View Full Version : Muslim Woman Gives Sex Advice on Arab TV
abdulhakeem
04-12-06, 12:19 AM
Sunday December 3, 2006
By NADIA ABOU EL-MAGD
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Heba Kotb is a conservative Muslim, wears an Islamic head scarf, and goes on television once a week to talk - frankly and in great detail - about sex.
On her show, ``Big Talk,'' Kotb answers questions from Muslims all over the Middle East about the most intimate bedroom issues with an openness that is shocking and revolutionary in a society where discussing the subject is taboo.
``How do I talk about these issues? Very seriously,'' the Egyptian sexologist says. ``I put on a mask-like face and make sure I speak in the right tone of voice.''
She also does it by talking about sex in an Islamic light, arguing that the faith is in favor of pleasure for both men and women, with one important caveat - that it be only in the context of marriage.
``I'm very proud of my religion,'' Kotb told The Associated Press in an interview at Cairo University, where she teaches forensic medicine. ``My studies revealed to me more and more how Islam was ahead in all sexual matters ... I discovered that Islam understood sex long before the rest of the world.''
For example, Islam ``stresses the importance of foreplay,'' Kotb said, and she often stresses to listeners that women should also enjoy sex.
Kotb's frankness is a hit in a region where sex education is minimal, male-female contact is often discouraged and talk on the subject is usually in hushed tones, allowing myths to circulate freely.
She lectured in Saudi Arabia and Yemen recently, where she said many men in the audience where shocked, while women - some with veiled faces - bombarded her with questions.
Kotb, 39 and married with three daughters, studied sexology with Maimonides University, a private school in Florida, and combined it with her own knowledge of her religion to produce a dissertation titled ``Sexuality in Islam.'' She opened a sexology clinic in Cairo in 2002, wrote sex advice columns in newspapers, appeared on talk shows and answered questions on an Arabic Web site.
She started ``Big Talk'' on the independent Egyptian satellite channel El-Mehwar more than two months ago.
Much of her advice is straight biology - laying out facts rarely aired elsewhere. Nothing is too sensitive. She discusses sexual positions, female orgasm, oral sex (allowed, ``since there is no religious text banning it''), even masturbation (frowned upon but at least preferable to unmarried or adulterous sex, which is ``haram,'' meaning forbidden by religion).
She takes a strict Islamic line on homosexuality - she calls it a disease.
Along with doctors, she sometimes brings Islamic clerics onto her show, and many callers ask about the religion's rulings on sexual issues.
Because Islam trumps all else on her show, some complain that it's part of a general inclination in the Middle East to view everything through the prism of religion.
``After Islamic banks, Islamic fashion, Islamic TV channels, Islamic hairdressers, Islamic swimsuits, Islamic writers ... now Islamic sex? This is too much,'' protested feminist writer Mona Helmi in a column in the Egyptian pro-government weekly Rose el-Youssef.
``Sex is an emotional and human condition, not a religious or identity issue,'' she said.
Some complain that youngsters are watching the show.
``So now girls and boys have heard all about Heba's talk about sex ... that will let them know more than they should and will get them excited,'' Somia, a housewife, told AP as she watched ``Big Talk,'' too embarrassed to give her full name.
Kotb says frankness is essential and believes 80 percent of divorces in the Arab world are due to sexual problems brought on by ignorance and societal pressure, such as the idea that man must marry a virgin.
``Many women know nothing about their bodies, not to mention sex, and they were raised to believe sex is for men and a dirty thing,'' she says.
She gives sex education courses for unmarried youths with the consent of their parents, but in her consulting practice takes only married couples. She says she is booked up for two months with couples from across the Arab world.
``It's a beautiful thing what she is doing,'' said Abier El-Barbary, a psychotherapist and faculty member of American University in Cairo. ``It's a long overdue topic tastefully done,'' she said.
On The Net: Kotb's Web site, in Arabic, with some English: www.hebakotb.net (http://www.hebakotb.net)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-6256042,00.html
Tax-Man
04-12-06, 12:21 AM
I kind of feel a bit hyprocritical for saying this after I made a recent topic but T.V. that's a bit much it's best suited to have classes.
abdur_Rahmaan
04-12-06, 01:12 AM
bismillaah, walhamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'alaa rasoolulilah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa salaam)...
as to what proceeds:
Allaah says in surah adh-dhariyaat, verse 55 to "remind, for verily the reminding profits the believers."
shaykh al-albaanee, in his book "the etiquettes of marriage" brings forth the prohibition of spreading bedroom secrets. it is as follows:
23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:
First: "Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others].
Second: "On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
Allaah, the Most High knows best.wa subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika; ash-shadu an laa ilaaha illa-Anta; astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.
bismillaah, walhamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'alaa rasoolulilah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa salaam)...
as to what proceeds:
Allaah says in surah adh-dhariyaat, verse 55 to "remind, for verily the reminding profits the believers."
shaykh al-albaanee, in his book "the etiquettes of marriage" brings forth the prohibition of spreading bedroom secrets. it is as follows:
23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:
First: "Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others].
Second: "On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
Allaah, the Most High knows best.wa subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika; ash-shadu an laa ilaaha illa-Anta; astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.
I'm not a Muslim, but it seems to me that the above is discussing gossip, or idle chatter about one's sexual life.
Since Islam was long at the forefront of medical science, and since Islam places such a strong value on marriage and procreation, I can't imagine that all discussion of sexual matters is prohibited.
Men and women should know how each other's bodies work. There's nothing shameful or sinful about anatomy or biology.
I would think this would especially important for men, since Islam places responsibility for the wife's welfare squarely on the husband.
Men should understand how a woman's body works and, moreover, men should know enough to detect possible signs or symptoms of disease. It's not uncommon, for example, for a husband to notice a suspicious lump in his wife's breast before she herself is even aware of it.
bismillaah, walhamdulilaah, was-salaatu was-salaamu 'alaa rasoolulilah (sallAllaahu 'alayhi wa salaam)...
as to what proceeds:
Allaah says in surah adh-dhariyaat, verse 55 to "remind, for verily the reminding profits the believers."
shaykh al-albaanee, in his book "the etiquettes of marriage" brings forth the prohibition of spreading bedroom secrets. it is as follows:
23. The Prohibition of Spreading Bedroom Secrets
It is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. The following two hadith are about this:
First: "Verily among the worst people before Allaah on the Day of Judgement is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets." [Muslim, Ibn Abi Shaiba, Ahmad and others].
Second: "On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated "that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that." Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!" [Ahmad: Hasan or Saheeh due to supports]
Allaah, the Most High knows best.wa subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika; ash-shadu an laa ilaaha illa-Anta; astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk.
