View Full Version : Celibate marriages
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:02 AM
ok..i think thats what it called where the nikah is done..but the couple dont move in together or consumate the marriage..
so for those that are ready but not ready for marriage thats what u shud do :p
ok..i think thats what it called where the nikah is done..but the couple dont move in together or consumate the marriage..
so for those that are ready but not ready for marriage thats what u shud do :p
That just sounds dodgy man! :S
YOu need to find someone before you can even do that! :rolleyes:
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:10 AM
That just sounds dodgy man! :S
YOu need to find someone before you can even do that! :rolleyes:
lol..obviously :smack: :p
souljaa
16-03-07, 10:11 AM
Shouldn't this be in the bros room?:1popcorn:
lol..obviously :smack: :p
FORGET THAT! i wana find him, marry him AND move in with him!
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:15 AM
Shouldn't this be in the bros room?:1popcorn:
hmm dunno..shud it?
FORGET THAT! i wana find him, marry him AND move in with him!
insha'allah u will..
ok..wait i think this is what the engagement shud be..if its going to be a long engagement.... hence to make any communication between the spouses halal.
hmm dunno..shud it?
insha'allah u will..
ok..wait i think this is what the engagement shud be..if its going to be a long engagement.... hence to make any communication between the spouses halal.
ppfft! Well whoever he was i wish he'd hurry up! This sabr business is hard :p loool.. no really inshaAllah im sure i will.
IN that case i would totally agree! People for whom its not convenient to move in with each other should atleast have the nikkah done because then meeting etc is all halaal! I can imagine it being vry tempting to continuously meet with the perons youre engaged to. To avoid this fitnah its best to have nikkah done :)
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:22 AM
ppfft! Well whoever he was i wish he'd hurry up! This sabr business is hard :p loool.. no really inshaAllah im sure i will.
IN that case i would totally agree! People for whom its not convenient to move in with each other should atleast have the nikkah done because then meeting etc is all halaal! I can imagine it being vry tempting to continuously meet with the perons youre engaged to. To avoid this fitnah its best to have nikkah done :)
:up: yeh thats what i was trying to say..i think :scratch:
:up: yeh thats what i was trying to say..i think :scratch:
:rolleyes: dont sound too certain- you only started the thread!
Al-Irhaab
16-03-07, 10:31 AM
why not get the nikah done and consumate the marriage aswell even if u cant live together :scratch:
why not get the nikah done and consumate the marriage aswell even if u cant live together :scratch:
:wacko: some serious whaackkk peeps about dude!!
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:36 AM
:rolleyes: dont sound too certain- you only started the thread!
:scratch:
why not get the nikah done and consumate the marriage aswell even if u cant live together :scratch:
cos if u do that then ur obligated to provide each others rights...like husband would have to provide housing etc..and the wife would have to obey the husband..
Al-Irhaab
16-03-07, 10:43 AM
:scratch:
cos if u do that then ur obligated to provide each others rights...like husband would have to provide housing etc..and the wife would have to obey the husband..
even if u dont ur still obliged to provide her housing and she is obliged to obey u :smack:
and also the wife can drop her right to housing for a lil while and the husband can not order the wife around if they both agree :rolleyes:
ur so stupid man go to the bros forum :smack:
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 10:50 AM
even if u dont ur still obliged to provide her housing and she is obliged to obey u :smack:
and also the wife can drop her right to housing for a lil while and the husband can not order the wife around if they both agree :rolleyes:
ur so stupid man go to the bros forum :smack:
:smack:
there are other reasons as well...why a couple would want to do that, i just used examples
muslim_sis
16-03-07, 10:54 AM
:scratch:
cos if u do that then ur obligated to provide each others rights...like husband would have to provide housing etc..and the wife would have to obey the husband..
yeh but that is marriage , even if u do 'just' the nikah, that means ur married, u both now have rights and responsibilities as husband and wife...u dont only become accountable as a husband after u consumate :S !
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 11:00 AM
yeh but that is marriage , even if u do 'just' the nikah, that means ur married, u both now have rights and responsibilities as husband and wife...u dont only become accountable as a husband after u consumate :S !
no but as far as i know there are certain aspects that are different before and after consumation..
like the marriage of Muhammad s.a.w and Aisha r.a.
hmmm :scratch:
muslim_sis
16-03-07, 11:03 AM
no but as far as i know there are certain aspects that are different before and after consumation..
like the marriage of Muhammad s.a.w and Aisha r.a.
hmmm :scratch:
true, never thought about that example, but then she hadn't reach the age of puberty,so ?
&
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam at all.”
[but explain ur point ...?]
muslim_sis
16-03-07, 11:05 AM
ok..wait i think this is what the engagement shud be..if its going to be a long engagement.... hence to make any communication between the spouses halal.
new term - halal engagement ? meaning when u do nikah but live seperately ???
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 11:11 AM
true, never thought about that example, but then she hadn't reach the age of puberty,so ?
&
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam at all.”
[but explain ur point ...?]
^the hadith is referiing to monks who remain celibate for all their life...
what i'm talking about is for a short period time, (eg. engagement time)
lol..i shuda used halal engagement..there wudnt have been this confusion :smack:
ok..as far as i know... the right of the wife to maintence from the husband is not until after consummation..anyone know otherwise???
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 11:36 AM
FORGET THAT! i wana find him, marry him AND move in with him!
Whoa there, Lightning!
But... yeah... I'd be the same :o
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 01:17 PM
:scratch:
cos if u do that then ur obligated to provide each others rights...like husband would have to provide housing etc..and the wife would have to obey the husband..
Yeh.. that's correct.. if the husband doesn't provide for her then scholars have said she does not have to consumate.
ummbilal
16-03-07, 01:20 PM
ok..i think thats what it called where the nikah is done..but the couple dont move in together or consumate the marriage..
so for those that are ready but not ready for marriage thats what u shud do :p
the marriage isnt celibate though as they intend to consummate it or may do so elsewhere..mashallah
the wedding idea is good though
ummbilal
16-03-07, 01:20 PM
Yeh.. that's correct.. if the husband doesn't provide for her then scholars have said she does not have to consumate.
which scholars?
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 01:23 PM
Yeh.. that's correct.. if the husband doesn't provide for her then scholars have said she does not have to consumate.
thats what i thought..
the marriage isnt celibate though as they intend to consummate it or may do so elsewhere..mashallah
the wedding idea is good though
i know..but up until consummation it is celibate..
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 01:41 PM
which scholars?
Shaykh Hatham for one.
sapphire_blue
16-03-07, 01:48 PM
I think it's a good idea just should've been put out in a different way.
Instead of having a engagement, the couple should have the nikah, and like ibn suleman says any contact between the two is now halal. Because these days some people think because they are now engaged they are allowed to go out with each other, be with each other in private, touch each other, this idea would save all this sin, InshaAllah.
And if they then want a big bash - then when the girl officialy goes to the guys house to live they can have the bash then.
Kinda like a ruksati . . .
:up:
Ibn Khattab
16-03-07, 02:33 PM
FORGET THAT! i wana find him, marry him AND move in with him!
i swear your a boy :S
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 02:44 PM
Let's hope not. Or her future husband will be very disappointed.
I'm assume she's ridiculously young, or something. Hence the hormonal overload :p
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 02:55 PM
is that even allowed.. im sure marriage has to be consumated within 3 days
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 02:56 PM
ok after readin some more psost ..
this should be closed
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 02:56 PM
is that even allowed.. im sure marriage has to be consumated within 3 days
No it doesnt.
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 02:59 PM
:s
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 02:59 PM
No it doesnt.
generally it does.. in specicfic situations maybe has diffrent rulings
but with everyhting there isa general hukm and then specific hukm..
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:02 PM
generally it does.. in specicfic situations maybe has diffrent rulings
but with everyhting there isa general hukm and then specific hukm..
Where does it say you must consumate your marriage within three days?
Did not the Prophet (SAW) marry umm habiba (RA) at long distance?
Phoenix CG
16-03-07, 03:04 PM
Hmm I don't think talking about consumating marriage with the non mehrams is normal.
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 03:05 PM
Where does it say you must consumate your marriage within three days?
Did not the Prophet (SAW) marry umm habiba (RA) at long distance?
did he?? not sure
il find out for you been 3 years since i got married cant remember the hukms by heart anymore :o
did research back then
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:05 PM
Hmm I don't think talking about consumating marriage with the non mehrams is normal.
Sorry?
sapphire_blue
16-03-07, 03:07 PM
is that even allowed.. im sure marriage has to be consumated within 3 days
But it's a ruksati so it doesn't . . .
Phoenix CG
16-03-07, 03:08 PM
Sorry?
Check a dictionary.
Peacenik
16-03-07, 03:09 PM
:rofl1:
:D
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:11 PM
Check a dictionary.
And your purpose for that comment is? I mean if you're talking about haya.. then discussing islamic issues is far better then the thread you made regarding al ghurabas signature which to everyones relief has thankfully been thrown in the garbage where it belongs.
Where does it say you must consumate your marriage within three days?
I've never heard that, as many people do their nikah and then live together at a later date.
:scratch: didn't the Prophet(saws) live with one of his wives after three years of marriage?
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:13 PM
I've never heard that, as many people do their nikah and then live together at a later date.
:scratch: didn't the Prophet(saws) live with one of his wives after three years of marriage?
Its just a line that men use..
Its just a line that men use..
What is?
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:15 PM
What is?
you must consumate your marriage within three days
Phoenix CG
16-03-07, 03:16 PM
And your purpose for that comment is? I mean if you're talking about haya.. then discussing islamic issues is far better then the thread you made regarding al ghurabas signature which to everyones relief has thankfully been thrown in the garbage where it belongs.
It was if you didn't understand my post then rather than me explaining it here, you could see what I meant, you wrote "sorry?" after all. Leading me to believe you didn't understand my post. No offence intended, and that post, with Al Ghuraba did that seem remotely serious to you? :rubeyes:
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 03:17 PM
It was if you didn't understand my post then rather than me explaining it here, you could see what I meant, you wrote "sorry?" after all. Leading me to believe you didn't understand my post. No offence intended, and that post, with Al Ghuraba did that seem remotely serious to you? :rubeyes:
No.. it was just plain rude and uncalled for..
Phoenix CG
16-03-07, 03:19 PM
What check a dictionary? You took it rudely...I actually meant look for the meaning because I don't want to explain it...
you must consumate your marriage within three days
I have never ever heard of that. Allahu Alim. You can not consumate your marriage until husband and wife are living together and as the initial post stated amny perform their nikah first and therefore it is unlikely that people would.
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 03:20 PM
No.. it was just plain rude and uncalled for..
sis calm down i knew about the post it was just a joke.. i know the brother he was messing around..
also you said its a line men use..
you accsuing men of making things up cos the yfeel like it.. subhannalh this is what i herd you have to within 1st 3 nighst or its invalid.. like isaid have some sabre il find out evidence for you
if im wrong then im wrong
Peacenik
16-03-07, 03:22 PM
sis calm down
Many sisters in this Forum need to calm down.
Seriously.
Many sisters in this Forum need to calm down.
Seriously.
I think it apllies to both brothers and sisters, as there is a lot of random fitnah, i.e. being rude, ptting one another down, arguing, being agressive; the point we should remember is that people follow different schools of thoughts, imams, scholars and therefore there will be disagreements but we should have akhlaq and respect one another no matter what. Allahu Alim.
Peacenik
16-03-07, 03:34 PM
I think it's because there's a lot of children here - we must be patient.
I think it's because there's a lot of children here - we must be patient.
:nono: don't patrionise people.
Peacenik
16-03-07, 03:36 PM
pot, kettle, black ?
:rolleyes:
pot, kettle, black ?
:rolleyes:
:rubeyes: What? me! I never ever do! how?
sis calm down i knew about the post it was just a joke.. i know the brother he was messing around..
also you said its a line men use..
you accsuing men of making things up cos the yfeel like it.. subhannalh this is what i herd you have to within 1st 3 nighst or its invalid.. like isaid have some sabre il find out evidence for you
if im wrong then im wrong
wht :rubeyes:
the prophet :saw: did not consummate his marriage with Aisha (r.a) till some years after the marriage
wht :rubeyes:
the prophet :saw: did not consummate his marriage with Aisha (r.a) till some years after the marriage
:o see that's what i was talking about but i couldn't remember if it was Aisha(ra) or not :smack:
anti-minger
16-03-07, 03:47 PM
I think it apllies to both brothers and sisters, as there is a lot of random fitnah, i.e. being rude, ptting one another down, arguing, being agressive; the point we should remember is that people follow different schools of thoughts, imams, scholars and therefore there will be disagreements but we should have akhlaq and respect one another no matter what. Allahu Alim.
oh please.
the word akhlaaq has been rinsed out on here. we're all adults here (well most of us) we don't need to speak to each other like kids.
it is our right to advise bros/sisters who are following deivant paths we can't just let it be.
anyway from what i've seen not many people on here like discussing different ideologies.
good day.
oh please.
the word akhlaaq has been rinsed out on here. we're all adults here (well most of us) we don't need to speak to each other like kids.
it is our right to advise bros/sisters who are following deivant paths we can't just let it be.
anyway from what i've seen not many people on here like discussing different ideologies.
good day.
:rolleyes: Yes so 'rinsed out' (s you put it) that perhaps people would start having some.
No one's saying to speak to one another like we are children but you can say things in a polite manner.
Al-ghurabah
16-03-07, 03:52 PM
:icon_offtopic:
anti-minger
16-03-07, 03:57 PM
:rolleyes: Yes so 'rinsed out' (s you put it) that perhaps people would start having some.
No one's saying to speak to one another like we are children but you can say things in a polite manner.
yes rinsed out by people who don't even know the root meaning of the word.
and when people don't like a certain answer,they reply with the line
say it with akhlaq :rolleyes:
Al-Irhaab
16-03-07, 03:59 PM
i was reading somewhere that the prophet (Saw) taught the muslims that it was not the sign of a believer that when he or she is informed of something that they do wrong that they draw attention to what the person telling them has done wrong in the past...and allah (Swt) knows best
yes rinsed out by people who don't even know the root meaning of the word.
and when people don't like a certain answer,they reply with the line
say it with akhlaq :rolleyes:
If people did not the meaning of a word I am sure they would not use it. As Al-ghurabah said this is off the topic so let us not corrupt another thread.
anti-minger
16-03-07, 04:05 PM
i only advised on one thread which if you feel is corruption
fair enough.
i only advised on one thread which if you feel is corruption
fair enough.
It is going off the point again, as that was not the purpose of the thread.
Al-Irhaab
16-03-07, 04:07 PM
wht :rubeyes:
the prophet :saw: did not consummate his marriage with Aisha (r.a) till some years after the marriage
perhaps that was because aisha (Ra) did not reach the age of maturity until then?
not that im saying u must consumate it in three days... but i know that some people say u do...
Medievalist
16-03-07, 05:50 PM
Ibn Suleman bro you funnay :rotfl:
i swear your a boy :S
:) YOU'RE (sorry- have a habit of correcting) :p
SubhanAllah i dont know why you think that and i apologise if how i said something came across indecent or wrong. All i meant by my statement is that marriage to me is about actually being with the person. I understand that different people have different circumstances- but my point was, that i would only agree to get married with the concrete intention of living with my spouse inshaAllah. The idea of just having a nikkah and then having to prolong being a family unit together is not one that appeals to me.
If what i said came across immature (im young yes but not immature) :p or came across "hormonal" or whatever else the suggestion was- then again i apologise- that was not the intention.
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:07 PM
I can't imagine having been keen to get married when I was your age.
Then again, back then I was agnostic and a boy :p
I can't imagine having been keen to get married when I was your age.
Then again, back then I was agnostic and a boy :p
Bro- is this to me? lol. You dont even know how old i am,.,., do you?:rolleyes: and its perfectly natural isnt it? To want a halaal relationship and not get sucked in by th fitnah that surrounds you. Dont get me wrong- the idea of marriage and being with someone in order to complete ones deen and have love, support and companionship is all very appealing and welcomed- but at the same time Allah has prescribed a time for it all- so its not something to worry about and instead we just ask for sabr and to be guided to the one who is good for us in this duniyah and the Akhirah inshaAllah! :)
(im a girlll dammit)! :p
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:16 PM
Tis true. But I doubt I'd be far off if I said you were in your teens.
Which is precisely when I wouldn't have thought of getting married.
How times change :D
Tis true. But I doubt I'd be far off if I said you were in your teens.
Which is precisely when I wouldn't have thought of getting married.
How times change :D
:rofl1: i didnt even see the last sentence! :p
Im not in my teens! :p ssheesh.
Medievalist
16-03-07, 06:19 PM
(im a girlll dammit)! :p
methinks the "lady" doth protest too much - shakespeare
hmmmmm:rolleyes:
methinks the "lady" doth protest too much - shakespeare
hmmmmm:rolleyes:
loooooll! That reminds me of something! :p
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:22 PM
Yeah, I added that last bit to clarify things.
Twenties?
You're not a really precocious 10 year old, are you? :confused:
Yeah, I added that last bit to clarify things.
Twenties?
You're not a really precocious 10 year old, are you? :confused:
mwahahaha thats just freaky bro! :rubeyes:
early (very) twenties would be right! :D
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:26 PM
And you haven't found a brother you fancy settling down and raising little Zesties with?
:(
And you haven't found a brother you fancy settling down and raising little Zesties with?
:(
lllllllllooooooooooollll im sure when the time is right- Allah (swt) will guide me to the right man. (little zesties- my god, sounds so weird)!
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:37 PM
InshaAllah.
Are you a born Muslim or a revert? Because, as a revert myself I'm all too familiar with the problems of finding a suitable partner
Celibate or not. To get the thread back OT
urban_rose
16-03-07, 06:45 PM
lllllllllooooooooooollll im sure when the time is right- Allah (swt) will guide me to the right man. (little zesties- my god, sounds so weird)!
:inlove: lil zesties, that sounds so cute :love:
InshaAllah.
Are you a born Muslim or a revert? Because, as a revert myself I'm all too familiar with the problems of finding a suitable partner
Celibate or not. To get the thread back OT
Well- we are all born muslim bro :) but yes Alhamdullilah i know what you mean. Im not a revert. Bro, youre from leicester right? Theres alot of revert muslim bros and sisters in Leicester! Have you tried talking to your local imaam? I'll see if i can get you in touch with anyone inshaAllah who might be able to help you.
eermm celibacy has no place in Islam right? so thats not what the thread it about right?
Rosey! looooollll... if you say so :o
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 06:50 PM
I did, but I think his English is maybe not too good.
Do you know the Al Falah Masjid on Keythorpe Street? He leads the salats there.
urban_rose
16-03-07, 06:53 PM
I did, but I think his English is maybe not too good.
Do you know the Al Falah Masjid on Keythorpe Street? He leads the slats there.
Did you write that on purpose :D ?
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 07:22 PM
Yes. In the hope that she might know the chap I mean.
Shortish (about 5' 6"), around 20 to 25.
urban_rose
16-03-07, 07:24 PM
:) no, akhi, i meant the 'slats' part :up:
I know where masjid-e-falah is. The imaam's name is Moulana Zakhariya right?! hhmm if hes as young as that then im wondering whether its the same brother i know! :S BUT according to sources this Imaam is gujji- whereas the brother i know is Pakistani. Not sure bro.
Peacenik
16-03-07, 07:27 PM
He doesn't look like the guy in my avatar, does he ?
ur_yusra
16-03-07, 07:54 PM
What check a dictionary? You took it rudely...I actually meant look for the meaning because I don't want to explain it...
Sorry akhi please forgive me I was in a bad mood.
.: Anna :.
16-03-07, 09:55 PM
man so much off topic and "nothing" posts in this thread but it will b too much to go and delete them all :S it could have been a sensible discussion, but shame that did not happen....
for the info of those who asserted marriage has to be consumated within 3 days or is "invalid" this is not correct, and people should insha allah not assert things without bringing evidence or substance for that.
ibn suleman i agree with ur point it is better 2 do a nikah if people want 2 be free 2 interact with the person, but i think from the nikah still they will be as husband and wife and should be mindful of rights and responsbilities from that day onwards regardless of consumation or lack of consumation...
in addition 2 that im of the opinion that ppl should not oppose harship on themselves necessarily, so after marriage if they decide to designate a certain period of time, whether weeks or months or years or whatever and decide that they will be "celebate" until the time has passed, this is unnecessary and when these things have made halal 4 them it is not beneficial 2 take that kind of stance?
Anyway you know as some ppl said, why dont u make a new thread in brothers forum and have a decent discussion... this topic is already ruined from some bickering and whatever and it will be more appropriate for u lot 2 discuss it just among urselves
Muhammad2
16-03-07, 10:09 PM
I know where masjid-e-falah is. The imaam's name is Moulana Zakhariya right?! hhmm if hes as young as that then im wondering whether its the same brother i know! :S BUT according to sources this Imaam is gujji- whereas the brother i know is Pakistani. Not sure bro.
I'll ask tomorrow
He doesn't look like the guy in my avatar, does he ?
Nope. Not in the least.
Are you in Leicester too?
He doesn't look like the guy in my avatar, does he ?
I didnt have a clue what you were on about cos i couldnt see anyones avatar! Changed my setting now- and some posters have some lovely avatars mashaAllah :)
Anyway no more off topic (feel bad enough as it is).
Sister Anna- great post :)
Phoenix CG
16-03-07, 10:58 PM
Sorry akhi please forgive me I was in a bad mood.
No problemo :)
ok..i think thats what it called where the nikah is done..but the couple dont move in together or consumate the marriage..
so for those that are ready but not ready for marriage thats what u shud do :p
Why get married/have a nikah - if you're not ready for marriage? :scratch:
ibn suleman
16-03-07, 11:19 PM
what happened to the thread! :rubeyes: :smack:
anyway :jkk: to those who made valid contributions.. :up:
.: Anna :.
17-03-07, 12:03 AM
Why get married/have a nikah - if you're not ready for marriage? :scratch:
perhaps they feel its the best solution for them. you know if ppl feel that they will be extremely likely 2 commit zina marrying quickly becomes fardh upon them in some opinions... because of the society and alot of fitna all the time perhaps some bros or even sisters feel difficulty in this and so they wish to get married 2 remove themselves from temptation of haraam. despite this sometimes parents put restrictions like telling "you're too young to get married" however the bro is in this situation, he needs to get married... sometimes this is a comprimise to do the nikah and move in later, if there is finance issues or accomodation issues etc. if the sister is okay with that then masha allah they found a solution.
i think the issue generally is not that they are not "ready" for marriage mentally or emotionally normally its practicalities, finance etc... which of course noone denies its important but for some people they feel very strongly that they want 2 get married and remove themself from situation of being affected by fitna and so despite their practical situation they find the best way around that in the circumstances...
Im sure if people were not that bothered and the circumstances were difficult, then they would wait. But for some people in some times, its not all that easy nor advisable just to wait.
vBulletin® v3.7.2, Copyright ©2000-2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.