Would you marry someone who has been married before?

[sunrise]

As salam ou lakoum

I know this topic was probably been done a million times but please bare with me:D

This is to bros and sis but mainly sisters...

Would you marry someone who has been married before?


Would you have an issue with you not being their first

Say the person is still young and doesn't have any children from their previosu marriage and the reason for the break up was the other person cheating so it wasn't his/her fault.

They are good in their deen from what you can see... and mashAllah you don't have a problem with their looks/race or what have you..

So yes or no??

And please give REASON why...jazakAllah

Sunrise:rolleyes:

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

inshaAllah i wud not have problem with that, its about time who comes 1st gets me 1st :D

[sunrise]

inshaAllah i wud not have problem with that, its about time who comes 1st gets me 1st :D


lol jazakAllah for the response...keep em coming please...

[-Espérer-]

Yep, why not?

[bint]

tbh..i proll would get married to him..its not like hes got a fault..:up:

[Na'eemah]

Dunno.

[Fais]

As salam ou lakoum

I know this topic was probably been done a million times but please bare with me:D

This is to bros and sis but mainly sisters...

Would you marry someone who has been married before?


Would you have an issue with you not being their first

Say the person is still young and doesn't have any children from their previosu marriage and the reason for the break up was the other person cheating so it wasn't his/her fault.

They are good in their deen from what you can see... and mashAllah you don't have a problem with their looks/race or what have you..

So yes or no??

And please give REASON why...jazakAllah

Sunrise:rolleyes:

Yes ... if they did have children from there first marriage ... then i would make sure im stable but the answer still would be yes.

[ur_yusra]

I would be abit jealous that he had someone before :rolleyes:

But yeah if he was practising had excellent deen then I would I suppose.

[bint]

I would be abit jealous that he had someone before :rolleyes:

But yeah if he was practising had excellent deen then I would I suppose.
oh yeah dint think about that before..what if he thinks too much about the previous one..i mean unless shes an evil cow:D

[ur_yusra]

oh yeah dint think about that before..what if he thinks too much about the previous one..i mean unless shes an evil cow:D

Yeah thats the thing.. if he cheated on her then how do you know hes 100% over her?

[sunrise]

I would be abit jealous that he had someone before :rolleyes:

But yeah if he was practising had excellent deen then I would I suppose.


Innit lol! ahem who said that? *runs*

[H_2]

oh yeah dint think about that before..what if he thinks too much about the previous one..i mean unless shes an evil cow:D

LOL.

[`asiya]

our example is muhammad salallahu alleyhi wa salam, he married khadijah who was twice married before and 15 years older then him, and he was never married before salallah allayhi wa salam, and the sahabbas and the sahabiyat radiallahu anhum who were never previously married, also married men and women who had been married before so these kind of questions are not even an issue for us muslims masha Allah :up: the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam advised us that if a man of good deen comes to ask for a womans hand in marriage then we should marry them or there will be a great fitnah in the land.

[sunrise]

oh yeah dint think about that before..what if he thinks too much about the previous one..i mean unless shes an evil cow:D


well say she cheated on him...how more evil do you get

[sunrise]

our example is muhammad salallahu alleyhi wa salam, he married khadijah who was twice married before and 15 years older then him, and he was never married before salallah allayhi wa salam, and the sahabbas and the sahabiyat radiallahu anhum who were never previously married, also married men and women who had been married before so these kind of questions are not even an issue for us muslims masha Allah :up: the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam advised us that if a man of good deen comes to ask for a womans hand in marriage then we should marry them or there will be a great fitnah in the land.


True true, i guess sometimes you just wanan be in teh same boat as them..but yuou can take it in a good way that they are more experienced and know how to deal with problems etc

[bint]

Yeah thats the thing.. if he cheated on her then how do you know hes 100% over her?

well say she cheated on him...how more evil do you get


well if he cheated on her..
then i wouldnt marry him...see he could do that again..better to be safethan sorry.

and sunrise..if she cheated on him..then he may still have a bit of love for that first wife...and its horrifying if he mentions her name..and thinkin of her n that..:rubeyes:

[ur_yusra]

well if he cheated on her..
then i wouldnt marry him...see he could do that again..better to be safethan sorry.

and sunrise..if she cheated on him..then he may still have a bit of love for that first wife...and its horrifying if he mentions her name..and thinkin of her n that..:rubeyes:

Yeh :S:S

[bint]

Yeh :S:S


see...mann its confusin yeah..:up:

[sunrise]

well if he cheated on her..
then i wouldnt marry him...see he could do that again..better to be safethan sorry.

and sunrise..if she cheated on him..then he may still have a bit of love for that first wife...and its horrifying if he mentions her name..and thinkin of her n that..:rubeyes:


Oh mann now that is a scary thought!! But if they weren't married for long i sopose they wouldnt have had that much love between them

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

well if he cheated on her..
then i wouldnt marry him...see he could do that again..better to be safethan sorry.

and sunrise..if she cheated on him..then he may still have a bit of love for that first wife...and its horrifying if he mentions her name..and thinkin of her n that..:rubeyes:

dont worry sis, men r easy on forgeting things speacialy like these :up:

[sunrise]

dont worry sis, men r easy on forgeting things speacialy like these :up:


how you mean...forgettign what?

[ur_yusra]

how you mean...forgettign what?

Actually its true.. you see men whose wives die and they get married again the next day :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Ebony]

Yeah well if he's divorced her, then that implies he wants nothing more to do with her - so thinking about her although not completely likely, isn't unlikely either.

If he still "cared" for her - he'd still be married to her. Thats my assumption anyway.

[bint]

Oh mann now that is a scary thought!! But if they weren't married for long i sopose they wouldnt have had that much love between them

some men do have past thoughts..

dont worry sis, men r easy on forgeting things speacialy like these :up:


not all men..which is why its worrying:D

[`asiya]

True true, i guess sometimes you just wanan be in teh same boat as them..but yuou can take it in a good way that they are more experienced and know how to deal with problems etc

ya ukhti :) every marriage is new, and everyone is in the same boat when they get married even if they had been married a hundred times before, every single relationship and what goes with that is completely different because its brand new to both of you to be with each other masha Allah,and every single set of problems are different and the way two people manage that together will be completely different to how any other married couple deal with it, even if u marry a very young brother whoose never married before he could have more maturity and be more responsible than a 60 year old brother whoose 4 times divorced,and visa versa, were all unique Alhamdulillah, and every single marriage is unique too masha Allah :) thats why it all comes down to deen and deen alone, and i`ll go out on a limb here and say that any other concerns are from the whispers of shiatan.. wa Allahu alam

[sunrise]

But i sopose it's a risk you have to take right?

[bint]

Yeah well if he's divorced her, then that implies he wants nothing more to do with her - so thinking about her although not completely likely, isn't unlikely either.

If he still "cared" for her - he'd still be married to her. Thats my assumption anyway.
well sis i have an argument for you..

men divorce for many reasons..sometimes cultural sometimes personal..

one being that the wife isnt compatible with the family as well.

she doesnt get along with the family n that is a problem for him..so he decideds to divorce her..

but he still loves her..

now u get me sis?

[bint]

But i sopose it's a risk you have to take right?
depends really. what the guy is like..whats his background like..personality etc.genuine..

[ur_yusra]

well sis i have an argument for you..

men divorce for many reasons..sometimes cultural sometimes personal..

one being that the wife isnt compatible with the family as well.

she doesnt get along with the family n that is a problem for him..so he decideds to divorce her..

but he still loves her..

now u get me sis?

A man isn't a man if he divorces his wife that he still loves.. thats abit stupid if you ask me.

[bint]

A man isn't a man if he divorces his wife that he still loves.. thats abit stupid if you ask me.


well over here we arent discussing what a man is.

what we are discussing is wether he still think about her or not.

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

Actually its true.. you see men whose wives die and they get married again the next day :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

daleel?:rolleyes:

some men do have past thoughts..
not all men..which is why its worrying:D

well it works for all men, if they were cheated they dont feel the same for the person so no need to worry abt it + its not sure u realy gona get marry to such person who knows what Allah has selected for u

[sunrise]

well over here we arent discussing what a man is.

what we are discussing is wether he still think about her or not.


Maybe the new wife can make him forget:D

[`asiya]

But i sopose it's a risk you have to take right?

my father always told me "if u dont take risks in life u may never find happiness" if hes good in deen then thats enough masha Allah, if we marry for any other reason we will be loosers, and our prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam wouldnt ever lie to us so i take his advice salallahu aleyhi wa salam.

[Ebony]

well sis i have an argument for you..

men divorce for many reasons..sometimes cultural sometimes personal..

one being that the wife isnt compatible with the family as well.

she doesnt get along with the family n that is a problem for him..so he decideds to divorce her..

but he still loves her..

now u get me sis?

Well if it really bothers a person, that he still "loves" his ex, but wishes and shows an interest in marrying you then I suppose they could ask if he still cares for her (not sure HOW you would ask that, or when but you can)

However, if he shows an interest in marrying you - then one should give him the benefit of the doubt and not assume he'll be slack in creating a loving relationship because of certain baggage he "may" have about his prior r'ship :up:

[bint]

daleel?:rolleyes:



well it works for all men, if they were cheated they dont feel the same for the person so no need to worry abt it + its not sure u realy gona get marry to such person who knows what Allah has selected for u

yeah but then again *sighs* u cant speak for all of em:D


Maybe the new wife can make him forget:D


aye aye:hidban:

[H_2]

well sis i have an argument for you..

men divorce for many reasons..sometimes cultural sometimes personal..

one being that the wife isnt compatible with the family as well.

she doesnt get along with the family n that is a problem for him..so he decideds to divorce her..

but he still loves her..

now u get me sis?

This is rare......men whos wives dont get one with their families usually move out and live alone instead of divorcing em.

[bint]

Well if it really bothers a person, that he still "loves" his ex, but wishes and shows an interest in marrying you then I suppose they could ask if he still cares for her (not sure HOW you would ask that, or when but you can)

However, if he shows an interest in marrying you - then one should give him the benefit of the doubt and not assume he'll be slack in creating a loving relationship because of certain baggage he "may" have about his prior r'ship :up:

yeah good point.:up:

[sunrise]

This is rare......men whos wives dont get one with their families usually move out and live alone instead of divorcing em.



What if it's not a problem because he is a revert....so it's more the been married before thing

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

well over here we arent discussing what a man is.

what we are discussing is wether he still think about her or not.

there is no reason thinking about her when she is long gone

if he is a practicing brother he wont thing about any non-mehram coz he know if he starts thinking about any its from shaytan who is trying to divert his atention n there is no such relation islamicaly
he gona accept it as the will of Allah so no worries

sorry i aint takin side of men as being a man but its more likly men pshycology

[`asiya]

a lot of women drive themselves half insane worrying about what a man may or may not be thinking, they see a billboard with some half naked woman on it, and they start to think "oh did he see that? i bet he looked at that! im sure his eyes glanced up there! oh how could he! oh i bet he wont find me as attractive as her! oh oh oh blah blah blah" , by the time they get home her heads in a spin and the wifes not speaking to him and half hates him and he doesnt even know what hes supposed to have done wrong :rolleyes: this is from the whispers of shaitan

[bint]

there is no reason thinking about her when she is long gone

if he is a practicing brother he wont thing about any non-mehram coz he know if he starts thinking about any its from shaytan who is trying to divert his atention n there is no such relation islamicaly
he gona accept it as the will of Allah so no worries

sorry i aint takin side of men as being a man but its more likly men pshycology


see ure talking how it SHOULD be.

which isnt always the case.

[H_2]

What if it's not a problem because he is a revert....so it's more the been married before thing

Yeh...well than just bring it out in the open how he feels about his ex. Ask him if he still has feelings for her.

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

a lot of women drive themselves half insane worrying about what a man may or may not be thinking, they see a billboard with some half naked woman on it, and they start to think "oh did he see that? i bet he looked at that! im sure his eyes glanced up there! oh how could he! oh i bet he wont find me as attractive as her! oh oh oh blah blah blah" , by the time they get home her heads in a spin and the wifes not speaking to him and half hates him and he doesnt even know what hes supposed to have done wrong :rolleyes: this is from the whispers of shaitan

subhanAllah thats true :up:

[imama]

AsslamOAlaykum

yeh i dont see a reason y one shouldn't .. but 2 b realistic it al depends on when the time comes.. tehres a hadith aswell. i thin it relates to both men nd women.. that if u r getting married 1st tym its better to marry someone who's not been married b4 too.. ??
dont know what i'll do..

[`asiya]

Yeh...well than just bring it out in the open how he feels about his ex. Ask him if he still has feelings for her.

noooooo its none of her buisness he shouldnt even be speaking about his ex at all full stop, and no one should ask about someone elses marriage, they are divorced khalass end of, no discussion needed, a woman will drive herself insane with that kind of info (we women are like that ) ( brothers never speak about other women to your wife, especially if u have two wives or more)

[Ebony]

a lot of women drive themselves half insane worrying about what a man may or may not be thinking, they see a billboard with some half naked woman on it, and they start to think "oh did he see that? i bet he looked at that! im sure his eyes glanced up there! oh how could he! oh i bet he wont find me as attractive as her! oh oh oh blah blah blah" , by the time they get home her heads in a spin and the wifes not speaking to him and half hates him and he doesnt even know what hes supposed to have done wrong :rolleyes: this is from the whispers of shaitan

Lol...so true :rolleyes:

Some women sincerely believe he has to be completely infatuated with you - thinking of you every hour/min of the day - otherwise he doesn't "love" you :wacko:

Men just aren't programmed to be like that :smack:

Its preoccupation for women...of the wrong kind

[`asiya]

lol exactly sis ebony, sisters remember hes married to you because he loves you! dont drive him away into the arms of another who didnt even exist in his head till you started banging on about it

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

see ure talking how it SHOULD be.

which isnt always the case.

well if thats the case then no need to marry a non-practicing even if he is pure, or even pure who do u know he wont find another women more atractive than u? get me?

when makin a decision u gota put all the knowledge of deen front of u then take help from that knowledge n decide what u want n waht is best for u n leave that matter to Allah to guide u

worry? what a person shud b worry about? i dont realy get it

a man can marry 4 wives n sum realy do it too, r the other left out? answer is no
on the other hand women can marry only 1 man at a time

for a man what more disturbing is if his women purity is put on a chalange, who knows what she has done b4 how her character was, is she realy repented? but still Men marry without questioning the past beliving its from Allah

[H_2]

noooooo its none of her buisness he shouldnt even be speaking about his ex at all full stop, and no one should ask about someone elses marriage, they are divorced khalass end of, no discussion needed, a woman will drive herself insane with that kind of info (we women are like that ) ( brothers never speak about other women to your wife, especially if u have two wives or more)


Noo all im saying that if theirs slightest doubt in her mind wether he still loves her she should bring this up politely asking how do you feel about your previous wife. And if he says i have no feelings for her, than that should be the end of it. She shouldnt be thinking that just cuz he was married to her before he must still have feelings for her :up:

[Fais]

a lot of women drive themselves half insane worrying about what a man may or may not be thinking, they see a billboard with some half naked woman on it, and they start to think "oh did he see that? i bet he looked at that! im sure his eyes glanced up there! oh how could he! oh i bet he wont find me as attractive as her! oh oh oh blah blah blah" , by the time they get home her heads in a spin and the wifes not speaking to him and half hates him and he doesnt even know what hes supposed to have done wrong :rolleyes: this is from the whispers of shaitan

:rotfl: ...

[`asiya]

Noo all im saying that if theirs slightest doubt in her mind wether he still loves her she should bring this up politely asking how do you feel about your previous wife. And if he says i have no feelings for her, than that should be the end of it. She shouldnt be thinking that just cuz he was married to her before he must still have feelings for her :up:

sorry akhi i didnt mean to jump on your post there, i just mean that the proof he has no feelings for her is he divorced her, and wants to marry another, see for us muslim sisters we need to get over this type of thinking because our husbands can marry again anyway so what if he loves another woman too? masha Allah as sis ebony pointed out thats the way Allah ta ala made men, and we need to keep our jelousy in check, so we might get a little jelous about a current wife, fine, but an ex wife? naaaa not worth mashing our heads up over insha Allah

[H_2]

sorry akhi i didnt mean to jump on your post there, i just mean that the proof he has no feelings for her is he divorced her, and wants to marry another, see for us muslim sisters we need to get over this type of thinking because our husbands can marry again anyway so what if he loves another woman too? masha Allah as sis ebony pointed out thats the way Allah ta ala made men, and we need to keep our jelousy in check, so we might get a little jelous about a current wife, fine, but an ex wife? naaaa not worth mashing our heads up over insha Allah


Yea i know what you mean sis Asiya :up:

[Aseer]

Yes

[muslimah85]

TBH Id have to know him really really well

[sunrise]

sorry akhi i didnt mean to jump on your post there, i just mean that the proof he has no feelings for her is he divorced her, and wants to marry another, see for us muslim sisters we need to get over this type of thinking because our husbands can marry again anyway so what if he loves another woman too? masha Allah as sis ebony pointed out thats the way Allah ta ala made men, and we need to keep our jelousy in check, so we might get a little jelous about a current wife, fine, but an ex wife? naaaa not worth mashing our heads up over insha Allah


MashAllah we need more sisters like u!:inlove: :inlove:

[MalikOne™]

um if id been married before den yer but if I hadnt she'd have to be damn special for me 2.

[Cristiana]

If I would love a man that has been married before the way I love my fiance, then i would definitely marry him.

I wouldn't mind not being his first partner, as long as i am his ONLY one.

However, at first i would want to know why he divorced...

[imeg.org]

In the Name of Allâh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
As Salaam-u-Alaikum

well.. if person loved the other person alot and he/she hurted him deeply.. even tho she/he gets married.. but memorize still live's.. if you do somthing.. then it will remind of them.. if you talk about stars.. it will remind of them.. whatever they did togather before.. and if you do that thing now.. it will remind them of that... you have to do extra stuff to get there intension away and dont do stuff.. which they did with previous or which reminds them of previous supose.. its not easy to get go the person you love alot.. even tho.. you might have got devorce and might be getting married.. but if person loved the other person passionly.. then its very hard to forget them... and if somthing went wrong.. then it will remind of the wife/husband that they loved and how she/he would have taken care of it...

marrying a person.. there is nothing wrong.. but you have to be sure.. that you do extra stuff.. to get there intension far away form the person that they loved before.. if they loved before.. and love is somthing hard to forget.. if you love them from heart...

khair.. it involve lots of things.. before actually deciding.. what to do and what not.. but best thing is to do istikarah and ask Allah (swt) and trust Allah (swt).. he will help you.. and guide you...

Wa Salaam-Alaikum

[MG]

i would amrry someone who has been married b4, its about your coinfidence and hwo u feel about yourself, if u keep bring her up he will start thinking about her!!

make your marriage special, make memories together, and dont ask about his past cos u will only start insecurities inside of u and feel u need to compete.

Wen u marry him, see it as if u were the only one ever in his life and u will sail thru ....

[Cashew]

I don't think men love any less deeply than women, but they love in a different way.

The last thing in the world any woman should worry about is whether her husband is thinking about his ex-wife.

Trust me. It simply never happens.

He's not comparing you to her.

He's not thinking about her in his idle moments.

When he looks up at the stars at night, he's most definitely not thinking about her.

Men simply move on.

[bosnian_sis]

yes, i would - inshaAllah ta'ala.

If he´s the right person for me and his deen & ahlaq is very well, I wouldn`t care about this if he was married or not :inlove:

[Ibn-e-Muslim]

subhanAllah here comes another carbon copy of sis (fill in the blank) :up:

we need more sisters like that :up:

may Allah b with u all Ameen

[zay_1982]

I WOULDNT mind inshallah... even if thy had kids ... hye have to b yung....

[LOLO11]

assalamu alikum wa rahmatu allh wa baraktuh

ammmmm , about this topic it is ok no problem if he had:rubeyes: kids or not , I could marry a person who previously:inlove: got married and ha had kids no problem every thing will go fine insha'a allah :hidban:

[meer]

assalamu alikum wa rahmatu allh wa baraktuh

ammmmm , about this topic it is ok no problem if he had:rubeyes: kids or not , I could marry a person who previously:inlove: got married and ha had kids no problem every thing will go fine insha'a allah :hidban:

mashallah !
may allah reward for this!

[Te'oma]

You know what, I don't care about a person's past. I have history and I it has made me who I am today but that does not mean that I am still the same as I used to be. For me to use a person's past as a scale to measure them by would be hypocritical because it is who they were and not who they are today.
All that is important would be the person standing in front of me and who they are right now and if they felt the same about me as I felt about them. That is a foundation that can be built upon

[muslim_sis]

As salam ou lakoum

I know this topic was probably been done a million times but please bare with me:D

This is to bros and sis but mainly sisters...

Would you marry someone who has been married before?


Would you have an issue with you not being their first

Say the person is still young and doesn't have any children from their previosu marriage and the reason for the break up was the other person cheating so it wasn't his/her fault.

They are good in their deen from what you can see... and mashAllah you don't have a problem with their looks/race or what have you..

So yes or no??

And please give REASON why...jazakAllah

Sunrise:rolleyes:
are u marrying them or their past !?
i would, its the deen thats important, but sayin that, it depends on circumstances i guess, if he was married before and got divorced becuase he beat his previous wife then i think i would really think twice , whereas if it was for some other reason then why not ? allahu alam

[Saint Poetry]

well say she cheated on him...how more evil do you get

my ex cheated on me wile i was attending my father funeral, with a guy she just met, in an alley

[MG]

my ex cheated on me wile i was attending my father funeral, with a guy she just met, in an alley

sounds like that was a blessing in disguise for u , sometimes we need something very drastic and painful to happen to us to make us actually open our eyes

[sunrise]

my ex cheated on me wile i was attending my father funeral, with a guy she just met, in an alley


Ouch i'm so sorry to hear that...like muslim girl said it seems to be a blessing...alhamdulilah (Thanks to Allah) you found out sooner than later.

InshAllah (God willing) you will get someone better and be guided to the truth inshAllah.

Sunrise