Indeed I have to agree with Cashew that this seems to be more along the lines of discussing things by boasting or to demean or embarass one's spouse. I think there is more benefit from someone learning techniques for the pleasure of their spouse from someone that knows what they are doing then from following the traditional methods of listening to their friends boast about things that they have never done and only read in a maxim magazine. IMHO That's worse then an inexperienced couple fumbling around in the dark without a clue.
Sex is a fact of life that insha'allah we will all experience within the Islamic limits. For a man, sex is easy but a woman's POV is much more complicated and our young men need to learn how to make sure that their wives enjoy their conjugal encounters and look forward to them rather then viewing them as a duty that needs to be fulfilled.
I have seen bad relationships with good sex lives but I have never seen a good relationship with a bad sex life
damn moderates....
their stupidity will not go unquestioned...
Strict2TheSunna
04-12-06, 06:07 AM
This is absolutly ridiculous.
Since when did name-calling constitute a valid argument?
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 07:13 PM
Possibly the info which she is giving is correct and educational and all from Islamic stance such as fiqh questions, what is permissable and what is not permissable, correct ettiquette etc BUT it is totally not appropriate for her to go and talk in this way on the television, anyone can tune in and watch... it jst lacks haya in an extreme level to have such a thing :S
Already we have scholars, and people if they have a query can go to them and ask it... including queries of this nature, and they would ask them and get an answer, and does not need to be all over the tv.
Even if she wants to write a book about the correct ettiquette of this in Islam, okay... its a topic which people may need knowledge about, and I think ppl have written such books, or more often a chapter about it within books of marriage. That may be beneficial for people, and also does not involve her sitting in public speaking about these topics with people looking at her face, including men in the audience, i dont know if studio audience or jst at home, but imo that is shameful :S straight face and business like tone of voice of not...
Also to have it on tv, is it really wise? the young children can turn on the tv and they find a women there saying "islam encourages foreplay" n whatever else... they should not know what this means and they dont need to know it until they are becoming in their teenage yrs when they will b soon getting married :S
barodate
04-12-06, 07:17 PM
Heba Kotb is a conservative Muslim, wears an Islamic head scarf,
wow what a conservative. she wears a head scarf! amazing. :rolleyes:
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????????????? :smack:
There is no need for a muslim woman to be so 'frank' inshallah. and this definately crosses the boundry of hayya, far and beyond hayya. Allahu akbar. There is no shyness of such things in Islam, people need to learn, but there are avenues and ways to do it Islamically. A muslim womans modesty should not be comprimised, it should be upheld always.
Totally un-neccessary.
Firstly there is no need for her to be on tv.
Secondly there is no need for her to give advice to men.
Thirdly, if she wants to give such advice, she can give it privately.
Fourthly, she should give advice to women.
Al-Nasser
04-12-06, 08:43 PM
hey hey hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!
HOLD ON!!!
Doctor Heba is NOT one of those "moderate" Muslims
she is a VERY respectful woman
her program is very pontifical and very Islamic.....she clear many STUPID misconceptions in a very respectful and educational style
it is not a cheap program
oh and btw......she is Hijabi
hey hey hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!
HOLD ON!!!
Doctor Heba is NOT one of those "moderate" Muslims
she is a VERY respectful woman
her program is very pontifical and very Islamic.....she clear many STUPID misconceptions in a very respectful and educational style
it is not a cheap program
oh and btw......she is Hijabi
Firstly there is no need for her to be on tv.
Secondly there is no need for her to give advice to men.
Thirdly, if she wants to give such advice, she can give it privately.
Fourthly, she should give advice to women.
:rolleyes:
Ibn Sina
04-12-06, 08:47 PM
So now we got names like "Hijabi"? What happened to Muslim or Muslimah? :rolleyes:
I agree with Sis.Nawar tho.
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 08:50 PM
hey hey hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!
HOLD ON!!!
Doctor Heba is NOT one of those "moderate" Muslims
she is a VERY respectful woman
her program is very pontifical and very Islamic.....she clear many STUPID misconceptions in a very respectful and educational style
it is not a cheap program
oh and btw......she is HijabiHmm but dont u agree it will be better for her to put this info into a book format not TV? I have not seen it but I cnt imagine how she can talk these topics like publically and infront of men without it going accross the boundary of haya?
Doesnt her husband mind that?! I also find it hard how the hubby would accept her to do it?
:confused:
Al-Nasser
04-12-06, 08:51 PM
fifthly read the hadiths narrated by Aisha (ra)
sixthly if she has more knowledge about what she is talking about than men then i absolutely have no problem listening to her
the woman has knowledge and is specialized in this field.....so as long as she is serving Islam (by proving the wrongs of perverted sexual practices) then she is more than welcome
in her program she define sex from an excellent Islamic prespective unlike the others do
Seventhly :D ....there are men who can deal with the men alhumdulillah. She isnt the only person in the whole world who knows about such issues. Therefore there is no need for her to be in such a position on tv. Exactly as sis anna mentioned, what about her husband? what about her children??? Subhanallah.
We dont need tv programs about such things. When people have a question or problem, they go to a person of knowledge or a book. Not tune in to a weekly show presented by a sister :rolleyes:
Nusayba
04-12-06, 08:57 PM
~coughs~ so uncalled for...I agree with Nawar:embar:
Al-Nasser
04-12-06, 08:59 PM
the people in the Arab world don't read as much as you think..........for every 10 hours watching TV they spend less than five minutes reading
so this is the medium which should be used to reach the Muslim Arab population
it has been about two years since her start now and i didn't see any condemnation of her...instead she was praised by many scholars
maybe its because you guys didn't see how she talk about this stuff.......she is very professional....and Islamic :up:
ur_yusra
04-12-06, 09:04 PM
Seventhly :D ....there are men who can deal with the men alhumdulillah. She isnt the only person in the whole world who knows about such issues. Therefore there is no need for her to be in such a position on tv. Exactly as sis anna mentioned, what about her husband? what about her children??? Subhanallah.
We dont need tv programs about such things. When people have a question or problem, they go to a person of knowledge or a book. Not tune in to a weekly show presented by a sister :rolleyes:
If she wants to give some sort of lessons she can write a book or hold classes just for women. No need to come on TV full stop.
Mr_Jailer
04-12-06, 09:07 PM
If she wants to give some sort of lessons she can write a book or hold classes just for women. No need to come on TV full stop.
Yes, I agree... but where are these classes for bro's held?
the people in the Arab world don't read as much as you think..........for every 10 hours watching TV they spend less than five minutes reading
so this is the medium which should be used to reach the Muslim Arab population
it has been about two years since her start now and i didn't see any condemnation of her...instead she was praised by many scholars
maybe its because you guys didn't see how she talk about this stuff.......she is very professional....and Islamic :up:
Just because there is a problem with the muslim arab population, doesnt mean its ok for a muslim woman to go on tv and talk so frankly about such issues. If there is a problem, then they evidently need more shows on general Islaam, then the specifics on the intimate relationship between a man and a woman.
