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Have you cleaned the house?
Is dinner ready?
Have you fed the kids?
Did you wash my clothes?
These are some of the questions that women hear, day in and day out, from husbands who assert that wives are nothing more than servants and baby machines. But a wife is neither.
Nevertheless, amidst busy schedules on the parts of both women and men, some husbands forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the rights of their wives. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates and their children of the happiness and tranquility that is the bedrock of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple's ideal relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden with troubles and worries.
Even among religious families, you will find some husbands who still do not have a proper understanding of rights of their wives, nor a clear vision of the intended relationship between a married couple.
It is both painful and distressing to see a Muslim husband practicing Allah's orders on the one hand, but forgetting to follow His guidance regarding how to treat his wife. Outside the home he is kind, patient and smiling. But, as soon as he returns home, the smiling face becomes angry and sad and the kindness and gentleness turn into nervousness and adversity. He starts shouting and screaming his orders at his wife.
He forgets that although he faces many challenges and pressures outside the house, his wife can also be overwhelmed with the housework and her responsibilities to the children.
He forgets that she also needs rest after a long day of working. Although his duty is to work outside the house and to provide for his family, a wife's role inside the house is not any less important. On the contrary, her role is often more important as she is the one charged with raising the children and guarding the family.
We often see this scenario: A wife feels tired and asks her husband to help her with the cleaning, washing or cooking. He refuses, as though it is shameful for a man to help his wife. Doesn't he know that Prophet Mohammad (SAW), the most beloved person to Allah (SWT), helped his wives with the housework? Doesn't he know that Omar Ibn al-Khattab provided recipes to a group of women in order to teach them how to cook? Could Omar teach others if he himself did not know how to cook?
No husband, regardless of how much work he has, can ever be busier than our Prophet (SAW) whose duty it was to spread Islam. Likewise, no one is busier than Omar who had to bear the responsibility of a Khalifah.
It shocks me to hear that some wives have never heard a loving or appreciative word from their husbands. When asked about the person he loved the most, the Prophet (SAW) did not hesitate to name his wife, A'ishah. Thus, he declared very clearly, that a husband should not be ashamed of loving his wife or even of declaring that love in front of other people.
It is also painful to hear that some husbands do not speak to their wives or spend time with their families, under the pretenses of a busy schedule and da'wa work. While it is noble to be involved in da'wa outside the home, it is also necessary that the wife and children also be recipients of a husband's efforts.
I wonder how married couples can live without ever talking or spending time together or how they can feel happiness and tranquility with this gap separating them. Who else can share in happiness and sadness better than one's wife? Who else can encourage one to confront the challenges of life with perseverance and patience? Who can listen and keep one's secrets better than a wife? Who can help renew iman and intentions better than a wife?
The Prophet (SAW) taught us that the best among men is the one who best treats his wife. Shouldn't we follow the Prophet's example in every issue of our lives?
The Prophet (SAW) spent time with his wives, talking to them, laughing with them, and even playing with them. So why have we strayed from that example?
Raising children is not just the mother's job, as some mistakenly think. It is intended as a mutual responsibility to be shared by both parents. Everyone has his/her complimentary role to undertake regarding family. There is no doubt that the mother bears the bigger burden of responsibility, but the role of the father is likewise important and has tremendous effects on the stability of the family.
Children need the presence and input of a father. They need him to ask them about their homework, help them memorize the Qur'an and understand religion. They need to feel that he is there for them.
Dear husbands, your wife is your partner, your other half and your life mate. She can be your hassanah in this world and "the blessing of your life," but only if you give her the chance to be. She is the one who can bring a smile to your face and dry the tears of pain from your eyes. She has the potential to provide your family with iman, happiness, encouragement, and patience in the face of challenges you may face. Your wife is always ready to sacrifice everything in order to bring happiness and success to the family.
No one can claim that marriage is always blissful or that there will never be any hardships to face. But, if the basis of the relationship is strong and if each person has a clear vision of his partners' rights, then challenges can easily be overcome.
I do not mean to blame all husbands for the problems facing couples today. I am addressing a specific type of husband within the Muslim community: the misinformed one who does not understand that a happier and stronger Muslim family can only be built under a strong partnership between the couple.
Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Qur'an,
" And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (30:21) :inlove: :inlove:
.: hayat :.
06-12-06, 08:28 AM
:up:
subhanAllah barakallahu feeki amin.
can i print this one out for my friend's husband?
yeh...i copied and pasted it from somewhere else :)
Humble1
06-12-06, 09:09 AM
Not All Men are Like dat.....:( ......well im not:D
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart” [al-Nisaa’ 4:4]
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]
“..and live with them honourably” [al-Nisaa’ 4:19]
“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable” [al-Baqarah 2:228]
The Prophet (SAW) said:“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Tirmidhi)
Abu Hurayrah (RA) said: ‘The Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said: ‘Be kind to women.’(Bukharee and Muslim)
Aa’ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) standing at the door of my apartment when the Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak so that I could watch their games, then he stood there for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So you should appreciate the fact that young girls like to have fun.’” (Bukharee and Muslim)
Messenger of Allaah (SAW) ruled, “There should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.”
“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. You too have rights over them, and that they should not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner” (Narrated by Muslim, 1218)
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ameer (ruler) who governs the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the members of his household and is responsible for them. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them. A slave is the shepherd of his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.” (Bukharee and Muslim)
Ma’fil ibn Yasaar al-Muzni (RA) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (SAW) say: “There is no slave to whom Allaah has entrusted the care of people, and he dies neglecting his flock, but Allaah will forbid Paradise to him.”
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Women are the twin halves of men” (Tirmidhi)
Mu’aawiyah ibn Haydah (RA) said: I said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what are the rights of the wife of any one of us over him?” He said: “That you should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her and you should not forsake her except in the house.” (Ahmad, Abu Dawood)
The Prophet (SAW) said: “You will never spend anything seeking thereby the Face of Allaah, but you will be rewarded for it, even (the food) that you put in your wife’s mouth.” (Bukharee)
Tahiyah
06-12-06, 01:07 PM
all women should be bathed in gold, have numerous servants, luxury accomodations, flower petals thrown at her feet, platters of fine food and chocolates served to her by muscle men dressed in toga's while other muscle men in toga's walk beind her and feather-fan her....
:zzz: oh wait... it was just a dream...:rolleyes:
nice post btw.. :up:
no muscley men in togas thank u very much :p
Humble1
06-12-06, 01:10 PM
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
:rubeyes:
Tahiyah
06-12-06, 01:12 PM
no muscley men in togas thank u very much :p
hey, i cant be held accountable for what happens in dreams...:rolleyes:
Tahiyah
06-12-06, 01:13 PM
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
:D
May Allah (swt) grant you a wonderful wife!
:D
May Allah (swt) grant you a wonderful wife!
lol aye aye sir..ahem i mean AMEEENNN!!
Not All Men are Like dat.....:( ......well im not:D
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
:scratch:
Sometimes couples become accustomed to the "gap" between one another and are comfortable with it
As bizarre as that sounds...it can happen.
Humble1
06-12-06, 01:22 PM
:scratch:
:smack:
Sometimes couples become accustomed to the "gap" between one another and are comfortable with it
As bizarre as that sounds...it can happen.
lol thats bizaaree..
im gonna annoy my husband like mad:D ooh cant wait:D
lol thats bizaaree..
im gonna annoy my husband like mad:D ooh cant wait:D
lucky him :rolleyes: :p
lucky him :rolleyes: :p
aye aye..he will have to endure my punishments:D :hidban:
lol thats bizaaree..
im gonna annoy my husband like mad:D ooh cant wait:D
It seems bizarre since we think you need to be all do-eyed and glued to one another throughout your married life for it to be "happy"
Sometimes a gap between one another can be a good thing. It doesn't mean that you don't respect or love one another if you do that. Everyone needs their own space at times. Recognising that and accommodating that is :up:
Dont wind him up too much binty :p
Masha'Allah excellent post.
But I have a question. What if you don't want your wife to cook for you. How do you tell her without offending her, without making her feel that you don't like her cooking. And it has nothing to do with her cooking, some people just like to make their own food...
It seems bizarre since we think you need to be all do-eyed and glued to one another throughout your married life for it to be "happy"
Sometimes a gap between one another can be a good thing. It doesn't mean that you don't respect or love one another if you do that. Everyone needs their own space at times. Recognising that and accommodating that is :up:
Dont wind him up too much binty :p
lol he doesnt know whats coming to him. :p
Masha'Allah excellent post.
But I have a question. What if you don't want your wife to cook for you. How do you tell her without offending her, without making her feel that you don't like her cooking. And it has nothing to do with her cooking, some people just like to make their own food...
i doubt she'll mind if you do all the cooking (as long as you cook for her aswell :p)
Masha'Allah excellent post.
But I have a question. What if you don't want your wife to cook for you. How do you tell her without offending her, without making her feel that you don't like her cooking. And it has nothing to do with her cooking, some people just like to make their own food...
man shes a lucky woman:D
err just tell her " its ok u put your feet up i`ll make us something to eat..?" or how about " thursday night i`ll cook" or something like that women arent horrible ogres insha Allah sure any woman would be delighted with such a thing especially if they have young kids
Masha'Allah excellent post.
But I have a question. What if you don't want your wife to cook for you. How do you tell her without offending her, without making her feel that you don't like her cooking. And it has nothing to do with her cooking, some people just like to make their own food...
Yea i feel the same :scratch:
what happens if she doesnt like your cooking though?
Al Qadr
06-12-06, 01:34 PM
my dad puts too much garnishing n onions n salt in the food
brothers im telling u even just stand in the kitchen peel a spud and offer to help and your wife will be made up that you even offered if u go as far as cooking too then masha Allah :up:
i doubt she'll mind if you do all the cooking (as long as you cook for her aswell :p)
Ok I don't think she will like my cooking.
man shes a lucky woman:D
She hasn't been revealed to me yet.
what happens if she doesnt like your cooking though?
Exactly! :D
Yea i feel the same :scratch:
Bro, you know how it is! :)
err just tell her " its ok u put your feet up i`ll make us something to eat..?" or how about " thursday night i`ll cook" or something like that women arent horrible ogres insha Allah sure any woman would be delighted with such a thing especially if they have young kids
Ok I cant cook, I can only grill and steam and stuff like that, i.e. make tastless food which I am used to eating and is nothing but healthy. so she will definately hate it...
my dad puts too much garnishing n onions n salt in the food
My dads cooking is AMAZING! But I wouldn't tell that to my mum. :)
Al Qadr
06-12-06, 01:47 PM
My dads cooking is AMAZING! But I wouldn't tell that to my mum. :)
My cookin is amazing :S sometimes 8-)
I agree wiv sis asiya, husbands shld help even if its little things like stirring/chopping or cleaning up and washing up :up:
Monica03
06-12-06, 01:52 PM
My cookin is amazing :S sometimes 8-)
I agree wiv sis asiya, husbands shld help even if its little things like stirring/chopping or cleaning up and washing up :up:
LOL, even if u say so yourself :p
I can cook really nicely, but I think I put too much spice in :S
I wana learn how to cook healthy asian curries...is that possible :rubeyes:
LOL, even if u say so yourself :p
I can cook really nicely, but I think I put too much spice in :S
I wana learn how to cook healthy asian curries...is that possible :rubeyes:
Those 3 red words don't go together. :D
Al Qadr
06-12-06, 01:55 PM
LOL, even if u say so yourself :p
I can cook really nicely, but I think I put too much spice in :S
I wana learn how to cook healthy asian curries...is that possible :rubeyes:
less salt, use olive oil instead of veggie oil/ghee. Fresh ingredients
Monica03
06-12-06, 02:00 PM
less salt, use olive oil instead of veggie oil/ghee. Fresh ingredients
:eek: we dont use ghee in curries. Only for special dishes like kormas and occasionally parathas...yummm:inlove:
My sis in law cooks at home a lot and she'l use a bucketful of oil n spices. She gets offended if I try to butt in and tell her not to :scratch:
Those 3 red words don't go together.
LOL I know how very silly of me :rolleyes:
My cookin is amazing :S sometimes 8-)
I agree wiv sis asiya, husbands shld help even if its little things like stirring/chopping or cleaning up and washing up :up:
Sorry but shes on her own there :p
Those 3 red words don't go together. :D
:rotfl: .. i was gonna say the same.
.: Anna :.
06-12-06, 03:27 PM
Its not healthy to become accustomed to too much of a "gap". I think there is a difference between having your own space and having a "gap". It is vital for the communication bw the spouses to always be open even if they have some time for themselves (which also can be good as ebony has said) but to go for days or become in a rut of hardly talking or giving only like some pleasantries, is not good at all. You do hear of people who become almost like living parrallel lives in the same house, and they become very lonely.
Also for the cooking thing, bros if you lot volunteer to cook im sure ur wife will appreciate it, but also you have to accustom urself to sometimes eating her food. u cant do it all the time, she may also want a go....
But look @ u lot all moaning u dnt want to eat ur wives food but u did not even yet meet ur future wives or taste her cooking (as far as i know) she might b the tastiest cook ever! dnt have to expect the worst :)
muslim_sis
06-12-06, 03:39 PM
Jazakillah for that sis hafsah !!!lovely thread , but would have been better without the some silly comments!
Buthaynah
06-12-06, 03:43 PM
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
The post is refering to those husbands that do not give women their rights or forget about them with the excuse of business!
If you do not stick to the folds of Islam {in this regard by giving women their rights} then i think you are the one that needs the :torture:
.: Anna :.
06-12-06, 03:48 PM
yeh
go Buthaynah, go Buthaynah!
:hidban:
hehe
Na'eemah
06-12-06, 03:48 PM
:wacko: The prophety muhammad would help around the house, so why don't 'men' nowadays do it?
Because they aren't real men!
Wusses! Fuss pots! Opressors :outta:
:fairy:
Na'eemah
06-12-06, 03:49 PM
The post is refering to those husbands that do not give women their rights or forget about them with the excuse of business!
If you do not stick to the folds of Islam {in this regard by giving women their rights} then i think you are the one that needs the :torture:
:hidban: :love:
You tell em sister!
:wacko: The prophety muhammad :saw: would help around the house, so why don't 'men' nowadays do it?
Because they are'nt real men!
Wusses! Fuss pots! Opressors :outta:
:fairy:
:)
where can i purchase one of these they sound interesting :rubeyes:
u Women are just so hard to please!!!! Alll u Need is some----->:torture:
I agree ... :outta:
Na'eemah
06-12-06, 03:57 PM
:)
:)
I agree ... :outta:
No, you agree with your sis- aka ME! :)
:)
No, you agree with your sis- aka ME! :)
:crying: ... ok ok .. i agree ... :crying: ... i cant ever see myself doing the washing up though .. i really dislike that ... the wifey is on here own when it comes to cleaning .. cooking im fine with :D.
Na'eemah
06-12-06, 04:01 PM
:crying: ... ok ok .. i agree ... :crying: ... i cant ever see myself doing the washing up though .. i really dislike that ... the wifey is on here own when it comes to cleaning .. cooking im fine with :D.
Well at least thats something :D:up:
scribble
06-12-06, 04:10 PM
I don't see why I have to do anything....... :p
ibn suleman
06-12-06, 04:11 PM
Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn (Qur'an 25:74)
Buthaynah
06-12-06, 04:23 PM
Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn (Qur'an 25:74)
SubhanAllah
Ameen
umm_huraiyrah
06-12-06, 04:26 PM
I don't know..... Allah surely blessed me with my husband. My husband helps with housework and cooking. He helps with our critters. ( we don't have children......yet) He supports me in everything I do even if he disagrees. He's very supportive. He treats me as an equal. Like he say's I don't walk behind him I walk beside him. We are equals. We are partners. We discuss everything. And my husband never ever forgets to be romantic. He spoils me rotten :D And my husband always put me first anmd foremost!!!! I'm not bragging... wait yes I am. I have in a sense the Perfect Husband. Alhamduilla!! I hope I spelled that right :o
Habiba
Buthaynah
06-12-06, 04:35 PM
I don't know..... Allah surely blessed me with my husband. My husband helps with housework and cooking. He helps with our critters. ( we don't have children......yet) He supports me in everything I do even if he disagrees. He's very supportive. He treats me as an equal. Like he say's I don't walk behind him I walk beside him. We are equals. We are partners. We discuss everything. And my husband never ever forgets to be romantic. He spoils me rotten :D And my husband always put me first anmd foremost!!!! I'm not bragging... wait yes I am. I have in a sense the Perfect Husband. Alhamduilla!! I hope I spelled that right :o
Habiba
Alhamdulilah,
say MashAllah sis and thank Allah as He is the One who sent you your husband MashAllah !
Ok I don't think she will like my cooking.
She hasn't been revealed to me yet.
...
lool..oh sorry
well she will be a lucky woman then:D
sunrise
06-12-06, 06:36 PM
a bit harsh dont u think
a bit harsh dont u think
whats harsh?
sunrise
06-12-06, 06:39 PM
whats harsh?
sorry not u i was meant to quote humble1's post about women needing :torture:
sorry not u i was meant to quote humble1's post about women needing :torture:
lol cool :cool:
see about the washing up and cleaning my grandfather used to get up at 5am each morning ( even when he retired and well into his late 80`s) and light the fire and make tea for my grandmother, then she would make them breakfast, he wouldnt let his beloved wifes lovely hands touch anything like dirty pots and pans, darn his socks, or let her clean and polish his shoes, or work boots, when he died after more than 60 years of marriage she didnt even know how to change the bin bag because he had always taken care of what he called "mens work" thats what u call a true gentleman masha Allah :up: and he wasnt even a muslim btw and we muslims have the example of our prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam...
sunrise
06-12-06, 08:06 PM
see about the washing up and cleaning my grandfather used to get up at 5am each morning ( even into his late 80`s) and light the fire and make tea for my grandmother, then she would make them breakfast, he wouldnt let his beloved wifes lovely hands touch anything like dirty pots and pans, darn his socks, or let her clean and polish his shoes, or work boots, when he died after more than 60 years of marriage she didnt even know how to change the bin bag because he had always taken care of what he called "mens work" thats what u call a true gentleman masha Allah :up: and he wasnt even a muslim btw and we muslims have the example of our prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam...
aww *faints* mashAllah now that's what i call :up: :up:
It's all about making the other persons life better, eaiser and more fuller.
MashAllah it's similar for my uncle he loves his wife to bits!:inlove: :inlove:
They have 7 children (6 of whom are girls) and mashAllah although we works full time he will always try and help her out the last time i was at their house he was making dinner mashAllah:inlove:
Sunrise
lol aww mashallah, thats wonderful.
I agree, its very nice to see. My dad makes rotees and everything now and again because he wants to mashallah :D
Better then mine I might add :p
talib ul islam
06-12-06, 08:22 PM
Not all men are like that:( I help my mum with the dishes, get the shopping, even mop the kitchen floor ocassionally:) , I think the older generation of men are a bit more chauvanistic then the present generation though, which I think is more cultural then anything else.
Not all men are like that:( I help my mum with the dishes, get the shopping, even mop the kitchen floor ocassionally:) , I think the older generation of men are a bit more chauvanistic then the present generation though, which I think is more cultural then anything else.
mashaAllaah
i think it has a lot to do with the way 'boys' are brought up...a lot are not ALLOWED by their mothers to do the tiniest bit of housework...esp if they have sisters, and the 'boys' ..Allaah bless them...seem to think everything is clean by magic :rolleyes:
alhamdulilah my dad does a lot of the housework...and we FORCE (:torture: ) my brother to help around the house...inshaAllaah he'll be considerate to his wife and help her around the house when the time comes aswell..and be considerate to her feelings and make her feel special always..its not only about housework..its about being their for your spouse physically and emotionally :)
talib ul islam
06-12-06, 08:34 PM
see about the washing up and cleaning my grandfather used to get up at 5am each morning ( even when he retired and well into his late 80`s) and light the fire and make tea for my grandmother, then she would make them breakfast, he wouldnt let his beloved wifes lovely hands touch anything like dirty pots and pans, darn his socks, or let her clean and polish his shoes, or work boots, when he died after more than 60 years of marriage she didnt even know how to change the bin bag because he had always taken care of what he called "mens work" thats what u call a true gentleman masha Allah :up: and he wasnt even a muslim btw and we muslims have the example of our prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam...
Sounds like a Diamond geezer:up: I personally will help the wife and I think many brothers will and already do as they can empathise with their wives as theyve seen how hard it is/was for their mothers.
But I do also think some mothers have a lot to answer for as they themselves spoil their son's:) which is somewhat counter productive as the sons then expect to be waited on hand an foot by their wives:)
sunrise
06-12-06, 08:58 PM
mashaAllaah
i think it has a lot to do with the way 'boys' are brought up...a lot are not ALLOWED by their mothers to do the tiniest bit of housework...esp if they have sisters, and the 'boys' ..Allaah bless them...seem to think everything is clean by magic :rolleyes:
alhamdulilah my dad does a lot of the housework...and we FORCE (:torture: ) my brother to help around the house...inshaAllaah he'll be considerate to his wife and help her around the house when the time comes aswell..and be considerate to her feelings and make her feel special always..its not only about housework..its about being their for your spouse physically and emotionally :)
Lol yeah unfortuneatley my bros have been bought up like their God's gift from heaven subhanAllah. And you know they take advantage literlly to it's max but i don't blame them it's just the way it's always been.
It's all about te troubaya (upbringing) inshAllah if housework is good enough for the blessed prophet Muahmmed (Sul Allah hu a3la he wa salm) then hell it's good enough or my sons so inshAllah ima bring them up same as my girlies inshAllah.
But yeah i agree with Talib it's culture my caribbean friends brotehrs do housework their mum even devised a rota which i think is kool:up:
Zahyrah
06-12-06, 09:01 PM
allhumdulilah my husband helps round the house cooks dinner and never says anyhting like..have u washed my clothes cooked my dinner etc...
Allhumdulilah he is a mercy from Allah to me,
Zahyrah
06-12-06, 09:04 PM
mashaAllaah
i think it has a lot to do with the way 'boys' are brought up...a lot are not ALLOWED by their mothers to do the tiniest bit of housework...esp if they have sisters, and the 'boys' ..Allaah bless them...seem to think everything is clean by magic :rolleyes:
alhamdulilah my dad does a lot of the housework...and we FORCE (:torture: ) my brother to help around the house...inshaAllaah he'll be considerate to his wife and help her around the house when the time comes aswell..and be considerate to her feelings and make her feel special always..its not only about housework..its about being their for your spouse physically and emotionally :)
my sons cook, clean and load the dishwasher, my eldest did a weeks ironing for fun the other day whilst he watched cartoons, honest!!!
dishwasher..what dishwasher i ment washing mashine lol!!!!
ur_yusra
06-12-06, 09:04 PM
lol thats bizaaree..
im gonna annoy my husband like mad:D ooh cant wait:D
I'm gonna make my husband wish he was never born..
Beat that :p
sunrise
06-12-06, 09:05 PM
allhumdulilah my husband helps round the house cooks dinner and never says anyhting like..have u washed my clothes cooked my dinner etc...
Allhumdulilah he is a mercy from Allah to me,
MashAllah MashAllah MashAllah!:inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
May he always be a rahma for you and you for him inshAllah
Sunrise
muslimah06
07-12-06, 12:06 AM
Assalam-ualaikum,
QUOTE:
It is vital for the communication bw the spouses to always be open even if they have some time for themselves (which also can be good as ebony has said) but to go for days or become in a rut of hardly talking or giving only like some pleasantries, is not good at all. You do hear of people who become almost like living parrallel lives in the same house, and they become very lonely.QUOTE.
Yes,one knows the feelings and i ask you all to pray for me. Dh just does not want to talk about things. May Allah ease our situation.
I would just like a mans point of view - preferbally married.
Why the silent treatment when disagreement occurs?? Why cant he get over it? Forgive and forget et all??
I truly worry about the effect it may have on the kids. May Allah prtoect them.
Any advice appreciated and duas too.
Shukran.
Wassalam
Assalam-ualaikum,
QUOTE:
It is vital for the communication bw the spouses to always be open even if they have some time for themselves (which also can be good as ebony has said) but to go for days or become in a rut of hardly talking or giving only like some pleasantries, is not good at all. You do hear of people who become almost like living parrallel lives in the same house, and they become very lonely.QUOTE.
Yes,one knows the feelings and i ask you all to pray for me. Dh just does not want to talk about things. May Allah ease our situation.
I would just like a mans point of view - preferbally married.
Why the silent treatment when disagreement occurs?? Why cant he get over it? Forgive and forget et all??
I truly worry about the effect it may have on the kids. May Allah prtoect them.
Any advice appreciated and duas too.
Shukran.
Wassalam
becaus uve hurt a mans ego.
Well, my wife works longer hours than me and she has a more stressful job, so when we were younger I had to do everything in the house including cooking.
I must say it wasn't always fun, but I think I got pretty good at the cooking part. Except for those couple of times early on when I made us both sick. :o
Well, I'm not married yet. But I do take care of my grandma; I massage her back, tuck her in bed and turn on the radiator for her everynight before getting back to my schoolwork. I even cook for her sometimes, but sometimes she doesn't like my style of cooking - she prefers her old school food. :rolleyes: But of course I'm not perfect and sometimes I forget to do so.
carol_au
07-12-06, 01:12 AM
As the mum of two sons, i've always believed it's part of my role as their mother to ensure that both of them can do their part in the home .. it's my gift to their wives in the future.
My younger son and I cook together, clean together.. not all the time, but enough to make me quite sure that he will make a good husband oneday because of his caring ways. God willing it will be like that.
Lambo5688
07-12-06, 01:25 AM
i help my mom cut the veggies....sometimes. Im the head chef.
sunrise
07-12-06, 08:32 AM
i help my mom cut the veggies....sometimes. Im the head chef.
head of chopping! lol woohoo mashAllah:up:
ibn suleman
07-12-06, 08:52 AM
k i have no issue with housework...cos the Prophet s.a.w helped around the house (hadiths below)
but no where have i seen a hadith where it says he did the cooking, just like its not the wifes duty to do the cooking, its not the husbands either :p but the prophets s.a.w wives did cook :D
The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.), however, used to sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes. (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Sahih al-Jami, 4927).
This was said by his wife Aishah (RA), when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) used to do in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said:
"He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671)
She (RA) was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) used to do in his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 2/162).
sunrise
07-12-06, 09:03 AM
k i have no issue with housework...cos the Prophet s.a.w helped around the house (hadiths below)
but no where have i seen a hadith where it says he did the cooking, just like its not the wifes duty to do the cooking, its not the husbands either :p but the prophets s.a.w wives did cook :D
The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.), however, used to sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes. (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/121; Sahih al-Jami, 4927).
This was said by his wife Aishah (RA), when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) used to do in his house; her response described what she herself had seen. According to another report, she said:
"He was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself." (Reported by Imam Ahmad in al-Musnad, 6/256; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, 671)
She (RA) was also asked about what the Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) used to do in his house, and she said, "He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray." (Reported by al-Bukhari, al-Fath, 2/162).
LOOL well cooking is the fun bit trust me its da housework everyone hates
ibn suleman
07-12-06, 09:41 AM
LOOL well cooking is the fun bit trust me its da housework everyone hates
lool -then why do so many people complain abt it then :scratch:
carol_au
07-12-06, 09:43 AM
lool -then why do so many people complain abt it then :scratch:
I have no idea. but i do agree.. it's the fun part of all the housework that needs doing.. :D
sunrise
07-12-06, 09:46 AM
lool -then why do so many people complain abt it then :scratch:
dunno moany i spose wella ctually maybe because some men want u to make three course meal everyday??
ibn suleman
07-12-06, 09:50 AM
I have no idea. but i do agree.. it's the fun part of all the housework that needs doing.. :D
dunno moany i spose wella ctually maybe because some men want u to make three course meal everyday??
wiat wait wait.....so cooking is fun....yet u lot still complain :smack:
sunrise
07-12-06, 09:53 AM
wiat wait wait.....so cooking is fun....yet u lot still complain :smack:
its no fun..let me re-phrase its tideous just as is housework but its less hassle than housework (actually depending on ur culture golly)
ibn suleman
07-12-06, 09:57 AM
its no fun..let me re-phrase its tideous just as is housework but its less hassle than housework (actually depending on ur culture golly)
:scratch: *confused...*
so no one likes housework and no one likes cooking
carol_au
07-12-06, 09:59 AM
wiat wait wait.....so cooking is fun....yet u lot still complain :smack:
I must be one of a kind then.. I don't complain.. cooking is like art to me.. it's my way of being creative. I love to think up a meal and then to try it out and see my family enjoying it..
As the mum of two sons, i've always believed it's part of my role as their mother to ensure that both of them can do their part in the home .. it's my gift to their wives in the future.
My younger son and I cook together, clean together.. not all the time, but enough to make me quite sure that he will make a good husband oneday because of his caring ways. God willing it will be like that.
absolutely :up: we have to raise up our sons to be real gentlemen who treat their wives and women in general well, so they will grow up to be men who fear Almighty God in regards to women and who take care of them, and who can take care of themselves, and their familys when the need arises, and who are not handicapped by the fact that they cannot cook, sew, wash their clothes or clean up
( or they know how to do it but theyre just plain lazy and so just sit back and use their wife as a slave / housemaid who is on call 24/7 without ever getting a day off :rolleyes: having said that when she gives birth she might get the day off but she still have to go back and clean up 3 days worth of mess, doesnt mean someone else did it for her :rolleyes: )
Ya Allah help us to raise good pious hardworking sons amin
muslim_sis
07-12-06, 05:30 PM
absolutely :up: we have to raise up our sons to be real gentlemen who treat their wives and women in general well, so they will grow up to be men who fear Almighty God in regards to women and who take care of them, and who can take care of themselves, and their familys when the need arises, and who are not handicapped by the fact that they cannot cook, sew, wash their clothes or clean up
( or they know how to do it but theyre just plain lazy and so just sit back and use their wife as a slave / housemaid who is on call 24/7 without ever getting a day off :rolleyes: having said that when she gives birth she might get the day off but she still have to go back and clean up 3 days worth of mess, doesnt mean someone else did it for her :rolleyes: )
Ya Allah help us to raise good pious hardworking sons amin
ameen
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