wife's obedience to the husband

[ibn suleman]

:p :D

This is from a fatwa of Sheikh Nizar Ash-Shu'aybi, where he defines the different types of obedience:

Quote:
The wife’s duties to her husband are as follows:

First Duty: Obedience. A wife should be as obedient as she can to her husband. This preserves the family and protects it from collapsing. This is part of Islam’s organizing of the family structure. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked: ‘Which women are the best?’ he answered: “The one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he asks something of her, and is not disobedient in herself or her money in what he hates.” [Musnad Ahmad]

One should note that a wife’s obedience to her husband falls into one of four categories:

1- To order her to do something this is prescribed by Islamic law, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

2- To order her to do something which is beneficial to him, or prohibit her from doing something which is harmful to him, such as things which have to do with his food or clothes. She must obey him here unless there is a valid excuse not to.

3- To order her to do something which falls into her private affairs, such as asking her to give him money or forbidding her from speaking to a friend for no good reason. Here she can obey him if she wants but she does not have to. She should consider the benefit and harm of such obedience.

4- To order her to disobey Allah’s commands, and here she must disobey her husband.

[Quest]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

p.s no right minded right emaned women would disobey her husband if he was straight, if he had some crookedness but at times is still straight she would still obey him, but if he is down right miserable fool who's conduct stinks shes right to have issues with obeying him.
seriously some of the akiis on the lurk to day deserve a back slap not total obedience.

obedience comes naturally, in that when a man acts like a man, and he is oozing with izaa disobedience to him is never on the wives agenda, in fact it is like a shamefull sick sin to her.

some bros lack izaa, common sense, intellect, right conduct, mercy and all the good stuff, so its hard for a sis to be obedient to an incompetent fool so to speak.

I treat my brothers differently tho non of them are stupid, they do differ in conduct, the one thats rude i make sure his the last to be fed. i dont clean after him, i would make everyones beds, wash their clothes and protect their important stuff, except for him ;)

the one that has dignity and is mature in that he speaks with kindness, mercy and wisdom is fed first. if he so much as asks me to make him something simple to eat, i go all out for him. and his younger then the rude one.

so men should remember actions are paid in full.

[ibn suleman]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

p.s no right minded right emaned women would disobey her husband.
but seriously some of the akiis on the lurk to day deserve a back slap not total obedience.

obedience comes naturally, in that when a man acts like a man, and he is oozing with izaa disobedience to him is never on the wives agenda, in fact it is like a shamefull sick sin to her.

some bros lack izaa, common sense, intellect, right conduct, mercy and all the good stuff, so its hard for a sis to be obedient to an incompetent fool so to speak.

I treat my brothers differently tho non of them are stupid, they do differ in conduct, the one thats rude i make sure his the last to be fed. i dont clean after him, i would make everyones beds, wash their clothes and protect their important stuff, except for him ;)

the one that has dignity and is mature in that he speaks with kindness, mercy and wisdom is fed first. if he so much as asks me to make him something simple to eat, i go all out for him. and his younger then the rude one.

so men should remember actions are paid in full.

:up:

not sure what u mean by should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

[`asiya]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

yes he should if hes not fufilling those obligations to Allah ta ala she has to remind him of that, its part of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. ( and u cant remain married to a man who doesnt pray anyway so he has to listen or go ...)

[Reptile]

edit, Jazakallah khair asiya

[ibn suleman]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

yes he should if hes not fufilling those obligations to Allah ta ala she has to remind him of that, its part of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. ( and u cant remain married to a man who doesnt pray anyway so he has to listen or go ...)

oh i get it now :o

:jkk: :up:

[Quest]

:up:

not sure what u mean by

well ibn sul

in number one it states

1- To order her to do something this is prescribed by Islamic law, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

if the coin is flipped should he not obey her? if we look at shariah in full, surah asr alone would say yes, in that believers have to enjoin in the good and forbid the evil. however much emphasis is not given to this subject when the coin is flipped in that the wive is on point and the husband is not.

if she told him anything usually men do not obey. and this is the cultural pride embedded into them that man should not take orders from women, this is pride.
and i have seen marriages break down because of this, a sis married a bro later she started practicing, she tried so hard to call him to the haqq he knew what she was saying was correct instead of obeying her he kicked her out. and the community partly condemns him due to their own philosophy and after propa thinking abt what happened.

but if the story was the other way around, no 1 would need to study the judgment this simple issue needs. for it will be recognised simply because the women getting out of line is over emphasised. its time 2 emphasise the flip side. u feel me?

[`asiya]

Basically doesnt she have the right to also for him to obey her, when it comes to following prescribed islamic law if he isnt?

well he should be obeying Allah ta ala who has ordered him to provide and maintain for his wife, and obey his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam in being kind and gentle with her, but like Quest said if u have a man who acts like a man it makes u feel more of a woman, and ur quite happy to obey him in Islamic matters, our husbands are our amirs, the captain of the household ship, and more than one captain and that ship is going to sink...


too many cooks spoil the broth ..as the scots say... and thats the way Allah ta ala has made it , and i like it that way Alhamdulillah it works well :up:

[Reptile]

Oh ok Barakallah feek :)

[Quest]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

yes he should if hes not fufilling those obligations to Allah ta ala she has to remind him of that, its part of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil. ( and u cant remain married to a man who doesnt pray anyway so he has to listen or go ...)

exactamendo :up:

well he should be obeying Allah ta ala who has ordered him to provide and maintain for his wife, and obey his messenger salAllahu alleyhi wa salam in being kind and gentle with her, but like Quest said if u have a man who acts like a man it makes u feel more of a woman, and ur quite happy to obey him in Islamic matters, our husbands are our amirs, the captain of the household ship, and more than one captain and that ship is going to sink...


too many cooks spoil the broth ..as the scots say... and thats the way Allah ta ala has made it , and i like it that way Alhamdulillah it works well :up:

^ Word to the wise thats for sure :)

[bint]

should he not obey her in number 1? just curious

p.s no right minded right emaned women would disobey her husband if he was straight, if he had some crookedness but at times is still straight she would still obey him, but if he is down right miserable fool who's conduct stinks shes right to have issues with obeying him.
seriously some of the akiis on the lurk to day deserve a back slap not total obedience.

obedience comes naturally, in that when a man acts like a man, and he is oozing with izaa disobedience to him is never on the wives agenda, in fact it is like a shamefull sick sin to her.

some bros lack izaa, common sense, intellect, right conduct, mercy and all the good stuff, so its hard for a sis to be obedient to an incompetent fool so to speak.

I treat my brothers differently tho non of them are stupid, they do differ in conduct, the one thats rude i make sure his the last to be fed. i dont clean after him, i would make everyones beds, wash their clothes and protect their important stuff, except for him ;)

the one that has dignity and is mature in that he speaks with kindness, mercy and wisdom is fed first. if he so much as asks me to make him something simple to eat, i go all out for him. and his younger then the rude one.

so men should remember actions are paid in full.

exactly..if a man gives respect,kindness and lets go of that pride/ego/macho then a wife wud definately obey him :up:

but if hes attitude sucks then chook him in the dustbin.

[ibn suleman]

well ibn sul

in number one it states

1- To order her to do something this is prescribed by Islamic law, such as the five prayers. Here the wife must obey her husband, and she would be considered sinful from two perspectives if she fails to obey.

if the coin is flipped should he not obey her? if we look at shariah in full, surah asr alone would say yes, in that believers have to enjoin in the good and forbid the evil. however much emphasis is not given to this subject when the coin is flipped in that the wive is on point and the husband is not.

if she told him anything usually men do not obey. and this is the cultural pride embedded into them that man should not take orders from women, this is pride.
and i have seen marriages break down because of this, a sis married a bro later she started practicing, she tried so hard to call him to the haqq he knew what she was saying was correct instead of obeying her he kicked her out. and the community partly condemns him due to their own philosophy and after propa thinking abt what happened.

but if the story was the other way around, no 1 would need to study the judgment this simple issue needs. for it will be recognised simply because the women getting out of line is over emphasised. its time 2 emphasise the flip side. u feel me?

:up: definitely.


this trhead was cos usually the issue of "obedience" is oftenmisunderstood

[bint]

anyhoo good thread ibn suleman :embar:

[ibn suleman]

anyhoo good thread ibn suleman :embar:

hmm :scratch:

*checks to see if theres anything written in white*
*all clear*

thanks :D

[`asiya]

heres a few tips for the brothers to encourage your wives to be obedient to you

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

As a Muslim husband, you should know that women tend to be more romantic than men. They like to hear tender words, to be praised, to feel that they are being cared for, to be the main concern of their husbands and the one to whom he directs his ardent love. You love your wife and your heart is full of love for her, but she does not hear anything of it. You begrudge the tender words she needs and the praise she deserves.

She deserves that you listen to her, praise her, and sympathize with her when she is troubled. She really needs this. She cannot ask anyone else for such things; she is a good believer and a sincere wife who can never ask another man for such emotions.

Do you like her to be miserable? Do you accept that she suffers thirst although water is near but you keep it from her? You should know that her need for compliments and tender words is as real as her need for sustenance, clothing, and other things that you believe to be the source of happiness.

Real happiness needs psychological nourishment and material things are not enough to fulfill this kind of nourishment. So, express your love toward your wife, and give her the right she deserves—to be complimented, treated gently, played with. Let her see your love, and show her your great need for her. Men often find it difficult to open up and express their feelings, but this is what she is seeking.

Talk to her, even about small things that happen at work, and also show an interest in what she does. You should do so in order to let her express her feelings and not to make her lose hope in you and, consequently, lose interest in you. Of course, we do not mean that she would be interested in another person.

Once, the Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) was sitting with one of his Companions when another man passed by them. The man who was sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “I love this man (for Allah’s sake).” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Have you told him?” The man replied in the negative. So the Prophet said, “Go and tell him.” Thereupon, the man stood up and said to the other man, “I love you for Allah’s sake.” The other replied, “May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you.” (Reported by Ahmad)

Thus, I would like to ask you who is more worthy of such feelings than the man with his wife and the woman with her husband?

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to do so with his wives; he used to express his love toward them by word and deed. As for words, it is reported that `Amr ibn Al-`Aas (may Allah be pleased with him) asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) saying, “O Allah’s Messenger, whom do you love most, after Allah Almighty?” He (peace and blessings be upon him) replied, “`A’ishah.” `Amr ibn Al-`Aas then said, “And from among the men?” The Prophet answered, “Her father (Abu Bakr).” This hadith shows how great was the Prophet's love for `A’ishah, and this love was well-known among his Companions.

`A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said, “It would happen that Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) would take a utensil containing food, give it to me while I was having my menstrual period, and adjure me to eat from it. Then he would take the vessel being keen to put his mouth on the same place I put my mouth on.” Of course, the Prophet did this as a kind of compliment and to let his wife feel his affection. `A’ishah also swore that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to do the same when drinking water. She would drink then he would take the utensil and drink from it, putting his mouth where she had put hers.

By doing such things, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) intended to guide his nation as to how the relation between the spouses should be, how affection and mercy can last between them, and how the husband can talk gently and play with his wife.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Be lenient toward glass vessels (that is, women)!” In this hadith, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) called women “glass vessels,” for they need care either in treatment or even in speech. Allah's Messenger further said, “Treat women kindly.” In addition, Allah Almighty says, “… and speak kindly to mankind …” (Al-Baqarah: 83)

It goes without saying that our wives are more deserving to be treated kindly. They are our helpmates, our children's mothers, the ones who make our homes comfortable and fulfill our love desires.

In addition, a good word is an act of charity. The devil, indeed, sows discord among mankind. So if you, dear brother, want to preserve your happiness and insure that your wife is doing her duties toward you with content, you should know that the most beloved deed to Allah after the obligatory acts of worship is bringing happiness to a Muslim’s heart.

So what do you think of your most intimate companion, your permanent neighbor, your other half, your wife that you have chosen from among all other women? It does not take much effort on your part to learn to say “I love you” every day, to take her a small gift now and then, to phone her from work sometimes just to say “I love you,” to take her out alone now and then even if only for a walk, or in other ways to show your affection. Such small steps can go a long way to making her happy and strengthening your marriage.

[bint]

hmm :scratch:

*checks to see if theres anything written in white*
*all clear*

thanks :D


before anyone jumps on me :nervous:

[Quest]

true bint
asiya mashallah

ibn suleman i added you to my ummah homie list :-)

[Bint Yusuf]

all about men and their pride, the barrier to jannah

'get me food' and 'get me food please', you are essentially the key to having an obedient wife majority of the time:D

[Tahiyah]

Mashaa Allah

I accept wives obedience to husbands as this is commanded by Allah (swt)

but i was wondering if any of you think that a wife could be a bit to much obedient? does that make any sense?

what i mean is, if a wife is to submissive, wouldnt a man at some point become bored with her, if she offers no challenge at all? please dont take this the wrong way, sisters should obey their husbands...but does anyone understand what i am trying to say here?

the reason i ask this is because i know this sis who was the most obedient submissive wife i had ever known. i was jealous of how obedient she was, wish i could be more like her. but then i thought she was going to far..i mean her husband made every little last decision, and she had to have permission for just about everything. it seemed odd to me after awhile and well now, the couple has divorced. she was a blessing to him, be he left her. she could not have children and that could be the only reason he left, but still, it just seems so unfair because she was sooo obedient to him. he had full knowledge that she could not have children before he married her. he was ok with it for several years.

[ibn suleman]

Mashaa Allah

I accept wives obedience to husbands as this is commanded by Allah (swt)

but i was wondering if any of you think that a wife could be a bit to much obedient? does that make any sense?

what i mean is, if a wife is to submissive, wouldnt a man at some point become bored with her, if she offers no challenge at all? please dont take this the wrong way, sisters should obey their husbands...but does anyone understand what i am trying to say here?

the reason i ask this is because i know this sis who was the most obedient submissive wife i had ever known. i was jealous of how obedient she was, wish i could be more like her. but then i thought she was going to far..i mean her husband made every little last decision, and she had to have permission for just about everything. it seemed odd to me after awhile and well now, the couple has divorced. she was a blessing to him, be he left her. she could not have children and that could be the only reason he left, but still, it just seems so unfair because she was sooo obedient to him. he had full knowledge that she could not have children before he married her. he was ok with it for several years.


i think theres a diff between a walk-over and being obedient..

edit- hmm actually i wasnt sure what i was trying to say :scratch:

[`asiya]

http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=120002 check this out insha Allah :up: