Is there hope for my parents?

[muslimlearner]

:salams

In the last few days thoughts have been running through my mind regarding my parents and their future in the hereafter.

They are in their late 50’s and they don’t pray. And it doesn’t seem like they are going to start. They are Muslims but are very lazy and are committing major sins, such as ribba and not wearing hijab. I don’t think they’ve touched the Qur’an in years.

Thinking about their torment facing them in the grave and hell is really making me sick. Thinking about them suffering pain and crying out loud just makes me shiver and makes me feel like crying.

My relationship with them, and the rest of the family, is not a very strong one. To tell them it’s time for them to pray, give zakat etc would be a difficult step for me to take. (I know it sounds stupid and selfish, but there you go!)

I pray and make dua to Allah (swt) on most days. But I still fear for them.

Even if they start praying and fasting etc. I don’t think that’s enough for them to avoid hell! I say this because of Hajj, which is of course a duty to every Muslim if you don’t want to die a kaffir. My mother is now old and is tired from the stress of life of bringing up 6 sons/daughters. And also my father who works as a doctor, which is hard work with lots of hours in different cities. I don’t think they will be capable of doing hajj physically. Even if they are able, the long life savings my father made is not exactly halal. My parents have always worked hard to give us the best life possible, and in turn, we (me, brother and sisters) have not been great children towards them and have made them suffer needlessly through life to this day. I don’t want them to live a second life with even worse suffering.

Don’t get me started on some of my brothers and sisters. They are even worse. Some of them are even wearing the cross and celebrating Christmas. (It says it all about my parents’ laziness that they have not made a big deal out of it. Thanks mainly to the stinking British law we live in which states that children 16 or over are adults therefore the parents can’t control them like they should.)

17 years ago my sister died in a swimming pool accident when she was 10. I read a hadith recently that says the deceased children will pray to Allah (swt) to forgive their parents on judgment day. Not sure if it’s true or not. But if it is, then at least there is a little hint of hope.

Allah please forgive them. :crying2:

[Abdelrhman]

:salams

I am greatly saddened by your situation brother. I don't know what to say. May Allah guide your family. Brother you have to act! I am not ordering you, I'm only advising you. Tell your parents and siblings what they are doing with their lives. Explain to them that death can come at any time, and the torment won't stop for a looong time after that (Allahu A3lam).

As for your siblings who wear the cross and celebrate Christmas, that is shirk! This is a major issue! Huge issue. Take the cross when he/she is sleeping and throw it out, even if it's pure gold. I would do the same. Take your brothers/sister's music CDs and break them and throw them out. Show them the truth.

As for your sister who died, may Allah have mercy on her. Yes it's true that children will cry and pray for their parents to enter Jannah insha'Allah, as far as I know. Allahu A3lam man. This intercession might help a little but if the parents haven't prayed or touched the Qur'an in years... :( it doesn't look good at all.

And riba is one of the four sins that eat up good deeds. The other 3 are: slandering chaste Muslim women, taking the orphan's wealth, and I forgot the last one. I think it is murder, Allahu A3lam.

Advise your parents and siblings on a daily basis and cry in front of them if you can. Show them that death can come any time and explain to them the grusome tortures of the grave and the Day of Judgement and the afterlife.

I pray that Allah guides your family. Ameen.

[Nazias]

:salams

I am greatly saddened by your situation brother. I don't know what to say. May Allah guide your family. Brother you have to act! I am not ordering you, I'm only advising you. Tell your parents and siblings what they are doing with their lives. Explain to them that death can come at any time, and the torment won't stop for a looong time after that (Allahu A3lam).

As for your siblings who wear the cross and celebrate Christmas, that is shirk! This is a major issue! Huge issue. Take the cross when he/she is sleeping and throw it out, even if it's pure gold. I would do the same. Take your brothers/sister's music CDs and break them and throw them out. Show them the truth.

As for your sister who died, may Allah have mercy on her. Yes it's true that children will cry and pray for their parents to enter Jannah insha'Allah, as far as I know. Allahu A3lam man. This intercession might help a little but if the parents haven't prayed or touched the Qur'an in years... :( it doesn't look good at all.

And riba is one of the four sins that eat up good deeds. The other 3 are: slandering chaste Muslim women, taking the orphan's wealth, and I forgot the last one. I think it is murder, Allahu A3lam.

Advise your parents and siblings on a daily basis and cry in front of them if you can. Show them that death can come any time and explain to them the grusome tortures of the grave and the Day of Judgement and the afterlife.

I pray that Allah guides your family. Ameen.

Ameen! I find a lot of people have the same problem with their family, you can only do your best as Allah(swt) guides whom He wills and misguides whom He wills so Insha'allah make sincer du'a for your family as that is the most powerful and effective tool we have!

www.forthesakeofallah.blogspot.com
“The real prisoner is someone whose heart is imprisoned from his Lord; the true captive is someone captured by his passions.” (Ibn Taymiyyah)

[Nusayba]

Asalamalaikum Brother

I'm sorry to hear about the state of your family:(. I have a few misguided people in my family so I understand some of the pain your going through (siblings). I know how easy it is to say "just continue giving dawah" I've been there. What I find beneficial is making dua for them. Ultimately Allah is the one who guides. We can only give dawah in the best manner possible InshaAllah. You have to keep reminding yourself that Allah will reward you for giving them dawah. Don't expect them to thank you or like you for it just know that you are on the siratul mustaqeem. Allah guides whom he wills.

There is hope for everyone inshaAllah. Do everything for Allahs sake inshaAllah ALlah will make your efforts blossom ameen.

[muslimlearner]

I have no control over my sibling. Even my parents are powerless! They simply don't listen to them anymore.

[Maureen]

I have no control over my sibling. Even my parents are powerless! They simply don't listen to them anymore.
As a Christian, I have exactly the same problem with some of my family members. I f they prayed to God, I would not mind at all if they were not Christian. They are in fact nominal Christians.
I pray all the time about this.

[Cashew]

Muslim Learner, your concern for your parents is a wonderful thing.

And I think you are quite wise not to lecture your parents about their "laziness" toward Islam. They are, after all, your parents, and no parent likes to be lectured to by a child.

Your greatest assets are your sabr and your love for your mother and father. You say that they lost a child 17 years ago. This must have been incredibly difficult for them. It's not unusual for people to turn away from God when something so terrible happens. Perhaps your parents have a difficult time forgiving God for this tragedy.

The best way of leading your parents back to Islam is to be a very fine and loving Muslim son. Tell your parents that you love and admire them. Tell them that you enjoy being with them. Ask them if they would please go with you to mosque or pray with you or read Quran with you. Make Islamic activities enjoyable for them.

Please remember, with God, all things are possible.

Your parents sins and their lack of interest in Islam are very small insignificant matters when compared to God's great strength, compassion, and mercy. In other words, these problems are not too big for God to solve.

Do not despair. Do not dwell in sorrow. Pray always. And by opening your heart more to your parents, by seeking to grow closer to them, you will have an easier time drawing them back to God.

Best of luck to you and your family.

[Tahiyah]

muslimlearner ~

i think you should share your post with them. they are lucky to have a child like you. suggest to them if you could all begin praying together as a family. let them know you think it will strengthen the family bond and not to mention that it is FARD.

[Khubaib]

Subhanallah I have heard this from so many brothers. The parents in many families are neglecting their obligations. As others have stated give them da'wah and make du'a for them. Take it easy though (I find this difficult myself). Patience is the key. Ali (RA) once said that (paraphrased) when you are telling people about aspects of Islam you need to be careful because would you have them call Rasulullah (SAW) a liar?

May Allah make it easy for us. Allah knows best.

[Raul-7]

It is true that Allah does guide or misguide people, but he doesn't guide people until they truly want to change their ways. Here's the ayah: "La yoghayr Allah biqawmin HatA youghayiroo mA bia'nfosihim." Meaning Allah won't guide the hearts of a tribe or group of people until they first change what is within them.

The least you could do is ask them why they stopped practising Islam and then go on from there.

May Allah guide them to the Straight Path. Ameen.

[XtasyXpress]

Do dua for them

[Medievalist]

hmmmmmmmmmmm

[MG]

wa alaikum aslaam, brother

is there hope? yes there is, while we still havea breath in our body and are in this world, we have hope.

I am sorry to hear about your sitaution but as someone pointed out, alot of brothers and sisters are in the situation u talk of *sad face* .

First we have to remember Allah swt guides whom HE wants.

Now i have a few misguided memebers in my family and it was getting me stressed out quite abit, cos thye jus did not want to listen to what i had to say about islam cos it would embarrass them or make them feel shame, whihc is the case with probably most.

Heres what i did:

i toned it down abit wen i saw them, i.e. insteadd of jus shoving everything in there face, i always make a point of mentioning something about islam and then leave it at that.

Some family members started asking more and more questions. I kept on doing this but being tactful at teeh same time so theydont think they are being forced (yes u require alot of sabr for this!).

i continued always making dua for there guidance, THIS is where i put all my energy, in dua.

Then as i was starting to feel this all wasnt working and i needed a Plan C my bro comes and starts askign for islamic books, then afew months later, for lectures...then a few months later he calls me 2am in the morning asking for all the 5 prayer times! mashallah i was sosooooo happy, now he hasnt started praying 5 times yet but its all a start....

then my sister...asked me for some books, i sent her a whole bunch (i got over excited i think) next minute i hear she ispraying 5 times now!!!!! and always ringing me up for specific duas or questions etc .


Allah swt guides whom he wants, dont give up on them bro, keep making sincere duas for them behind closed doors and wen your with them, try and be tactful and leave islamic books lying around, make sure they ssee u praying, doing dhikr (not to show off of course) and alwaya mention somethign about islam to them wenver u see them.

May allah swt guide the misguided Ameen

[muslimlearner]

Your greatest assets are your sabr and your love for your mother and father. You say that they lost a child 17 years ago. This must have been incredibly difficult for them. It's not unusual for people to turn away from God when something so terrible happens. Perhaps your parents have a difficult time forgiving God for this tragedy.

I don't think that's the reason, although it might have been a factor. Thank you for your great post.

No, in my opinion, moving to England 10 years ago is what have made them go astray. Big mistake.

muslimlearner ~

i think you should share your post with them. they are lucky to have a child like you. suggest to them if you could all begin praying together as a family. let them know you think it will strengthen the family bond and not to mention that it is FARD.


I'm not a child my friend. lol. :D

[Cristiana]

I have no control over my sibling. Even my parents are powerless! They simply don't listen to them anymore.

Be there for them and be prepared because maybe someday insha'Allah they will start looking for Allah (although they won't know that!) and they will need your help:) Don't lose hope and keep up the du'a.
At least your family are muslim:) may Allah guide them (and us all)

[Hekmaa]

:salams

In the last few days thoughts have been running through my mind regarding my parents and their future in the hereafter.

They are in their late 50’s and they don’t pray. And it doesn’t seem like they are going to start. They are Muslims but are very lazy and are committing major sins, such as ribba and not wearing hijab. I don’t think they’ve touched the Qur’an in years.

Thinking about their torment facing them in the grave and hell is really making me sick. Thinking about them suffering pain and crying out loud just makes me shiver and makes me feel like crying.

My relationship with them, and the rest of the family, is not a very strong one. To tell them it’s time for them to pray, give zakat etc would be a difficult step for me to take. (I know it sounds stupid and selfish, but there you go!)

I pray and make dua to Allah (swt) on most days. But I still fear for them.

Even if they start praying and fasting etc. I don’t think that’s enough for them to avoid hell! I say this because of Hajj, which is of course a duty to every Muslim if you don’t want to die a kaffir. My mother is now old and is tired from the stress of life of bringing up 6 sons/daughters. And also my father who works as a doctor, which is hard work with lots of hours in different cities. I don’t think they will be capable of doing hajj physically. Even if they are able, the long life savings my father made is not exactly halal. My parents have always worked hard to give us the best life possible, and in turn, we (me, brother and sisters) have not been great children towards them and have made them suffer needlessly through life to this day. I don’t want them to live a second life with even worse suffering.

Don’t get me started on some of my brothers and sisters. They are even worse. Some of them are even wearing the cross and celebrating Christmas. (It says it all about my parents’ laziness that they have not made a big deal out of it. Thanks mainly to the stinking British law we live in which states that children 16 or over are adults therefore the parents can’t control them like they should.)

17 years ago my sister died in a swimming pool accident when she was 10. I read a hadith recently that says the deceased children will pray to Allah (swt) to forgive their parents on judgment day. Not sure if it’s true or not. But if it is, then at least there is a little hint of hope.

Allah please forgive them. :crying2:


May Allah guide all your family Jameean Ameen.

La Taqnatu mir Rahmatillah, Inallaha yaghfiruthunuba jameeah..

Do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah; Verily Allah forgives sins in their entirety.

[Abdulah]

:salams

In the last few days thoughts have been running through my mind regarding my parents and their future in the hereafter.

They are in their late 50’s and they don’t pray. And it doesn’t seem like they are going to start. They are Muslims but are very lazy and are committing major sins, such as ribba and not wearing hijab. I don’t think they’ve touched the Qur’an in years.

Thinking about their torment facing them in the grave and hell is really making me sick. Thinking about them suffering pain and crying out loud just makes me shiver and makes me feel like crying.

My relationship with them, and the rest of the family, is not a very strong one. To tell them it’s time for them to pray, give zakat etc would be a difficult step for me to take. (I know it sounds stupid and selfish, but there you go!)

I pray and make dua to Allah (swt) on most days. But I still fear for them.

Even if they start praying and fasting etc. I don’t think that’s enough for them to avoid hell! I say this because of Hajj, which is of course a duty to every Muslim if you don’t want to die a kaffir. My mother is now old and is tired from the stress of life of bringing up 6 sons/daughters. And also my father who works as a doctor, which is hard work with lots of hours in different cities. I don’t think they will be capable of doing hajj physically. Even if they are able, the long life savings my father made is not exactly halal. My parents have always worked hard to give us the best life possible, and in turn, we (me, brother and sisters) have not been great children towards them and have made them suffer needlessly through life to this day. I don’t want them to live a second life with even worse suffering.

Don’t get me started on some of my brothers and sisters. They are even worse. Some of them are even wearing the cross and celebrating Christmas. (It says it all about my parents’ laziness that they have not made a big deal out of it. Thanks mainly to the stinking British law we live in which states that children 16 or over are adults therefore the parents can’t control them like they should.)

17 years ago my sister died in a swimming pool accident when she was 10. I read a hadith recently that says the deceased children will pray to Allah (swt) to forgive their parents on judgment day. Not sure if it’s true or not. But if it is, then at least there is a little hint of hope.

Allah please forgive them. :crying2:

I'm sorry about your sister. I shall make Dua for your parents and your sister, InshAllah:)

[muslimlearner]

I'm sorry about your sister. I shall make Dua for your parents and your sister, InshAllah:)


Thank you, bro.

[muslimlearner]

Does Allah(SWT) accept good deeds if I did them on behalve of my family?(like giving sadaqa for them and zikr etc)

[ummbilal]

:salams

In the last few days thoughts have been running through my mind regarding my parents and their future in the hereafter.

They are in their late 50’s and they don’t pray. And it doesn’t seem like they are going to start. They are Muslims but are very lazy and are committing major sins, such as ribba and not wearing hijab. I don’t think they’ve touched the Qur’an in years.

Thinking about their torment facing them in the grave and hell is really making me sick. Thinking about them suffering pain and crying out loud just makes me shiver and makes me feel like crying.

My relationship with them, and the rest of the family, is not a very strong one. To tell them it’s time for them to pray, give zakat etc would be a difficult step for me to take. (I know it sounds stupid and selfish, but there you go!)

I pray and make dua to Allah (swt) on most days. But I still fear for them.

Even if they start praying and fasting etc. I don’t think that’s enough for them to avoid hell! I say this because of Hajj, which is of course a duty to every Muslim if you don’t want to die a kaffir. My mother is now old and is tired from the stress of life of bringing up 6 sons/daughters. And also my father who works as a doctor, which is hard work with lots of hours in different cities. I don’t think they will be capable of doing hajj physically. Even if they are able, the long life savings my father made is not exactly halal. My parents have always worked hard to give us the best life possible, and in turn, we (me, brother and sisters) have not been great children towards them and have made them suffer needlessly through life to this day. I don’t want them to live a second life with even worse suffering.

Don’t get me started on some of my brothers and sisters. They are even worse. Some of them are even wearing the cross and celebrating Christmas. (It says it all about my parents’ laziness that they have not made a big deal out of it. Thanks mainly to the stinking British law we live in which states that children 16 or over are adults therefore the parents can’t control them like they should.)

17 years ago my sister died in a swimming pool accident when she was 10. I read a hadith recently that says the deceased children will pray to Allah (swt) to forgive their parents on judgment day. Not sure if it’s true or not. But if it is, then at least there is a little hint of hope.

Allah please forgive them. :crying2:

mashallah brother while u have breath in your body make duas for your parents, a dua from a child for their parents is so strong, be patient and lead by example, ie when u r gonna pray give the athan softly and call to your family, they may ignore u but one day someone may come to join you in salah.

Inshaallah we will all be guided and forgiven

[ummbilal]

Does Allah(SWT) accept good deeds if I did them on behalve of my family?(like giving sadaqa for them and zikr etc)

inshaallah yes, try doing something that will benefit them for a while like planting trees or helping to bulid a masjid, do not be too shy to ask your father to join you in salah, or set an alarm for fajr to wake everyone, the fire of HELL is very real brother you can help save your family from it inshaallah.

[nopah]

salam Akhi,
If I were you. I would have done the following:
- Install Adzan program in every computer, pda, cecllphone in the house. make sure you have an admin right on these device that ONLY you can modify/unistall. At least it is a start to remind everyone its time to pray , it is time for Allah. :D
- Subscribe to Islamic publications ie: emails, newspaper, etc spam everyone's email and spread the newspaper around the house to make them interested in reading
- Say Assalamualaikum when you enter and go out the house, meet your folks & siblings when nobody answer, repeat your salam till they respond. if they dont tell them it is wajib for them, you make dua by saying assalamualaikum it is your RIGHT that they also make dua for you by answering back to you thats how I dicipline my kids :D
- Put up some religious/quranic reading on the wall, on the door that say "say Assalamualaikum when you knock this door"

Insya Allah this will help.

[mgk81]

you should make it known to them that ur gonna perform ur salah when its time of the waqt, eg when its maghrib, just say when in their presence, hey its maghrib now, im gonna perform it, ask them simple questions about islam to build a form of relation to islam that would make them aware and ponder of bringing islamic ways into their lives insha allah. from that insha allah we can only make dua that they prosper Ameen.

[alialiyan]

This is soo sad to read brother. I pray Allah guides your parents to the right path along with me and all of us

U can help by just leaving islamic books around the house and making sure all ur actions always show Islam in them...when there are guests and family gatherings bring up this topic.

Its the other way round in my house ...my parents are very relgious ( can be cultured but try and base decsions on life according to Islam).

My sister mashallah is really good muslim but the other four of us need a push. I am trying but I must admit I get neglectful