I requested my mother to find me a groom...

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.

My mother did not find this amusing rather i think she was flabbergasted.

I do not see anything wrong in my logical thinking.

Maybe people get married for other more powerful reasons.


I personally think my reason was legit and quite impressive (I am very modest!)

Does anyone see anything wrong in it?

Is there anything wrong with finding someone so they can be your Mahrem and be a convenient way of you travelling the world in a halal way?


Mr Socky also would like this Mahrem freedom thing despite the fact he's only two washes old.


(Please note this is only a research based thread- no dodgy PM's please nor weird innuendos )


Your lil sis

*IslamicGirl* :nerdsis:

:wswrwb:

[Quest]

hey a muhram is a companion to, i see nothing wrong with it :_)

[MMS]

the mahrem reason seems to be the only positive about being married :coolbro:

[ibn suleman]

:wswrwb:

isnt that just being selfish?
just like a guy saying he wants a wife just to cook and clean for him


but then again i dont know how big an issue the mahrem thing is :p

[Nazias]

the mahrem reason seems to be the only positive about being married :coolbro:

no way, there are loads of positive things! :inlove:

[Al-Irhaab]

the mahrem reason seems to be the only positive about being married :coolbro:


what abt the wallet??

[MMS]

no way, there are loads of positive things! :inlove:

and lots of negatives, but they only seem to be for the girls :(

ya loose ur family
ur friends
most of your belongings
u cant exactly take all ur toys and teddybears to ur husbands house he'd be like :wacko:
u have to change urself aswell, u might be used to running around, talking to urself, dancing around the house, sliding down the banisters, climbing between the walls in the hallway, singing loudly, jumping of the bed, going to bed at 3am, having fishfingers every single day
basically everything u have ever known is taken away from u :rubeyes:

[souljaa]

and lots of negatives, but they only seem to be for the girls :(

ya loose ur family
ur friends
most of your belongings
u cant exactly take all ur toys and teddybears to ur husbands house he'd be like :wacko:
u have to change urself aswell, u might be used to running around, talking to urself, dancing around the house, sliding down the banisters, climbing between the walls in the hallway, singing loudly, jumping of the bed, going to bed at 3am, having fishfingers every single day
basically everything u have ever known is taken away from u :rubeyes:

:wacko:...You make it sound as if getting married is the end of your life:0:

[Mujaheedah]

it's the end of a certain part of your life..

[souljaa]

it's the end of a certain part of your life..

Which part? The part where you spent most of your life growing up with your parents?

[Mujaheedah]

Which part? The part where you spent most of your life growing up with your parents?
well.. yea, that's part of the part of your life that ends.

[Niqaabi]

I dont see any wrong is that being one of your major reasons so long as you carry out your duties towards him as he does to you.
Like dont just marry him and live with parents and when you want to go on holiday call him up and be like "yeh so im going to Egypt in 3 weeks so make sure your waiting for me at the airport... yeh i paid for it with your debit card?"
Make sure you act like a wife, fulfill the duties you have for him, have kids and be good companions with each other.

Really i dont see a problem why people think its a sad reason to marry if you use these excuses.
When sisters say they want to marry for mahram, would you rather they travel alone?
When muslims say they want to marry for sex, would you rather they commit zina?
when muslims say they want to marry for children, would you rather they go to a sperm bank? :vomit:
when muslims say they want to marry for knowledge, would you rather they be ignorant?

I dont see a problem for major reasons of the above, so long as these people carry out their duties and get their rights and act in the way the prophet :saw: and his wives did.
And its not the same as marrying for being cleaned and fed, cos that is just laziness.

[Muhammad2]

A mahram?

Are you an only child in a single parent family? :confused:

[Kal-El]

:start:

:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.



It's nothing personal, but that is the most idiotic and immature "logic" I've ever come across in my entire life especially when you're talking about something so special as the union of marriage.

Good luck finding your chauffeur

[insomniac]

I dont see any wrong is that being one of your major reasons so long as you carry out your duties towards him as he does to you.
Like dont just marry him and live with parents and when you want to go on holiday call him up and be like "yeh so im going to Egypt in 3 weeks so make sure your waiting for me at the airport... yeh i paid for it with your debit card?"
Make sure you act like a wife, fulfill the duties you have for him, have kids and be good companions with each other.

Really i dont see a problem why people think its a sad reason to marry if you use these excuses.
When sisters say they want to marry for mahram, would you rather they travel alone?
When muslims say they want to marry for sex, would you rather they commit zina?
when muslims say they want to marry for children, would you rather they go to a sperm bank? :vomit:
when muslims say they want to marry for knowledge, would you rather they be ignorant?

I dont see a problem for major reasons of the above, so long as these people carry out their duties and get their rights and act in the way the prophet :saw: and his wives did.
And its not the same as marrying for being cleaned and fed, cos that is just laziness.

:up: JazakAllah khair for sharing such wisdom!

[PiElle]

One gets married because he/she wants to start and take care of a family, if travelling is part of their life... then that's wonderful... dun think it works the other way round.

If you want to travel... can't you get your brothers or uncles or some relative to go with you instead...? Or your girlfriends with their brothers or uncles or something like that...?

[muslimah85]

sis you travelled to Iran alone so whats the big reason for not being able to travel anywhere else? :confused:

I would not call its selfish marrying for the sake of a mehram but it is a bit of a narrow reason as such. Do you feel ready to get married? Do you feel you can accept responsibility as a wife and forfill the right of your husband which he has over you and vice versa? With marriage, travel is a minor part of it, its come with responsibility, commitment and maturity. Wha5t if you suddenly have children will you be prepared for that?

i think insh'Allah evaluate the reeasons as to why you want to marry, if its just a companion for travel you seek? If so then I would suggest waiting till you think your ready for everything else too. i accept not everyone is ready when they get married but you have to be aware with the rest of the package that come with it! :)

The point posted by another user about marrying a sister just for cooking and cleaning was a good analogy, kind of puts things into prepective in a way

[Um Abdullah]

a person would give that reason to avoid the real reason why they need a husband, the haya of the a Muslim woman would prevent her from giving more details.

but what surprises me isn't what Islamic Girl said, it is her mother's question that surprises me , her asking why she wants to get married

This is natural part of life, somethign that most people need, marriage.
it is strange for a person to ask why one wants to get married, marriage is for reasons that are well known to anyone who is married, or is mature and wants to get married. (i.e. have a family, feel secure ...etc)

I think it is just because parents are sometimes not ready for their children to get married, some would probably put it off until the son or daughter are old :rolleyes:

[seven]

realistically.... would anyone marry you just for the purpose of being mahrem?

actually... yeah, marry a freshie :up: ...passport might be a problem tho :S

[muslimah85]

realistically.... would anyone marry you just for the purpose of being mahrem?

actually... yeah, marry a freshie :up: ...passport might be a problem tho :S
:rotfl:

[Medievalist]

what abt the wallet??

:smack:

bro why u putting ideas in their heads?

[Ebony]

I think you all missed the point of the initial post.

It was a joke :rolleyes:

I think.

[muslimah85]

sis I don't think it was :p, IG has been talking about getting married for a while

[Ebony]

She's still bound to my agreement as her husband :nerdbro:

She's joking about this :p

Talk about ker-fuffle over marrying for travelling purposes lol.

Dont need to marry for that :nerdsis:

[muslimah85]

tell that to IG :p

[seven]

sometimes the truth comes out in jokes :D

[Redmist]

sometimes the truth comes out in jokes :D

Tru say..........

specially with women :D

[Ebony]

In all seriousness, marrying simply to have a mahram for travelling purposes, or to take you shopping or anything along those lines is definitely absurd.

[ibn suleman]

definitions of groom found on google :0:

# A domestic worker, or simply domestic, is a servant who works within their employer's household.


# A person who feeds and cares for the horses at the stable.


# Synonym of Animal Attendant


# to clean a horse; or the person engaged in the general care of a horse

[muslimah85]

sometimes the truth comes out in jokes :D
Thats what i keep getting told :smack: it comes naturally to us women.

The truth is either through jokes or sarcasm, one or the other :p

[muslimah85]

definitions of groom found on google :0:

# A domestic worker, or simply domestic, is a servant who works within their employer's household.


# A person who feeds and cares for the horses at the stable.


# Synonym of Animal Attendant


# to clean a horse; or the person engaged in the general care of a horse
:evilb:

[Redmist]

Marrying for travelling purposes is crazy :rubeyes:

[meer]

:start:

:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.

My mother did not find this amusing rather i think she was flabbergasted.

I do not see anything wrong in my logical thinking.

Maybe people get married for other more powerful reasons.


I personally think my reason was legit and quite impressive (I am very modest!)

Does anyone see anything wrong in it?

Is there anything wrong with finding someone so they can be your Mahrem and be a convenient way of you travelling the world in a halal way?


Mr Socky also would like this Mahrem freedom thing despite the fact he's only two washes old.


(Please note this is only a research based thread- no dodgy PM's please nor weird innuendos )


Your lil sis

*IslamicGirl* :nerdsis:

:wswrwb:

:torture: :torture: not a good reason.... you just want mehrem for travelling some part of world..:D :torture:
that means after you travel all the places do you think still the mehrem need ?
actually sis! we people did'nt marriage because of just single reason or need. it's a life time commetment & need to share each & every thing about life Exp: happiness,troubles,excitement etc...

[seven]

women want to get married just as much as men do... the difference is that men are open about it... women just joke about it, coz being honest about it will seem like that they lack hayaa :p

[`asiya]

:wswrwb:

isnt that just being selfish?
just like a guy saying he wants a wife just to cook and clean for him


but then again i dont know how big an issue the mahrem thing is :p

ya akhi its so important for a woman to have a maharam for our protection, i cant go anywhere without one, imagine u cant just get up and go out for a walk alone when u like,take yesterday an absolutely stunning day and i sooo wanted to go for a walk on the beach but i couldnt go because no one to take me and it would be foolish for me to walk alone over the deserted sandunes to reach the beach alone.we cant go for haj or ummrah , we cannot go and visit family members in the next town, or another country even by plane. subhanAllah a woman cant really do much at all without a mahram. u can only leave the house for necessity so thats to buy food or to to earn money, and thats only in daylight hours, we even have to think about the winter months and make sure we are finished work and can get home before 4pm when it gets dark.

and anyway even in the daytime its horrible being a woman alone going out alone now, people spitting on u cos of hijab, calling u names, or like the other day some guy cracked me in the head on the bus ( always seems to happen when i wear all black) yea this is what we have to deal because of the way we are dressed, a brother never has to think about any of these things.

so its not selfish for a woman to marry to have a mahram, its a complete necessity. its selfish of the brothers to leave women alone without a mahram because it restricts our lives so much and it is certainly not safe for a muslim woman to go out alone today.

mubarak Islamic girl insha Allah they find u a good husband because having a mahram is a very important part of daily islamic life for a woman and the rest of marriage is a bonus too insha Allah :up:

[Medievalist]

Definition of Dulha in Med lingo:

king of the castle
man of the house
lord of the manor
the man
the crown of the household


In MP Maharaj means:

King
Prince
Royalty

:D:D

[Khuzamah]

sis you travelled to Iran alone so whats the big reason for not being able to travel anywhere else? :confused:

I would not call its selfish marrying for the sake of a mehram but it is a bit of a narrow reason as such. Do you feel ready to get married? Do you feel you can accept responsibility as a wife and forfill the right of your husband which he has over you and vice versa? With marriage, travel is a minor part of it, its come with responsibility, commitment and maturity. Wha5t if you suddenly have children will you be prepared for that?

i think insh'Allah evaluate the reeasons as to why you want to marry, if its just a companion for travel you seek? If so then I would suggest waiting till you think your ready for everything else too. i accept not everyone is ready when they get married but you have to be aware with the rest of the package that come with it! :)

The point posted by another user about marrying a sister just for cooking and cleaning was a good analogy, kind of puts things into prepective in a wayas usual i agree with m85 :)

[ibn suleman]

ya akhi its so important for a woman to have a maharam i cant go anywhere without one, imagine u cant just get up and go out for a walk alone when u like, u cant go for haj or ummrah ,u cannot go and visit family members in the next town, or another country even by plane. subhanAllah a woman cant really do much at all without a mahram. u can only leave the house for necessity so thats to buy food or to to earn money, and thats only in daylight hours, we even have to think about the winter months and make sure we are finished work and can get home before 4pm when it gets dark.

and anyway even in the daytime its horrible being a woman alone going out alone now, people spitting on u cos of hijab, calling u names, or like the other day some guy cracked me in the head on the bus ( always seems to happen when i wear all black) yea this is what we have to deal because of the way we are dressed, a brother never has to think about any of these things.

so its not selfish for a woman to marry to have a mahram, its a complete necessity. its selfish of the brothers to leave women alone without a mahram because it restricts our lives so much and it is certainly not safe for a muslim woman to go out alone today.

:jkk:

i partially retract that post :o (although it was in a question form...)



but it wouldnt be the only reason...right??
cos then it would be unfair...

[Medievalist]

:jkk:

i partially retract that post :o (although it was in a question form...)



but it wouldnt be the only reason...right??
cos then it would be unfair...

:rotfl:

[`asiya]

:jkk:

i partially retract that post :o (although it was in a question form...)



but it wouldnt be the only reason...right??
cos then it would be unfair...

no of course its not the only reason, no womans going to put up with all the extra work she will have and going through childbirth and pregnancy just for a mahram alone thats for sure... ( can just get ur dad to take u if thats the case insha Allah ) Islamic marriage is fantastic and highly under rated partnership for life, and having a mahram is just a part of it ( but an important one for women, it never crosses a mans mind that he should have someone to take him if he wants to go out for a woman its the first thought can i get someone to come with me) if i was a muslim man i would feel proud to be taking my wife out walking or to the beach, horesriding, running or whatever,knowing that without me she would be stuck in the house all day looking at the sun shining out the window, and the bonus is that in a marriage after a while u get to take the kiddies with u too when they come insha Allah and have family walks and trips away insha Allah too :up:

[ibn suleman]

:rotfl:

i was trying to find a word to replace selfish :p

couldnt think of anything else :o

[ibn suleman]

no of course its not the only reason, no womans going to put up with all the extra work she will have and going through childbirth and pregnancy just for a mahram alone thats for sure... ( can just get ur dad to take u if thats the case insha Allah ) Islamic marriage is fantastic and highly under rated partnership for life, and having a mahram is just a part of it ( but an important one for women, it never crosses a mans mind that he should have someone to take him if he wants to go out for a woman its the first thought can i get someone to come with me) if i was a muslim man i would feel proud to be taking my wife out walking or to the beach, horesriding, running or whatever,knowing that without me she would be stuck in the house all day looking at the sun shining out the window, and the bonus is that in a marriage after a while u get to take the kiddies with u too when they come insha Allah and have family walks and trips away insha Allah too :up:

:up:

i guess its cos the importance of mahrem is overlooked by most men usually

[bint]

I think you all missed the point of the initial post.

It was a joke :rolleyes:

I think.


but ebonzzz..u shud know that its her HIDDEN consciousness (sigmond freud) :outta:

[`asiya]

I dont see any wrong is that being one of your major reasons so long as you carry out your duties towards him as he does to you.
Like dont just marry him and live with parents and when you want to go on holiday call him up and be like "yeh so im going to Egypt in 3 weeks so make sure your waiting for me at the airport... yeh i paid for it with your debit card?"
Make sure you act like a wife, fulfill the duties you have for him, have kids and be good companions with each other.

Really i dont see a problem why people think its a sad reason to marry if you use these excuses.
When sisters say they want to marry for mahram, would you rather they travel alone?
When muslims say they want to marry for sex, would you rather they commit zina?
when muslims say they want to marry for children, would you rather they go to a sperm bank? :vomit:
when muslims say they want to marry for knowledge, would you rather they be ignorant?

I dont see a problem for major reasons of the above, so long as these people carry out their duties and get their rights and act in the way the prophet :saw: and his wives did.
And its not the same as marrying for being cleaned and fed, cos that is just laziness.


true that ukhti masha Allah :up:

[Medievalist]

i was trying to find a word to replace selfish :p

couldnt think of anything else :o

I knw what u meant ;)

[Ebony]

but ebonzzz..u shud know that its her HIDDEN consciousness (sigmond freud) :outta:

Freud was a cocaine head :rolleyes: and hypocritical so I take none of his warblings on board.

[Guvna]

Freud was a cocaine head :rolleyes: and hypocritical so I take none of his warblings on board.

guess bint has much in common then! :rubeyes:

[Muhammad2]

:eek:

[Medievalist]

guess bint has much in common then! :rubeyes:

:rotfl:

[`asiya]

guess bint has much in common then! :rubeyes:

:torture: hey take that back

[Niqaabi]

true that ukhti masha Allah :up:
I think people just ignored my post, if they hadnt then they would know exactly what IG meant. :)

[bint]

Freud was a cocaine head :rolleyes: and hypocritical so I take none of his warblings on board.

ayaayyyaaaayyyyeee

guess bint has much in common then! :rubeyes:

geez me n him party together dint u know? :smack:

:rotfl:


sommat wrong withya? cos u havent stopped laughin since *looks at time*30 minutes:rolleyes:
:torture: hey take that back

thnx asiyah :inlove:

[peace2u]

:start:


:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.

My mother did not find this amusing rather i think she was flabbergasted.

I do not see anything wrong in my logical thinking.

Maybe people get married for other more powerful reasons.


I personally think my reason was legit and quite impressive (I am very modest!)

Does anyone see anything wrong in it?

Is there anything wrong with finding someone so they can be your Mahrem and be a convenient way of you travelling the world in a halal way?


Mr Socky also would like this Mahrem freedom thing despite the fact he's only two washes old.


(Please note this is only a research based thread- no dodgy PM's please nor weird innuendos )


Your lil sis

*IslamicGirl* :nerdsis:

:wswrwb:

Don't forget, your mahrem can pay for ALL your shopping habits :D an added bonus to taking you everywhere you need and want to go:D

Peace

[Medievalist]

sommat wrong withya? cos u havent stopped laughin since *looks at time*30 minutes:rolleyes:


shhhhhh :torture:

[peace2u]

........and Niqaabi, your post rocked :up: I think IG would make a good wife therefore she deserves her personal chauffeur and bank account. :D: :love:


Peace

[Kal-El]

:wswrwb:

just like a guy saying he wants a wife just to cook and clean for him


Yea and when that is said, there's an outcry :rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

Yea and when that is said, there's an outcry :rolleyes:



double standards :torture:

[`asiya]

double standards :torture:

...not double standards at all and the difference being ....u can get up off ur jacksie and cook and clean for yourself a woman however can not be her own mahram and escourt herself out of town :rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

...not double standards at all and the difference being ....u can get up off ur jacksie and cook and clean for yourself a woman however can not be her own mahram and escourt herself out of town :rolleyes:

**roll eyes**

escorting is one thing - being chauffeur driven and bankrupting innocent brothers is not on :torture:

Women are there to serve men like me - alhamdulillah

[Al-Irhaab]

:start:

:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.

My mother did not find this amusing rather i think she was flabbergasted.

I do not see anything wrong in my logical thinking.

Maybe people get married for other more powerful reasons.


I personally think my reason was legit and quite impressive (I am very modest!)

Does anyone see anything wrong in it?

Is there anything wrong with finding someone so they can be your Mahrem and be a convenient way of you travelling the world in a halal way?


Mr Socky also would like this Mahrem freedom thing despite the fact he's only two washes old.


(Please note this is only a research based thread- no dodgy PM's please nor weird innuendos )


Your lil sis

*IslamicGirl* :nerdsis:

:wswrwb:


:wswrwb:

may allah (swt) give you a good and practicing husband who hates raafidha shiahs and their evil ways and the biddah of the people of biddah and may allah (swt) guide you both to the truth and grant you pious and strong children, who also hate raafidah shiahs and biddah and associating with shiahs and etc (ameen) :D

[bint]

**roll eyes**

escorting is one thing - being chauffeur driven and bankrupting innocent brothers is not on :torture:

Women are there to serve men like me - alhamdulillah

is that what islam teaches?

[Medievalist]

is that what islam teaches?

they are there to do our khidmah. just as children are there to do their parents khidmah. just as students are to do their teachers khidmah. :rolleyes:

[bint]

they are there to do our khidmah. just as children are there to do their parents khidmah. just as students are to do their teachers khidmah. :rolleyes:
oh so thats one of the things a woman shud do? khidmah for the husband. i hope the husband does khidmah of the wife.

she isnt ONLY there to do khidmah..she is there for other things.

[peace2u]

**roll eyes**


Women are there to serve men like me - alhamdulillah

Which is why men make even more suitable personal chauffeurs and bank accounts for their wives :D


Peace

[Medievalist]

oh so thats one of the things a woman shud do? khidmah for the husband. i hope the husband does khidmah of the wife.

she isnt ONLY there to do khidmah..she is there for other things.

the wife is subservient to the husband. dont knw what the big issue is.

The husband has his responsibilities - no offence but in urdu Im replying - meri Aapa banne ki koshish mat karna.

and I knw what other things she is there for thank you.:rolleyes:

[peace2u]

There is nothing wrong with a wife serving her husband but I have a problem when wives are considered slaves. We are slaves of Allah (swt) not man but caring for our husbands and children are an honor for us which most women have no problem with.


Peace

[Nawar]

the wife is subservient to the husband. dont knw what the big issue is.

The husband has his responsibilities - no offence but in urdu Im replying - meri Aapa banne ki koshish mat karna.

and I knw what other things she is there for thank you.:rolleyes:


Big issue is people like yourself; superiority complex, arrogance, chauvanistic, attitude problem, issues. Basically :zzz:

[bint]

the wife is subservient to the husband. dont knw what the big issue is.

The husband has his responsibilities - no offence but in urdu Im replying - meri Aapa banne ki koshish mat karna.

and I knw what other things she is there for thank you.:rolleyes:


thats right, such a great answer.
im not trying to be ure teacher, nor do i intend to.
nawar thnx for that:up:

[Songbird]

There is nothing wrong with a wife serving her husband but I have a problem when wives are considered slaves. We are slaves of Allah (swt) not man but caring for our husbands and children are an honor for us which most women have no problem with.
Oh, I'm gonna rep you big time for that :inlove:

Remember boyz, a good Muslimah always puts the pleasure of Allah swt before the pleasure of her man. We only please you because it's pleasing to Allah.

Just keepin' things in perspective... :D

[Medievalist]

Big issue is people like yourself; superiority complex, arrogance, chauvanistic, attitude problem, issues. Basically :zzz:

not really. Im stating a fact. The social order is wife serves husband, child serves parent, student serves teacher. Just cos I state those facts and some women get irritated by it isnt really a case against me.

I dont have a problem accepting that I am low and must serve my parents, nor do I have a problem with having to serve my asaatizah - its an honour for me.

Similarly why should women find it degrading that they are to serve men?

And tbh third parties opinions arent really important - so long as my housepeople are happy with the way I treat them then everyone else can go whistle :D

[`asiya]

Women are there to serve men like me - alhamdulillah

yea course they are :rolleyes: thats why women got so many rights over their husbands it would take two pages to list them, and men got 4 ... be obeyed in matters of deen, to go when he calls her to his room, and to gaurd her chastity and his wealth while hes away, and to not let anyone sit on his bed ( enter his home) that he does not like to enter. Its like `Umar ibn al Khattab said when a man came to him with the intention of bringing to his notice certain complaints he had against his wife.

When he reached the door of Umar's house, he heard the Caliph's wife railing against him. Hearing this, he went back as he thought that the Caliph himself was in the same predicament and could, therefore, be hardly expected to set matters right for him.

"Umar, coming out of his house, saw the person going back. So he called him out and inquired as to the purpose which had brought him to his house. He said that he had come to him with some complaints against his wife, but turned back on finding that the Caliph himself was subject to the same treatment from his wife.

"Umar said to him that he patiently bore the excesses of his wife because she had certain rights over him.

"Is is not true that she cooks my food, washes my clothes and suckles my children, thus reliving me of the necessity of employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse although she is not in the slighted degree responsible for this? Not only that, I enjoy peace of mind on account of her and I am protected from committing the sin of adultery. In view of these advantages, I put up with her excesses. You should also do the same."


keep taking the meds hope its helping ur delusions :up:

[Medievalist]

Have u ever heard me complain abt my housepeople?

A child has rights over his parents - still has to serve them **roll eyes**

Anyways this little debate has been had over and over -

gud luck

:salams

[ibn suleman]

**roll eyes**

escorting is one thing - being chauffeur driven and bankrupting innocent brothers is not on :torture:

Women are there to serve men like me - alhamdulillah

i made a thread on that :p
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php/wifes-obedience-husband-119783.html

[bint]

med what got me ticking was when u said..


women are there to serve men.


shud have elaborated, wud have avoided any misconfusion.

[peace2u]

i made a thread on that :p
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php/wifes-obedience-husband-119783.html

Masha allah brother, cool thread.


Peace

[Medievalist]

med what got me ticking was when u said..



shud have elaborated, wud have avoided any misconfusion.

there was no need to elaborate. when you can say something in one sentence sufficiently then what is the need to write a paragraph :scratch:

[bint]

there was no need to elaborate. when you can say something in one sentence sufficiently then what is the need to write a paragraph :scratch:
lol forget it..its like talking to a brick wall :rotfl:

lets end it here.

[Nawar]

I thought he was leaving the thread. :rolleyes:

[Medievalist]

lol forget it..its like talking to a brick wall :rotfl:

lets end it here.

mashaALLAH - thats more like :D

[Nawar]

yea course they are :rolleyes: thats why women got so many rights over their husbands it would take two pages to list them, and men got 4 ... be obeyed in matters of deen, to go when he calls her to his room, and to gaurd her chastity and his wealth while hes away, and to not let anyone sit on his bed ( enter his home) that he does not like to enter. Its like `Umar ibn al Khattab said when a man came to him with the intention of bringing to his notice certain complaints he had against his wife.

When he reached the door of Umar's house, he heard the Caliph's wife railing against him. Hearing this, he went back as he thought that the Caliph himself was in the same predicament and could, therefore, be hardly expected to set matters right for him.

"Umar, coming out of his house, saw the person going back. So he called him out and inquired as to the purpose which had brought him to his house. He said that he had come to him with some complaints against his wife, but turned back on finding that the Caliph himself was subject to the same treatment from his wife.

"Umar said to him that he patiently bore the excesses of his wife because she had certain rights over him.

"Is is not true that she cooks my food, washes my clothes and suckles my children, thus reliving me of the necessity of employing a cook, a washerman and a nurse although she is not in the slighted degree responsible for this? Not only that, I enjoy peace of mind on account of her and I am protected from committing the sin of adultery. In view of these advantages, I put up with her excesses. You should also do the same."




:up:

[Medievalist]

I thought he was leaving the thread. :rolleyes:

whatever gave u that idea?

please dont assume :)

I was ending my involvement in the little discussion.

[`asiya]

Remember boyz, a good Muslimah always puts the pleasure of Allah swt before the pleasure of her man. We only please you because it's pleasing to Allah.

Just keepin' things in perspective... :D

jazakAllahu khairin ukhti amin thats the truth of the matter we should all be striving to please Allah through our good treatment of each other wether we are husbands or wives.

when ur dealing with ur wife or husband, ur ultimately dealing with a trust between u and Allah ta ala :up:

[Jigsaw]

i requested this ages ago from my mum. my dads hard to talk to. and he doesnt listhen to my mum. so im stuck in a loop. nevermind ill develop my career etc and live life

[bint]

jigsaw why dont u go n find ure own?

[Jigsaw]

jigsaw why dont u go n find ure own?yes i am always doing that. but so far there is no one around. besides i got lots of extended family helping me.

ill just wait, its no biggie but sometimes its misrable, i am getting older as well

[bint]

make lots of dua..May Allah grant you a pious spouse ameen. thumma ameen. :)

[MG]

I thought he was leaving the thread. :rolleyes:

dont worry sis, he sed that he is not gonna be posting alot on the forum once his wife is here, freeedddoommmmmM!!!! :D

[Redmist]

not really. Im stating a fact. The social order is wife serves husband, child serves parent, student serves teacher. Just cos I state those facts and some women get irritated by it isnt really a case against me.

I dont have a problem accepting that I am low and must serve my parents, nor do I have a problem with having to serve my asaatizah - its an honour for me.

Similarly why should women find it degrading that they are to serve men?

And tbh third parties opinions arent really important - so long as my housepeople are happy with the way I treat them then everyone else can go whistle :D


Bro to be honest i find ur argument women serves man to be wrong, or the wrong way to look at it. Allah says in the quran that he has created mates from amongst yourselfs that you may find tranquility in them. They are garments for each other covering their modesty. This way man and women both give peace to each other, they compliment each other.

They both provide a service to each other, it is not about one serving another.

Thats just my opinion.

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

She's still bound to my agreement as her husband :nerdbro:

She's joking about this :p

Talk about ker-fuffle over marrying for travelling purposes lol.

Dont need to marry for that :nerdsis:


It was a right kerfuffle. People who are familiar with my posts can notice my style of writing and the mood i write them in :p

C'mon guys like i'd turn around and make it plain that he is married to me for the purpose of a travelling companion. (I'd tell this to him whilst making my way to the airport or better still if it's a freshie the travelling would be a problem esp. with the stay duration etc :p )

I'm not mature enough to get married :nerdsis: (There i said it :p )

And i still think i'd choose a bar of snickers over the guy :crying:


(Aaargh another can of worms :p ;) )


:wswrwb:

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

:wswrwb:

may allah (swt) give you a good and practicing husband who hates raafidha shiahs and their evil ways and the biddah of the people of biddah and may allah (swt) guide you both to the truth and grant you pious and strong children, who also hate raafidah shiahs and biddah and associating with shiahs and etc (ameen) :D


Ahh man then i'd end up with someone like you! :eek: ( :rotfl: )


:wswrwb:

[Kal-El]

Wasted thread.

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

Don't forget, your mahrem can pay for ALL your shopping habits :D an added bonus to taking you everywhere you need and want to go:D

Peace


:love: These were the responses i was looking for - you caught the gist and the mood of this thread and how i initially started it and replied accordingly ;)


Love you Habibti :love:

:wswrwb:

[Sulaiman Harun]

:start:


:salams


A few hours ago i notified my mother i want to get married when she reasonably asked me why i stated that the i simply require a Mahrem - someone who is my Mahrem and can take me places such as Saudia Arabia, Iraq and other amazing countries.


This is the one and only reason i require a Husband.

My mother did not find this amusing rather i think she was flabbergasted.

I do not see anything wrong in my logical thinking.

Maybe people get married for other more powerful reasons.


I personally think my reason was legit and quite impressive (I am very modest!)

Does anyone see anything wrong in it?

Is there anything wrong with finding someone so they can be your Mahrem and be a convenient way of you travelling the world in a halal way?


Mr Socky also would like this Mahrem freedom thing despite the fact he's only two washes old.


(Please note this is only a research based thread- no dodgy PM's please nor weird innuendos )


Your lil sis

*IslamicGirl* :nerdsis:

:wswrwb:
You can go with your brother or father !!!

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

You can go with your brother or father !!!


My brothers are too young and my father is generally quite busy, he's just done Hajj and went to Syria to do Ziyaarat so he doesn't have many holidays left, but :insha: will try an uncle :)

It's just sometimes a spare mahrem could come in handy! :)

:wswrwb:

[Sulaiman Harun]

Then please be a bit patient until your brothers grow up or your father becoes available.

[Al-Irhaab]

:start:

:salams



Ahh man then i'd end up with someone like you! :eek: ( :rotfl: )


:wswrwb:

walaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

if its destined in ur fate then it will be.... but i pray allah (Swt) accepts my duah.... (ameen)

[Sulaiman Harun]

Wasted thread.

No its not!!

[.: Anna :.]

:start:

:salams




My brothers are too young and my father is generally quite busy, he's just done Hajj and went to Syria to do Ziyaarat so he doesn't have many holidays left, but :insha: will try an uncle :)

It's just sometimes a spare mahrem could come in handy! :)

:wswrwb:But husbands too can be quite busy, normally they're gonna be either working or studying or both, and the travel needs to be payed for so working is important and takes a lot of time, and then u get married, u can get kids which will make u really busy and travel becomes hard when they are very small, so i think the idea of "spare mahram" really makes life simpler than it would be. Only if you have unlimited money, no need to work, no other commitments.. will it be like that, the chance to go just travelling around wit ur newly acquired mahram :p Not saying husband wont take u anywhere, but just as dad is a busy person, husband may be too so you have to remember that!

[Supernova Nebula]

sweety, islamicgirl, your future husband is too precious just to make him a mere mahram for travelling.:o

[Medievalist]

dont worry sis, he sed that he is not gonna be posting alot on the forum once his wife is here, freeedddoommmmmM!!!! :D

Im leaving my shagird here - no need to get too free :rolleyes:

Bro to be honest i find ur argument women serves man to be wrong, or the wrong way to look at it. Allah says in the quran that he has created mates from amongst yourselfs that you may find tranquility in them. They are garments for each other covering their modesty. This way man and women both give peace to each other, they compliment each other.

They both provide a service to each other, it is not about one serving another.

Thats just my opinion.


Im not saying anything against that. ALLAH Ta'ala declares us the libaas of each other and they have spoken and written extensively on this. But I dont see a conflict in what I have said and what you have written.

Going back to parent/child or student/teacher analogy. We can see there is superiority but there is also closeness and affection. The two arent mutually exclusive.

Also in the same Quran where Rabb Ta'ala describes men and women as libaas to each other - He Ta'ala declares men to have a rank over women. Neither can we as believers deny that they are libaas, nor can we deny that we have a rank over them and these need to be understood in the light of the Ahadeeth and the explanations offered by our righteous ulama.

[junaidb]

I dont see any wrong is that being one of your major reasons so long as you carry out your duties towards him as he does to you.
Like dont just marry him and live with parents and when you want to go on holiday call him up and be like "yeh so im going to Egypt in 3 weeks so make sure your waiting for me at the airport... yeh i paid for it with your debit card?"
Make sure you act like a wife, fulfill the duties you have for him, have kids and be good companions with each other.

Really i dont see a problem why people think its a sad reason to marry if you use these excuses.
When sisters say they want to marry for mahram, would you rather they travel alone?
When muslims say they want to marry for sex, would you rather they commit zina?
when muslims say they want to marry for children, would you rather they go to a sperm bank? :vomit:
when muslims say they want to marry for knowledge, would you rather they be ignorant?

I dont see a problem for major reasons of the above, so long as these people carry out their duties and get their rights and act in the way the prophet :saw: and his wives did.
And its not the same as marrying for being cleaned and fed, cos that is just laziness.

:up: :up: :up:

Cudnt be better said.....


:coolbro:

[junaidb]

Bro to be honest i find ur argument women serves man to be wrong, or the wrong way to look at it. Allah says in the quran that he has created mates from amongst yourselfs that you may find tranquility in them. They are garments for each other covering their modesty. This way man and women both give peace to each other, they compliment each other.

They both provide a service to each other, it is not about one serving another.

Thats just my opinion.


lets just say that Medivalist means that its their free choice, and a better one at that also, that they obey their husbands for their Jannah is made by him like how everyone knows Jannah is awso made by obeyings your beloved mother. Jannah lies at the feet of the mother.
the father comes at the end of 4th after the mother.

just look at it with a a positive shift in paradigm.....

:coolbro:

Wassalaam:up:

[Ebony]

Marry an unemployed bum. That way he's always free! :nerdbro:

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

Marry an unemployed bum. That way he's always free! :nerdbro:


Except when we make romantic trips to the job centre together :nerdsis:

Or when i give him holiday after free holiday eh? :p

:wswrwb:

[meer]

Marry an unemployed bum. That way he's always free! :nerdbro:

Ohhhhh! What a lucky guy he will be :rubeyes: no work atall only travelling round the world ...:hidban: by father in law money :D mean full travel package...:D

[Asmara]

I wouldn't dare ask my mother to find me a groom. You've got some guts sis.

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

I wouldn't dare ask my mother to find me a groom. You've got some guts sis.


Alhamdulillah each mum always looks out for their child. I would trust my mum more than myself. Whatever Allah wills :)


Btw she didn't take my request seriously :p (shows how much she knows me :) )

:wswrwb:

[urban_rose]

aww, SubhanAllah, this is great news, sis....May Allah SWT bless you in marriage with the most handsome and devout man who takes the best care of you inshAllah :love:

[Asmara]

:start:

:salams




Alhamdulillah each mum always looks out for their child. I would trust my mum more than myself. Whatever Allah wills :)


Btw she didn't take my request seriously :p (shows how much she knows me :) )

:wswrwb:

I wouldn't ask my mother to find me a groom because she wouldn't like hearing that. I'd be to shy to bring the topic of marriage up because she's not ready to let me go. I'm still a baby at 20. :hidban:

[`asiya]

I wouldn't ask my mother to find me a groom because she wouldn't like hearing that. I'd be to shy to bring the topic of marriage up because she's not ready to let me go. I'm still a baby at 20. :hidban:

20 :rubeyes: is hardly a baby ukhti, 10/11 maybe is still a baby, i had two children by the time i was 21

[.: Anna :.]

It differs from people to people, some ppl feel they are still a baby at that age and their parents also think of them as one, some ppl feel mature and independent earlier than others :p

[Asmara]

20 :rubeyes: is hardly a baby ukhti, 10/11 maybe is still a baby, i had two children by the time i was 21

I don't see myself as a baby, but mother kind of does :(

[`asiya]

I don't see myself as a baby, but mother kind of does :(

oh dont worry ukhti im in my 30`s and my dad still sees me as "his little girl" it still hasnt yet clicked in his head that i grew up quite some time ago even when i gave him grandchildren hehe :D sometimes u have to gently remind them that its time for u move forward into womanhood insha Allah may Allah make it easy for u to get married to a pious kind man who fears Allah amin :)

[Asmara]

oh dont worry ukhti im in my 30`s and my dad still sees me as "his little girl" it still hasnt yet clicked in his head that i grew up quite some time ago even when i gave him grandchildren hehe :D sometimes u have to gently remind them that its time for u move forward into womanhood insha Allah may Allah make it easy for u to get married to a pious kind man who fears Allah amin :)

Jazakallah khair sis. May Allah make you of the people of jannah amin :)

[algharib]

My mum sooo much worries about me and wants me to get married real soon though i had my eyes on an amazing sis' but im still looking into the near future to see if i'll make my move or let her go. A cousin of mine who grew up with my family was on my neck that i had to go for her friends daughter who is based in Madina for marriage, met the ukti she was lovely and hs good aklaq but i felt still were not compatable. Pls make dua for my mum to chill a lil' bit on my case and offcourse pray for her,me and all of you for the very best in dunya and akhirah.Barakallahu feekum.

[Honey87]

Sis, maybe the reason your mother was flabbergasted was due to the reason you gave her as it may come across as you only want to get married just for convenience. As sis Asiya said, 20 isn't exactly a baby.A lot of cultures regard being 20 at a marriageable age so it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask to get married. i am the same age, and being married technically would maybe give more freedom cos u have a mahram to go round with however this being the 'one and only' reason does seem unreasonable. Marriage completes half one's iman thus showing the importance in it.

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

I wouldn't ask my mother to find me a groom because she wouldn't like hearing that. I'd be to shy to bring the topic of marriage up because she's not ready to let me go. I'm still a baby at 20. :hidban:

I'm not much older than you :p


:wswrwb:

[*IslamicGirl*]

:start:

:salams

Marriage is also good to make a family stable - one needs a father and mother role and if there is a lacking in one, the children can feel deprived. Sometimes one is required to get married as it completes one half of one's deen and provides an extra person to buy chocolate and other stuff~ Mr Socky's reasoning and logic.


:wswrwb: