View Full Version : Married out of love, hubby kicked her out, now living in a country alone, disowned .
Asalama alaykum
*sighs* i have read some things in my time about muslims running away with prospective spouses. be they non muslim, from a deviant sect or not. and i have seen the end result.
I dont understand how any one can ever make such a huge decision based on emotion and not intelligence.
Many people are quick to say 'but i love him' or her whatever the case may be, Tina turner said it best when she said "whats love got to do with it?" and this is a woman who knows! anyone would if you had ike for a husband.
Check this
I was over at one of my friends cribs, just chilling doing my work, she popped out to go shopping, down the center she met this uktii, my friend is the type of muslima you can approach, she has iman, and a warm warm smile. as she roamed around this ukti began to speak to her.
my friend returned home to me and told me the story, which simply was
There is this asian sis, she fell in love with a shia (is she ight?) lol no this isnt funny . i just couldnt resist that!
anyways she fell for him, he swept her of her feet, her family said heck no, and rightly so, she decided to go against them.
after she got married it was not long after before she realised her husband was in a state of kufr, dude was hitting the pubs, he was inconsiderate he had all the bad traits one who could think of.
to cut a long story short, after she preached him to much as he saw it, he kicked her out. her family disowned her and didnt want nothing to do with her.
shes by herself now, and lives of the lil money she earns which is way way below minimum wage.
when i was told of her story, my 1st reaction was, bring her in to our circle, i wanted to befriend this sister, and help her to build her life up again. i believe in once you move forward you cant go back, so its best to repent from your past and not look back, grief does not bring back that which is lost nor does worry correct mistakes.
looking back now, this uktii was in love, and followed her nafs, this is where it led her to. alhamdulilaah she has eman now.
but this thread is simply to say, stop and think before you act.
and remember to do istaqkara.
peace.
Bint Yusuf
03-04-07, 10:00 AM
SubhanAllah
I've heard about this story before, how she ran away from her parents for him! Oh and that she came from India or Pakistan to come here, so she's in a country where she knows no one and then her husband started not practicing, cut off his beard etc
Your friend met her?
This story really did upset me and I feel sorry for this uhktii big time! But then again I wouldn't marry no Shia.
Quest, can your post be moved into the anonymous post counselling section in response to the sister who wants to marry a sikh? I can see parrallels here.
*ahem* btw, one of my cousins is married to a shia girl- they have 3 kids and are quite well settled actually.
mashaAllah..what a great timing for a reminded. jazakAllah sis! may Allah reward you ameen thumma ameen.
ghanamuslima
03-04-07, 03:32 PM
subhanallah a lesson for all the young sisters,marry a man for his deen then inshallah you will grow to love him.
Abu Baraa
03-04-07, 08:43 PM
'Inna lillahi raajihun, Allahumma ajirni fi musibati wa akhlifli khairun minhu.Masha'Allaah she has mde tawbah and insha'Allaah she will receive Allaah's mercy. Uktii Quest u, and ur friend with the beautiful character pls work on the sister to strengten her iman and her understanding of Tawheed to become sound. It's ur duty to rescue her and may Allaah make it easy for you,amin. Barakllahu feekum to u sisters, if we engage in helping our brothers and sisters from all these ills and fitnah the dunya would be in a better state insha'Allaah.
ur_yusra
03-04-07, 08:49 PM
:(
neelu a sister wants to marry a sikh? u can paste my opening thread there sis if she is someone of understanding she would take heed.
Something else thats happened
A sister married a brother she was dating (his muslim tho this one)
after their marriage and after a while, eman entered her heart, she began to practice and all of a sudden her husbands straying from the path began to bother her, she kept preaching him, and calling him to the haqq.
and what does he do? kick her out of their house, this ukti is now homeless and has no where to go. pls keep her in your duas.
Sisters please pray istaqkara before u marry, and marry a man whose diin is in his heart and his actions.
barakallahu feek
thanks for the advice and duas folks.
Reptile
04-04-07, 11:06 AM
ameen insha'allah she will be remembered in our duas
You do something wrong, and life always has a way of going wrong and biting you back in tha @ss if your lucky,
Bint Yusuf
04-04-07, 03:30 PM
this kinda scares me about marriage:(
Thats what you get for thinking outside of your brains capacity
Parents say no, she goes "hell with you, im doing it anyway" and then her marriage went to pot.
Deja vu:
Parents vs Potential Spouse (http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115894)
Abdelrhman
04-04-07, 07:31 PM
:salams
SubhanAllah, that's a horrible story :(
SubhanAllah...I don't even know what to say.
:(
May Allah make the Haqq apear right to us, and grant us the ability to follow it and be pleased with it, and may He make the Batil appear wrong to us, and grant us the ability to abstain from it, and be content with that.
Deen is the most important thing to marriage! If you willingly marry a faasiq you're digging yourself a huge deep hole and it's only gonna get deeper.
Medievalist
04-04-07, 11:05 PM
May ALLAH have mercy on her and forgive her.
Whatever has happenned she has brought on herself - its unfortunate that her family are having nothing to do with her but there is no blame on them. She needs to exhibit patience and maybe one day she'll have a life worth living inshaALLAH.
ur_yusra
04-04-07, 11:06 PM
May ALLAH have mercy on her and forgive her.
Whatever has happenned she has brought on herself - its unfortunate that her family are having nothing to do with her but there is no blame on her. She needs to exhibit patience and maybe one day she'll have a life worth living inshaALLAH.
:eek: :eek:
Another thread trying to dismiss the concept of marrying out of love? lol
Medievalist
04-04-07, 11:08 PM
:eek: :eek:
I editted.
I editted.
Lol, I think she means your entire post is shocking.
Medievalist
04-04-07, 11:11 PM
Lol, I think she means your entire post is shocking.
:scratch:
abdusamad
05-04-07, 12:50 AM
A good lesson for all of us.
Brothers, if she wears hijaab but she looks like a clown with the make up then look away.
Sisters, if he looks like a kaffir with shaved beard, and Armani shirts and jeans and jewlery. Run for cover.
Btw. Quest your way of writing is funny. Reminds me of some days..
lol abdusamad is that right? some good days i hope :)
ey yo kal el, it aint about dismissing marrying out of love akii, am all down with that am just saying not when intelligence would dictate otherwise. if intellect sound reasoning and love push you to someone then mashallah like so be it, thats a bonus
but emotion over intellect? heck no. say it aint so....
inshahallah we will all learn something from this story, this ukti is strugling to make ends meet and that faasiq dont even get me started on him
remember people a smart person learns from his/her own mistakes, however a wise person learns from the mistakes of others.
SheikhOnDeRun
05-04-07, 11:12 PM
saalam,
What if someone married someone for their deen (parents were against this)?
saalam
abdusamad
05-04-07, 11:53 PM
saalam,
What if someone married someone for their deen (parents were against this)?
saalam
You always meet someone else but you wont meet different parents.
Push it forward by giving them dawah and trying to get them to understand. BUT if they refuse and stand put, do not loose your child-parent relationship over marrying someone. Alhamdulillah there are plenty of religious muslimahs out there. (I hope)
abdusamad
05-04-07, 11:54 PM
lol abdusamad is that right? some good days i hope :)
lol Sorry not good days.
(*_Hamzah
06-04-07, 01:59 AM
If a sister wanted to leave her family in order to be with me, I would reject such an idea and say go back to your family......
If a sister wanted to leave her family in order to be with me, I would reject such an idea and say go back to your family......
salaam
awwwwwww :inlove:
Chained_Water
06-04-07, 12:59 PM
Reminds me of my Potential Spouses vs Parents thread.. another example of selfishness and naivity going wrong.
Another thread trying to dismiss the concept of marrying out of love? lol
Salam bro...
the word 'Love' has been abused left, right, and centre, people have lost all sense of what it means...
in Islam, Love is not 'I Fancy someone, right I'm gonna go and marry them...'
we have several examples of How the Prophet(saws) Married for example, and how we aught to chose our Spouses...
:jkk:
lol Sorry not good days.
oh thats just bad!
Shazan mashallah, thats what a real man would do
CW that rents v/s spouse thread should be a sticky!
Abu Baraa
07-04-07, 08:11 PM
Salam bro...
the word 'Love' has been abused left, right, and centre, people have lost all sense of what it means...
in Islam, Love is not 'I Fancy someone, right I'm gonna go and marry them...'
we have several examples of How the Prophet(saws) Married for example, and how we aught to chose our Spouses...
:jkk:
It is from the mercy of Allaah, that He placed mercy and love between the husband and wife. But the human, with his limited knowledge, in order to avoid pain of seclusion and neglection, tries to cling on to the love which he/she has gained, making his/her goal to achieve it for its sake. this is where the problem lies and where, once you loose your expectations, the destruction of the whole world around you is felt. the core reason for this is that, you have tried to gain the love and trust of a human as a goal in its self, rather than gaining for the love of Allaah. And Allaah knows best.
It is from the mercy of Allaah, that He placed mercy and love between the husband and wife. But the human, with his limited knowledge, in order to avoid pain of seclusion and neglection, tries to cling on to the love which he/she has gained, making his/her goal to achieve it for its sake. this is where the problem lies and where, once you loose your expectations, the destruction of the whole world around you is felt. the core reason for this is that, you have tried to gain the love and trust of a human as a goal in its self, rather than gaining for the love of Allah. And Allah knows best.
:jkk: bro, and I agree with you, except that I haven't tried to gain the Love of Some Human over that of Allah, nor do I want to...
as the Quran says...
AL-Quran, Chapter 9 : Verse 24
-------------------------------
"Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline: or the dwellings in which ye delight - are dearer to you than Allah, or His Messenger, or the striving in His cause;- then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious."
Allah subhana Uta'ala says that those who love anything more than Allah, his Rasu(saws)l or Striving in his Cause, they are Rebellious Transgressors, awaiting Allah's Decision for their Doom...
I'm assuming your post was general, and not directed to me...:o
May Allah keep us firmly in Imaan on the Siratal-Mustaqim!
Um Hurayrah
10-04-07, 08:21 AM
Hold it...
I do not see a reason why you have to base your judgements on that man simply because he was shia, there are sunnis who act worse.. If that girl really had Iman, she would've noticed that he was not much of a good muslim and she wouldnt have married him. What did she love him for anyway? i bet she didnt mention that. and her eloping with him and marrying him behind her parent's back, serves her right...
anyway, that was the repurcussions of her foolishness. she's better get back to her family now and be all penitent instead of living like a bum.
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