Teenage/Young Marriage

[Saint Poetry]

What are your views with teenage marriage and/or young marriage(early 20s) cuz im not a very patient man and im thinking i might wanna get married soon. but first i have to get a date and do the whole american thing...i hope i dont get a prejudical girl...maybe i should dress in islamic garb then try to get a date...hm ill hav to think this over, anyways your views are welcome

[Noor]

why would u wanna do something haraam like dating to find urself a wife?

[baba]

I got married when I was 19 - but there are many halal ways to go about this and find out about your partner beforehand. Besides, dating is unlikely to reveal someone's true character either...

[`asiya]

why would u wanna do something haraam like dating to find urself a wife?

hes just learning about islam sis, hes new to the site :)

[Abu Muslim]

I think it is simply amazing and everyone should do it insha'Allah

I hope this answers your question


I'm talking about young marriages, the halal way.

[.: Anna :.]

Salam bro... dating is not the right way to find a wife, but still you can get married at a young age using other methods insha allah.
I got married at 18 and I know others who were in the same age group. (my hubby is Baba above with the weemee avatar :cool: )

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

if ur position is well enuff to marry at early age then do not delay it inshaAllah :up:

[Al Qadr]

I wana get married b4 I'm 21 Insha'Allah
But need lots of helppppppppppppppp from Allah swt

[Rameez]

Yeh bro, its a good idea to get married. Good luck finding you partner :) im 19 and have been trying since i was 17 but still no luck. Patients is a virtue.

[Saint Poetry]

well im 17 now, and i actually hav a question, are ther any requirements of me to make in marriage because of islam?

[Abdelrhman]

:salams

Saint poetry, you'd need to be able to support your wife and eventually a family.

No one's gonna marry off their daughter to some guy who still has 6 years of college ahead of him and has no idea what he's gonna do with his life still.

Also, a good education.
And most important: A good practicing Muslim!!

[`asiya]

Allah tells us that men are the maintainers and protectors of women.

"Men are the maintainers and protectors of women, for Allah has made one to have greater responsibilities over the other, and because they spend of their wealth, their property (for the support of women)"

Quran, Surah 4:Ayat 34

And the prophet Muhammad may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him said,

" Fear Allah when it comes to women, for they are helpers you took in faithfulness to Allah. You also find it permissible to enjoy them lawfully ( in marriage) You owe it to them to spend money on them for their food and clothes and in kindness." Sahih Muslim

So if you can afford to marry, ie: u can support your wife financially,and provide her with clothes and food and a home, then u should get married, when a muslim man marries he gives his wife a dowry, which is a small amount of money for her personal use to with as she pleases.

That being said there are many examples from the life and times of Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, where his freinds were very poor and had nothing much to give to to their new brides or to support them with, but their wives to be were pious women, who werent interested in worldy posessions, and they made do. we never worry too much about money as muslims, because we know that Allah is the one who will provide all we need.

Its recommended by the prophet muhammad peace be upon him, to marry a religious woman, who will be a good wife to you, and a good mother to your children.

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, "A woman can be married married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers."

the understanding of this hadith according to our scolars, is do not marry women solely for their beauty or wealth, because beauty may lead her towards evil (Infidelity) and wealth will cause her to rebel and disobey. Thus make deen (religion) the criterion and marry religious (pious) women. but theres nothing wrong with marrying a beautiful pious woman of course, because she will never do you any wrong.

Allah also says in the Quran in

surah 30 ayat 21. And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.

so getting married means that your wife is entrusted to you by almighty Allah so as muslims we always have to bear this in mind, and treat our spouses well. Theres nothing wrong with getting married young at all, in fact it could be a source of so many blessings just take care to marry a good religious woman insha Allah :up:

[wicked]

salaam
thats so cute anna and baba u 2 are married and come to ummah. well i m 28 a sister and was never married i don't know if Allah has planned my destiny for marriage cuz i m so old.

[Saint Poetry]

i was mainly asking if i should marry a muslim girl, cuz they be hard to find in the states, and im not so good with accents, cept british and mexican...

[GothiKa]

As far as I am concerned, teenage marriages in this age are inexpedient. I think a man who wishes to marry should at least be financially independant: he should be able to provide for his wife, himself, and his family. When one marries at an early age, and he has no job, a burden will be imposed on his family or his wife's family. It's as though a new child has come into the house(assuming the wife lives with the husband).

[A_Muminah]

As-Salaamu 'Alaykum,

Akhee, there are plenty of Muslim sisters in the United States, you just need to 'keep your eyes open'. A lot of times you can speak to brothers who have sisters or they can perhaps suggest a sister.

My sister got engaged to an 18-year old when she was 11 (No, it was not a 'forced' marriage), I dont know how young you're thinking about but AlHumdu-Lillaah, she is 25 now and has 3 beautiful boys with her husband. This happened in the United States so Insha-Allaah if you make the intention and do it for the sake of Allaah, Allaah will surely help you in what you intend.

As far as I am concerned, teenage marriages in this age are inexpedient. I think a man who wishes to marry should at least be financially independant: he should be able to provide for his wife, himself, and his family. When one marries at an early age, and he has no job, a burden will be imposed on his family or his wife's family. It's as though a new child has come into the house(assuming the wife lives with the husband).

That depends. Indeed Allaah Knows best.

Was-Salaamu 'Alaykum Wa Rahmatulaah

[Saint Poetry]

well i dont know any brothers much less sisters, andi hav a steady income, and i will have a steady7 income even after i leave high school and college. even i wer to get married tomarrow i would be able to support my wife and i(after all i supported my mother and i for quite awile). altho children are a differnt story, i would have to wait until i have at least a bachelors degree

[`asiya]

most important thing is to learn about Islam first, decide if you would like to take the declaration of faith ( the shaddah) then everything else really will fall into place for you. Allah will take care of all your needs, and will provide for you from ways u never thought possible, because the promise of Allah is true :up:

[Saint Poetry]

well i need to know the basics, and i dont know what to ask cuz i know ill forget something. but im sure after i know the basics i will be willing to take the declaration of faith

[`asiya]

well i need to know the basics, and i dont know what to ask cuz i know ill forget something. but im sure after i know the basics i will be willing to take the declaration of faith

yep your absolutely right http://www.islam-guide.com/ here try this site for starters it has a lot of good info Alhamdulillah ( put it in your questions thread too)

[Saint Poetry]

wow...thats amazing...i hav only one question. How do i take the declarations of faith?

[`asiya]

wow...thats amazing...i hav only one question. How do i take the declarations of faith?

all u do is to say and of course belive with all your heart and soul, " i bear witness that there is only one deity worthy of worship, almighty Allah and i bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and messenger "

u say it in arabic like this:

Ashadu an lla ilaha il Allah, wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasul ullah"

remember being a muslim means to submit to almighty Allah,and includes accepting the articles of faith, so be sure to learn all u can insha Allah i`ll post some more info in your questions thread for u to read up on insha Allah

[Saint Poetry]

praise be to Allah, for letting us into his kingdom. and praise be to muhammad, for telling us the word of Allah

[`asiya]

praise be to Allah, for letting us into his kingdom. and praise be to muhammad, for telling us the word of Allah

Alhamdulillah we praise Allah for sending us Muhammad peace be upon him, remember for a muslim Allah the almighty is the only one worthy of worship :) this is the big difference between Islam and christianity,we worship Allah alone, but when we mention the name of Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him, we always ask Allah to send his peace and blessings upon him, We do the same for prophet Jesus, peace be upon him, moses peace be upon him and all of the prophets, but i see what ur saying Alhamdulillah

[Saint Poetry]

i speak in very weird ways, believe me i know

[Lu'Lu]

salaam
thats so cute anna and baba u 2 are married and come to ummah. well i m 28 a sister and was never married i don't know if Allah has planned my destiny for marriage cuz i m so old.

Awww sis dont say that, :( . InshaAllah Allah has written for you to get married. Never lose hope and keep making dua. You know what, I know of a sister who was 31 and not married. And she was such a beautiful sister in every single way, her deen, her character, you would think why she was not getting married? But she was so patient and she kept making dua, eventually she married a brother who was actually younger than her, educated, good character, religous and mashaAllah a year later they had a baby girl.

I bet she used to think that maybe she would not get married, but look how Allah (swt) compensated her. And I also discovered, that that sister used to make the dua of Umm Salamah. When Abu Salamah passed away, Umm Salamah was widowed and made the dua

'Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiuun. Allahumma ajurnee fee museebati, wakh luflee khayrum minha'

To Allah we belong and to Him is Our Return. Oh Allah, alleviate from me my distress, and give me something better than it.

And Allah (SWT) gave her a husband, and that husband was the Prophet Muhammad (SAW). SubhanaAllah who could be a better husband than him?

So make that dua sis and do not lose hope inshaAllah. And remember that Allah (SWT) tests people in different ways and this may be your test. Some people may get married young, but Allah (SWT) may choose to test them with their children, their wealth, their health and even their marriage. But inshaAllah as Muslims, we know that there is khayr in EVERYTHING for the believers..

[Kal-El]

Unfortunately marrying young, when you have no relevant money, is not realistic or atleast a conventional marriage lifestyle at this age is unrealistic to due to one thing; money.

It's the way that society in the West is formulated; I gurantee you alot more (even Non-Muslims) would marry young if there wasnt financial constraints. But realistically, there is.

I'd love to marry this afternoon or do my Nikah after I finish my breakfast, but it's not going to happen unless a bag of cash lands on my bed.

It's the cold and sad truth. We have to work and save up. But many of us are studying and so can really work part-time and it would take several years in saving up to be to afford some kind of wedding for your bride, and it would be impossible in renting out a place and paying it with money working part-time.

When I have children inshallah, this experience has taught me to save up well for them just in case they get an idea of marrying young. I'll need to support them financially, but my family doesn't have the ability to support me and a wife so it can't happen just yet.

[outlandish]

apart from the financial issues mentioned one should only get married when ur mature and mentally ready for it

[Saint Poetry]

im ready to get married finacially, mentally, and i am mature enough for it. im ready to get married, i just need a bride

[Kal-El]

I thought you said you were 17?

If you are ready, then i wish you luck in finding a good person to share your life with :)

[Saint Poetry]

i am 17 but i hav a good income until i finish college and by then ill hav a better income

[Saint Poetry]

i get over $1000 a month from the government for my fathers retirement and for child support, plus for social security

[`asiya]

dont worry bro Sp some people may not be mature enough to think about marriage at your age, but others get married and are mature enough and prepared for it, i married at 18 was the best thing i ever did,i have two lovely sons Alhamdulillah. A freind of mine got married when she was 15 her husband 16 and theyre still married 12 years later and have 3 lovely children, my grandparents married at age 14 and 16 and were happily married for 70 years, so there u go, u know your own situation and yourself better than anyone else.May Allah ta ala send u a pious, kind and generous wife amin

[Saint Poetry]

Blessed be to Allah for his guidence. Ameen.

[Zahyrah]

What are your views with teenage marriage and/or young marriage(early 20s) cuz im not a very patient man and im thinking i might wanna get married soon. but first i have to get a date and do the whole american thing...i hope i dont get a prejudical girl...maybe i should dress in islamic garb then try to get a date...hm ill hav to think this over, anyways your views are welcome

mashallah bro, go to the masjid and let it be known youre looking to be wed and in no time you'll have people asking you to meet their daughter, meet them speak to them and marry the one you like best inshaallah!
no dating needed.

I believe marriage shouldnt be delayed, and that everyone who can should get married in early twenties or even late teens for girls, i was married young and its great, we grow and change together and I wasnt even muslim when i met my hubby. so go find a bride bro, inshaallah you'll be blessed with a woman who will help you atain jannah.

[me.sawda]

mashallah Zahyrah! Thats so nice inspiration. In todays society people keep saying to marry at late 20's or at 30's. Which has caused lot of sin's in the society. We should spread the consequences ourselves! Allah's reward is waiting!

[Saint Poetry]

well i wish it wer that simple, i hav a year before i can legally be married. i can be engaged sure, and i highly doubt people will be offering their daughters to me, i highly doubt that. im white, big and i look like a hoodlum when i dress in street clothes(which is all i hav at the moment) plus...im not so bold as that, see im a romantic, and i believe in choosing a girl that will love me, not one that is forced. i wish to have a bride who will cherish me and not curse me. i found a mosque here in my town i just hav to find a way to get to it. point is, i may be physically ready, i may be financaly ready, i may be mature enough. but the question is will my wife love me or will she just do as her parents ask? i want a beautiful wife not for my own lust, but for her own self respect. i want my wife to be willing to come out in public with me in full islamic garb, to be able to walk among the racists, and not care. for i believe if she is beautful, she will care less for what people think of her dress, and more for how she acts around her husband.

[`asiya]

may Allah send u such a wife amin.

[Saint Poetry]

also i dont know of any masjids, i know of an islamic center, but thats it, so i might go there and ask for guidence, hopefully they can help me

[Raziel]

Insha'allah/God Willing they will be able to help you bro! :up:

[Saint Poetry]

im just curious if i should get the garb before i go or what

[`asiya]

It doesnt matter, just go along and tell them u just became muslim, and insha Allah they will be able to give u a copy of the Quran, and some books for new muslims, and help to teach u the prayer and everything insha Allah u will find them welcoming :up:

[Saint Poetry]

well i found this website for muslims(new ones) and it sends me a free package that has a quran a prayer rug a few books on islam and the such

[Kal-El]

Does this mean Saint Poetry is the newly crowned 'Romeo'?

:D

[Kal-El]

well i found this website for muslims(new ones) and it sends me a free package that has a quran a prayer rug a few books on islam and the such

What website is this bro?

[`asiya]

well i found this website for muslims(new ones) and it sends me a free package that has a quran a prayer rug a few books on islam and the such

Alhamdulilah fantastic drop them a line insha Allah :up:

[Saint Poetry]

Does this mean Saint Poetry is the newly crowned 'Romeo'?

:D

romeo? plz explain...

[Saint Poetry]

Alhamdulilah fantastic drop them a line insha Allah :up:

i did and ive been getting calls all morning from islamic hotlines offering me free stuff and one guy asked me to do the declaration with him and i did, it was wonderful

[Saint Poetry]

What website is this bro?

http://www.icnanj.org/dawah/

[Kal-El]

http://www.icnanj.org/dawah/

Pardon me, but where are the "free" goodies?

[Saint Poetry]

they are on the right side u go down a little and it says welcoming package, its totally free for new reverts

[`asiya]

i did and ive been getting calls all morning from islamic hotlines offering me free stuff and one guy asked me to do the declaration with him and i did, it was wonderful

Alhamdulillah thats wonderful, may Allah the almighty continue to bless u, and guide u always.amin

[Saint Poetry]

yes maY Allah guide me in other matters as well

[Rameez]

Welcome to Islam my brother Saint Poetry :)

[Saint Poetry]

thank you

[Lost_Princess]

i find teenage marriages pathetic especially around 18 -20 where i come from in aussie most of the men around that age are still very childish and act like 13 yr olds most of them cant even hold down a job the perfect age is when the male can provide for his wife and has a stable job and is in his deen and that is so hard to find here in aus :)

[Asma-SE]

Im 18 next month and getting married to a 21 year old in the summer, i think yung marriages are great! as long as ur mature

[*Muhammad*]

What are your views with teenage marriage and/or young marriage(early 20s) cuz im not a very patient man and im thinking i might wanna get married soon.

no pro, go ahead, if u can do it and take the responsibilty why not, study it and think a lot be4though

[*Muhammad*]

Im 18 next month and getting married to a 21 year old in the summer, i think yung marriages are great! as long as ur mature

Mabrook-Mubarakan inshallah (i.e. may it be blessed)
Congratulations:)

[Buthaynah]

Im 18 next month and getting married to a 21 year old in the summer, i think yung marriages are great! as long as ur mature

SubhanAllah MashAllah
Congratulations sister.

Im FOR young marriage all the way. Surely there is some truth in the saying 'Prevention is better than Cure'. To marry is preventing some haram and is protecting.Furthermore, it is half of the deen and therefore it brings one closer to Allah azza wa jal !

[Saint Poetry]

i will be married some time within the next year i hope, or at least engaged, and i hope its to the girl im thinking of. i realize yall said love marriages dont work out, but she and i have been there for each other for 4 years, through thick and thin we wer there for each other. me and her went through a cutting phase, and we made a promise to each other that we wouldnt cut so long as the other one didnt cut, funny thing is we made that same promise to others and could never keep it, yet we kept it with each other. i realize "dating" is not the muslim way, but i feel it may be the only way for her and her family to accept me, her parents hated me 2 years ago cuz im from the states(she's from canada, dont ask long story). but she doesnt live with them anymore, and now i can talk with her...kinda.

you see she doesnt have a steady place to live. yet she tells me she will get one soon, with an ex bf. i have an issue with this as im sure many of you do as well. but i trust her, she has never intentionally hurt me, i dont believe she ever will either. no i love her, she and i are destined for each other since the day we met 4 years ago, i can feel it.

call me blind, call me what you will, but i love her and that will never change. and if i let her go when i have a chance at flourishing that love, then my heart will forever be cracked, if not broken. i am a dramatic person. but i believe what i say with all my heart, so please. keep us in your prayers, keep us in ur dua, may Allah guide me through life, and may He help me guide her to Him.

Ameen

[Kauthar]

assalamu alaikum

Congratulations Aalim on your acceptance of Islam. I'm very happy for you and I hope you take it all in the stride and don't get put off by the loads of information which you need to learn. May Allah make it easy for you ameen.

I would sincerely advise you as my muslim brother that now you've become a muslim, its a new phase of your life and you should aim to live your life as a muslim and in the manner which Allah wants you to. It would be best for you to marry a strong and practicing muslim woman since you are obviously ready to get married. There are good muslim women who love you for who you are and for the fact that you became muslim despite the odds.

You see, this female friend of yours is I believe a very nice and supportive friend of yours. See if you can invite her to Islam. If you really do care about her as much as you say you do (and I totally believe that you do), then invite her to Islam; learn Islam together and if she responds positively, then it would be best for you both. However, if she is not interested in becoming muslim, it might be difficult for you to marry her (although you care for her) because she will be unable to provide you with the support and encouragement you need to become a stronger muslim.

Please remember that any decisions you make in your life (especially about who to marry) should be based on Islam and what is best for you as a muslim. If you do that, then insha Allah, you will be rewarded by Allah for your patience in adhering to the truth.

N.B insha Allah literally translates as "if Alllah wills"
muslims usually use this phrase when speaking about the future because Allah said in chapter 18 of the Qur'an "and do not say of something -I will do such and such tomorrow - but rather, say if Allah wills"
this reminds us that everything that happens and everything we do is due to the will of Allah and we cannot do anything except if Allah has willed for us to do it.

Insha Allah, I hope you find my advice useful and please inform me if you need any clarifications on what I have said.

Assalamu alaikum

[-Espérer-]

May Allah make you successful in everything good you want to do, aameen.

I think early marriage are a good way to keep away from doing things majoly haram. I would get married ASAP if I could, but sometimes circumstances get in the way and we just have to be patient.

[Saint Poetry]

well, complications have arisen, the girl seems to want to date some more before she gets married, so i guess those plans are off:( oh well thats life i guess. im sure i will find a good wife. and insha Allah ill find a good muslim girl or a girl willing to study the muslim religion and hav a strong faith with me

[`asiya]

insha Allah u will find such a sister to marry, may Allah ta ala bless u with a pious wife amin

[Lambo5688]

omg. Us muslims do get married young. That means....when I turn 19, ill be considered a grandpa and noone will marry me. noooooo must not let that happen!!


Anyway, congrats on becoming a muslim Saint Poetry! Best decision you will ever make.

[Al-Muhaajiroun]

deleted

[Al-Muhaajiroun]

deleted

[Al-Muhaajiroun]

What are your views with teenage marriage and/or young marriage(early 20s) cuz im not a very patient man and im thinking i might wanna get married soon. but first i have to get a date and do the whole american thing...i hope i dont get a prejudical girl...maybe i should dress in islamic garb then try to get a date...hm ill hav to think this over, anyways your views are welcome

As Salaamu Alaikum :)

hehe seems like i'm seeing myself in you. Have sabr bro, and please don't say that i dont understand because im probably the only one understands YOU much better than anyone else. Alhumdulillah I got married recently almost 2 months ago and trust me i have been where you have been. I've been waiting for 6 YEARS to get married and because there wasn't alot of people who helped me out it got me down sometimes (STRESS MODE :D ) But of course brothers and sisters ALLAH (swt) knows best, ALLAH swt knows you and me much better than we know ourselfs so please have that in mind because now i look back although i met a few sister to get married to it just did not work out between us and there was always an obstacle in my way in getting married, and obvious that was a sign from ALLAH swt that i'm not ready yet in getting married although you may think you are and although you mite think that the sisters you have met with an intention of getting married are soo good sisters for you, but obvious we are only humans and ALLAH swt knows what is good for you. You will only get a good pious sister Insha ALLAH if your going about it the right way, but if your going the wrong way in finding yourself a wife then you will only be shooting yourself in the foot. And while you guys and girls are waiting to get married read upon marriage in Islam as its very important how to be a good husband to your wife and how to treat them kindly and vice versa for girls to in how to treat your husbands, Masha ALLAH its very helpful, if i didnt read upon marriage i would of been in deep trouble and stuck :D . And for the guys look out for a word called bent ribb and take a notice of that. :D

Wa Alaikumu Salaam

[Saint Poetry]

i thank you for this and i will keep this in mind. may Allah bless your marriage and my quest for a wife.

Ameen

[ghanamuslima]

Haram :(

[.: Anna :.]

Sister I dont think there is much point bumping old posts just to add one word :s

[.: hayat :.]

What are your views with teenage marriage and/or young marriage(early 20s) cuz im not a very patient man and im thinking i might wanna get married soon. but first i have to get a date and do the whole american thing...i hope i dont get a prejudical girl...maybe i should dress in islamic garb then try to get a date...hm ill hav to think this over, anyways your views are welcome

not very good earlier than 23...i think...

[umm Asiya]

Assalamuwalaikum dear brother in islam, i pray this reaches to you with a smile inshaAllah

Congratulations on reverting to islam, Alhamdulillah thummah (again) Alhamdulillah (All Praise is for Allah)

Have you considered doing isthikaara? its a special duaa for marriage brother, maybe that is whats missing from your quest, i do not have the duaa electronically, but if the other sisters or brothers have the duaa maybe they could send it to you inshAllah, you will benefit greatly from it, and it will help you to find a spouse.

just something i wanted to share with you all, i read it and its so beautiful i just had to put it on here:
The Fiqh of Love: Marriage in Islam

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put Love and mercy between your (hearts) verily in that are signs for those who reflect."
- ArRum 30:21

"Of Love--may God exalt you!--the first part is jesting, and the last part is right earnestness. So majestic are its diverse aspects, they are too subtle to be described; their reality can only be apprehended by personal experience. Love is neither disapproved by Religion, nor prohibited by the Law; for every heart is in God's hands."
- Ibn Hazm

smile
Allah hafiz

[Medievalist]

Marry young and multiply:

from the dictates of Med. :D:D

[bornschlocky]

Sounds like you're referring to bacteria

[Medievalist]

Sounds like you're referring to bacteria

r u a jew?

[Quest]

you see she doesnt have a steady place to live. yet she tells me she will get one soon, with an ex bf. i have an issue with this as im sure many of you do as well. but i trust her, she has never intentionally hurt me, i dont believe she ever will either.

Man thats a lot of trust, ur ok with her getting a place to live with an ex boyfriend?

do u not know shaytan will be her messenger to him, and his messenger to her.

[Al Qadr]

r u a jew?

:rotfl: