillah! and Insha'allah, you can work on the rest together! :up:

[ibn suleman]

I don't think it should! If someone is a good person and has taqwa then Alhumdulillah! and Insha'allah, you can work on the rest together! :up:

:up:

ok will stick with that..unless sumone comes with a different view and its :scratch: again

[Nazias]

:up:

ok will stick with that..unless sumone comes with a different view and its :scratch: again

You should read the replies and make your own judgement as to what you feel is best and more suited to you, Insha'allah! :up:

May Allah(swt) grant your a pious wife whom you can attain Firdous with! Ameen!

[ibn suleman]

You should read the replies and make your own judgement as to what you feel is best and more suited to you, Insha'allah! :up:

May Allah(swt) grant your a pious wife whom you can attain Firdous with! Ameen!

Ameen

[Reptile]

This reminds me of Mulan 2

i think opp may attract in the beginning but what if it lead to ur ruin, coz you cannot agree, because u differ?

[greenwater]

yeah exactly, i mean for me the only issues i can ever see and future hubby inshAllah having would be deen related as in if one wasn't practising etc but i mean if he was an I.T Technition or an astronaut i don't think it would matter one bit...

Alhamdulilah my interests are very varied so i think whatever he was into i would find interesting except maybe if it was Art but that's because i'm not any good at it..lol but i'd still try atleast


I agree. I think its always good for oneself to try and have varied interests, not to be afraid to try new things, and to like trying out new experiences. Therefore your able to have a much more wide variety of friends from different backgrounds, interest groups etc, be able to have fun and enjoyment in all situations, rather than limiting oneself to only a few interests. I think you'll find yourself happier also if you expand your interests, and approach new things with an open mind.

As long as your both practising muslims, and are always trying to better yourselves, then I think as long as one of you have a wide variety of interests and enjoy trying new things etc, it should be good alhamdullilah. It may even help the one who has few interest, in that their spouse encourages the other to try new things, whereas in the past they may have been hesitant to try new things, therefore limiting their interests, hobbies etc.

[Abu Mus'ab]

masha'Allah



so now the consesnsus is that it doesnt matter :scratch:
It doesn't matter.

For instance if you're a psycho and you marry a psycho then you'll get along fine as psychos, or if you're a psycho and she's the opposite of a psycho then she'll take your psycho ways out and you'll get along fine, if that makes any sense *Roll Eyes*

[miss-ali]

It doesn't matter.

For instance if you're a psycho and you marry a psycho then you'll get along fine as psychos, or if you're a psycho and she's the opposite of a psycho then she'll take your psycho ways out and you'll get along fine, if that makes any sense *Roll Eyes*
:rotfl:...yup makes loadsa sense :up:

[Eemaan]

opposites attract @)

[angel*]

For me it would ahve to be a bit of both
Similar coz its what keeps a marraige working
Opposite coz dats sumthing thta would keep the marraige alive

Meh, me making any sense? Doubt it!

[.: hayat :.]

opposite;)

[Asmara]

Similar but not too similar.

[MMS]

opposites attract @)

awww *goes off to make that special dua for eemaan* :D

[Eemaan]

awww *goes off to make that special dua for eemaan* :D

:rotfl: you remembered :D

i got a new one tho :embar: you might have to edit that dua for now :p

if opposite attract PMS your hubby gonna have to be bloody drop dead gowjus inshallah mashallah :coolbro:

[Kubs]

Opposites attract :up:

[MMS]

:rotfl: you remembered :D

i got a new one tho :embar: you might have to edit that dua for now :p

if opposite attract PMS your hubby gonna have to be bloody drop dead gowjus inshallah mashallah :coolbro:

where do u find these brainless dweebs :S

[Eemaan]

ahem (http://www.schoolhistory.co.uk/forum/index.php?showforum=10) :embar: