View Full Version : Does Skin Colour Matter?????
Silver Pearl
05-02-08, 07:40 AM
Sis, I think it's because darker colours is seen as more masculine and hence why it's associated with men, and not women.
It's the same sentiment as to why most women would want a taller husband. It's all preference.
Asalamu alaykum
That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard of. People prefer lighter skin tone because that is what we were taught from a young age. The fairer you're, the more beautiful. It goes back to slavery days. It has nothing to do with it being a masculine characteristic while the height thing is associated with women, the skin tone isn't. Meh!
I've noticed now that men don't care much for skin colour, generally speaking.
I personally don't mind what his skin colour is.
muslimma
06-02-08, 10:40 AM
personally i aint gunna lie...it does matter to me ...:o
thats just plain silly, women who have sharp features regardless of skin are more 'attractive' than women with low cheekbones, and a rugged jawline and a chubby nose its just that maybe a women who has a fairer skin complexion stands out more
thats wat i was saying :rolleyes:
What really annoys me that where I am from there is a lot of influence of culture, where it makes a big difference. I have heard mothers say to their daughters 'she's not pretty just because she's dark and the other is just because she's fair' and when asked why you think like that or even think of saying things like that to your kids?
They simply say they need to know the truth or blame it on their own society from making them think like that. Hello are they standing behind you with a gun to your head!!!!!!
Its sad having kids grow up in that sort of environment, where your own family differentiate you in that way and very hurtful for the kids as they grow up and realise yeh society is like that, but they don't have support from their parents or family who could think otherwise.
It makes me sooooooo angry
GAL-actic
13-03-08, 09:23 PM
What really annoys me that where I am from there is a lot of influence of culture, where it makes a big difference. I have heard mothers say to their daughters 'she's not pretty just because she's dark and the other is just because she's fair' and when asked why you think like that or even think of saying things like that to your kids?
They simply say they need to know the truth or blame it on their own society from making them think like that. Hello are they standing behind you with a gun to your head!!!!!!
Its sad having kids grow up in that sort of environment, where your own family differentiate you in that way and very hurtful for the kids as they grow up and realise yeh society is like that, but they don't have support from their parents or family who could think otherwise.
It makes me sooooooo angry
WAllahi that's just really pathetic to teach your kids they are not beautiful enough for the society and that the other skin colour is better etc. I mean how would they feel for the rest of their lifes?:mad:
This skin colour issue is ridiculous. I know a sister who is interested in a brother but her parents do not give her permission to propose because he's far too fair for her and vice versa... ''what would society/people think or say?''
What kind of a parent says that? It's horrible. Skin colour is only important to shallow people - they somehow find it difficult to see pass the colour of the skin to the person underneath. There is a lot more to an individual than the shade of their skin.
If you are not attracted to the person after getting to know them...then that's fine. My problem is with people who completely disregard it.
This skin colour issue is ridiculous. I know a sister who is interested in a brother but her parents do not give her permission to propose because he's far too fair for her and vice versa... ''what would society/people think or say?''
What kind of a parent says that? It's horrible. Skin colour is only important to shallow people - they somehow find it difficult to see pass the colour of the skin to the person underneath. There is a lot more to an individual than the shade of their skin.
If you are not attracted to the person after getting to know them...then that's fine. My problem is with people who completely disregard it.
Allahdulillah well said sister
I dont care.
I dont like how some cultures place emphasis on what skin colour makes someone attractive. Like when i saw adverts for skin lightening cream and stuff when i was in egypt.
I believe everyone is attractive to someone :)
muslimma
17-03-08, 12:06 PM
I believe everyone is attractive to someone :)
beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....;)
stephenoskie
17-03-08, 12:10 PM
beauty is in the eye of the beholder.....;)
The most vauleable beauty is within, some thing that cant be scarred :D
Easy to heal and makes a person who they are :D
And deffo doesnt sag with old age :D
The most vauleable beauty is within, some thing that cant be scarred :D
Easy to heal and makes a person who they are :D
And deffo doesnt sag with old age :D
masha Allah :up:
Lambo5688
19-03-08, 09:44 PM
Ive had enough of this thread.. Im goin' Fair and Lovely :hidban::hidban:
Im pretty sure Med's been using it.. hmm... :rolleyes:
Why go so low power? Take out the Clorox bleach.
Ibrahim70
01-04-08, 09:37 PM
Surely anyone who said that "Yes it does matter" should seriosuly question their claim to be Muslim no?
Kasim2k7
01-04-08, 09:39 PM
I dont think skin colour matters because my wife is quite fair skin and im from a hot area so im kinda dark tanned but she says it doesnt matter but then again different people think differently. By the way this is my first reply. Ive just registered.
cant believe this was ma first post lol
Surely anyone who said that "Yes it does matter" should seriosuly question their claim to be Muslim no?
u would think so wouldnt u bro, but very sadly these days some muslims are using the excuse " its just my personal preference to marry only into my own race " but my question is if u single out only ur own race then what is it in your mindset that makes u find all other races unnatractive by default... and how is it if a white person says i will only marry whites they are called racists, but when non whites say this its called "their personal preference" but as u said a muslim who thinks like that should seriously question themselves.
Ibrahim70
01-04-08, 09:43 PM
u would think so wouldnt u bro, but very sadly these days some muslims are using the excuse " its just my personal preference to marry only into my own race " but my question is if u single out only ur own race then what is it in your mindset that makes u find all other races unnatractive by default... and how is it if a white person says i will only marry whites they are called racists, but when non whites say this its called "their personal preference" but as u said a muslim who thinks like that should seriously question themselves.
I know Sis, its very sad. Im sure family pressure has a lot to do with it though.
I know Sis, its very sad. Im sure family pressure has a lot to do with it though.
well my fathers advise to me when i was growing up was "never ever marry a black man, or join a religion " turned out i did both and now hes not a racist anymore and has jamican, and brazillian grandkids and a chinese step daughter. but had i caved into him and his evil wishes.. then what ..? he would still be like that and i wouldnt be a muslim . as muslims we have to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, even when to comes to our own parents. Allahu alam, it might make them better and more toleratant people insha Allah..
Ibrahim70
01-04-08, 09:51 PM
well my fathers advise to me when i was growing up was "never ever marry a black man, or join a religion " turned out i did both and now hes not a racist anymore and has jamican, and brazillian grandkids and a chinese step daughter. but had i caved into him and his evil wishes.. then what ..? he would still be like that and i wouldnt be a muslim . as muslims we have to enjoin the good and forbid the evil, even when to comes to our own parents. Allahu alam, it might make them better and more toleratant people insha Allah..
My parents are white english but have never really shown me a racist side so inshallah if my future wife was black or asian or non-white Im sure there wouldnt be a problem. But for some familys there are and thats upsetting. :(
Basil al-Mamluk
01-04-08, 09:56 PM
My parents are white english but have never really shown me a racist side so inshallah if my future wife was black or asian or non-white Im sure there wouldnt be a problem. But for some familys there are and thats upsetting. :(
I'm in the same boat but substitute English with American. It will most likely be a cultural shock for them when I get married though, because I am pretty certain I will be marrying a Pakistani girl (as Pakistani families make up the overwhelming majority of Muslims that I know) and my family is pretty... uhh... "rural".
You never know though, my mom was pretty mad at me for even associating with "moslems" in college until she actually met them.
Ibrahim70
01-04-08, 09:58 PM
I'm in the same boat but substitute English with American. It will most likely be a cultural shock for them when I get married though, because I am pretty certain I will be marrying a Pakistani girl (as Pakistani families make up the overwhelming majority of Muslims that I know) and my family is pretty... uhh... "rural".
You never know though, my mom was pretty mad at me for even associating with "moslems" in college until she actually met them.
Well my family dont even know Im Muslim yet so imagine that scene! lol.
But inshallah they will be ok with whoever I bring home as long as they are a loving caring woman (Sister) who makes me happy :)
Well my family dont even know Im Muslim yet so imagine that scene! lol.
:eek: may Allah give u the right words when the time comes to tell them, and guide them to islam too amin!
sultanX
02-04-08, 10:52 AM
There is nothing wrong with preferring one colour over another, it's just natural. Is it not best to actually be attracted (personality, beauty, etc.) to the person you are marrying? Of course, there are a number of factors when deciding, and colour may or may not be one of them. It'd be wrong yes, if you considered one colour more superior than another (like in some cultures), but some people are simply not attracted to others of certain colours (or only attracted to a few). This is the case for me and it is completely natural (i.e. not influenced by culture or anything).
If I recall correctly, there is a hadith saying that it is best to marry into one's one race.
There was also this one beautiful woman who married an unattractive man. When he was coming back from jihad one woman asked her why is a beautiful person married to an unattractive person such as him. So she went to Prophet Muhammad (:saws2:) and asked if it was okay to divorce because of the difference in beauty, and he agreed.
I didn't read the above anywhere but heard it a few years ago, so I don't know exactly where it came from and it may be slightly distorted (too tired to look it up). Basically though, the speaker was saying that there is no problem rejecting someone because you are unattracted to them.
If you're going to say that (naturally) preferring colour is wrong then you might as well say that preferring looks is wrong as well.
Astraeus
02-04-08, 12:46 PM
It is kind of sad that race is a factor in Islam, whether it be for marriage or elsewhere in the Ummah. Being white I see this fairly regularly at the masjid. At the masjid where I go for my "new Muslim" class, when I walk into the masjid for Dhur brothers usually call out "Can I help you?" Some won't return my Salaams until they see another brother talk with me and they know I am a Muslim...even though I just finished praying. Even at my 'home' masjid, some brothers still forget. Recently, after Isha prayer one brother said "hello" then quickly corrected himself saying "I don't say Hello to you" then gave me Salaams.
I bear no ill feelings towards my brothers for this. I understand why...but it does make me laugh to myself when it happens after I finish praying with them. For my part, I have started wearing a kuffi when attending the masjid as a more visual sign that I believe :lailah:
sis_niqabi
02-04-08, 01:10 PM
If I recall correctly, there is a hadith saying that it is best to marry into one's one race.
can you reference this hadith. because i've never heard of such a hadith before. in Islam we are suppose to be color blind in all matters including marriage
:salams
I voted:
Yes It Makes A Differences To Me It's Personal Preference.....
There is nothing wrong with preferring one colour over another, it's just natural. Is it not best to actually be attracted (personality, beauty, etc.) to the person you are marrying? Of course, there are a number of factors when deciding, and colour may or may not be one of them. It'd be wrong yes, if you considered one colour more superior than another (like in some cultures), but some people are simply not attracted to others of certain colours (or only attracted to a few). This is the case for me and it is completely natural (i.e. not influenced by culture or anything).
If I recall correctly, there is a hadith saying that it is best to marry into one's one race.
There was also this one beautiful woman who married an unattractive man. When he was coming back from jihad one woman asked her why is a beautiful person married to an unattractive person such as him. So she went to Prophet Muhammad (:saws2:) and asked if it was okay to divorce because of the difference in beauty, and he agreed.
I didn't read the above anywhere but heard it a few years ago, so I don't know exactly where it came from and it may be slightly distorted (too tired to look it up). Basically though, the speaker was saying that there is no problem rejecting someone because you are unattracted to them.
If you're going to say that (naturally) preferring colour is wrong then you might as well say that preferring looks is wrong as well.
there is no hadith says its better to marry into a persons own race. and the woman divorced her husband because she didnt like him anymore, no one asked her why is a beautiful woman married to an ugly man. if i say i will only marry a white man, that is racisim, and same goes for any other race who says that. if u are not attracted to someone then fair enough, but to find another persons skin colour repuslive, that is racisim, and not from islam.
Ibrahim70
02-04-08, 07:38 PM
:eek: may Allah give u the right words when the time comes to tell them, and guide them to islam too amin!
Thanks Sis :) Inshallah I will be ok. With Allah (swt) on my side..........I will survive :up:
If I recall correctly, there is a hadith saying that it is best to marry into one's one race.
There is no 'hadith' saying any such thing so your recollection must be incorrect. Are you Pakistani by any chance? I've noticed some Pakistanis have written extremely distorted books about Islam claiming that some very unIslamic things are approved of in the Quran and Sunnah and they have a habit of making up lies like this. For example, there is an ayah in the Quran where Allah (swt) says that he has created "tribes and nations so that you may know one another (not despise one another)" and some dumb jahil so called Muslims take this to mean that we were created differently so that we should stick to our own kind:wacko:@) The teachings of the Prophet (saw) actually prove that the opposite is the case and that diversity is approved of and encouraged in Islam.
sultanX
03-04-08, 08:02 AM
there is no hadith says its better to marry into a persons own race. and the woman divorced her husband because she didnt like him anymore, no one asked her why is a beautiful woman married to an ugly man. if i say i will only marry a white man, that is racisim, and same goes for any other race who says that. if u are not attracted to someone then fair enough, but to find another persons skin colour repuslive, that is racisim, and not from islam.
:o
I swear I read that hadith somewhere and I remembered it well because I personally don't want to have to marry into my own race and was kinda depressed because of that.
also, to above, no I can't even read Urdu so I didn't get it from a Pakistani book. The first time I read it I didn't really think of it but the second time (probably on the Internet) I thought confirmed it.
:jkk: for clearing that up for me :D
Yeah, finding someone's colour repulsive, i.e. racism, is wrong, but some people here are saying that just declining someone based on colour is wrong, which I find absurd. I'm not saying that people of certain colours are ugly - just that some people are (usually) not attracted to people of colours too different than their own.
:o
I swear I read that hadith somewhere and I remembered it well .
Every hadith has a book name, number and reference. Check again and I'm sure you'll find that there is no hadith on this matter and if someone has pretended that there is, either that quote wont have a reference or it will turn out to be 'maudu' (fabricated) or at most 'daef ghareeb' (extremely weak in terms of credibility). On the other hand, there are other much more well known, credible and verified ahadith which confirm that the Prophet (saw) approved of mixed marriages and hated the concept of exclusivity/superiority according to tribe/race or skin colour. There are a lot of sayings in Arab countries which were thought to be ahadith but turned out to be 'maudu' so it's worth finding out the category of the so called hadith to ascertain its credibility.
prashantnew
06-04-08, 06:22 PM
Doesn't matter one single bit.
if we didn't have skin, wouldn't we still have bones, a heart, legs etc? What differences are between one skin colour to the next? nothing at all.
c0508310
02-05-08, 10:51 PM
Well does it matter to you because a lot of muslim brothers these days want to marry muslim girls with very fair skin which i think is wrong. Most of you will say it doesn't matter as long as he/she is pious with a positive character and thats how it should be but if there were two identical girls/guys one light skin and the other dark skin would you close your eyes and pick one or say skin colour doesn't matter but if i had to choose it would be ________
I was talking with my cousin today and she got a marriage proposal and she rejected the guy because he was to dark skinned because she's white like a ghost. I asked her is that not being biased??? She's like skin colour doesn't matter to me it's just my personal preference i was like :scratch: She's dumb thats all i can say about her.
I don't want to offend anyone it's just a thought...........
when holy PROPHET had eredicated all the differences under his feet so who r we people to have it again!
colour of skin doesn,t matter!what matter is ur character!!!!!!!!!!!
a nice poll!
Genghis
04-05-08, 05:10 PM
Thoba Im shocked to see 35 people voted
"Yes It Makes A Differences To Me It's Personal Preference....."
I love and respect all colours..
but the thing is I dont see colour I see the persons personality etc.
Shame on people who think their colour is superior or even the fact that they prefer one colour over another,
This world is like a packet of skittles there's loads of different coloured people black, white, brown,
I love all colours, we are all brothers and sisters, lets keep it that way,
forget twisted cultures that choose over cast etc.
they are leading you to only one place, HELL!! >=D Muahahahaahah!!!
Skin colour dnt bother me that much, but as long as she isnt black like this dude :hidban: lol
abuzayd
16-06-08, 12:21 PM
The question says - does skin color matter. not is that the basis for choosing a spouse
those saying choosing a spouse based on skin color is stupid should chill a little.
after picking ya soulmate based on religion, you can look for any other attribute you want. Hey what if you find a blackie looking for a whitie, is that still racism? common people, people have what they look for, it should be no big deal if one decides to marry a white muslima instead of black and vice versa.
for example i am black and ...:D
Songbird
16-06-08, 12:31 PM
And sometimes opposites attract.
Me, I like someone the total opposite of me: dark eyes, dark skin.
There is nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong however when that matters most; kind of like some Egyptian men I've encountered who go gah-gah over a fair sister. The fairer she is, the more they scramble after her. It's like nothing about her or her past matters if he can marry a white Muslimah :rolleyes:
I personally like seeing a dark brother marry a white sister, or vice versa: kids inevitably look so cute mashaAllah. My Greek revert friend married an African brother and all her children are just beautiful mashaAllah. Mixed marriages in the Ummah too means less cultural baggage in the marriage - well that's what I've personally found.
Tru telling that to the Desi community though... :rolleyes:
And sometimes opposites attract.
Me, I like someone the total opposite of me: dark eyes, dark skin.
There is nothing wrong with that. There is something wrong however when that matters most; kind of like some Egyptian men I've encountered who go gah-gah over a fair sister. The fairer she is, the more they scramble after her. It's like nothing about her or her past matters if he can marry a white Muslimah :rolleyes:
I personally like seeing a dark brother marry a white sister, or vice versa: kids inevitably look so cute mashaAllah. My Greek revert friend married an African brother and all her children are just beautiful mashaAllah. Mixed marriages in the Ummah too means less cultural baggage in the marriage - well that's what I've personally found.
Tru telling that to the Desi community though... :rolleyes:
as salamu alaikum,
too bad what sisters say and what they actually do comes out to be completely different. and then at the end you have really good muslimahs marrying the wrong guys and the marriage is a total disaster...
as salamu alaikum
fair skin dark skin tall short who cares as long as he looooves meeeee :coolsis:
Rosalie-Beauty
15-07-08, 06:57 AM
GuCcI dear, are'nt you married yet?
Salaam alaykum,
It matters to me
If I could, I'd marry women from accross the globe.
A Darkish Asiatic, a lighter but chinese featured Malayan, Indonesian or Filipini, a white red/fair headed Afghani or Turkistani, and a dark Sudani, Nigeri or Chadean. That is beside the Arab lady I'm already maried too.
Unfortunately, money doesn't grow on trees. And, technically, I'm only allowed 4.
Hanifa
Colorado_Muslim
15-07-08, 10:17 PM
obviously it doesn't matter because even in the Qur'an it says that one person is not the other person if he is arab or non-arab, black or white.
ayna_habibti
17-07-08, 03:40 PM
unfortunatly it does for most
ummah has become naive and vain :(
zaitoon
28-08-08, 04:10 AM
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...................and the colour of you skin does not matter. No wonder the ummah is in such a sad state today,no peace no love and no unity.Everything is based on Duniyaa..........Money ,Skin colour and status. Waalahi if we were to uphold a single sunnah in this era of fitnah and fasad we will be rewarded the reward of a 100 martyrs.
The Prophet, (pbuh) has also said: "Indeed there is no excellence for an Arab over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab over an Arab, nor a White person over a Black one, nor a Black person over a White one, except through piety"
May Allah in his infinite mercy let us truly value each other for his sake and not the colour of our skin.
I personally like seeing a dark brother marry a white sister, or vice versa: kids inevitably look so cute mashaAllah. My Greek revert friend married an African brother and all her children are just beautiful mashaAllah. Mixed marriages in the Ummah too means less cultural baggage in the marriage - well that's what I've personally found.
True, imagine what you want your kids to look like:). All of the 'mixed race' people I know with one parent Black or Asian and other White are very good looking.
abstract
31-08-08, 01:43 PM
Yes It Makes A Differences To Me It's Personal Preference..... 38 15.38% ??? you people have serious issues
Kasim2k7
31-08-08, 02:22 PM
I made my first ever post in this thread and still havent did the poll *smack*
i suppose anything goes. life is like a box ov chocolates. u never kno wat ure gonna get.
skin colour doesn't matter to me.
Redmist
31-08-08, 08:01 PM
I like dark skinned women, but then again i like fair skinned women as well :confused:
Actually its not the skin colour that i look for its the charm in the face, the secret smile. what her eyes say.....
so skin colour does'nt really matter to me!
Kasim2k7
31-08-08, 08:08 PM
talking about that. i like dark skinned women too
Redmist
31-08-08, 08:12 PM
talking about that. i like dark skinned women too
Yeh think about it ppl. You get beautiful dark ppl and you get beautiful fair ppl, its the beauty that matters not the skin tone.
i mean look at NAomi Campbell, shes dark real dark but she's beautiful!
Pippin1376
31-08-08, 08:13 PM
i mean look at NAomi Campbell, shes dark real dark but she's beautiful!
She also has some anger issues....brother you should lower your gaze.
Redmist
31-08-08, 08:17 PM
She also has some anger issues....brother you should lower your gaze.
yeh i know she has got Anger issues. Yeh but naomi campbell is just a picture on the tv or in the papers, its not like i walk into her in the street every day is it? :rolleyes:
Thank you for the advice Pippin but i wa just making a point :)
Kasim2k7
31-08-08, 08:25 PM
nah not that dark like naomi campbell .a mixture probably like brown tanned
Redmist
31-08-08, 08:41 PM
nah not that dark like naomi campbell .a mixture probably like brown tanned
Yeh like Husky inni' Kasim? :D
Husky is :up:
Pippin1376
31-08-08, 08:47 PM
Be careful, Brothers. The topic is starting to venture off into what skin tone looks mashallah good! Black, but not too black. A mixed race is slamming, etc...
If you think this way then alhamdulillah, but we need to remember that we really shouldn't be looking at the skin tone if it makes us to think this way. If you think skin colour doesn't matter then say so, but don't start mentioning what skin tone you like in the opposite gender. :o
Redmist
31-08-08, 09:07 PM
Be careful, Brothers. The topic is starting to venture off into what skin tone looks mashallah good! Black, but not too black. A mixed race is slamming, etc...
If you think this way then alhamdulillah, but we need to remember that we really shouldn't be looking at the skin tone if it makes us to think this way. If you think skin colour doesn't matter then say so, but don't start mentioning what skin tone you like in the opposite gender. :o
InshAllah Pippin :up:
It matters about as much as the clothes 'celebrities' wear to a premier
Redmist
01-09-08, 01:26 AM
It matters about as much as the clothes 'celebrities' wear to a premier
Yeh well obviously to the Premier it matters a lot what clothes 'celebreties' wear to the premier :p
Yeh well obviously to the Premier it matters a lot what clothes 'celebreties' wear to the premier :p
Are you a secret girl? :scratch::D
Redmist
01-09-08, 01:44 AM
Are you a secret girl? :scratch::D
Not as far as i know.....hang on let me check :p....
just as i thought im all man :D
My mistake this time! My apologies.
Safiyyah89
01-09-08, 10:26 AM
I honestly believe skin color plays little role in people's mind. On the other hand i believe it is different cultures which people dislike and as a result tend to take it out on the person instead of his culture.
asalamu alaykum
yea we do have a bigger issue with the tribalism...but lets not get into that cuz thats a whole nother can of worms:rolleyes:
but about skin color it does have a major influence on somalis...generally somali women...subhanallah its like in our culture its okay for the men to be dark but once the sister is....ohhh nooo she needs to invest in some diana:rolleyes:
quite pathetic actually...actually not that long ago...my cuzin wanted to get married to this brother...and my aunt(her mum) said no to the guy because he was 2 dark subhanallah(and i would have said maybe its cuz of the tribes that my aunt said no but naww he was actually the same tribe as us)
so yea it has a huge impact....but honestly i could care less about the skin color as long as mashallah the futures are good den skin color dosnt matter..
waslaam
safiyyah
scribble
01-09-08, 01:54 PM
I only like green skin-toned beings. :D :p
But since they don't exit... I like 'em all.
I only like green skin-toned beings. :D :p
But since they don't exit... I like 'em all.
I think that'd be an indication that the person is a bit sick! :p
scribble
01-09-08, 02:08 PM
I think that'd be an indication that the person is a bit sick! :p
Oh.. :(
Would they be sick in presence.. or ... just generally?
Oh.. :(
Would they be sick in presence.. or ... just generally?
Sick all over! Green tinge to the skin? :vomit:
I was going to say purple before as a joke until I realised that some heavy drinkers get a ruddy pinkish/purple complexion :S
I was going to say purple before as a joke until I realised that some heavy drinkers get a ruddy pinkish/purple complexion :S
My feet turn purple everyday- does that count? :p
My feet turn purple everyday- does that count? :p
No :p but I wasn't aware that you were a candidate :p
My feet turn purple everyday- does that count? :p
YIKES! you need to put some ice on 'em:rofl1:
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