View Full Version : Question for the brothers
Umm 'Umarah
15-12-06, 06:22 PM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa baraktuh i know im not a bro, but hopefully the sister wouldnt be so cruel as to tell him the reason why she rejected him ( especially if it was his looks) , she doesnt have to give a reason, just have her walli tell him she has decided its not right for her would be adequate insha Allah. no need to devestate the poor bro, after all Allah ta ala has made someone for everyone,and another sister will find him devestatingly attractive and be happy to marry him insha Allah :)
Ibn-e-Muslim
15-12-06, 06:32 PM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
its her right to like my face or dislike it, if she likes it well n good if she dont still well n good, u cud b handsome/beautiful for sum but on the same time not apealing for sum
its kinda same for brothers, u cud b interested in 1 but after seeing each other u can decide wether u want it or not (however it wud b worse decision if iv to disagree to sum1 coz of her face after liking the other qualities in her)
rasool-Allah(saw) told us to see each other b4 going to marry, coz it helps so later u wont have problems
Umm 'Umarah
15-12-06, 06:35 PM
wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa baraktuh i know im not a bro, but hopefully the sister wouldnt be so cruel as to tell him the reason why she rejected him ( especially if it was his looks) , she doesnt have to give a reason, just have her walli tell him she has decided its not right for her would be adequate insha Allah. no need to devestate the poor bro, after all Allah ta ala has made someone for everyone,and another sister will find him devestatingly attractive and be happy to marry him insha Allah :)
Masha'Allah, sound advice sister..as always..:) :up: :)
So...its best for the sister not to tell the guy that thats the reason?
Ibn-e-Muslim
15-12-06, 06:49 PM
Masha'Allah, sound advice sister..as always..:) :up: :)
So...its best for the sister not to tell the guy that thats the reason?
its best for both not to tell it like that but other way
hmm they can say we dont think we r better suitable for each other in a polite way so both dont get offended
Tax-Man
15-12-06, 08:04 PM
Why the obvious of course, tell MI5 she's the leader of an Al-Qeda sleeper cell:up:
I agree with Asiya. Reason for rejection is not necessary - and preferably shouldn't be given...especially in this case :up:
.: Anna :.
15-12-06, 08:15 PM
yes its not necessary as will be hurtful, jst say dont think we will be suitable... which is true
Umm 'Umarah
15-12-06, 08:23 PM
this is kinda a hypothetical question btw.
MWarrior
15-12-06, 08:26 PM
wa alaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa baraktuh i know im not a bro, but hopefully the sister wouldnt be so cruel as to tell him the reason why she rejected him ( especially if it was his looks) , she doesnt have to give a reason, just have her walli tell him she has decided its not right for her would be adequate insha Allah. no need to devestate the poor bro, after all Allah ta ala has made someone for everyone,and another sister will find him devestatingly attractive and be happy to marry him insha Allah :)
yep:up:
Abu Muslim
15-12-06, 09:38 PM
That's why you gotta see them before deciding anything..it will be harder due to the fact that you intially agreed rather than if you just told him right from the beggining before both got interested.
This kind of things only happen with internet marriages right..because offline marriages you kinda see the person either when you're first talking to them or before you decide..
Best reason is probably to say his deen is not upto scratch..cos if you already kinda agreed can't really say his character is bad or you won't suit each other.
Abdelrhman
16-12-06, 09:22 PM
Assalamu 'alaikum
I don't agree with your last sentence Abu Muslim. That would be lying. You can just withhold the reason. It's not 'shallow' to turn someone down because of looks. This is the face you will be seeing for the rest of your life, it's not wrong to turn someone down for that. But, of course, don't take a good-looking person that's not practicing over a very pious person who doesn't look as good (in your eyes.)
u dont have to give a reason.
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 01:57 AM
I cant stand this kind of crap. Boys tellin girls in class that they are ugly, or some girls saying to the boys(that haven't been blessed with good looks) that they are ugly. They say it in the most hateful way too. I mean, I think its one of the most hurtful things one could say to another.
If I was told by a girl that she dont wanna marry me cuz Im ugly, I would just "ok" and walk away.
I cant stand this kind of crap. Boys tellin girls in class that they are ugly, or some girls saying to the boys(that haven't been blessed with good looks) that they are ugly. They say it in the most hateful way too. I mean, I think its one of the most hurtful things one could say to another.
If I was told by a girl that she dont wanna marry me cuz Im ugly, I would just "ok" and walk away.
:rubeyes:
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 02:02 AM
Yup. There is nothing else to say. She said im ugly. She dont wanna marry me. What else can a person do?
Yup. There is nothing else to say. She said im ugly. She dont wanna marry me. What else can a person do?
i wish no one wud say that to another...:rubeyes: its saddening that people can be so harsh n say those words to another muslim..what makes them think they are handsome fit or pretty or sexy? its the character that makes them handsome too.
Umm 'Umarah
17-12-06, 02:06 AM
Chillax bro Lambo... its a hypothetical question.....:)
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 02:07 AM
i wish no one wud say that to another...:rubeyes: its saddening that people can be so harsh n say those words to another muslim..what makes them think they are handsome fit or pretty or sexy? its the character that makes them handsome too.
yup. Some people have no idea how much a person's feelings they can hurt by saying something.
Chillax bro Lambo... its a hypothetical question.....:)
:hidban:
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 02:41 AM
:hidban:
aight im chilaxin relaxin:D :coolbro:
Supernova Nebula
17-12-06, 06:56 AM
Yup, there's nothing wrong and witholding the reason is better, it's human nature to like something pleasant and beautiful to one's eyes, what's more if youre going to spend the rest or your life with that person, there's notihng wrong with it. BUT if possible, dont show interest or liking from the very beginning if you think u can't accept him/her in your life or in other words, dont give the wrong signals to the person in question.
anyone that would reject someone because of their looks is shallow and not worth the time of day IMHO. To insult someone and say that they are ugly is an insult to Allah because he he created everyone and he don't make junk :D
Tahiyah
17-12-06, 08:35 AM
if you are not physically attracted to that person, then just kindly let that person know your not interested in marriage. NEVER insult.. that is a very shallow thing to do.
remember the story of Julaybib...
advice to bro's: become a smoothe talker..and not fake, but someone who listens, is patient, has a sense of humor/witty, understanding. most women will find a chap like that irresistible..:up:
if you are not physically attracted to that person, then just kindly let that person know your not interested in marriage. NEVER insult.. that is a very shallow thing to do.
remember the story of Julaybib...
advice to bro's: become a smoothe talker..and not fake, but someone who listens, is patient, has a sense of humor/witty, understanding. most women will find a chap like that irresistible..:up:
loooool!! loove the advice!! :up:
i agree totally.. never ever disrespect or hurt anybody unwillingly.. if a person dislikes another.. in terms of physical apppearance.. then just reject the offer of marriage..
and if that is the only reason a person rejects a Good partner.. well then,.. the latter can bludy well do without the former! :inlove:
Enigma Dreamer
17-12-06, 09:25 AM
Assalaamu aleykum.
Someone can dislike another person's looks, it is human and natural. And whoever dislikes someone because of their looks, should not as sister 'Asiya said, say that s/he turned down the proposal 'cause they ain't good looking. As for the affected person, just walk away with a good heart free of any grudge and be patient. Who knows? Allah (s.w.) may have in store for you a better person.
I've never been handsome.
(I don't think I was even particularly "cute" as an infant.)
But, as an older person, I can tell you with all honesty that, over the years, physical beauty really doesn't count for all that much.
(And I know this must sound completely insane to young people.)
Let me put it this way: physical beauty is the same as any other material asset such as wealth.
And please allow me to quote a non-Muslim source, the Bhagavad Gita -- and I understand Muslims are allowed to learn from non-Muslim sources insofar as they don't contradict Muslim teaching.
As Krishna said to Arjuna:
"All is clouded by desire. Like dust upon a mirror. Like smoke before a fire. Like a child hidden within its mother's womb. All is clouded by desire."
To say you don't want to marry someone because they aren't beautiful enough is the same as saying you don't want to marry someone because they aren't wealthy enough.
A person is of course free to choose wealth or beauty as reasons for marrying.
But a person is also free to understand that wealth and beauty are highly fragile things that can come and go in an instant.
A person is always free to understand that there are qualities that are more certain.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:00 AM
Its better to say ur ugly before gettin' married, but take a look at this situation:
This summer, a guy I know got married. He married his mum' sister's daughter (arranged by the sisters), despite the boys reservations that she was no good.
So, they got married, his mother proudly bragged and invited 100's of ppl each night for like 7 days before the weddin', made a big thin' so everyone can come and see what a spectacular occassion it is that one of 6 sons is gettin' married etc etc.
The weddin' passed, the chap and his missus went on honey moon to egypt paid for by a freiend.
It was meant to be for a week... but the guys came back earlier.
Apparently the bride said on the walimah to her hubby 'you're my cousin, you're my cousin-brother'.
Why did they come back early? 'Cos the wife said 'i can't believe I married an ugly bast*rd like you' and she threatened to slit her wrist.
This is much worse, 'cos the couple separated after 3 days of their walimah - to be told ur ugly after all the expenditure, after all this show, his mother was made to eat humble pie n 2 lives ruined.
If s/o tells you ur ugly, then you're better off without them... but hope they tell u ur ugly before the marriage n not within it.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:03 AM
If I was in his situation, I'd take her passport, leave behind a sharp razor blade, fly home n teach her a lesson.
barodate
17-12-06, 10:06 AM
If I was in his situation, I'd take her passport, leave behind a sharp razor blade, fly home n teach her a lesson.
heh nice
Its better to say ur ugly before gettin' married, but take a look at this situation:
This summer, a guy I know got married. He married his mum' sister's daughter (arranged by the sisters), despite the boys reservations that she was no good.
So, they got married, his mother proudly bragged and invited 100's of ppl each night for like 7 days before the weddin', made a big thin' so everyone can come and see what a spectacular occassion it is that one of 6 sons is gettin' married etc etc.
The weddin' passed, the chap and his missus went on honey moon to egypt paid for by a freiend.
It was meant to be for a week... but the guys came back earlier.
Apparently the bride said on the walimah to her hubby 'you're my cousin, you're my cousin-brother'.
Why did they come back early? 'Cos the wife said 'i can't believe I married an ugly bast*rd like you' and she threatened to slit her wrist.
This is much worse, 'cos the couple separated after 3 days of their walimah - to be told ur ugly after all the expenditure, after all this show, his mother was made to eat humble pie n 2 lives ruined.
If s/o tells you ur ugly, then you're better off without them... but hope they tell u ur ugly before the marriage n not within it.
:eek: .. Damn thats harsh man. Someone with any decency wouldn't every say that.
If I was in his situation, I'd take her passport, leave behind a sharp razor blade, fly home n teach her a lesson.
LOL ...
Why did they come back early? 'Cos the wife said 'i can't believe I married an ugly bast*rd like you' and she threatened to slit her wrist.
what an evil and hurtful thing to say to someone :(
as for slitting her wrists ,seems she has some psychological issues...
barodate
17-12-06, 10:11 AM
what an evil and hurtful thing to say to someone :(
as for slitting her wrists ,seems she has some psychological issues...
nah seems like she is a retard
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:12 AM
heh nice
What would you do in that situation?
nah seems like she is a retard
i think the mum/parentsare partkly to blame as well, seems liek she didnt want the marriage but was probably forced by her parents from what i can see and she has gone and taken it out on him
barodate
17-12-06, 10:13 AM
What would you do in that situation?
probably same as you. leave the selfish git.
jus cos u dont feel attracted to someone does not mean they are 'ugly' jus means there not your taste, i hate that word ugly
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:15 AM
Personally I don't think it was the kids' fault. I put the blame squarely on the mothers' (the 2 sisters) shoulder. All that weddin' show they put on backfired... now what is there to show. His poor father had a stroke when he heard the news but is now alhumdulillah he is OK.
Moral of the story: don't marry from your mothers' side if you can help it.
what an evil and hurtful thing to say to someone :(
as for slitting her wrists ,seems she has some psychological issues...
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
I went through something like that in the past when i was a non-muslim, i liked her, but i didn't know that she liked me, but she was flirting with me, I wrote her a letter saying my feelings, and the next day (this was during sixth form) i walked into the room and (she already told everyone about my feelings to her) and everyone laughed, a few other things happened but it hurt me, it wasn't just a little group in was about say 20-30 people in that room. A friend heard what she was saying about me, and yea it was mainly my looks she had a go at it.
(this goes for everyone) but for was hard to take in at first, but dont forget you are beautiful, everyone is beautiful, everyone is unique, no one is alike, people who insult your looks they are not worth your time, stop listening to theses people who call you names, the more they say the more we could believe, but you should know deep in your heart you are beautiful.
Personally I don't think it was the kids' fault. I put the blame squarely on the mothers' (the 2 sisters) shoulder. All that weddin' show they put on backfired... now what is there to show. His poor father had a stroke when he heard the news but is now alhumdulillah he is OK.
Moral of the story: don't marry from your mothers' side if you can help it.
i dont agree with that moral,
Moral:Communicate with ur kids, do what u do for the sake of Allah swt and your laughing inshallah.
I dont think its the parents fault what the daughter SAID but yes they are to blame for putting her in that situation .
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:18 AM
Yes, I think the girls' father was in it too, apparaently he was against the idea of marryin' his daughter to his wifes' sisters son... so they conspired to get all the jewellery / mahr as much as they could and then she cud return home with her dads blessin's. :smack:
i think the mum/parentsare partkly to blame as well, seems liek she didnt want the marriage but was probably forced by her parents from what i can see and she has gone and taken it out on him
Yes, I think the girls' father was in it too, apparaently he was against the idea of marryin' his daughter to his wifes' sisters son... so they conspired to get all the jewellery / mahr as much as they could and then she cud return home with her dads blessin's. :smack:
that is sick
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:20 AM
Although you're not my type, ur still beautiful. :D
everyone is beautiful, everyone is unique, no one is alike, people who insult your looks they are not worth your time, stop listening to theses people who call you names, the more they say the more we could believe, but you should know deep in your heart you are beautiful.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:22 AM
that is sick
Later she said, the reason why she returned home was there was no sleepin' space (5 brothers lived there - 1 had wife n kids), even though an apartment was made in the back of the garden for them.
She wasn't practisin' or anythin'...
Later she said, the reason why she returned home was there was no sleepin' space (5 brothers lived there - 1 had wife n kids), even though an apartment was made in the back of the garden for them.
She wasn't practisin' or anythin'...
may allah swt make things work out for them and grant that brother sabr ameen.
Allahu alim
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:24 AM
MG: you know what the worst thin' is? The elderly generation hate to admit their wrong. They'll go on as if nothin' wrong had happened. The subject is now a taboo for them, they don't wanna hear another word 'bout it.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 10:27 AM
Ameen. Poor guy. It wasn't even his fault, he maintained to his mum she's no good. His mum reply was nahi puthar, theek hoi jai si once married :smack:
may allah swt make things work out for them and grant that brother sabr ameen.
Allahu alim
umme ahmed
17-12-06, 10:35 AM
sorry if this has been said before (i havn't read all the replies) but the main point here i think is that a person should not be led on, if you are not attracted to someone and have certain reservations then let this be clear from the beginning. don't necessarily express exactly why. i don't think..."dude i think you're ugly!" will go down too well, but it is important to tell the person that you do have some doubts so that the other person doesn't get their hopes up...
we should want for our brother what we want for ourselves....we should be all mindful of how we deal with oneanother and espeacially eachothers feelings. the heart of another muslim is precious, breaking another muslims heart and giving them unecessary pain and rejection when it can be avoided is not somethng we should do. afcourse in this situation i understand that it may have been done unintentionally....but nevertheless if we put others before ourselves as we should we can avoid this from happening inshAllah Ta'ala.
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 10:39 AM
I cant stand this kind of crap. Boys tellin girls in class that they are ugly, or some girls saying to the boys(that haven't been blessed with good looks) that they are ugly. They say it in the most hateful way too. I mean, I think its one of the most hurtful things one could say to another.
I agree. If someone has a good character then surely their looks wont matter. It's a bit shallow to marry for someone's looks!
MG: you know what the worst thin' is? The elderly generation hate to admit their wrong. They'll go on as if nothin' wrong had happened. The subject is now a taboo for them, they don't wanna hear another word 'bout it.
thats culture and pride for u:rolleyes:
everything seems to have been done out of PRIDE and we all know how much allah swt hates pride may allah swt guide them ameen
so many cases like this
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 10:43 AM
what an evil and hurtful thing to say to someone :(
as for slitting her wrists ,seems she has some psychological issues...
Sounds like a spoilt fusspot who thinks she's all it.
Ameen. Poor guy. It wasn't even his fault, he maintained to his mum she's no good. His mum reply was nahi puthar, theek hoi jai si once married :smack:
that famous old saying "sab theek ho jayega" :rolleyes::rolleyes:
so it was basically forced marraiage but i still think it is well out of order what she sed to him allahu alim
Sounds like a spoilt fusspot who thinks she's all it.
alot of young people who when they dont get their way resort to self harm and self mutilation...attention seeking? or psychological issues?
i new someone who slit their wrists when they didnt get their way i asked them why they do it ,that they can hurt themselves or kill themsleves if they cut their wrists, they said "it makes people listen to me, and i knwo whta im doing when i cut myself so i wouldnt die, i dont cut deep" :rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes:
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 10:55 AM
alot of young people who when they dont get their way resort to self harm and self mutilation...attention seeking? or psychological issues?
i new someone who slit their wrists when they didnt get their way i asked them why they do it ,that they can hurt themselves or kill themsleves if they cut their wrists, they said "it makes people listen to me, and i knwo whta im doing when i cut myself so i wouldnt die, i dont cut deep" :rubeyes::rubeyes::rubeyes:
She sounds like an attention seeker!
Some people harm themselves to 'release the pain' like if they are really upset or depressed about something they feel like they are taking control/lessesning the mental pain by harming themselves.
anyone that would reject someone because of their looks is shallow and not worth the time of day IMHO. To insult someone and say that they are ugly is an insult to Allah because he he created everyone and he don't make junk :D
compeltely agree with uncle jee. its very superficail, if you have a stud muffin of a husband, those looks will fade and mean nothing if turns out to be a complete @ss. its so disrepectful and a very westernised conception. :(
if you are not physically attracted to that person, then just kindly let that person know your not interested in marriage. NEVER insult.. that is a very shallow thing to do.
remember the story of Julaybib...
:love: yes sis :love:
one of my favourite sahabah :love: not beautiful on his exterior but the beloved of our prophet :saw:
seriously, on a personal level deen, deen, deen, and a sense of humour inshallah :D
the rest wont count for very long.
time folk grew up, this is the sort fo stuff lads and lassess exchange in the school playground. its hurtful and completely unnecessary.
Ameen. Poor guy. It wasn't even his fault, he maintained to his mum she's no good. His mum reply was nahi puthar, theek hoi jai si once married :smack:
Thats the problem. Some parents believe getting thier daughter/son married off will "calm them down" since they will now have responsibilities to uphold.
Most couldn't care less they now have a wife/husband. For very few it acts as a wake up call.
Its also about shifting the blame onto something else. Very rarely will some parents admit their parenting went amiss with the off the wall child in question if their marriage falls apart - it was the "fault" of the boy/girl.
Its all :wacko:
GothiKa
17-12-06, 12:00 PM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
that would make my esteem even weaker than it already is. a girl who says such a thing to a man who adores her, loves her unconditionally, deserves no less respect than a murderer.
on a utilitarian note, her condemnation of the man's appearance might be moral if she derives pleasure out of her suitor's bereavement. afterall, we should ask(assuming the girl is remarkably gorgeous) 'Why would an ugly person go after a good looking girl, knowing that he will never turn into a swan?"
However, it also contradicts "The Golden Rule", making her judgement seem immoral. Would she be willing to concur-if put in the same position as her former suitor-that she is ugly? If not, she should calculate the consequences before making such gratitous remarks.
Al-Saeed Abdi
17-12-06, 12:03 PM
that would make my esteem even weaker than it already is. a girl who says such a thing to a man who adores her, loves her unconditionally, deserves no less respect than a murderer.
on a utilitarian note, her condemnation of the man's appearance might be moral if she derives pleasure out of her suitor's bereavement. afterall, we should ask(assuming the girl is remarkably gorgeous) 'Why would an ugly person go after a good looking girl, knowing that he will never turn into a swan?"
However, it also contradicts "The Golden Rule", making her judgement seem immoral. Would she be willing to concur-if put in the same position as her former suitor-that she is ugly? If not, she should calculate the consequences before making such gratitous remarks.
Very valid points you've made there Akhi.
Ma'aSalaama
What is one persons loss, is anothers gain. What you may find "attractive" another may think leaves a lot to be desired and vice versa.
So just because one person thinks the individual in question is "ugly" it doesn't necessarily mean he/she is universally ugly to all :rolleyes:
Another note - if you reject someone for no attraction quality then its best not to relate this info to others, in your family, friends etc either. Its like throwing a match/light into a barn full of hay :nono:
I have a question for ya all. :D .. no its not about having another wife :p .. :outta:
If that happened like what jailer posted ... but that girl wanted to marry you because you look better In her OPINION ... and you knew what she said to her previous husband about his looks .. would you marry her.
If its not explained properly let me know ill explain it further :D.
I know i wouldn't :(.
I don't get it :scratch:
Elaborate, sil vous plait Monsieur
I don't get it :scratch:
Elaborate, sil vous plait Monsieur
I knew there would be 1 :p.
Ok look, Jailer said they 2 cousins got married and the girl called the boy a ugly wateva ... Just say they got divorced. And she wanted to marry again and marry you because in her OPINION you better looking than the last person.
However you know what happen and why there was a divorce .. she called the guy a ugly wateva and they couldn't live together.
Would you marry her after knowing what shes said to her first hubby or in your case called his first wife ugly.
Hope you understand now. :p
Ah...I thought thats what you were getting at...but good you cleared it up :up:
Well you just have to assume - unless you ask - that he/she does believe you are "better looking" so there is some kind of attraction there.
This is kind of related to the thread that Sunrise created about marrying a divorcee. My comment there is relevant to the scenario you've posted
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1500273&postcount=34
Bearing in mind, these all are hypothetical. Reality can, and often is, be different.
I have a question for ya all. :D .. no its not about having another wife :p .. :outta:
If that happened like what jailer posted ... but that girl wanted to marry you because you look better In her OPINION ... and you knew what she said to her previous husband about his looks .. would you marry her.
If its not explained properly let me know ill explain it further :D.
I know i wouldn't :(.
i would certainly object to you marrying her fais :mad:
no one gonna marry my bro jes cos hes a pretty boy :rolleyes:
i would certainly object to you marrying her fais :mad:
no one gonna marry my bro jes cos hes a pretty boy :rolleyes:
Yeh yeh enuff abt bragging about ur brothers good looks :rolleyes:
Ah...I thought thats what you were getting at...but good you cleared it up :up:
Well you just have to assume - unless you ask - that he/she does believe you are "better looking" so there is some kind of attraction there.
This is kind of related to the thread that Sunrise created about marrying a divorcee. My comment there is relevant to the scenario you've posted
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1500273&postcount=34
Bearing in mind, these all are hypothetical. Reality can, and often is, be different.
I can see what you say giving the benefit of the doubt ... but what if that person who she called ugly ********** was you freind and it was true. Theres no doubt that she called him ugly and insulted him ... would you still marry that person.
i would certainly object to you marrying her fais :mad:
no one gonna marry my bro jes cos hes a pretty boy :rolleyes:
:embar: well .... you know me .. i cant help it :p
Yeh yeh enuff abt bragging about ur brothers good looks :rolleyes:
Not my fault :D
Yeh yeh enuff abt bragging about ur brothers good looks :rolleyes:
actually ones as hugly as sin :D jes kiddin,
all muslim brothers are beautiful to me mashallah. :inlove:
:embar: well .... you know me .. i cant help it :p
Not my fault :D
:eek3:
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 01:44 PM
I have a question for ya all. :D .. no its not about having another wife :p .. :outta:
If that happened like what jailer posted ... but that girl wanted to marry you because you look better In her OPINION ... and you knew what she said to her previous husband about his looks .. would you marry her.
If its not explained properly let me know ill explain it further :D.
I know i wouldn't :(.
Why?
Afraid that the same thing might happen to you?
:0: Exactly Eemaan.
Dont get carried away bro fais :rolleyes:
Why?
Afraid that the same thing might happen to you?
lol No, because what she done to the other poor bloke was evil. It would teach her a lesson by you saying no to her. Thats a reason why i would say no.
:0: Exactly Eemaan.
Dont get carried away bro fais :rolleyes:
.. I aint .. :p .. am i? :0: ... Baaji you surpose to go along with it .. not back stab me :mad: ...
rejecting someone on the basis of unattractive looks can have a crushing effect on that person.
its jes evil, evil i say evil.
:banghead:
lol No, because what she done to the other poor bloke was evil. It would teach her a lesson by you saying no to her. Thats a reason why i would say no.
Thats petty, no?
If you'd really want to "teach her a lesson" you'd ask her why she thought he was ugly and who died making her judge :rolleyes:
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 01:51 PM
lol No, because what she done to the other poor bloke was evil. It would teach her a lesson by you saying no to her. Thats a reason why i would say no.
.. I aint .. :p .. am i? :0: ... Baaji you surpose to go along with it .. not back stab me :mad: ...
Hmm you reap what you sow i guess.
Thats petty, no?
If you'd really want to "teach her a lesson" you'd ask her why she thought he was ugly and who died making her judge :rolleyes:
It would make her think would it not? .. oh i called that guy ugly and i wonder what he thinks of me :0: ...Leave her in the dark. :torture:
Hmm you reap what you sow i guess.
What does that mean :eek3:
If you'd really want to "teach her a lesson" you'd ask her why she thought he was ugly and who died making her judge :rolleyes:
yeah exactly man, made the lass beauty queen of the year? youd need a pretty high impression of yourself to conceive of a reason like that.
jes horrible *shudder*
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 01:58 PM
If you start somethin' with good intent and action, the outcome will be good.
If its bad, the outcome will be bad. Whatever you do, the outcome will reflect likewise.
What does that mean :eek3:
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 01:58 PM
What does that mean :eek3:
Never mind see above in mr jailer's post.
If you say no to her for a petty reason then someone might say no to you again for another petty reason thereby going in a complete circle until none of you can get married *Roll Eyes*
yah it might come right back round and hit you on the pretty lil head and knock yo block off :D
souljaa
17-12-06, 01:59 PM
in other words, what comes around goes around, no?
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 02:01 PM
I wouldn't hold her past against her if she mended her way when it came to me. In which case if she decides not to call me ugly, and is compatible with me, I'd marry her.
But if I knew the guy she called ugly, then I probably would not.
lol No, because what she done to the other poor bloke was evil. It would teach her a lesson by you saying no to her. Thats a reason why i would say no.
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 02:02 PM
in other words, what comes around goes around, no?
You mean what goes around comes around *Roll Eyes*
Never mind it posted before i finished it *Roll Eyes*
If you say no to her for a petty reason then someone might say no to you again for another petty reason thereby going in a complete circle until none of you can get married *Roll Eyes*
IMO .. its not a petty reason. Calling so on so a ugly wateva .. is evil.
souljaa
17-12-06, 02:03 PM
You mean what goes around comes around *Roll Eyes*
lol thats what i said first time then i realised thats wrong so i edited it buuuuuttt its the same isnt it:scratch:
I wouldn't hold her past against her if she mended her way when it came to me. In which case if she decides not to call me ugly, and is compatible with me, I'd marry her.
But if I knew the guy she called ugly, then I probably would not.
Oh soz yea if she sorted herself out started practising and what not ... then i would, coz i would be guessing she would have for asked forgivness and what not.
But if i knew the bro then i wouldnt regardless
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 02:08 PM
Depends on the individual... if they in love with the girl who called him evil, it'll be hard for him (but serves him right for fallin' in love outside marriage).
If the bro was doin' the rounds, n one declined him 'cos he ugly, then move on to the next door, n don't let it get u down. Thats what shay wants.
A strong mental character in deen gets u through.
IMO .. its not a petty reason. Calling so on so a ugly wateva .. is evil.
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 02:11 PM
lol thats what i said first time then i realised thats wrong so i edited it buuuuuttt its the same isnt it:scratch:
No *Roll Eyes*
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 02:12 PM
IMO .. its not a petty reason. Calling so on so a ugly wateva .. is evil.
Oh you mean that, hmm well i have no idea, you see marriage isn't my area of expertise *Roll Eyes*
Depends on the individual... if they in love with the girl who called him evil, it'll be hard for him (but serves him right for fallin' in love outside marriage).
If the bro was doin' the rounds, n one declined him 'cos he ugly, then move on to the next door, n don't let it get u down. Thats what shay wants.
A strong mental character in deen gets u through.
No, im talking about a couple getting married, proper way with help off there parents and what not.
And then she calls the guy ugly. Thats harsh .. if she had such a problem why didnt she say it beforehand.
Oh you mean that, hmm well i have no idea, you see marriage isn't my area of expertise *Roll Eyes*
Mean what?
And i can see that marriage isnt your area :p, joke .. neither is it my area of expertise ... but always good asking question and say why you would and wouldnt do such a thing :D.
Umm 'Umarah
17-12-06, 02:25 PM
:salams
Jazak'Allahu Khayr brothers and sisters for all your compassionate and wise replies....indeed, it would be very very wrong of the sister to do this.
Astagfirullah......Allah created each and every one of us..and we are in no place to call another one of Allah's creation ugly.
and of course... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
May Allah save us all from such complex situations..and bless each and every one of us with a spouse who is strongly practicing and on the path of righteousness and with the bonus of being exceptionally good looking....:D..Ameen.
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 02:28 PM
Mean what?
And i can see that marriage isnt your area :p, joke .. neither is it my area of expertise ... but always good asking question and say why you would and wouldnt do such a thing :D.
Thanks for highlighting that *Roll Eyes*
I meant that so on so a ugly wateva
:salams
Jazak'Allahu Khayr brothers and sisters for all your compassionate and wise replies....indeed, it would be very very wrong of the sister to do this.
Astagfirullah......Allah created each and every one of us..and we are in no place to call another one of Allah's creation ugly.
and of course... beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
May Allah save us all from such complex situations..and bless each and every one of us with a spouse who is strongly practicing and on the path of righteousness and with the bonus of being exceptionally good looking....:D..Ameen.
:wswrwb:
Ameen to your Dua :D
Thanks for highlighting that *Roll Eyes*
I meant that
No problem :up:
Oh right :D.
What you think of it now ... would you? And if you knew the bro too :(
Its ok i dont need an answer :up:
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 02:32 PM
Suppose the guy would have to make an effort. If he don't groom himself n don't make himself look attractive to wife - 'cos the wife shud try to please her hubby too, and it shud also be the other way round...
Maybe they could work together, providin' she don't ask him for plastic surgery or face lift... no harm in puttin' in effort to please wife n vice versa.
No, im talking about a couple getting married, proper way with help off there parents and what not.
And then she calls the guy ugly. Thats harsh .. if she had such a problem why didnt she say it beforehand.
both parties need to make an effort with grooming and looking good. she cant go around like jane of the jungle and him like king kong hoping the flames of appreciation wont fizzle out
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 02:39 PM
No problem :up:
Oh right :D.
What you think of it now ... would you? And if you knew the bro too :(
Its ok i dont need an answer :up:
Hmm will "no comment" do?
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 02:42 PM
Hmmm, I take it u ain't seen King Kong? :scratch:
both parties need to make an effort with grooming and looking good. she cant go around like jane of the jungle and him like king kong hoping the flames of appreciation wont fizzle out
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 02:44 PM
I suppose if you have to marry her, as in u're compatible, then u gotta do it... she might not be down with u bringin' her ex home to visit - but there's no point in chancin' it if ur strugglin' hard to find the right one.
I read a post where a bro went to ask a girls family that his friend was interested. The girl was more intersted in the messenger so they ended up marryin'... just gotta liv wid it.
Hmm will "no comment" do?
Suppose the guy would have to make an effort. If he don't groom himself n don't make himself look attractive to wife - 'cos the wife shud try to please her hubby too, and it shud also be the other way round...
Maybe they could work together, providin' she don't ask him for plastic surgery or face lift... no harm in puttin' in effort to please wife n vice versa.
LOL, ok ... but calling some1 a ugly B****** wont exactly help them get into shape. Of course they both have to make an effort.
both parties need to make an effort with grooming and looking good. she cant go around like jane of the jungle and him like king kong hoping the flames of appreciation wont fizzle out
Aint got a clue what you talking about.
Hmm will "no comment" do?
Yes :D.
I read a post where a bro went to ask a girls family that his friend was interested. The girl was more intersted in the messenger so they ended up marryin'... just gotta liv wid it.
lol, how must the other guy feel :scratch:
ur_yusra
17-12-06, 03:05 PM
What I don't understand is to reject a brother because of his looks when he has very good deen etc is like saying he doesn't deserve to be married because of the way Allah (Swt) created him.
Surely someones personality can make them look beautiful?
Allah (swt) knows best.. Just reminds me of the story of Julaybib (RA).
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:08 PM
LOL, ok ... but calling some1 a ugly B****** wont exactly help them get into shape. Of course they both have to make an effort.
Might motivate them to go gym, lose some pounds, sort their hair put, wear creams on their face.
Best thin' to do would be turn the insult around n make it to ur advantage. At least she wud notice n appreciate the effort ur makin'... it might make her feel sad she called u ugly busstardo in the first place, but say she never mentioned at all... ud get uglier n fatter with no romance in the marriage.
Fais, this is ur worst nightmare... to be called ugly busstaardo by ur wife on ur honeymoon :eek:
muslim_sis
17-12-06, 03:12 PM
didnt read the whole thread ... but who wouldnt feel a bit saddened by that.. you tell someone you are interested or like them or whatever and then you reject them after they may have felt happy that this is going to be the woman he'l be living with for the rest of his life.
Not nice to mess with peoples emotions like that, although may not be intentional and cant be changed now, the approach one would take to tell a bro that would have to be in the nicest possible way by another person i.e. her wali tell him. and inshallah if someone be in that situation now then inshallah for future inshallah they would have learnt from mistake to perhaps not make decisions as quickly without looking into whats important to u etc.
Allahu Alam
& i know this question was meant for the bros , but just had to add that bit in.
Emelianenko
17-12-06, 03:13 PM
What I don't understand is to reject a brother because of his looks when he has very good deen etc is like saying he doesn't deserve to be married because of the way Allah (Swt) created him.
Surely someones personality can make them look beautiful?
Allah (swt) knows best.. Just reminds me of the story of Julaybib (RA).
Thats all fair and well sis but both parties should not completely ignore looks when considering sum1 for marriage. Some people mashaAllah are good and strong and can overlook that immediately whereas for others they cant. And if looks is important to someone then aswell as looking at a persons deen they should consider looks also, otherwise they will spend a life where they will always "scan" other women/men when outside.
The Hadith which Nabi saw mentions the four reasons for which a woman is married for...and deen is best trait..One Alim i spoke to said this does not mean we ignore then other characteristics, instead we shud learn from the ahadith the other 3 should be considered also.
Ie for example wealth, if a guy has had a tough upbringing all his life..ie nuting on plate, marries a wealthy lass etc...but end of day if shes been given everyting on a plate itll be hard for him to fulfill those expectations of hers etc..so deen is priority but ya cannae ignore other factors also.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:20 PM
How peculiar :scratch:.
You develop an interest in the guy in the first place, then turn around n say u ugly? What attribute caused the gal to like him in the first place? His money? His job / status? If these were important to the lass, then she'd stick with him regardless.
Either that or she paid no heed to his looks at the time... but rather on say his wallt, but ud expect her to go thru with it... 'cos she'll miss out on his wallet too...
Has that happened before? Unless the girl found s/o else who had the money but was better lookin' - so she went for the btter lookin' guy tellin' the ugly dude he's ugly.
didnt read the whole thread ... but who wouldnt feel a bit saddened by that.. you tell someone you are interested or like them or whatever and then you reject them after they may have felt happy that this is going to be the woman he'l be living with for the rest of his life.
ur_yusra
17-12-06, 03:34 PM
Thats all fair and well sis but both parties should not completely ignore looks when considering sum1 for marriage. Some people mashaAllah are good and strong and can overlook that immediately whereas for others they cant. And if looks is important to someone then aswell as looking at a persons deen they should consider looks also, otherwise they will spend a life where they will always "scan" other women/men when outside.
The Hadith which Nabi saw mentions the four reasons for which a woman is married for...and deen is best trait..One Alim i spoke to said this does not mean we ignore then other characteristics, instead we shud learn from the ahadith the other 3 should be considered also.
Ie for example wealth, if a guy has had a tough upbringing all his life..ie nuting on plate, marries a wealthy lass etc...but end of day if shes been given everyting on a plate itll be hard for him to fulfill those expectations of hers etc..so deen is priority but ya cannae ignore other factors also.
Yeh I know what you mean but the way I see it is no matter who you marry there are always going to be people that are better looking then that person. Lowering your gaze is a concept that is not conditionally applied based on how beautiful your spouse is.. there is NO excuse for not lowering ones gaze.
Might motivate them to go gym, lose some pounds, sort their hair put, wear creams on their face.
Best thin' to do would be turn the insult around n make it to ur advantage. At least she wud notice n appreciate the effort ur makin'... it might make her feel sad she called u ugly busstardo in the first place, but say she never mentioned at all... ud get uglier n fatter with no romance in the marriage.
lol, i see your point ... still no need to call som1 an ugly busstardo. And there are nicer ways to say it. But in the scenario im talking about .. its just straight up cold blooded murder type of thing .. just straight up .. you are a ugly ... ,
Fais, this is ur worst nightmare... to be called ugly busstaardo by ur wife on ur honeymoon :eek:
lol, thats the least of my worries. Ill show her my knockout punch before she even says anything ... so shes think before she speaks for sure :rotfl: ... joke :D
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:42 PM
lol, i see your point ... still no need to call som1 an ugly busstardo. And there are nicer ways to say it. But in the scenario im talking about .. its just straight up cold blooded murder type of thing .. just straight up .. you are a ugly ... ,
lol, thats the least of my worries. Ill show her my knockout punch before she even says anything ... so shes think before she speaks for sure :rotfl: ... joke :D
Yes, there are nicer ways of sayin' it. Best thin' would be to marry a sister from Ummah forum. There are decent sisters who won't contemplate sayin' such a thin' let alone say it. Can't go wrong... they'll make u seem like Yusuf as :inlove: and u won't need to be polishin' that fist ready for action.
What I don't understand is to reject a brother because of his looks when he has very good deen etc is like saying he doesn't deserve to be married because of the way Allah (Swt) created him.
Surely someones personality can make them look beautiful?
Allah (swt) knows best.. Just reminds me of the story of Julaybib (RA).
SubhanAllah so true... What I have come to realise in this indo-pak culture thing, is this notion of showing the girl and boy to each other without them knowing anything about each other. It literally is, a guy comes to the girl's house, the two of them know nothing about each other except basic demographics, and then they have to take things from there. So both parties usually end up making a decision purely on what they saw.
However, you can have people giving references for that person or just generally sitting down and giving you full details about their character, their deen, their mannerisms. So when you know more about a person, you can become attracted to an individual's personality. And so when you do meet them, you have this idea of what they are like, and so they appear more attractive than they would have.
And the story of Julaybib, I always think of the beautiful phrase of the Prophet (SAW) when he found the body of Julaybib (RA) martyred, and he said 'He is of me and I am of him..' SubhanaAllah, to think how much he was loved by the Prophet..
Yes, there are nicer ways of sayin' it. Best thin' would be to marry a sister from Ummah forum. There are decent sisters who won't contemplate sayin' such a thin' let alone say it. Can't go wrong... they'll make u seem like Yusuf as :inlove: and u won't need to be polishin' that fist ready for action.
:rotfl: ... You try it first let me know how it goes and ill think about it :up: .. :D
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:49 PM
Happened to me :D
Except I went to girls house first in my interview suit (I had job interview earlier), n then 2 weeks later she n her fam came to my house. There was soooo much pwomise... her fam liked me, n her mum kept naggin' to her 'bout me... I knew nowt 'bout her except what ppl told me, some of which was fibs, so I found out for myself :up:
That was in february... :D
So, now here I am, happily single :inlove:
SubhanAllah so true... What I have come to realise in this indo-pak culture thing, is this notion of showing the girl and boy to each other without them knowing anything about each other. It literally is, a guy comes to the girl's house, the two of them know nothing about each other except basic demographics, and then they have to take things from there. So both parties usually end up making a decision purely on what they saw.
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 03:50 PM
:vomit:
Thats all fair and well sis but both parties should not completely ignore looks when considering sum1 for marriage. Some people mashaAllah are good and strong and can overlook that immediately whereas for others they cant. And if looks is important to someone then aswell as looking at a persons deen they should consider looks also, otherwise they will spend a life where they will always "scan" other women/men when outside.
The Hadith which Nabi saw mentions the four reasons for which a woman is married for...and deen is best trait..One Alim i spoke to said this does not mean we ignore then other characteristics, instead we shud learn from the ahadith the other 3 should be considered also.
Ie for example wealth, if a guy has had a tough upbringing all his life..ie nuting on plate, marries a wealthy lass etc...but end of day if shes been given everyting on a plate itll be hard for him to fulfill those expectations of hers etc..so deen is priority but ya cannae ignore other factors also.
Hmmm I agree with you here. I was reading this up on Islam-Qa and the number of questions asked by brothers who say that they find their wives unattractive and so they are finding it hard to lower their gaze, and in some cases, guard their chastity!
In this case the shuyookh expalined the importance of being attracted to that person and being pleased/satisfied with their outward appearance in order that it places love in your hearts for them. But I think where people are going wrong these days, is that they are looking for the ideal. People expect their wives to be caricatures of perfection, the right height, weight, skin colour! Its almost like they are placing an order when they place their preferences for looks! And the same goes for sisters, I have seen sisters say the same and be picky about looks.
I guess its all down to exposure to western values and faahishah where ever you go. I mean, a brother can only want his wife to look like Cindy Crawford (or a sister want her husband to look like Brad Pitt) if they know what they look like in the first place!! The more you lower your gaze, before, during, after marriage, the more pleased and satisfied you will be with your spouse and the less expectations you will have.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:52 PM
Bro, I'm not worried 'bout bein' called ugly.
As for you, better to be safe than sorry :) Can't let them break ur wee lil heart :(
:rotfl: ... You try it first let me know how it goes and ill think about it :up: .. :D
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:54 PM
Not feelin' good I take it?
Hope everythin' is alright :rolleyes:
I think I'm gonna throw up too ...
:vomit:
Bro, I'm not worried 'bout bein' called ugly.
As for you, better to be safe than sorry :) Can't let them break ur wee lil heart :(
:rotfl: ... As for me? .. when did i say i mind being called ugly :mad: .. put words into my mouth.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 03:57 PM
When did I say u mind bein' called ugly?
I implied I, MJ is not worried 'bout bein' called ugly...
Bro, in pakistan some of the most beautiful girls wud queue to marry me... I can sort s/t out for u (as long as u have relevant paperwork). They won't care less what u look like.
:rotfl: ... As for me? .. when did i say i mind being called ugly :mad: .. put words into my mouth.
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 03:58 PM
:rolleyes:
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 03:59 PM
..............
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:00 PM
feelin' better now?
Jeez, u show more emotion in 5 mins, than all the emoticons put together
:rolleyes:
When did I say u mind bein' called ugly?
I implied I, MJ is not worried 'bout bein' called ugly...
Bro, in pakistan some of the most beautiful girls wud queue to marry me... I can sort s/t out for u (as long as u have relevant paperwork). They won't care less what u look like.
... Bro you dont even wanna know my situation ... :crying: ... there was a time where men used to go ask the hand of women ... lol its the other way round for me ... :(.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:01 PM
So does that mean i can call you ugly? *Roll Eyes*
I get called dog, don't mean I am tho.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:02 PM
Somethin' not right there... n ur still single :rubeyes:.
Somethin' definately up... are you ready to take on the responsibilty of maintainin' a wife?
... Bro you dont even wanna know my situation ... :crying: ... there was a time where men used to go ask the hand of women ... lol its the other way round for me ... :(.
... Bro you dont even wanna know my situation ... :crying: ... there was a time where men used to go ask the hand of women ... lol its the other way round for me ... :(.
:rolleyes:
:smack:
jus shurrup now fais
Na'eemah
17-12-06, 04:05 PM
feelin' better now?
Jeez, u show more emotion in 5 mins, than all the emoticons put together
I know :S
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:15 PM
Fais took you literally :(
I'm ur cart :(
:rolleyes:
:smack:
jus shurrup now fais
ur_yusra
17-12-06, 04:19 PM
Hmmm I agree with you here. I was reading this up on Islam-Qa and the number of questions asked by brothers who say that they find their wives unattractive and so they are finding it hard to lower their gaze, and in some cases, guard their chastity!
In this case the shuyookh expalined the importance of being attracted to that person and being pleased/satisfied with their outward appearance in order that it places love in your hearts for them. But I think where people are going wrong these days, is that they are looking for the ideal. People expect their wives to be caricatures of perfection, the right height, weight, skin colour! Its almost like they are placing an order when they place their preferences for looks! And the same goes for sisters, I have seen sisters say the same and be picky about looks.
I guess its all down to exposure to western values and faahishah where ever you go. I mean, a brother can only want his wife to look like Cindy Crawford (or a sister want her husband to look like Brad Pitt) if they know what they look like in the first place!! The more you lower your gaze, before, during, after marriage, the more pleased and satisfied you will be with your spouse and the less expectations you will have.
Yeh not to mention throwing the television out..
Reminds me of this thread :p
http://ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89797
Brad armpits and cindy crawlford? :vomit:
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 04:26 PM
Fais took you literally :(
I'm ur cart :(
It was not her that made him leave, it was me.....
It was not her that made him leave, it was me.....
im completely lost, is this a bros 'in' conversation going on? :confused:
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 04:30 PM
i'd push it til she said yes
http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106855 hey brothers can get u get over to this link and help out saint poetry please ( sorry to go :icon_offtopic: )
Yeh not to mention throwing the television out..
Reminds me of this thread :p
http://ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=89797
And blindfolding them on the street!! The billboards are absolutely disgusting, they are getting worse and worse.
I mention cindy crawford because I know of this practising brother who gave his wife an ultimatum that within 2 mths of having her baby, he wanted her to look like Cindy Crawford..
So i assume he meant plastic surgery and skin bleachin.. :wacko:
And blindfolding them on the street!! The billboards are absolutely disgusting, they are getting worse and worse.
I mention cindy crawford because I know of this practising brother who gave his wife an ultimatum that within 2 mths of having her baby, he wanted her to look like Cindy Crawford..
So i assume he meant plastic surgery and skin bleachin.. :wacko:
:aku_astaghfirullah: what a crying shame :(
And blindfolding them on the street!! The billboards are absolutely disgusting, they are getting worse and worse.
I mention cindy crawford because I know of this practising brother who gave his wife an ultimatum that within 2 mths of having her baby, he wanted her to look like Cindy Crawford..
So i assume he meant plastic surgery and skin bleachin.. :wacko:
thats terrible and how does he know what she looks like anyway,he should be lowering his gaze, poor girl goes through all that agony and torture to give him a child and he comes out with that :(
thats terrible and how does he know what she looks like anyway,he should be lowering his gaze, poor girl goes through all that agony and torture to give him a child and he comes out with that :(
some folk are just complete mindless bafoons
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 04:42 PM
thank you asiya
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:48 PM
R u fightin' over the same computer or s/t? Is he in trouble for talkin' the marriage talk? :torture:
It was not her that made him leave, it was me.....
Emelianenko
17-12-06, 04:50 PM
Yeh I know what you mean but the way I see it is no matter who you marry there are always going to be people that are better looking then that person. Lowering your gaze is a concept that is not conditionally applied based on how beautiful your spouse is.. there is NO excuse for not lowering ones gaze.
A person can lower there gaze as much as they want, doesnt mean it will make em attracted to there spouse if Allah swt has not given em much beauty etc. Lowering gaze etc are without a doubt a MUST no two ways about it, however to think one should not consider beauty, wealth etc and just deen alone seriously needs waking up.
Mr_Jailer
17-12-06, 04:50 PM
Believe me, when you are in talkin' to a potential spouse, it helps u lower the gaze, let alone find what its like when you're married. :inlove:
Ur jus focussed on ur potential, nothin' else :D
thats terrible and how does he know what she looks like anyway,he should be lowering his gaze, poor girl goes through all that agony and torture to give him a child and he comes out with that :(
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 04:53 PM
i was aLWways taught to hold eye contact with all people, especially those you love
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 04:55 PM
im completely lost, is this a bros 'in' conversation going on? :confused:
You don't have access to that section.
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 04:59 PM
R u fightin' over the same computer or s/t? Is he in trouble for talkin' the marriage talk? :torture:
I made a joke and he took it the wrong way...
You don't have access to that section.
you dont say grumps :smack:
:crying2:
:hidban:
ur_yusra
17-12-06, 05:03 PM
A person can lower there gaze as much as they want, doesnt mean it will make em attracted to there spouse if Allah swt has not given em much beauty etc. Lowering gaze etc are without a doubt a MUST no two ways about it, however to think one should not consider beauty, wealth etc and just deen alone seriously needs waking up.
Of course look at beauty since that is the advice given by Rasoolallah (SAW) however that does not mean we completely disregard the not so good looking. That was my point.
Of course look at beauty since that is the advice given by Rasoolallah (SAW) however that does not mean we completely disregard the not so good looking. That was my point.
sah ukhti i think it was imam malik ( correct me if im wrong abu musab akhi please) who his wife said to him before marriage, that she knew she was not beautiful but she would do all she could to be a good wife to him, they married and had a long and happy marriage masha Allah. And just look at the very beautiful unknown ansari girl who married julaybeeb radiallahu anh, see as the prophet salallahu allayhi also said marry for deen. Beauty fades, and what if ( audu billah) some terrible accident befell your spouse, and they were physically scarred, or disabled, what would they divorce them then, Allahu alam, i think even those who are not classically "beautiful" have so much beauty in them, u even look at old people in their 80`s who are so incredibly wrinkled, their wrinkles just make them look beautiful masha Allah, guess it all comes down to iman, Allahu alam. I think we can always find beauty in any person if we look deep enough insha Allah. Id rather marry a pious not soo attractive man than a beautiful one who had little or no deen.
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 05:35 PM
whats wrong with looking a girl in the eye
whats wrong with looking a girl in the eye
if she aint with u in marriage..why look at her?
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 05:49 PM
whats wrong with looking a girl in the eye
I've never even looked a man in the eye let alone a woman *Roll Eyes*
whats wrong with looking a girl in the eye
it is haraam to look at the opposite sex i.e. eye her/him up, the initial look u have is fine after that u must lower your gaze
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 05:55 PM
well i learn new things abouyt this religion everyday
ur_yusra
17-12-06, 06:01 PM
'..Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty:
That will make for greater purity for them:
And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty..'
[Qur'an 24:30-31]
Abu Mus'ab
17-12-06, 06:01 PM
well i learn new things abouyt this religion everyday
Isn't that one of the reasons that you came here?
well i learn new things abouyt this religion everyday
everyone is learning something everyday, including muslims themselves, this is what our journey is, learning and practicing it inshallah..may allah swt make it easy for u ameen
well i learn new things abouyt this religion everyday
it helps to prevent people from falling into sins, so many times as im sure u know, people begin to look at each other, it all begins with a longing gaze, then a conversation, including more gazing, then before u know it, the people are up to all sorts, and it causes all kinds of problems in society, men looking at other peoples wives, they fall into adultery etc, so we thank Allah that he told us to lower our gazes, because it could lead to so many problems, and of course prevention is the number one cure of problems in the first place. of course if u would like to get married, to a woman then its permissible to look at her, to see if u like her, and visa versa. again we have conditions to that and we dont sit alone together even to get to know each other for marriage, just look at it like having a chaperone, which was common in all societies till marriage, till about 100 years ago. imagine today if this was still done, no unwanted pregnancies no marriages breaking upbecause of adultery etc, it keeps society together and prevents children from suffering too, so many people today just dont think about the consequences of their actions.
everyone is learning something everyday, including muslims themselves, this is what our journey is, learning and practicing it inshallah..may allah swt make it easy for u ameen
true sis, amin :)
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 06:19 PM
you know im thinking im willing to give myself up to allah and follow his teachings for as long as i may live, its true that the things you see on tv are false yall arent like those radicals, i could really come to enjoy this religion. plz keep me in your prayers and i will keep you in mine -bows- and may Allah guide our path til the day we die and we may finally rejoice with him
Of course look at beauty since that is the advice given by Rasoolallah (SAW) however that does not mean we completely disregard the not so good looking. That was my point.
Good on you sticking up for those brothers!! No seriously, vice versa for women. All things count, but as i has been said by the Prophet (SAW), 'marry the religous one and you will be successful.'
I remember I went to a talk once where the speaker said, that beauty will fade over time and one day, that woman wont be as beautiful as she was. Her money may go, her status may go, but inshaAllah bi'ithniLLah, her deen will not falter. And that is what counts ...
you know im thinking im willing to give myself up to allah and follow his teachings for as long as i may live, its true that the things you see on tv are false yall arent like those radicals, i could really come to enjoy this religion. plz keep me in your prayers and i will keep you in mine -bows- and may Allah guide our path til the day we die and we may finally rejoice with him
amin, alhamdulillah (means all the praises are due to Allah) were all here to support u with anything u need, may Allah ta ala guide us all, amin
Saint Poetry
17-12-06, 06:28 PM
i just think i may need a few hundred dollars for a plane ticket so i can visit mecca before my time
:rolleyes:
:smack:
jus shurrup now fais
... :( .. if ya say so :( ...
Fais took you literally :(
I'm ur cart :(
took what literally?
It was not her that made him leave, it was me.....
I was joking bro :p .. love playing the guilt trick now and then
you know im thinking im willing to give myself up to allah and follow his teachings for as long as i may live, its true that the things you see on tv are false yall arent like those radicals, i could really come to enjoy this religion. plz keep me in your prayers and i will keep you in mine -bows- and may Allah guide our path til the day we die and we may finally rejoice with him
ameen SP
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 08:17 PM
I was joking bro :p .. love playing the guilt trick now and then
Ur quite good at it.:torture:
you know im thinking im willing to give myself up to allah and follow his teachings for as long as i may live, its true that the things you see on tv are false yall arent like those radicals, i could really come to enjoy this religion. plz keep me in your prayers and i will keep you in mine -bows- and may Allah guide our path til the day we die and we may finally rejoice with him
inshallah and ameen :love:
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
I'd rather I was told the reason than have it plague my mind endlessly second guessing what the reason could have been..
And reply with "it's ok, I find you ugly too.." lol I'm joking ;)
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 08:37 PM
I'd rather I was told the reason than have it plague my mind endlessly second guessing what the reason could have been..
And reply with "it's ok, I find you ugly too.." lol I'm joking ;)
id punch her in the face and be like haha now UR ugly. :D :D
just jokin wouldn't even dream of doin that:D
id punch her in the face and be like haha now UR ugly. :D :D
just jokin wouldn't even dream of doin that:D
why does me think your not joking, u would both be as bad as each other in that stance, you would be no better than her..... :torture:
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 08:41 PM
why does me think your not joking, u would both be as bad as each other in that stance, you would be no better than her..... :torture:
me think u got it wrong. me was joking. me dont hit girlies.:D
me think u got it wrong. me was joking. me dont hit girlies.:D
ok...now me thinks your gona try and punch me so.....:outta:
Umm 'Umarah
17-12-06, 08:47 PM
okay so say....she didnt say the guy was ugly...just not her type- or the type of looks she'd go for...just not her idea of attractive looking.
so the conclusion is....
:rubeyes: brothers would be offended and some would even go to such lengths as using razors and hitting the girl.
okay so say....she didnt say the guy was ugly...just not her type- or the type of looks she'd go for...just not her idea of attractive looking.
Maybe the guy can take comfort in the fact that someone will probably feel the same way about her..
But if thats what she thinks, thats what she thinks. I mean, no one would want to be married to a person who thinks ur ugly and doesnt find you attractive. :o I think offence is better taken before marriage, you'll soon get over it I'm sure...
Lambo5688
17-12-06, 09:24 PM
ok...now me thinks your gona try and punch me so.....:outta:
after me said that me dont girlies:rolleyes:
okay so say....she didnt say the guy was ugly...just not her type- or the type of looks she'd go for...just not her idea of attractive looking.
so the conclusion is....
:rubeyes: brothers would be offended and some would even go to such lengths as using razors and hitting the girl.
im sure they didnt mean that take no notice.
the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam has told us to speak a good word or remain silent. i remember vaugely a story i once heard, about someone who couldnt control their tounge and said mean things to people, and so they were told by their uncle every time they spoke ill, to go hammer a nail in the fence outside.. so they did... after some time the fence was full of nails, so they were told ok now take out every nail in the fence... what was left was a fence full of holes... point is they might just be words, but they leave scars just like a physical strike does... hope that makes sense..
we should love for our brothers what we love for ourselves as the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam said none of us truely believes until we do that. sometimes its best to remain silent.can really damage a persons self confidence to say things about them, and all of Allahs creation is beautiful in its own way, to say someone is ugly, or unnatractive is to insult Allah ta ala, who created them in my opinion.Allahu alam.
Umm 'Umarah
17-12-06, 09:59 PM
the situation has been resolved...the situation was... his parents proposed, her parents did mashwara...they asked her for her opinion she was 50-50 by this time her family have come to a discussion decided they arent compatible...her family have decided to decline ....she doesnt have to tell him anything...Allah knows best.
I agree with Sister Asiya, we ought to have some Modesty, if we don't like someone, we shouldn't say they're Ugly, this will offend them straight away, further beauty itself is Subjective, some people find someone or something Beautiful, while others find them Not!
I also think replying Yes or no to Proposals is Sufficient, as opposed to going in detail and saying step by step why a person doesn't agree, could seriously hurt the persons self confidence.
Allah Knows Best.
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 02:43 AM
see most of yall are lucky, yall's families set up the marriages for u, u dont hav to worry as much. i on the other hand hav to find a girl on my own
barodate
18-12-06, 03:04 AM
see most of yall are lucky, yall's families set up the marriages for u, u dont hav to worry as much. i on the other hand hav to find a girl on my own
it aint too hard bro lol everyone finds one in the end
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 03:24 AM
yea, tell me that in 5 years and we'll see
see most of yall are lucky, yall's families set up the marriages for u, u dont hav to worry as much. i on the other hand hav to find a girl on my own
akhi ur mentally beating yourself up to much, your only 17 mashallah!!!!
barodate
18-12-06, 07:58 AM
yea, tell me that in 5 years and we'll see
lol if your not married in 5 years ill reccomend you to someone :P
Abu Mus'ab
18-12-06, 09:45 AM
okay so say....she didnt say the guy was ugly...just not her type- or the type of looks she'd go for...just not her idea of attractive looking.
so the conclusion is....
:rubeyes: brothers would be offended and some would even go to such lengths as using razors and hitting the girl.
I wouldn't be offended in the least.
where do question like this leave those single folk with facial disfigurations or facial burns/unsightly facial brithmarks????
:(
so... like does this mean guys have feelings too :scratch:
so... like does this mean guys have feelings too :scratch:
Yes we have feelings aswell..but we're just way cooler about it :D
Yes we have feelings aswell..but we're just way cooler about it :D
well come back stranger...! how was your time out! :D
where do question like this leave those single folk with facial disfigurations or facial burns/unsightly facial brithmarks????
:(
Beauty or attractiveness fades away over time anyway, if a potential husband realises this or even discusses such things with you before you two make a decision, then you have yourself a real find in that regard :up:
well come back stranger...! how was your time out! :D
I learnt somethings about somethings ;) - keep an eye out for my next thread, I'm just organising and planning the discussion right now.
I learnt somethings about somethings ;) - keep an eye out for my next thread, I'm just organising and planning the discussion right now.
lool! can;t wait! :up:
you know what happened with the *Whistle whiistle* thread dont ya! :(
deleted, cant be bothered
lool! can;t wait! :up:
you know what happened with the *Whistle whiistle* thread dont ya! :(
Check your pm
Check your pm
yeh sweet. responded!!
Eeman.. why you bothering deleting your posts.. let it out woman!! :rolleyes: SPEAK!
yeh sweet. responded!!
Eeman.. why you bothering deleting your posts.. let it out woman!! :rolleyes: SPEAK!
i dont fancy exposing charades today Guv :rolleyes:
GothiKa
18-12-06, 03:43 PM
where do question like this leave those single folk with facial disfigurations or facial burns/unsightly facial brithmarks????
:(
I am a person whose face sports facial disfigurations to a certain degree. At first, I was always troubled whenever I thought about my future. To think that I will die alone without a companion/soulmate in my life was difficult. Now, however, I couldnt care less. Adamant in obtaining knowledge (not just in Islam), my mind has been expurgated of these connubial and irrelevant thoughts, Alhamdolillah.
I am a person whose face sports facial disfigurations to a certain degree. At first, I was always troubled whenever I thought about my future. To think that I will die alone without a companion/soulmate in my life was difficult. Now, however, I couldnt care less. Adamant in obtaining knowledge (not just in Islam), my mind has been expurgated of these connubial and irrelevant thoughts, Alhamdolillah.
mashallah bro, i admire your disregard for group think and public opinon. some people are just shallow but you should believe you'll be alone forever :) Allah is the best of providers
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 03:50 PM
lol if your not married in 5 years ill reccomend you to someone :P
ill hold you to that
Enigma Dreamer
18-12-06, 03:56 PM
mashallah bro, i admire your disregard for group think and public opinon. some people are just shallow but you should believe you'll be alone forever :) Allah is the best of providers
Assalaamu aleykum.
Being alone forever is not a good thing.
InshaaAllah, the bro will find a great sister. Trust me, looks do not matter. The prophet (s.a.w) ''Allah (s.w.) doesn't look at your bodies nor at your appearnces (beautiful, e.t.c.) but He looks at that is in your hearts and your deeds''
How many people are married and ain't good looking?
Assalaamu aleykum.
Being alone forever is not a good thing.
InshaaAllah, the bro will find a great sister. Trust me, looks do not matter. The prophet (s.a.w) ''Allah (s.w.) doesn't look at your bodies nor at your appearnces (beautiful, e.t.c.) but He looks at that is in your hearts and your deeds''
How many people are married and ain't good looking?
thats beautiful but not implemented is it? its a concept so far removed to everthing society today condones- eastern and western
looks fade after you marry and its the inner beauty inshllah that your left with and after that it doesnt matter, and Allah knows best
Enigma Dreamer
18-12-06, 04:03 PM
thats beautiful but not implemented is it? its a concept so far removed to everthing society today condones- eastern and western
looks fade after you marry and its the inner beauty inshllah that your left with and after that it doesnt matter, and Allah knows best
Exactly, sis but then, it is human for some to consider good looks.
.: hayat :.
18-12-06, 04:07 PM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
maybe she has nothing with ur appearance..even a bro looks gorgeous could not please a sis by his appearance..ur look is not a problem..her feeling abt u is..just u r not chosen by swt allah for tht sis..
Exactly, sis but then, it is human for some to consider good looks.
it is but we really need to look beyond this. i see muslim lassess fallin head over heals in love with david beckham and eminem and saying theyd no way marry a bloke who wasnt a stud muffin :rolleyes: and its more or less the same thing hoepfully age and experience wisens them inshallah. wisens us all inshallah, we all have our prejuidces and reservations about people but this shouldnt be the forefront of our thoughts.
my friend came to my work place once to visit me at lunch time and when i left the room for a few moments some kids walked in and snigered and laughed at her facials burns, i was furious, those were kids tho, its all the more worse when adults think in this manner.
maybe she has nothing with ur appearance..even a bro looks gorgeous could not please a sis by his appearance..ur look is not a problem..her feeling abt u is..just u r not chosen by swt allah for tht sis..
well said arh_mihaela ...what matters ultimately is heart and it is Allah alone who unites hearts :)
it is but we really need to look beyond this. i see muslim lassess fallin head over heals in love with david beckham and eminem and saying theyd no way marry a bloke who wasnt a stud muffin :rolleyes: and its more or less the same thing hoepfully age and experience wisens them inshallah. wisens us all inshallah, we all have our prejuidces and reservations about people but this shouldnt be the forefront of our thoughts.
my friend came to my work place once to visit me at lunch time and when i left the room for a few moments some kids walked in and snigered and laughed at her facials burns, i was furious, those were kids tho, its all the more worse when adults think in this manner.
well said ukhti :up:
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 07:35 PM
ther is this girl at my school, i really like her, we get along great, and i love spending time with her. ther could come a time when i could love her. but the thing is, she doesnt want to be with me, for w/e reason it doesnt matter, she just doesnt, if she did(knowing her and other american girls like her) she would not hav a boyfriend and would be flirting with me, but she isnt, and she does. so dont dwell on one girl. my friend made me realize my dwelling problem, she told me to just let her go and if she comes around then she comes around, if she doesnt, then its good to hav close friends, ya know? I realize i may not be the best guy to be saying this, what with me talking about marriage and the like, but girls arent everything, at least not when ur young, and i'd say ur younger then me so you've got some time, dont worry aBout it. just live your life to the fullest and Praise Allah for all your given until the day you finally do find a wife, then you can rejoice because you have lived and waited without impatience.
I don't mean to be rude, but I've heard men say "women aren't everything". Coincidentally, these men are single. And I've heard women say the same thing about men. And yes, they were single too.
Me on the other hand, I would say the opposite. They can mean alot and sometimes everything. And yes, you guessed it, I'm not 'single'.
See how it works? ;)
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 07:53 PM
its true -fit of crying- i havent loved a woman in 2 years -cries some more- im gonna die alone...:(
Both are in Need of the other, for a Legit relationship based on Compassion and Caring!
All those who deny that they don't need a Wife, or those who say they don't need a Husband are just plain lying to themselves!
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 08:01 PM
i dont think i dont need one(i want one so bad), i just think that if u obsess over a girl its gonna freak her out and thus create bad karma
Brother Saint Poetry I wasn't addressing you, I was addressing the So called Bachelors who think that they can remain one during their entire Life, without having pre-marital relations! :rolleyes:
Saint Poetry
18-12-06, 08:17 PM
ah ic, yea well i already screwed that up so oh well
.: hayat :.
19-12-06, 01:21 PM
well said arh_mihaela ...what matters ultimately is heart and it is Allah alone who unites hearts :)
well alld we all see couples in which one is considered gorgeous and we ask ourselves why the gorgeouse choose the other person..we compare them maybe with "the beautiful and the beast"..we must remember that the beast was special by inside appearance..a beast can become a prince charming in the eyes of the other by his character..so..it depends on how we consider beauty..it depends in what we search beauty..beauty is in each of us but it is recognized just by few of us..not all ppl think the same or have the same values on considering issues as beauty or other human features..we must be grateful to allah for wht he gave us and not be concerned abt ur appearance..our appearance is chosen by allah and all things allah does r for a purpose..allah does not create smth for nothing..in allah'eyes we r good looking all and we r gorgeous if we follow his word:up:
Islam is a realistic religion for mankind and the Prophet (saw) said that you can look for beauty in a potential spouse. One can and one should, because it is one of the factors that is important for the success of a marriage. And anyway, mashallah, everyones idea of beauty is subjective- different people find different things attractive.
instead of chasing women of this dunya when yal can work hard and pray that Allah swt makes the women of Jannat as your wifes ;)
Who needs women of this dunya when yal can work hard and pray that Allah swt makes the women of Jannat as your wifes ;)
Your deen says something different, so be careful what you say. Alhumdullillah Adam (as), or the other Anbiya (as) of Allah (swt) after him, or the Ulema of Islam who had mothers, wives and daughters, didnt have the same kind of thinking as that.
Arsalan
19-12-06, 04:00 PM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
Firstly id say allow it.
Then id wallow in self loathing, priveatly sulking in my utter humilation , then id go into a deep depression.
Then id have a Rizla Rollee.
And ill be ok tomorrow, as if it never happened.
And just allow it.
Your deen says something different, so be careful what you say. Alhumdullillah Adam (as), or the other Anbiya (as) of Allah (swt) after him, or the Ulema of Islam who had mothers, wives and daughters, didnt have the same kind of thinking as that.
Excuse me? Where did i say something diffrent from my deen? I meant instead of thinking of women all the time, how about we improve our deen?
I read 'who needs the women of this dunya' because thats what you actually said. My apologies for reading what you wrote.
Umm Amjad
19-12-06, 04:22 PM
Bismilah
Asalam o3alaikumwara7matulahiwabarakatuh
It is better to ask for the appearance first so that you reject the person for their appearance walakin you are not allouwed to ask about their Knowledge and then their appearance as it may occure that they have knowledge but are not good looking
And so you have achieved to reject someone for their Religious knowledge although is it sacred.
I understand this discussion has its moral but please make it Islamic.
but lets remember one thing is that Julaybib was very un attractive but ibn Masud (RA) was jelouus of him as he was buried by the prophet (SAW) which means he will go Jannah.
I dont see how people gain so much knowlede yet looks have become the main focus point of any marital decision.
Walahuta3alam
Wasalam o3alaikumwar7amatulahiwwabarakatuh
I dont see how people gain so much knowlede yet looks have become the main focus point of any marital decision.
Its not the main focus point of the decision, but its part of it. And this is not unislamic.
Its very unrealistic to say, they do not matter.
I would go to the gadgetshop.com and buy one of those mirrors, where you press a button, and it breaks, but you can reattach the pieces of course...
So Id go see her, and Id say, youre calling me ugly? Well al hamdulillah at least Im not so beautiful so as to do this..and point the mirror to her, press the button so it breaks...
At which point her sister would see this, and would laugh, and then you can marry her sister, YAY...
:hidban:
Umm Amjad
20-12-06, 03:54 PM
Its not the main focus point of the decision, but its part of it. And this is not unislamic.
Its very unrealistic to say, they do not matter.
pardon, but did i ever recal its forbideen.?
How can myself not agree with something the prophet (SAW) had said
pardon, but did i ever recal its forbideen.?
How can myself not agree with something the prophet (SAW) had said
ukht it was only a general comment, not a personal attack on you Inshallah.
er...Actually Most people Give more Priority on Physical Looks when looking for Spouses over any other aspect. :o
Beauty is important, theres nothing wrong with wanting a Beautiful Husband or Wife, but we shouldn't make it the Top Priority, as Looks do not reveal the Character of the Person, which is much more important.
islamirama
22-12-06, 06:35 AM
:salams
say there was a girl you really liked and you were seriously considering her for marriage, initially she told you she liked you..then later she rejected you mainly because of your looks.
...how would you take it..? how would you feel? how would you react?
:wswrwb:
Personally i might be a bit offended but then will laugh at it and her. Laugh at her for chasing something she first gota have and 2ndly cuz of her being stupid enough not to know what she's getting into.
As for reaction, if she says it to my face then i'd say a few things to her but if indirectly then maybe different.
But inshallah don't think i'll be ever in that position. :D
If the case was reverse, what would you do/say/react?
Supernova Nebula
22-12-06, 07:15 AM
people say, beauty is skin deep, in the eye of the beholder and subjective.
:wswrwb:
Personally i might be a bit offended but then will laugh at it and her. Laugh at her for chasing something she first gota have and 2ndly cuz of her being stupid enough not to know what she's getting into.
As for reaction, if she says it to my face then i'd say a few things to her but if indirectly then maybe different.
But inshallah don't think i