fairy tales..

[morocn_prince55]

salams!
is it true that in islam..we're not allowed to "fall in love"...i mean..i was discussing this with sum1..and they said u r not suppose to "fall in love"..as long as you no he or she is a good pious muslim..that shud be enuff!?
but really..!?! i mean..i cant imagine marrying sumone without loving him..!? can someone help clear this up for me?
uR siS,
k!@

[Abu Mu'adh]

you can grow to love the person you marry, but initially if you wana fall into anything let it be his iman, deen, akhlaq, morals and character, if these are sound then fall as much as you want.

[morocn_prince55]

you can grow to love the person you marry,

thats the thing! what if you cant..

[ur_yusra]

Well what usually happens is the damsel is in distress up in the tall tower and the prince comes to save her right after she lets her hair down.

Any other way is despicable - unheard of.

[Khuzamah]

It depends completely on what you mean exactly by fall in love. People have a different idea of what this means, and so you can get a lot of different answers to this. And even there is a kind of difference between loving someone and falling in love with them.
But I maintain that you can love someone and want to marry them without transgressing into the haraam. Once u actually marry them and spend time together properly, get to know them alot more... the love will increase. It doesnt mean there was nothing there before. Its ideal that you have some kind of feelings for someone before you marry them, and the actual desire 2 marry that person.

[morocn_prince55]

but how can that be done..if we all have to "lower our gazes" and all..?

[Khuzamah]

Because love is not just about looks/physical attraction but about character. So like you can hear stories of someone from history, and you did not see them or talk to them yet a feeling of love comes for them because of their personality and character and actions. So if there is a certain brother in ur community, you hear about the things which he does for the community, how he treats his family, his reputation etc you can feel impressed with his character. Then when someone sends a proposal you can talk to them to find out if ur compatible, like go with ur family 2 visit his place so you would get more of an idea of him. Sometimes people can develop such feelings. it depends

[neelu]

Can the mods have 'staple threads' or stickies to refer people back to in order to reduce the number of repeated threads on the same thing over and over again. In marriage section we can have the following stickies for me to avoid:D :

- Are we allowed to have love marriages ?:smack:

- Does race/skin colour matter in a marriage?@)

- The hijacked gender roles thread for Irhaab and Yusra :argue:

And as a template, the mods can have a ready made thread title for people saying "I wanna marry so and so but my parents don't approve because...:help: "

[Peacenik]

Love's overrated....

[Kal-El]

"Falling in love" implies you spent time socialising and opening up to a guy, in short - romanticism, which isn't allowed in Islam prior to marriage.

So if you don't spend time with the opposite gender, then there is little chance of that happening. However, if you see or unintentionally meet a guy or have some sort of formal relationship with, then the most you'd experience is probable attraction either towards his characteristics or his appearance in which you case you propose..

Most likely the vast majority of marriage proposals are based on feelings.