View Full Version : Misyar Marriage
okay lets discuss..
great just great :smack: i open the thread on mpac to see medievilists..replies on pleasure marriages on misyar n muta. :rolleyes: now i know why u wanna have this convo..
nevertheless..
misyar is a marriage wherupon a guy gets maried to the girl..she stays at her own home..with her parents or whatnot..she does not get supported by her 'husband' and basically they meet each other whenever they want wherever they want..
i dont agree with it because..these marriages are their to satisfy sexual pleasure in a cheap way...am i correct to say that these women dont get dowry? arent financially supported..but then again..this sort of marriage has been INTRODUCED for the poor people..and now has been used by those who are studying..travelling etc to satisfy their desires....it kind of sums down to mutah to me.:rolleyes:
ur_yusra
30-03-07, 10:11 PM
This is letting a man get off cheaply.. she should raise her dowry levels.. sky high.
This is letting a man get off cheaply.. she should raise her dowry levels.. sky high.
:rotfl: or not enter the marriage :torture:
Phoenix CG
30-03-07, 10:12 PM
Thought you weren't allowed to do that.
more like being used on the girls part...she should not let it happen..show the man her worth. lol
Interesting...not that i support it, to be honest this is the first i hear of this issue as it doesnt happen in my side of town.
however hmm mutya is a temp agreement no? and this misyar thing u mention Bint, seems like a part time fix correct me if am wrong, but am i right to assume, the girl stays at home, and the husband doesnt financially support her because
a) they dont have a home
b) he doesnt have adequate income.
so untill he does she remains in the safety of her home.
also the marriage is a permanent agreement, so by default in essence cant be compared to mutya as the major distingtion of mutya as i understand it is its temporary status?
having said all this, am assuming the couple agree on the arrangement u have mentioned so as to protect their chastity?
if am correct, i cant say i disagree with that. that is if the case for a particular couple is as i have stated.
non the less it isnt ideal.
i personally would like to leave the nest the traditional old skool way
but hey...............
ukti perhaps u can go into more detail for those of us who dont know the ins and outs of how this misyar thing works. also tell me if my presumptions are on point or not..
peace be upon those who follow the guidance.
ur_yusra
30-03-07, 10:17 PM
There is no such thing as a 'misyar' marriage.. who came up with this terminology? If both of them are studying then they do the nikah the normal way.. live apart on some occassions, live together on some occassions and move in together when they can afford to.
She doesn't need to cook for him or anything, stays at home with her parents.. sounds ok.
i dont know much about misyar..but my heart doesnt incline towards it..halal or not..
im just waiting for this brother to reply..inshaAllah..will know better.
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:29 PM
great just great :smack: i open the thread on mpac to see medievilists..replies on pleasure marriages on misyar n muta. :rolleyes: now i know why u wanna have this convo..
1. Ideally all marriages should include pleasure. The use of pleasure marriages to refer to misyaar is a cheap ploy to try and turn the readers mind against the marriage. This use of language to subconsciously influence the reader in a negative manner has been noted and the intelligent reader will take note that it is a superficial use of terminology - ideally all marriages should be pleasureable.
misyar is a marriage wherupon a guy gets maried to the girl..she stays at her own home..with her parents or whatnot..she does not get supported by her 'husband' and basically they meet each other whenever they want wherever they want..
i dont agree with it because..these marriages are their to satisfy sexual pleasure in a cheap way...am i correct to say that these women dont get dowry? arent financially supported..but then again..this sort of marriage has been INTRODUCED for the poor people..and now has been used by those who are studying..travelling etc to satisfy their desires....it kind of sums down to mutah to me.:rolleyes:
The respected sister is confusing the issue. The only thing that is standard in misyar is that the bride forgoes some of her rights voluntarily.
Let us look at the conditions for nikah:
1. 2 mature male witnesses
2. The willing consent of bride and groom
3. The giving of a dowry.
In Misyar these conditions have to be met - it is valid as a nikah. It is not the same as mut'a as mut'a is:
1. time-specific
2. requires no witness
3. can be arranged for a price
Looking at misyar objectively we can see it is a halal nikah because there is no stipulation that it is time-limited. If later divorce is issued by the husband then this cannot be grounds to declare misyar religiously abhorrent as many "normal" nikahs also unfortunately end in divorce.
What is misyar?
In misyar the bride waives some of her rights. It is her liberty to decide what she waives:
1. she may waive her right to maintenance
2. she may waive her right to equal time allocation
3. she may waive her right to accomodation
4. she may waive her right to a dowry if she wishes - although the ulama are in disagreement whether such a forfeiture is valid.
But basically in misyar she, herself, of her own free-will and pleasure waives the right - this is stipulated in the marriage contract either verbally or in the presence of witnesses.
So case scenario:
Woman is wealthy and requires to marry but for whatever reason does not require her husband to maintain her financially but wants equal time. She stipulates that she forgives her right to maintenance and is married. He must give her equal time but is freed from her maintenance. Misyar marriage.
Case 2.
Woman does not desire to demand equal timings but still wants her right to maintenance. She stipulates this in the contract, it is agreed upon. Henceforth the husband must maintain her equally on par with his other brides but is not bound to visit her on equal time as other wives. Misyar marriage.
The ulama have discussed this in great detail - Shaykh ibn Baaz rahimahullah has discussed the topic in depth and his fataawah on it have caste great light for many.
Those who have any problems with misyar have either not understood or wish to remain aloof from something which is clear cut.
The final proof that the ulama provide for a type of misyaar marriage is from the sunnah of Nabi Muhammad :saw:
This is mentioned lastly by myself but it is the strongest proof in regards to the validity of such a marriage as nothing is more conclusive upon us than the 'amal of Huzuur :saw:
Nabi :saw: at one point was considering divorcing Ummul Mu'mineen Sawdah radhiyallahu anha. In response Ummul Mu'mineen radhiyallahu anha forfeited her day and night in favour of Ummul Mu'mineen Aisha radhiyallahu anha and Nabi :saw: kept Her in His Nikah.
Here - where the Noble Bride herself willingly forfeits a right of hers and forgives it upon Her Noble Husband :saw: - we see that a person doing such a thing in a marriage is neither abominable not disliked.
ur_yusra
30-03-07, 10:31 PM
1. Ideally all marriages should include pleasure. The use of pleasure marriages to refer to misyaar is a cheap ploy to try and turn the readers mind against the marriage. This use of language to subconsciously influence the reader in a negative manner has been noted and the intelligent reader will take note that it is a superficial use of terminology - ideally all marriages should be pleasureable.
The respected sister is confusing the issue. The only thing that is standard in misyar is that the bride forgoes some of her rights voluntarily.
Let us look at the conditions for nikah:
1. 2 mature male witnesses
2. The willing consent of bride and groom
3. The giving of a dowry.
In Misyar these conditions have to be met - it is valid as a nikah. It is not the same as mut'a as mut'a is:
1. time-specific
2. requires no witness
3. can be arranged for a price
Looking at misyar objectively we can see it is a halal nikah because there is no stipulation that it is time-limited. If later divorce is issued by the husband then this cannot be grounds to declare misyar religiously abhorrent as many "normal" nikahs also unfortunately end in divorce.
What is misyar?
In misyar the bride waives some of her rights. It is her liberty to decide what she waives:
1. she may waive her right to maintenance
2. she may waive her right to equal time allocation
3. she may waive her right to accomodation
4. she may waive her right to a dowry if she wishes - although the ulama are in disagreement whether such a forfeiture is valid.
But basically in misyar she, herself, of her own free-will and pleasure waives the right - this is stipulated in the marriage contract either verbally or in the presence of witnesses.
So case scenario:
Woman is wealthy and requires to marry but for whatever reason does not require her husband to maintain her financially but wants equal time. She stipulates that she forgives her right to maintenance and is married. He must give her equal time but is freed from her maintenance. Misyar marriage.
Case 2.
Woman does not desire to demand equal timings but still wants her right to maintenance. She stipulates this in the contract, it is agreed upon. Henceforth the husband must maintain her equally on par with his other brides but is not bound to visit her on equal time as other wives. Misyar marriage.
The ulama have discussed this in great detail - Shaykh ibn Baaz rahimahullah has discussed the topic in depth and his fataawah on it have caste great light for many.
Those who have any problems with misyar have either not understood or wish to remain aloof from something which is clear cut.
The final proof that the ulama provide for a type of misyaar marriage is from the sunnah of Nabi Muhammad :saw:
This is mentioned lastly by myself but it is the strongest proof in regards to the validity of such a marriage as nothing is more conclusive upon us than the 'amal of Huzuur :saw:
Nabi :saw: at one point was considering divorcing Ummul Mu'mineen Sawdah radhiyallahu anha. In response Ummul Mu'mineen radhiyallahu anha forfeited her day and night in favour of Ummul Mu'mineen Aisha radhiyallahu anha and Nabi :saw: kept Her in His Nikah.
Here - where the Noble Bride herself willingly forfeits a right of hers and forgives it upon Her Noble Husband :saw: - we see that a person doing such a thing in a marriage is neither abominable not disliked.
What rights does he forego? you know.. the husband.. the man.
so misyar is basically ...a woman waives her rights..whereas the man..does what she tells him to do..
ps at the beginning when i mentioned pleasurable..it was referring to the thread on mpac..
its a sunnah..and its just been introduced..recently..interesting.
okay answr this..u mentioned how a misyar marriage works..why is it that people abuse this and marry whilst in a diff country? i mean..when they are travellin or on business what not./.? can they keep this marriage a secret?
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:38 PM
What rights does he forego? you know.. the husband.. the man.
The specifics of the nikahnama are upon the bride. She decides what she wants to keep, what she wants to forgive - he is bound to agree by it.
The wording can be played another way - I was writing it from the point of a woman in authority. With the bride deciding what she wants to claim and what she wants to forfeit because the nikah is her prerogative, just as the talaq is his.
So: Case one.
Woman is wealthy and requires to marry but for whatever reason does not require her husband to maintain her financially but wants equal time. She stipulates that she forgives her right to maintenance and is married. He must give her equal time but is freed from her maintenance. Misyar marriage.
This can be equally termed. A man marries a wealthy woman but requests in the nikah that she free him from maintaining her but does not request to be free from equality in time-allocation. In this instance - he must still provide her equal time but is no longer obligated to maintain her - but if she changes her mind and demands equality in maintenance also - then the ulama again are on disagreement on this but the majority opinion is that he is bound to give her her rights which she voluntarily gave up, if he is unable to do this then she can sue for khula or faskh.
ur_yusra
30-03-07, 10:40 PM
^^ oh ok I get you.. :up: .. so basically.. its a mans world.
Chained_Water
30-03-07, 10:42 PM
Bro the example you give of the prophet(saw)s wife Sawdah(ra) does not really go with this.. because that incident happened much later in their marriage, it was not a condition of the marriage or something contracted at the time of marriage.. so dont see how you can use it..
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:42 PM
so misyar is basically ...a woman waives her rights..whereas the man..does what she tells him to do..
ps at the beginning when i mentioned pleasurable..it was referring to the thread on mpac..
its a sunnah..and its just been introduced..recently..interesting.
okay answr this..u mentioned how a misyar marriage works..why is it that people abuse this and marry whilst in a diff country? i mean..when they are travellin or on business what not./.? can they keep this marriage a secret?
Lady - people abuse arranged marriages, love marriages, marriages of convenience, visa marriages.
Just because people abuse a system - doesnt mean the system is wrong.
Also - it is not necessary that marriage in a different country whilst working/studying there is misyaar. He may well marry her and maintain her but in the back of his mind his intention is to only keep her until it is convenient for him, or even it may be "agreed" that he will probably divorce her when it is no longer convenient for him.
In this nikah even - the ulama are differed. As far as I am aware no alim has recommended this as morally stainless nikah but hold deep reservations against it - especially if a man or the couple both go into with an inkling that it is temporary. Yet even here - we have some eminent Muftis stating that looking at the concept of lesser of two evils - it is better for a man to have a halal nikah with a woman in a foreign country than for fornication to be committed and there is no guarantee that they will definitely divorce, rather we should keep the hope that they will incline towards one another and they stay married.
Lady - people abuse arranged marriages, love marriages, marriages of convenience, visa marriages.
Just because people abuse a system - doesnt mean the system is wrong.
Also - it is not necessary that marriage in a different country whilst working/studying there is misyaar. He may well marry her and maintain her but in the back of his mind his intention is to only keep her until it is convenient for him, or even it may be "agreed" that he will probably divorce her when it is no longer convenient for him.
In this nikah even - the ulama are differed. As far as I am aware no alim has recommended this as morally stainless nikah but hold deep reservations against it - especially if a man or the couple both go into with an inkling that it is temporary. Yet even here - we have some eminent Muftis stating that looking at the concept of lesser of two evils - it is better for a man to have a halal nikah with a woman in a foreign country than for fornication to be committed and there is no guarantee that they will definitely divorce, rather we should keep the hope that they will incline towards one another and they stay married.
so..if hes going to incline towards fornication then it is better he has a halal marriage..and even then it is not determined that his intentions are that he shud stay with her..and not intend to dispose of her when in no need?
convince me otherwise cos this is wrong.
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:48 PM
^^ oh ok I get you.. :up: .. so basically.. its a mans world.
actually its a womans - she is the one who puts the conditions. The man HAS to treat her with her rights - its her choice to give them up. No-one forces her.
Can you give an example of what rights a man has over his wife? And why he would care to waive them? Im being sincere here btw.
Bro the example you give of the prophet(saw)s wife Sawdah(ra) does not really go with this.. because that incident happened much later in their marriage, it was not a condition of the marriage or something contracted at the time of marriage.. so dont see how you can use it..
Undoubtedly this occurred later in Their Holy Nikah. No denying that. However, the mere fact that it happened later does not negate the core facts - Ummul Mu'mineen waived some of Her Rights and Nabi :saw: did not object or advise against it.
The case is clear - when the bride of her own free-will waives her rights then there can be no third-party to interfere. It is a domestic affair.
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:50 PM
so..if hes going to incline towards fornication then it is better he has a halal marriage..and even then it is not determined that his intentions are that he shud stay with her..and not intend to dispose of her when in no need?
convince me otherwise cos this is wrong.
Im not here to convince you on this - not least because its a different topic and unrelated to misyar.
But the Muftis are in ikhtilaaf on this issue.
how can it be unrelated to misyar?
i mean..misyar was introduced..people took advantage and used it..with wrong intentions..which is why i cant seem to agree with it.
oh i just appreciate how my post was ignored.
nevermind non the less, following the thread so far, has answered some of my questions--i think:rolleyes:
Medievalist
30-03-07, 10:58 PM
how can it be unrelated to misyar?
i mean..misyar was introduced..people took advantage and used it..with wrong intentions..which is why i cant seem to agree with it.
But then why do you not have a problem with a normal nikah?
You should also not agree with that.
And like I said - misyar wasnt "introduced". Its only become more widely-known now and been given a media label.
I'll give an example.
The Kitabs of Hanafi Madhab mention that a man cannot stay away from his housepeople for more than 4 months. It is her right that he spend one night with her MINIMUM in a four month period. However - he can spend more time away from her IF she agrees to it. Why do you not object on a husband being away from his wife for more than four months in this instance then?
We also know that its a wife's right in regards to marital relations that if the husband is muqeem then she is entitled to conjugal relations once ever four nights. If she does not demand it every four nights then why no big hue and cry? Because we understand that such matters are a domestic issue - the fuqaha have mentioned the mas'aail so the rights of the spouses are known and so injustice is not committed - yet if they choose to demand their rights or choose to forgive and forgoe - we appreciate that it is THEIR business. not ours.
Chained_Water
30-03-07, 10:58 PM
actually its a womans - she is the one who puts the conditions. The man HAS to treat her with her rights - its her choice to give them up. No-one forces her.
Can you give an example of what rights a man has over his wife? And why he would care to waive them? Im being sincere here btw.
Undoubtedly this occurred later in Their Holy Nikah. No denying that. However, the mere fact that it happened later does not negate the core facts - Ummul Mu'mineen waived some of Her Rights and Nabi :saw: did not object or advise against it.
The case is clear - when the bride of her own free-will waives her rights then there can be no third-party to interfere. It is a domestic affair.
Yes but there was no contract. You may waive rights for a while or in a certain circumstance.. but they are God-given rights so you do still have them.
Would be ok for a man to waive his right of divorce in a nikkah? :S
Medievalist
30-03-07, 11:05 PM
Yes but there was no contract. You may waive rights for a while or in a certain circumstance.. but they are God-given rights so you do still have them.
Would be ok for a man to waive his right of divorce in a nikkah? :S
MashaALLAH perfect example.
The ulama who state that should the bride later decide to reclaim her rights then the husband must either grant them or free her use the above example to support their arguement.
As a man is given the right by the shari'ah to divorce his wife - he can never engage in a contract which permanently deprives him of that right and if such a contract is enterred it is invalid - he is only bound by his oath to observe it - religiously its the words which bind him, not the actual contract. And if he breaks the oath/contract and divorces her then the divorce will stand as it is a religious right BUT he will be liable for kaffaarah tazeer for breach of oath and breach contract - his divorce will however still be valid.
The ulama who say she can reclaim her rights at any time - citing the above example - state that the rights to:
1. maintenance
2. equal time-allocation
3. accomodation
etc
are integral parts of the nikah and she can reclaim them at any time and he must cough up. And this is the opinion that we were taught to make 'amal upon as at the very least it is the ruling of taqwa that when a lady demands the rights she is entitled to under a normal nikah - they be fulfilled.
Can the husband waive his right to divorce?
No - as mentioned above.
But he CAN grant HER the right to divorce herself and again the ulama are in ikhtilaaf whether this right can be reclaimed or not. Some say that once he has given her the right to divorce herself then he cannot at a later stage take it back and that right will remain with her, other ulama state that he verbally needs to utter that he revokes his granting her permission to divorce herself and this is sufficient. However this raises the theological problem that if he can at any time revoke his permission for her to divorce herself then there is no substance to him granting it in the first place - because immediately after nikah he could in theory revoke his permission. This mas'ala is quite a detailed one - the ulama state pretty much unanimously that if has granted her the right to divorce herself, and then she divorces herself from him and THEN he verbally revokes the permission or says that he had revoked the permission and their is no evidence to back it up then she has divorced herself as per his permission and he has lost her.
But this is offtop :o
nb- the above is perhaps unclear :o - he can give her the right to divorce herself but at the same time that right still remains with himself. Its not like he passes the right over to her and loses it himself
heaven2002
31-03-07, 09:29 AM
We also know that its a wife's right in regards to marital relations that if the husband is muqeem then she is entitled to conjugal relations once ever four nights. .
first ive heard of this as a wife's right :scratch:
what does muqeem mean? and where does it state that this is a right?
Medievalist
31-03-07, 10:05 AM
first ive heard of this as a wife's right :scratch:
what does muqeem mean? and where does it state that this is a right?
1. As a man may have four wives - some of the kitabs of fiqh state that she is entitled to demand conjugal relations once every four nights.
2. Muqeem means resident/non-traveller.
3. This has been stated in the some of the hanafi fiqh kitabs.
Peacenik
31-03-07, 12:27 PM
This is getting too complicated (sorry)...
i think the debates over..
jazaKAllah khayr to all those that contributed..and to med also.
If a man cannot provide for a wife and kids, he should not get married until he is able to do so. He should fast instead. Also, temporary marriages are not permitted in Islam.
If a man cannot provide for a wife and kids, he should not get married. He should fast instead. Also, temporary marriages are not permitted in Islam.
exactly!..nyc one asmara
Medievalist
02-04-07, 04:10 PM
If a man cannot provide for a wife and kids, he should not get married until he is able to do so. He should fast instead. Also, temporary marriages are not permitted in Islam.
exactly!..nyc one asmara
Exactly what? :scratch:
1. Its been mentioned before that misyaar is not time-limited.
2. Its the WOMAN who decides to waive her rights and as mentioned before when she wants them back she can demand them so why are the ladies making out its the men who are in the wrong?
Woman says: You dont need to buy me a house.
Husband: Ok.
Other women: OI Man, why you cant control yourself? rant rant rant. Buy her a house
:wacko:
if a man cant provide..then dont get married..simple.
Medievalist
02-04-07, 04:13 PM
if a man cant provide..then dont get married..simple.
Bint - seroiusly are you trying to be illogical or irrational or what?
If he can afford or not isnt part of the equation - she says she doesnt want it.
seriously I dunno what to say :rubeyes:
Bint - seroiusly are you trying to be illogical or irrational or what?
If he can afford or not isnt part of the equation - she says she doesnt want it.
seriously I dunno what to say :rubeyes:
illogical and irrational?
hell this marriage type doesnt set straight with me..doesnt agree with me.
but i guess if its allowed in islam..i have no say.
end of convo.
ibn suleman
02-04-07, 04:17 PM
seriously I dunno what to say :rubeyes:
women will do that to ya :p :D
Medievalist
02-04-07, 04:20 PM
illogical and irrational?
hell this marriage type doesnt set straight with me..doesnt agree with me.
but i guess if its allowed in islam..i have no say.
end of convo.
mashaALLAH - thats all you needed to say dustbint :up:
women will do that to ya :p :D
Bro dont I knw it. :rolleyes:
heaven2002
02-04-07, 04:30 PM
if a woman voluntarily gives up her rights then as long as it doesnt invalidate her marriage then i think thats ok
its between husband and wife
Brother Medievalist has explained Misyaar (marriage) very well.
If I may add:
1. Misyaar is not a temporary marriage contract.
2. In April 2006 the MWL Fiqh Academy in Makkah dicussed various types of contemporary marriages, they declared that misyaar is legal according to Islamic law. Marriage (nikkah) is a legal contract in Islamic law between two individuals. If all the requirements of this legal contract are fulfilled then the marriage is valid from a legal (Shariah) point of view.
In Saudi Arabia misyaar marriages are registered like other normal/routine marriages with witnesses.
Since the ruling of the MWL Fiqh Academy interest in misyaar marriages has increased.
3. The original word was actually maisar (asli haroof being yaa seen raa) which means wealth but it has been transformed (in grammar terminiology this is the concept of qullab) into misyaar and some people mistakenly translate this into “travellers” marriage thinking the asli haroof are seen yaa raa. Misyaar in this context means wealth. (You won’t find this is the dictionary.)
Wassalaam, A.H.
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