View Full Version : can a guy and a girl JUST be friends?
NoLongerLost
07-12-06, 05:25 PM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
islamically it is not alright but whats happening today proves otherwise. soo many times you hear people say "oh but we're just friends/ nothing is gonna happen/ i see him as a brother/ i see her as a sister...." etc....
whats ur lots opinions on this? is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
muslim_sis
07-12-06, 05:38 PM
one of my friends got proposed to by the guy that she said 'oh id never marry him , hes like an annoying bro''
now they are married :rolleyes: lol
When Islam outlines things, when Allah command us to do things and we are advised by the prophet then we should follow. Allah is our creator and who knows the best advise over the one who created the creation!? Obviously Allah alone , and the prophet (Saw) was sent to spread the message , so subhanallah , we cant have buts to what we have to do as muslims. It seems people make it a 'difficult' thing to follow but u will find its so beautiful and simple to follow al islam ! When u do things and u know u are seeking the pleasure of Allah , what more a better intention and feeling to have. There is the hadeeth which states that when there is a man and woman alone, the third is shaytaan , meaning anything could happen between because of the nature of man [resulting in zina : note: zina can coe in different forms],& as Allah mentions in the Quran that things have been made in pairs , and that the male and female have been created & they may come together in marriage with love and mercy between them. The commands set by Allah is protection for us to keep on the striaght path. And our purpose in this life should be to worship Allah , so to 'but' what Allah has put forward seems a bit shakey ! We have testified that there is none worthy of worship besides Allah and that prophet muhammed is the final messenger. By saying this , this tawheed, believing in Allah , u have to believe in all of his attributes, He is The protector , The Guider, The forgiver,The Trustee The most Powerful, The Wise, The Holy. Subhanallah , Glory be to Him!!!
.: Anna :.
07-12-06, 05:42 PM
yes it is a peeve of mine when ppl say "oh i cd not marry him, he is like my own brother to me." - he is not ur mahram, why evelate him 2 that status, and that level of closeness?!
its understandable, we have brothers in islam n we may like n respect them but we dont become like close with them, that u think of him like ur blood brother... if u consider a bro like that, u have gone past ur boundary!!!
:S
NoLongerLost
07-12-06, 05:47 PM
lol welll some people do actually say that! :rolleyes:
.: hayat :.
07-12-06, 05:48 PM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
islamically it is not alright but whats happening today proves otherwise. soo many times you hear people say "oh but we're just friends/ nothing is gonna happen/ i see him as a brother/ i see her as a sister...." etc....
whats ur lots opinions on this? is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
surely not!
.: Anna :.
07-12-06, 05:49 PM
lol welll some people do actually say that! :rolleyes:yess they do! i have heard it and not just the once :rolleyes:
NoLongerLost
07-12-06, 05:49 PM
surely not!
care to explain why?
Depends what a friend is...
:)
NoLongerLost
07-12-06, 05:50 PM
yess they do! i have heard it and not just the once :rolleyes:
LOLL 1 bro actually said to me...actually 2...they go ur like the sis ive neva had and i didnt no what 2 say so i was like hey! dont go insulting ur blood sisters! they aint gonna b 2 happy wen they find out! :rolleyes:
NoLongerLost
07-12-06, 05:51 PM
Depends what a friend is...
:)
sum1 u have a laff with or spend time with or go out with... etc
NO they cant and the ones that say we can, then they are living a lie so that they have an excuse to mix with the opposite sex
.: hayat :.
07-12-06, 05:56 PM
care to explain why?
as a kaffira i thought i can have boys as just friends..but friendship start frm a sympathy...u wanna be friend... with him for a special feature he has..character or just a think..but being close to him as friends turn into smth else for one of them..one of them usually fall in love and suffer...
Seven.sins
07-12-06, 06:44 PM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
islamically it is not alright but whats happening today proves otherwise. soo many times you hear people say "oh but we're just friends/ nothing is gonna happen/ i see him as a brother/ i see her as a sister...." etc....
whats ur lots opinions on this? is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
u gotta be kiddin...even this is an issue
Khubaib
07-12-06, 07:28 PM
I think the concept of friendship is pretty weak in Islam. We are awliyah of eachother. Between a muslim sister and brother I think it is questionable. It is better to respect eachother as brother and sister instead of reducing the others' status by becoming friends. Plus by becoming friends we introduce an avenue for shaitan to attack. Even on these forums the sisters here are my sisters and awliyah (not friends) from which to seek advice or knowledge without seeing them and thus benefiting without the fitnah. Inshallah we will battle shaitan until our last breath and be victorious. Ameen.
Na'eemah
07-12-06, 07:35 PM
I think the concept of friendship is pretty weak in Islam. We are awliyah of eachother. Between a muslim sister and brother I think it is questionable. It is better to respect eachother as brother and sister instead of reducing the others' status by becoming friends. Plus by becoming friends we introduce an avenue for shaitan to attack. Even on these forums the sisters here are my sisters and awliyah (not friends) from which to seek advice or knowledge without seeing them and thus benefiting without the fitnah. Inshallah we will battle shaitan until our last breath and be victorious. Ameen.
Ameen.
ZainabS
07-12-06, 08:53 PM
It depends on the 2 people... but yh. i think they can be just friends..
Ibn-e-Muslim
07-12-06, 09:30 PM
It depends on the 2 people... but yh. i think they can be just friends..
u forgot the side note that does not mean u speaking what islam teaches us
ZainabS
07-12-06, 09:35 PM
^o) what you on?
Ibn-e-Muslim
07-12-06, 09:44 PM
^o) what you on?
on chair front of my PC, expacting me sumwhere else :scratch:
ZainabS
07-12-06, 09:47 PM
no dude seriously... i didnt get what you said? *unsure*
Ibn-e-Muslim
07-12-06, 09:51 PM
if u dont get it, not for u, leave it :)
ZainabS
07-12-06, 09:52 PM
yh aite then.. cant be bothered anyway
Ibn-e-Muslim
07-12-06, 09:55 PM
good :up:
RashidD
07-12-06, 10:18 PM
No, i don't think it should be done to the point of friendship (but this depends on who or what one considers "a friend" so i'll leave that bit open for you) You should be civil, kind, compassionate etc but with an element of swiftness imo, so you can be a helpful citizen and not rude but at the same time not compromise yourself. It's like a fitna breeding ground - like saying well i'm not gonna wrestle the lion, but i'll get in it's cage anyway... Putting yourself at risk.
Plus you gotta keep the guidelines of the Shari'ah in mind and constantly watch yourself.
never did understand this
ze leetle elper
07-12-06, 10:27 PM
No.
(*_Hamzah
07-12-06, 10:41 PM
Depends what a friend is...
:)
Your my friend but I wouldn't marry you only attend your nikkah
Ibn-e-Muslim
08-12-06, 08:13 AM
Your my friend but I wouldn't marry you only attend your nikkah
shazan bro/sis : u r a sister :rubeyes:
:smack:
Your my friend but I wouldn't marry you only attend your nikkah
*clutches broken heart*
:(
Refugee
08-12-06, 12:57 PM
a guy and a girl could never be "just" friends *Roll Eyes*
Ruprecht
08-12-06, 01:03 PM
Yes they can. I have had a couple of good female friends.
See, we all have to define what a friend is first...
:)
is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
nope.
Makkis theory of "just friends"...
in a situation where two people of the opposite sex are "just friends" one always secretly finds the other attractive, but is too afraid to say anything. if they dont find each other attractive, then they wont be "just friends" they'll be aquaintances. if they both find the other attractive then they wont be "just friends" they will be; "just lovers".
and its usually the male that is attracted physically its our nature to do so.
also we're more immature.
Ruprecht
08-12-06, 03:41 PM
nope.
Makkis theory of "just friends"...
in a situation where two people of the opposite sex are "just friends" one always secretly finds the other attractive, but is too afraid to say anything. if they dont find each other attractive, then they wont be "just friends" they'll be aquaintances. if they both find the other attractive then they wont be "just friends" they will be; "just lovers".
and its usually the male that is attracted physically its our nature to do so.
also we're more immature.
I don't see why you can't be physically attracted to them and yet still just be friends?
It's just a matter of observing the boundaries of the relationship.
It's not like you have to act on every physical impulse.
See, Ruprecht, what it is, is that by doing what youre saying, you increase the chances of you doing something wrong...you open up the avenues..
And in Islam...we close the avenues to make sure nothing silly will happen...if you were a Muslim, to do as such would be like shooting yourself in the foot...
:)
I don't see why you can't be physically attracted to them and yet still just be friends?
thats not friendship is it?
thats essentially selfish isnt it? friendship should be selfless
although i suppose you could argue that by holding back on your desires and just being a friend you are being selfless.
anyway my theory of "just friends" is true. :up:
muslim_sis
08-12-06, 05:11 PM
I think the concept of friendship is pretty weak in Islam. We are awliyah of eachother. Between a muslim sister and brother I think it is questionable. It is better to respect eachother as brother and sister instead of reducing the others' status by becoming friends. Plus by becoming friends we introduce an avenue for shaitan to attack. Even on these forums the sisters here are my sisters and awliyah (not friends) from which to seek advice or knowledge without seeing them and thus benefiting without the fitnah. Inshallah we will battle shaitan until our last breath and be victorious. Ameen.
Ameen!!
Zahyrah
08-12-06, 06:54 PM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
islamically it is not alright but whats happening today proves otherwise. soo many times you hear people say "oh but we're just friends/ nothing is gonna happen/ i see him as a brother/ i see her as a sister...." etc....
whats ur lots opinions on this? is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
NO
*Muhammad*
08-12-06, 10:23 PM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
how about having a platonic relationship with the wife?
BTW ur Q was maybe a suggestion from ur enemy the Satan
24.[21] O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan). And whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitân (Satan), then, verily he commands Al-Fahshâ' (i.e. to commit indecency (illegal sexual intercourse)) and Al-Munkar (disbelief and polytheism (i.e. to do evil and wicked deeds; and to speak or to do what is forbidden in Islâm)) And had it not been for the Grace of Allâh and His Mercy on you, not one of you would ever have been pure from sins. .., and Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower.
Yeh they can be.
If thats all you want sure you can just be friends, but if ur looking for something more than no!
AsslamOAlaikum
i personally don't think so... when its been forbidden by Allah SubhanOTallah .. its forbidden.. end of line.. no buts nd ifs... as they r jus stupid excuses 2 ge taway with.. dey dont reli exist :rolleyes:
can we get real please..
no a guy n girl cant be friends..why?
because, they are both ghair mahram to one another..
simple as.
can we get real please..
no a guy n girl cant be friends..why?
because, they are both ghair mahram to one another..
simple as.
ye exactly...
*Muhammad*
08-12-06, 11:06 PM
why did he/she took her/him as a friend in the 1 place;) think about it
Cristiana
09-12-06, 01:01 AM
It depends on the 2 people... but yh. i think they can be just friends..
I think so too.
I mean, men are not attracted to all women and women are not attracted to all men...
My best friend is a man, we know each other since primary school. We understand each other so well and we are very close... sometime we wondered why we never ended up together (we never went anywhere near that!) and we concluded that simply there is not one little tiny bit of attraction. In this sense I can say he's a brother to me.
Tax-Man
09-12-06, 01:04 AM
Simple words no, I have seen this with my own eyes, Shaytaan is the thrid partner, with hormones running wild lets just say the friendship might be tainted.
Lambo5688
09-12-06, 01:31 AM
The more you talk to a person of the opposite sex, the more you become attracted to him/her.
The more you talk to a person of the opposite sex, the more you become attracted to him/her.
nah .. sometyms it bes other way round.. d more u talk to em.. the more u get put of lool
*Muhammad*
10-12-06, 05:50 AM
Simple words no, I have seen this with my own eyes, Shaytaan is the thrid partner, with hormones running wild lets just say the friendship might be tainted.
yes maybe that will happen someday in an occasion or an accident (sad or happy one condling bla bla)
Lambo5688
10-12-06, 09:50 AM
nah .. sometyms it bes other way round.. d more u talk to em.. the more u get put of lool
lol dont u see on tv or in real life....a guy asks this girl for the answer to number blah blah, and then she gives the answer, and then he goes "oo thats right, I was never good at math, you pretty good tho" then she goes "naa my parents are pretty strict about these things" then he goes "o really, mine are too but I dont care" then she goes "haha thats funny. Parents can be so annoying sometimes" then he goes "yea your right. you wanna grab something to eat after school" and BAM!
Salaam.
Personally, with myself, I have had friends of the opposite sex during my years at school, college, university etc. It was purely platonic, in a respectful manner, were we would just discuss coursework and other educational related matters, nothing ever proceeded beyond that.
hkrespect
11-12-06, 01:08 AM
when a boy n girl are in a room, the third person present is shaytaan
its impossible to have a freinship with the opposite gender, as they cannot chat alone together even on the phone, nor can they sit alone, or hang out together so no they cant, bottem line is shaitan is the third present with them and who wants to hang out with shaitan...audu billah
During my student days, Due to specific course work and lectures etc, I had to communicate with muslims of the opposite gender. It was purely work/educational related, and thats all that my intentions were. I genuinely saw the muslim girls as sisters and nothing more, nothing less. But I guess I wouldnt have classes them as friends like hanging out etc.
Khubaib
11-12-06, 04:00 AM
lol dont u see on tv or in real life....a guy asks this girl for the answer to number blah blah, and then she gives the answer, and then he goes "oo thats right, I was never good at math, you pretty good tho" then she goes "naa my parents are pretty strict about these things" then he goes "o really, mine are too but I dont care" then she goes "haha thats funny. Parents can be so annoying sometimes" then he goes "yea your right. you wanna grab something to eat after school" and BAM!
:rofl1:
You have it all figured out don't you?
BAM!
*Muhammad*
12-12-06, 05:23 AM
Salaam.
Personally, with myself, I have had friends of the opposite sex during my years at school, college, university etc. It was purely platonic, in a respectful manner, were we would just discuss coursework and other educational related matters, nothing ever proceeded beyond that.
they were companions or partners not friends
*Muhammad*
12-12-06, 05:28 AM
bottem line is shaitan is the third present with them and who wants to hang out with shaitan...audu billah
:rofl1: :rotfl:
rukayya
12-12-06, 08:20 AM
salaam
do guys thing having platonic friendships is ok? this is mostly about opinion
islamically it is not alright but whats happening today proves otherwise. soo many times you hear people say "oh but we're just friends/ nothing is gonna happen/ i see him as a brother/ i see her as a sister...." etc....
whats ur lots opinions on this? is it possible for non mahrams to be just friends in this society?
salam alaikum,
in islam it is haram. alhamdulillah, islam is not opinion! we must be very careful with such things.
:hidban: wa'salam
rukayya
NoLongerLost
12-12-06, 10:40 AM
i noooooo i just wanted to know what other people thought and why!!! no harm in asking!
*Muhammad*
13-12-06, 03:14 AM
salam alaikum,
in islam it is haram. alhamdulillah, islam is not opinion! we must be very careful with such things.
:hidban: wa'salam
rukayya
33[36] It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.
Allah's laws are all full of wisdom
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