How exactly does she give advice, without people revealing intimate details about their relationship, which is not allowed??? and is she a scholar??
Simply put, there is no need.
Seventhly :D ....there are men who can deal with the men alhumdulillah. She isnt the only person in the whole world who knows about such issues. Therefore there is no need for her to be in such a position on tv. Exactly as sis anna mentioned, what about her husband? what about her children??? Subhanallah.
We dont need tv programs about such things. When people have a question or problem, they go to a person of knowledge or a book. Not tune in to a weekly show presented by a sister :rolleyes:
maybe the problem is that the men are not addressing these issues?
maybe if the men addressed these issues, there would be no need for her to go on tv.
ur_yusra
04-12-06, 09:17 PM
Yes, I agree... but where are these classes for bro's held?
Brothers can teach brothers khalas.
Nusayba
04-12-06, 09:19 PM
i agree with yusra also.....:mujahida:
Umm 'Umarah
04-12-06, 09:20 PM
Firstly there is no need for her to be on tv.
Secondly there is no need for her to give advice to men.
Thirdly, if she wants to give such advice, she can give it privately.
Fourthly, she should give advice to women.
:rolleyes:
Precisely....what an immodest thing to do.
nothing more to be said on this issue..
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 09:21 PM
yeah if they have a need for it on tv it is more modest for a man to do it right? my personal opinon neway
muslimah85
04-12-06, 09:25 PM
Mashallah I think the program is a fantastic one :up: much needed. Insha'Allah i hope it goes on to do Well. My eygyptian friend mentioned this to me a long while ago and I read journal article in the economist about it last year.
A lot of people have been inspired by the program. She has managed to capture a audience that was very hard to relate to, she has drawn the empahsis of sex within marriage and the beauty of a relationship within islam and the rights bestowed upon both spouses. She does not speak suggestivly or candidly and offer 'tips' and postions etc as we see in the west. Instead she details the rights/obligations etc and has opended many peoples eyes to a lot of important issues. Subhan'Allah some men were not even aware of their wives rights within the bedroom!? :scratch:
So what if the presenters a woman what i sthe problem with this. She observes hijaab, she is modest. The issue and topic she is discussing is NOT taboo or haraam it is a important and much needed one. NOT eveyone can read or has access to a scholar, may are illiterate.
Did Aisha(ra) not educate the men . There is no shyness in knowledge.. Not all men can talk and address such issues confidently, sometimes things are beteer coming from a woman. How is she loosing her Hayaa by talking about a important tpoic. Are we not all adults. Or will be giggle and laugh whilst watching her dicsuss sex?
Those who argue she should not be on tv- We've had that discussion get over it. If thats what you believe fine, but thats YOUR opinion and scholars agree woman can go on tv.
I wish her every success
muslimah85
04-12-06, 09:26 PM
duplicate
ur_yusra
04-12-06, 09:32 PM
Mashallah I think the program is a fantastic one :up: much needed. Insha'Allah i hope it goes on to do Well. My eygyptian friend mentioned this to me a long while ago and I read journal article in the economist about it last year.
A lot of people have been inspired by the program. She has managed to capture a audience that was very hard to relate to, she has drawn the empahsis of sex within marriage and the beauty of a relationship within islam and the rights bestowed upon both spouses. She does not speak suggestivly or candidly and offer 'tips' and postions etc as we see in the west. Instead she details the rights/obligations etc and has opended many peoples eyes to a lot of important issues. Subhan'Allah some men were not even aware of their wives rights within the bedroom!? :scratch:
So what if the presenters a woman what i sthe problem with this. She observes hijaab, she is modest. The issue and topic she is discussing is NOT taboo or haraam it is a important and much needed one. NOT eveyone can read or has access to a scholar, may are illiterate.
Did Aisha(ra) not educate the men . There is no shyness in knowledge.. Not all men can talk and address such issues confidently, sometimes things are beteer coming from a woman. How is she loosing her Hayaa by talking about a important tpoic. Are we not all adults. Or will be giggle and laugh whilst watching her dicsuss sex?
Those who argue she should not be on tv- We've had that discussion get over it. If thats what you believe fine, but thats YOUR opinion and scholars agree woman can go on tv.
I wish her every success
I see your opinion and I understand what you are saying.
If she has to come on T.V then I hope that the least she does is cover her face like Aaisha (RA) since you mentioned her example.. the women scholars taught behind a screen, and I don't mean a television screen.
Nusayba
04-12-06, 09:36 PM
m85 nicely put sis..I still didn't see her speak, so I thought she was way too open if you know what I mean.
MashaAllah nice reply tho..:up:
Aisha (ra) did educate men, but she used to talk to them behind a curtain, and put a finger in her mouth to disguise her voice, because she had a pretty voice and she was young.
Just add to the discussion:)
Umm 'Umarah
04-12-06, 09:48 PM
during the time of Aisha(R.A) she was the wife of our Prophet :saw:
knowledge was limited back then.. and nobody knew the sunnah better than she did.
she was the only strong source of knowledge.
I hate it the way people take this out of context and use this as an example.
she was a women of great Wisdom and Taqwa...not someone to be compared to the women of today.
over the years the Ulamah have grown in number....there are now enough Ulamah to educate the males on such delicate matters...no need for Muslimah's to do such a thing
Mashallah I think the program is a fantastic one :up: much needed. Insha'Allah i hope it goes on to do Well. My eygyptian friend mentioned this to me a long while ago and I read journal article in the economist about it last year.
A lot of people have been inspired by the program. She has managed to capture a audience that was very hard to relate to, she has drawn the empahsis of sex within marriage and the beauty of a relationship within islam and the rights bestowed upon both spouses. She does not speak suggestivly or candidly and offer 'tips' and postions etc as we see in the west. Instead she details the rights/obligations etc and has opended many peoples eyes to a lot of important issues. Subhan'Allah some men were not even aware of their wives rights within the bedroom!? :scratch:
So what if the presenters a woman what i sthe problem with this. She observes hijaab, she is modest. The issue and topic she is discussing is NOT taboo or haraam it is a important and much needed one. NOT eveyone can read or has access to a scholar, may are illiterate.
Did Aisha(ra) not educate the men . There is no shyness in knowledge.. Not all men can talk and address such issues confidently, sometimes things are beteer coming from a woman. How is she loosing her Hayaa by talking about a important tpoic. Are we not all adults. Or will be giggle and laugh whilst watching her dicsuss sex?
Those who argue she should not be on tv- We've had that discussion get over it. If thats what you believe fine, but thats YOUR opinion and scholars agree woman can go on tv.
I wish her every success
modesty? men viewing..did that not occure to u?
muslimah85
04-12-06, 09:52 PM
modesty? men viewing..did that not occure to u?
daaaym those men must not live in the real world :eek:
they musnt see women day in day out or come into contact with them in daily life. Jee :scratch:
Maybe that did not occur to you?
Theres nothing to 'get over'. This discussion isnt about being on tv. Its about being on tv discussing sensitive issues.
Men have access to the knowledge elsewhere. From men. So that argument doesnt really stand. Aisha (rdn) was giving knowledge at a time where she was the best person to attain the knowledge of Islam from, being the narrater or many ahadith etc etc. Further to this, such learning was private, among few people. Not in public, on a weekly show, being tune in to on tv regularly.
There is no shyness in learning, when you have a question, ask it of the people of knowledge. There is no need for such shows.
And can someone who has watched the show answer my question. How does she give advice without people revealing their personal problems???
People, if anyone has a problem with it, email the TV show producers.
daaaym those men must not live in the real world :eek:
they musnt see women day in day out or come into contact with them in daily life. Jee :sctract:
Maybe that did not occur to you?
oh it did.
tv is haram..we shud have accepted that already.
but then women come on to give sex advice is totally biazaare.
i wonder what Muhammad SAW would have to say..
(by the way please dont take anything personally:) )
People, if anyone has a problem with it, email the TV show producers.
heyyy theres an idea...
we should do that with evrything :D
heyyy theres an idea...
we should do that with evrything :D
Well if they supply an email address, why not, beats harping about it on here :1popcorn: < have some binty :D
ur_yusra
04-12-06, 09:56 PM
daaaym those men must not live in the real world :eek:
they musnt see women day in day out or come into contact with them in daily life. Jee :scratch:
Maybe that did not occur to you?
Yeh I mean these men see hijabis talking about bedroom related matters all the time. Nothing new :rolleyes:
Also you quoted the example of Aaisha (RA) so do you stand by the fact that the women should teach behind a screen where her face is not viewed?
hey hey hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!
HOLD ON!!!
Doctor Heba is NOT one of those "moderate" Muslims
she is a VERY respectful woman
her program is very pontifical and very Islamic.....she clear many STUPID misconceptions in a very respectful and educational style
it is not a cheap program
oh and btw......she is Hijabi
she can earn the rewards from allah(sw)helping muslim sisters in need,i think the sex issue is the last of our worries.
Well if they supply an email address, why not, beats harping about it on here :1popcorn: < have some binty :D
oooo tank u tank u wery much. wheres eman?
i like harpin ebony..lemme unwinddd *sighs*:D
heyyy theres an idea...
we should do that with evrything :D
:rotfl:
Indeed. People harp about all sorts on this forum :D
:rotfl:
Indeed. People harp about all sorts on this forum :D
aye n me about me erm...ahem lets not go there :p
* About Egyptian women approaching scholars...
I believe it would extremely difficult for a pious Egyptian woman to approach anyone, much less a male scholar, with questions about human sexuality and reproduction.
* She should write a book instead...
Please consider the literacy levels among the Arabic-speaking masses. Please consider how personally difficult it might be for a pious Egyptian woman to go into a bookstore and purchase such a book.
* Men should teach other men...
Given the realities of the male ego, particularly the Middle Eastern male ego, I don't think that many Egyptian men would care to admit to anyone, especially another man, that they needed to learn about human sexuality and human anatomy.
* She should give classes to women...
Once again, please consider the conditions of working-class life for pious Egyptian women. I don't think many have the time to attend such a class. I think that many, if not most, would be too shy to attend such a class. This TV program answers questions that many Egyptian women are too shy to ask outloud.
Since many of you are young and, thank God, very healthy, you may not realize that much of what we call "sex education" is actually health education. People need to learn how their bodies work. They need to learn how to look for signs and symptoms of possible disease. (As I said earlier, it's not uncommon for a husband to identify a suspicious lump in his wife's breast.)
A healthy sex life -- emphasis on healthy -- is crucial to a normal, happy, life-long marriage.
The point of making and submitting constructive criticisms (w/o having watched the programme yourself - so thereby reaching a conclusion without investigating it properly - lazyness) is so that those who have the necessary means to change the format of the show (commonly known as TV producers/directors) can take the advice on board. Complaining about it here won't make any changes whatsoever. So might as well save your rants for an email :up:
Theres something that comes on Qtv - an Islam Q&A type programme. The only person on that who you can see is the host - he passes the Qs to the Imam (who is generally out of view, and only a voice can be heard - have no idea why he's out of view).
So there's a suggestion to put forward.
The first post is an article, and this is a forum. Discussing is also not 'ranting'.
The article details things the presenter says in her shows, and outlines what the show entails.
This is enough to be able to pass comment on it, and theres nothing wrong with that. Many a time, articles and shows have been discussed on this forum. Ofourse active steps can be taken if people wish, to contact the producers of the show inshallah.
The first post is an article, and this is a forum. Discussing is also not 'ranting'.
The article details things the presenter says in her shows, and outlines what the show entails.
This is enough to be able to pass comment on it, and theres nothing wrong with that. Many a time, articles and shows have been discussed on this forum. Ofourse active steps can be taken if people wish, to contact the producers of the show inshallah.
exactly what i was thinking man.:torture:
The whole point of commenting on something, other than having a discussion/debate, is to see some sort of change. So the most obvious way a change of some sort, in this case, may come by is to make those who are broadcasting/producing these programmes aware of what the problem is.
:1popcorn:
Im still wondering why the Imam in that Qtv programme is out of view :scratch:
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 10:34 PM
well we have a thread on it, so it is a topic to be discussed.
I think the idea of jst having the voice not the face would be an improvement...
but also like why cnt her husband just do the show? if she has that amount of knowledge on this topic he shud have the same or else she can tell him... then they cn do it with jst his voice instead of hers, which would maybe more modest.
yes cashew i suppose they are valid points, that ppl will mayb b prevented from buying the books bc of shyness... possibly they dnt all hav internet so they cnt order it online, so perhaps tv is the more effective medium to reach people.
its also true that ppls misconceptions n stuff need 2 b removed, as m85 said some men may not know the rights of wife n stuff n that is serious matter and wrong. But could not the same result b achieved with a man doing the show or else for the lady 2 cover her face for the show, and then if she dnt want 2 wear niqaab in her life then okay, but jst for the show mayb it wd shield her modesty more? n do like a bit voice distortion or something, then she can do it anonymously?
Good points there sis anna mashallah :up:
Medievalist
04-12-06, 10:42 PM
Modesty is such a beautiful thing. Dont know why people are even bothering about this woman - deserves a slap. (and thats my colloquial english yeh, no need for the feminist brigade to jump up and down and take it literally :rolleyes: )
Thats not colloquial english.
Thats just your usual irrelevant nonsense.
Al-Irhaab
04-12-06, 10:45 PM
Modesty is such a beautiful thing. Dont know why people are even bothering about this woman - deserves a slap. (and thats my colloquial english yeh, no need for the feminist brigade to jump up and down and take it literally :rolleyes: )
i blame the husband.... who would let their wife talk on tv in front of men like that...
Medievalist
04-12-06, 10:50 PM
Thats not colloquial english.
Thats just your usual irrelevant nonsense.
Do u even know what colloquial english is?
and Al-Irhaab bruv - I know. Dunno what kinda man would allow that to happen :rubeyes:
Khubaib
04-12-06, 10:54 PM
We shouldn't be surprised at this latest development. Arab TV is garbage. As long as anger is directed towards Israel and not the society/government we will continue to take a beating.
Al-Saeed Abdi
04-12-06, 10:56 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
I think it's probably more to do with cultural sensitivities. I can see it being frowned upon by Muslims from South Asia, but then again they could well just put it on day time television, which is mostly viewed by Women and Younger men. I can only recognise Al-Nasser as an Arab opinion in this thread, there might be others but I don't know of them, and it does seem like it isn't an issue for him, and if he's anything to go by then it might not be an issue culturally for Arabs in general.
Personally I wouldn't approve of my wife doing such a thing, but then again if she was a scholar then who am I to say no. Saying that, I don't know the credentials of this particular person.
Ma'aSalaama
Al-Nasser
04-12-06, 10:57 PM
I don't know the credentials of this particular person.
phd on sexuality in Islam
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 11:02 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
I think it's probably more to do with cultural sensitivities. I can see it being frowned upon by Muslims from South Asia, but then again they could well just put it on day time television, which is mostly viewed by Women and Younger men. I can only recognise Al-Nasser as an Arab opinion in this thread, there might be others but I don't know of them, and it does seem like it isn't an issue for him, and if he's anything to do by then it might not be an issue culturally for Arabs in general.
Personally I wouldn't approve of my wife doing such a thing, but then again if she was a scholar then who am I to say no. Saying that, I don't know the credentials of this particular person.
Ma'aSalaamaday time is also wen children are awake and could watch it? i wouldnt want my young children to come accross it...
Al-Nasser
04-12-06, 11:04 PM
it's only aired after midnight
Al-Saeed Abdi
04-12-06, 11:07 PM
phd on sexuality in IslamWell than, I can't imagine anyone of us telling our wifes to go and sit silently in the corner if she's armed with one of these.day time is also wen children are awake and could watch it? i wouldnt want my young children to come accross it...But honestly that has nothing to do with her, or the TV Channel for that matter. Here, it is my opinion, where the onus should be put onto the parent. It is the parents responsibility to raise the child to how they see it. That might mean to prevent them from watching such shows as this, and Neighbours, Home and Away and even the internet. Personally I don't think children should be allowed to watch TV without parental supervision anyways.
Ma'aSalaama
Al-Saeed Abdi
04-12-06, 11:11 PM
it's only aired after midnightThat does seem very inconvenient to say the least, one would have to go out there way to watch a program that late at night.
Ma'aSalaama
Umm 'Umarah
04-12-06, 11:15 PM
how can a God fearing women cross the boundaries of Hayaa to discuss this topic with members of the opposite gender...onTV aswell.
this is absurd..what is the Ummah coming to??...how can you people not see the wrong in this
how can a God fearing women cross the boundaries of Hayaa to discuss this topic with members of the opposite gender...onTV aswell.
this is absurd..what is the Ummah coming to??...how can you people not see the wrong in this
cos they cant accept it. simple. in denial.may Allah save us all.:rubeyes:
.: Anna :.
04-12-06, 11:23 PM
Well than, I can't imagine anyone of us telling our wifes to go and sit silently in the corner if she's armed with one of these.But honestly that has nothing to do with her, or the TV Channel for that matter. Here, it is my opinion, where the onus should be put onto the parent. It is the parents responsibility to raise the child to how they see it. That might mean to prevent them from watching such shows as this, and Neighbours, Home and Away and even the internet. Personally I don't think children should be allowed to watch TV without parental supervision anyways.
Ma'aSalaamaBut the parents can not have their eye on the child 100% of all the time, they could see wrong things in other peoples house aswell like relatives house?
I agree they have the major responsibilty though but still
Modesty is one thing but with the ignorance of the masses on the subject of sexuality in western nations where literacy is high is a problem that needs to be addressed in way that will reach people. Writing a book has been done hundreds of times and that has done nothing to address the issue IMHO. In countries where the literacy rate is lower, I applaud any effort to educate people in ways to improve their lives.
Aisha indeed hid behind a curtain when she talked to men because she was young and beautiful. This woman has no need for that kind of protection because the people she is talking to aren't 3 feet away.
I would also ask the young men here, when was the last time that you asked your father or Imam what it takes to make sex enjoyable for a woman? My hunch is that the vast majority would say that they haven't.
What this woman is doing takes courage. She isn't a harlot, nor is she doing anything disgraceful. In a world where people might be too ashamed to ask questions, it's easy for them to turn on the TV and LEARN. I would rather they learn this way then from watching internet porn, which is sadly, the limit of sex education for many of our young men.
Nusayba
05-12-06, 12:10 AM
interesting teoma:)
Modesty is one thing but with the ignorance of the masses on the subject of sexuality in western nations where literacy is high is a problem that needs to be addressed in way that will reach people. Writing a book has been done hundreds of times and that has done nothing to address the issue IMHO. In countries where the literacy rate is lower, I applaud any effort to educate people in ways to improve their lives.
Aisha indeed hid behind a curtain when she talked to men because she was young and beautiful. This woman has no need for that kind of protection because the people she is talking to aren't 3 feet away.
I would also ask the young men here, when was the last time that you asked your father or Imam what it takes to make sex enjoyable for a woman? My hunch is that the vast majority would say that they haven't.
What this woman is doing takes courage. She isn't a harlot, nor is she doing anything disgraceful. In a world where people might be too ashamed to ask questions, it's easy for them to turn on the TV and LEARN. I would rather they learn this way then from watching internet porn, which is sadly, the limit of sex education for many of our young men.
You raise some valid points akhee.
But the solution to someone who is tempted by pornography is not to be educated in the pedantics of such issues via a tv show. It is a deeper issue of their nafs and desire that requires addressing.
There are indeed other avenues for people to learn from and we should exhaust them. Brothers shouldnt be ashamed to approach their local shaykh. Sisters can approach such sisters. We ask questions on the things we need to know. But there are limits. And a sister talking about the intimate ins and outs of the relationship between men and women on tv, is IMO, crossing them.
Maybe this is the problem all this ultimately highlights- the ummahs need for MORE knowledgable people in our community, so our youth, our brothers and sisters, dont have to resort to watching female muslim sexologists on tv shows.
Wa Allahu alim.
Medievalist
05-12-06, 01:07 AM
People have misunderstood. There is no modesty in regards to religious laws.
But having such discussions has an etiquette. Sayyidina Ali radhiyallahu anh asked another to pose his question to Nabi salallahu alayhi wa sallam due to his modesty; the Sahabiyah radhiyallahu anha with her specific problem asked another of the Believing Ladies to ask on her behalf. We also learn that the religion has taught what is necessary in regards to these matters - we are told openly about the necessary ghusl, about what is halal in this private affair and what not.
And the arguement of lack of knowledge. Im sorry but I dont buy it. Look how mashaALLAH our community has so many people in it - these things dont just happen. This in my view is a western concept that people discuss how to gain maximum pleasure in their private life and share tips and ask for advice.
Advice should be sought in regards to the religious rules and fiqah - not for titillation. If its a matter of increasing the enjoyment in a halal way then that is for the husband and wife to discover - this completely jahil concept of asking randoms on how to do x,y,z is utterly shameless.
When studying Bukhari Shareef - the ulama even explain the best way for a man to have relations to concieve a child. This is how detailed our deen is about the necessities of life - yet this necessary knowledge is different to sex tips :mad: :mad: that appear to be dished out.
People might aswell tell couples to go and buy filthy manuals about these things - just sticking Islam and Muslim with a book doesnt necessarily make it an epitome of modesty and bashfulness.
Will anyone answer my question? How many here have gone to their Imam for sex advice?
Emelianenko
05-12-06, 02:12 AM
Will anyone answer my question? How many here have gone to their Imam for sex advice?
Me :D
Me :D
LOL Oh yeah...you would :p
Med says,
"...When studying Bukhari Shareef - the ulama even explain the best way for a man to have relations to concieve a child. This is how detailed our deen is about the necessities of life. ..."
I'm surprised that you don't see the rather obvious contradiction in this statement.
If respected Islamic texts discuss in detail intimate relations between man and wife, then how can such matters be judged obscene?
Let's look at something else that's interesting in this thread, something that someone above noticed:
I don't think anyone would judge Al-Nasser to be a wild-eyed modernist in love with bidah, "liberal" Islam, or feminism. And yet Al-Nasser, an Arabic speaker, seems to feel this program is within the bounds of Islamic modesty and has merit.
It seems that our Asian participants, those from India and Pakistan, seem the most displeased.
From what I've gathered, Hindu culture is extremely puritanical. (Aren't those Hindu radicals always burning down card shops on Valentine's Day?)
And I know that orthodox Hindus are very, very conservative when it comes to sexual matters.
I wonder if the views of our Asian participants may not reflect a cultural bias.
Nusayba
05-12-06, 07:47 PM
It seems that our Asian participants, those from India and Pakistan, seem the most displeased.
Who said I'm from asia, or pakistani or indian?:eek:I'm not mate;):
Umm 'Umarah
05-12-06, 07:54 PM
It seems that our Asian participants, those from India and Pakistan, seem the most displeased.
Most of the contributors here consider themselves Muslim.
some of us arent so nationalistic either.
nationality has nothing to do with peoples views on what is Haq what is fitna..it is what is in accordance with the teachings of Islam
thats a very big generalisation you make there.
Originally Posted by abdur_Rahmaan
On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that."
Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!"
End of.
Umm 'Umarah
05-12-06, 10:25 PM
Modesty is one thing but with the ignorance of the masses on the subject of sexuality in western nations where literacy is high is a problem that needs to be addressed in way that will reach people.
erm...we're talking about arab TV here...
and Modesty is very important for a Muslim.. those who have no shame have no imaan. please take time to read up on the importance of Modesty.
Writing a book has been done hundreds of times and that has done nothing to address the issue IMHO. In countries where the literacy rate is lower, I applaud any effort to educate people in ways to improve their lives.
the issue here is not about educating, its about educating in the correct manner of educating within the guidelines of Islam.
Aisha indeed hid behind a curtain when she talked to men because she was young and beautiful. This woman has no need for that kind of protection because the people she is talking to aren't 3 feet away.
please do not use Hadhrat Aisha(r.a) as an example to compare her with an issue such as this one.
I would also ask the young men here, when was the last time that you asked your father or Imam what it takes to make sex enjoyable for a woman?
I'm sorry but that is not a very wise comment u make there... what is "enjoyable" in a couples relationship is nobodies business but their own
marriage is between the husband and wife only...these are the etiquettes of marriage.
My hunch is that the vast majority would say that they haven't.
What this woman is doing takes courage. She isn't a harlot, nor is she doing anything disgraceful. In a world where people might be too ashamed to ask questions, it's easy for them to turn on the TV and LEARN. I would rather they learn this way then from watching internet porn, which is sadly, the limit of sex education for many of our young men.
going to such immodest lengths to educate people is our of order..certainly not something to be encouraged
reproduction etc etc has taken place over the centuries...without this sort of fitna.
the hadith posted above more or less sums up whats to be adhered to
Insha'Allah if those of us here...take note.. and contemplate.
Khubaib
05-12-06, 10:28 PM
The computer says: You must spread reputation around before giving it to Kamilah again.
Umm 'Umarah
05-12-06, 10:37 PM
The computer says: You must spread reputation around before giving it to Kamilah again.
it's okay akhi, just stick to the Haq...Insha'Allah...:up:
erm...we're talking about arab TV here...
That's right...and as someone else posted earlier in the thread, most Saudis would rather watch tv then read a book. The literacy rate there is just over 75% so writing it down excludes almost 1 in 4 from the info
and Modesty is very important for a Muslim.. those who have no shame have no imaan. please take time to read up on the importance of Modesty.
I agree...so have you asked your Imam about your sex life?
the issue here is not about educating, its about educating in the correct manner of educating within the guidelines of Islam.
well apparently several scholars, as Al Nasser pointed out, have applauded her efforts. Are you saying that you know more on the subject then they?
please do not use Hadhrat Aisha(r.a) as an example to compare her with an issue such as this one.
why not? Are we not supposed to use the hadeeths to figure out what is and isn't allowable? Why would Aisha(RA) be allowed to talk to men...she could have written a book instead or found someone else to write it as she related it. No, she talked about it.
I'm sorry but that is not a very wise comment u make there... what is "enjoyable" in a couples relationship is nobodies business but their own
marriage is between the husband and wife only...these are the etiquettes of marriage.
This is true but just out of curiosity, do you know what the divorce rate is among this generation of muslims? Why were men coming to Aisha for advice if this was the case in the time of the Sahaba?
the hadith posted above more or less sums up whats to be adhered to
Insha'Allah if those of us here...take note.. and contemplate.
Is this the one you refer too?
On the authority of Asmaa bint Yazid who narrated that she was once in the presence of the Prophet and there were both men and women sitting. The Prophet then said: "Perhaps a man might discuss what he does with his wife, or perhaps a woman might inform someone what she did with her husband?" The people were silent. Then I said: "O, Yes! O Messenger of Allaah verily both the women and men do that."
Then the Prophet said: "Do not do that. It is like a male shaitaan who meets a female shaitaan along the way, and has sex with her while the people look on!"
This Hadeeth is not applicable IMHO because the prophet(RA) was talking about people gossiping amongst themselves about their sex lives. There's a huge difference between talking to your mates about your spouse and approaching a scholar on the subject. Besides, as far as I know, Mrs Kotba is not discussing particular cases but rather dealing in clinical and Islamic aspects of sexuality
Akhee I really dont think the example of Aisha (rdn) is comparable to this.
We ask what we need to know, and we ask of the people of knowledge. Firstly, this muslim woman is not a scholar. That is a fundemental problem. You cant advise people with rulings and evidence, when you dont have the knowledge. She may have done a phd in whatever, makes no difference to the fact that you cant give Islamic advice without Islamic knowledge.
Secondly a regular public tv show cannot be compared to learning in gatherings with people of knowledge, especially about such sensitive intimate issues. Inevitably, one way maintains hayya, the other does not.
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 11:26 AM
here is her photo
http://www.elmehwar.tv/jpg/hepa.jpg
and for Arabic readers here is an excellent interview with her in Al-Dostor Islamic website
http://www.al-dostor.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=779
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 11:38 AM
and a general advice to you people......don't judge that anything is haram until you are 100% sure....
"And speak not, concerning that which your own tongues qualify (as clean or unclean), the falsehood: "This is lawful, and this is forbidden," so that ye invent a lie against Allah. Lo! those who invent a lie against Allah will not succeed."
16:116
Imam Al Ezz Ibn Abd Al Salam (the mentor of Qutuz) said that if using sharia law will cause fitnah then the Muslim shouldn't do it
you people are seriously kidding
when a modest woman possessing great knowledge come on TV to clear the unislamic conceptions very respectfully about one of the most important human functions you reject it angrily......you just want people to stick to the regular sources of knowledge....porn movies and myths? got any alternatives??.....i mean..realistic and working alternatives?
what she is doing is that she is saving marriages...improving the quality of marriages.........and this is a great benefit
u dont need to go on telly to teach sex education.
it is the responsibility of the parents ..
if they are curious then ask..there are many female scholars about..just open ure eyes..
sex education should be sought with modesty, hayaa, not to publicise.
'imagine myslef saying to my dad,,dad i need sex education, im just going to watch that for a bit yeah?'
get real people n stop kiddin ureself.
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 12:10 PM
no one ask the parents.......what type of people ask their parents about this stuff?
and no married person would talk to his parents about his private problems too
the best solution is listening to the advises from someone who is very qualified and trusted on TV....no personal contact...no embarrassment......
Dont try and silence people from presenting a view or having a discussion, just because its different to what you 'like' or perceive is correct. Its irresponsible to start accusing people by passing ayahs from the Qur'aan. The only person reacting angrily here is you.
Saving marriages by talking about the in ands outs of a sexual relationship on a tv show??? Give me a break.
Extreme measures for extreme times.
When Sayyidena Umar RA went to see Caesar and one of his advisors told him that would it not be better if he wore something that would highlight his status. He went into tears and said "a azanallahu bil islam" "Allah gave us respect by way of Islam". Meaning Allah does not give a person anything by way of dunya other than dunya itself. We all know that the dunya is short lived, as Allah Ta Aala mentions in the Holy Quran, "Mata udunya qaleel".
After the fall of the Islamic Khilaf, Egypt has been the front by which Muslims have been bombarded by foreign culture. This goes back nearly 100 years now. Therefore allot of the core values from those societies have fallen out and been replaced. Thus allot of the general populace want to be Muslim, they want to do good, they want to address the issues we are facing. But because those small intricate details of the Islamic life has been challenged and faded out, they do it in ways that do not have precedence in Islamic history.
The sister is addressing proper core issues, issues that are causing allot of fitnah in the Mid East, especially since the introduction of satellite TV, where the women who are at home all day, get beamed with American and European movies which are mostly MA or R rated. Allot questions arise in their minds that need to be settled. Therefore there is need to define sexuality to the masses by way of Quran and Sunnah. This will save allot of these women and men from practicing what is Haram.
However her method is not right, it is lacking Haya, and though there is no Haya in discussing deen, there is haya in who you discuss it with. Returning to the Quote of Sayyidena Umar RA, anything other than Islam, will not bring us as individuals and as a nation, any respect. Therefore unless she brings it all within the frame work of the proper methodology of Islamic dawah, then she will only create problems for herself and others.
Al nasser, have you seen the show?
how intimate is the advice on sex?
no one ask the parents.......what type of people ask their parents about this stuff?
and no married person would talk to his parents about his private problems too
the best solution is listening to the advises from someone who is very qualified and trusted on TV....no personal contact...no embarrassment......
each to their own.
my view i stik with mine..
u contradict ureself..
embarassement? haya? both along the same lines hey?
okay u say that saves u from embarrassement..
i know parents who have taught their kids all they need to know..but then u dont go teach em too much so they ideas in to their head.
okay..dont go to ure parents..but there are both male n female scholars that wil not laugh or ridicule a person..they will support..
and on a nother note if u guys (for males) want to talk to someone about stuff like this..i know a great imam that does stuff like this..and he is wikd...:up:
hayaa is the key brother..haya is half of iman. and yes haya does play a part... MAJOR ROLE..
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 12:19 PM
just because its different to what you 'like'
no....because it is based on misinformation........ignorance about the nature of what this woman is doing
Its irresponsible to start accusing people by passing ayahs from the Qur'aan.
i didn't accuse anyone........it was a warning
saving marriages by talking about the in ands outs of a sexual relationship on a tv show??? Give me a break.
yes saving marriages......there is marriages falling apart because of this problem....the number is bigger than what you would ever imagine
and tell me what if a couple have this problem??.....should they consult a doctor??....male doctor or female doctor??.....and wouldn't it be "haram" if they talked to the doctor about the private details?
the alternative is staying idle.....doing nothing about the problem
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 12:22 PM
Al nasser, have you seen the show?
how intimate is the advice on sex?
yes i saw it
it's mainly about clearing misconceptions
about the first night and all the disastrous misconceptions people are taught about it
about the vices of masturbation
the vices of homosexuality
husband's right and wife's rights
sexual diseases
psychological problems which effect the level of intimacy
etc etc
during the sahabas time, how did their marriages survive?
becuase the PERSONALLY sought education on matters from the scholars n namely Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wassalam, and ayesha radhillahu anha, how did they survive without the techy we have today?
thats another point of concern..think of it.
muslimah85
06-12-06, 12:25 PM
yes i saw it
it's mainly about clearing misconceptions
about the first night and all the disastrous misconceptions people are taught about it
about the vices of masturbation
the vices of homosexuality
husband's right and wife's rights
sexual diseases
psychological problems which effect the level of intimacy
etc etc
:up: Excellent. Inshallah may her good work prosper
The sister is addressing proper core issues, issues that are causing allot of fitnah in the Mid East, especially since the introduction of satellite TV, where the women who are at home all day, get beamed with American and European movies which are mostly MA or R rated. Allot questions arise in their minds that need to be settled. Therefore there is need to define sexuality to the masses by way of Quran and Sunnah. This will save allot of these women and men from practicing what is Haram.
However her method is not right, it is lacking Haya, and though there is no Haya in discussing deen, there is haya in who you discuss it with. Returning to the Quote of Sayyidena Umar RA, anything other than Islam, will not bring us as individuals and as a nation, any respect. Therefore unless she brings it all within the frame work of the proper methodology of Islamic dawah, then she will only create problems for herself and others.
The only fitnah, is the fact that the ummah seems to have lost its shame.
People are ok with talking to a woman, who is not a scholar, about their intimate problems. Anonymous or not, keep it to yourself. She is ok with answering them with daleel from I dont know where, because some of the things she is saying are dubious, links back to the fact she isnt a scholar. And meanwhile, the rest of the ummah is happy to just sit back and watch, and praise it. 'We need this' apparantly.
Note: In the real world, muslim marriages will be saved through a lot more hard work, then just tuning in every week to your local sexologist.
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 12:26 PM
during the sahabas time, how did their marriages survive?
becuase the PERSONALLY sought education on matters from the scholars n namely Muhammad Sallallahu alayhi wassalam, and ayesha radhillahu anha, how did they survive without the techy we have today?
thats another point of concern..think of it.
yes exactly
their source of education was Muhammad :saw:
now the masses has some more interesting sources of education.....traditions...friends....porn.....etc etc
and what this woman doing is wiping from the people mind every stupid and untrue idea they learned about sex and replace it with the teachings of the prophet on this matter
muslimah85
06-12-06, 12:27 PM
Maybe sexologist is not the right word then?
She is EDUCATING the masses on a important topic. Call her what youi like, but you have not watched the program nor seen her work so you are no one to judge. Watch it and then give us your opinion.
yes exactly
their source of education was Muhammad :saw:
now the masses has some more interesting sources of education.....traditions...friends....porn.....etc etc
and what this woman doing is wiping from the people mind every stupid and untrue idea they learned about sex and replace it with the teachings of the prophet on this matter
education should be spread in halal ways..:)
Maybe sexologist is not the right word then?
She is EDUCATING the masses on a important topic. Call her what youi like, but you have not watched the program nor seen her work so you are no one to judge. Watch it and then give us your opinion.
dont wanna watch it tho eh? i mean get real..have u not read what i justr said in my previous posts?
muslimah85
06-12-06, 12:29 PM
dont wanna watch it tho eh? i
the you are in no posiiton to judge and it is best to keep quiet :)
i think most peoples concern is why is a female doing that when a male can do it?... am i right?
muslimah85
06-12-06, 12:30 PM
One thing that annoys me is ignorant people. If we judged on assumption the world would be full of fools
the you are in no posiiton to judge and it is best to keep quiet :)
tell my why im not in a position TO AIR MY VIEWS ISLAMICALLY?:D
im not judging..tell me where have i judged her?
i simply said its not on the basis of hayaa..:up:
i think most peoples concern is why is a female doing that when a male can do it?... am i right?
nope not really, i thought about that. but my reasons are in my previous posts.
One thing that annoys me is ignorant people. If we judged on assumption the world would be full of fools
i hope that ure not hinting and getting personal on here. chill out. life isnt all bad:(
Al-Nasser
06-12-06, 12:37 PM
education should be spread in halal ways..:)
and who said that she is doing it the haram way?
and who said that she is doing it the haram way?
well its not halaal is it.
nasser carry on watching it.:D
Chained_Water
06-12-06, 12:38 PM
If she is a specialist in medicine, she is as covered as she need be in front of non-mahrems, she talks respectably in a professional serious tone and she does a good job of helping people.. who is anyone here to say "dont do such and such full stop"? :rolleyes:
Everyone has their opinions but some people here seem to dictate their own opinions as the only RIGHT thing a person could possibly do within Islam.. anything else is portrayed as some kind of Satanic transgression that will land you in Hell.
If you wouldn't want your wife doing her job, good on you, but so what? What has that got to do with her and what she does or what her husband or father let her do.. its none of anyones business you can have your own sense of what limits there are but you can't force anyone else to agree with you or shove it down their throats and make them live by it.
She OBVIOUSLY has a sense of haya and modesty, that is why she tries to dress and talk in an islamic manner and she obviously cares about Islam and her deen as she presents her advice from that point of view.
Everyone has an opinion, no need for anyone to use theirs to get high and mighty and disrespect others for not agreeing.
haya? no ways..that is not haya..:scratch:
I agree about disrespecting others, no need for the personal attacks from some on here.
But on the issue of making comment or passing opinions. We are an ummah. We dont deal with 'thy self' or our own opinions, we deal and address one another. We address and we rectify our problems. Doesnt mean your getting high and mighty.
Anyway this is just getting tiresome now.
Firstly there is no need for her to be on tv.
Secondly there is no need for her to give advice to men.
Thirdly, if she wants to give such advice, she can give it privately.
Fourthly, she should give advice to women.
:rolleyes:
needed to bump this:D
Chained_Water
06-12-06, 12:58 PM
I agree about disrespecting others, no need for the personal attacks from some on here.
But on the issue of making comment or passing opinions. We are an ummah. We dont deal with 'thy self' or our own opinions, we deal and address one another. We address and we rectify our problems. Doesnt mean your getting high and mighty.
Anyway this is just getting tiresome now.
Assalaamu Alaikum sis, how are you? :)
To respond on the topic: Sorry but how is this sister a problem to anyone here or the ummah? And who does making pages of posts saying "no haya yada yada.. don't go on tv full stop yada yada" help anyone solve problems?
If anything she is a good example of a practising, intelligent, professional, sister using her knowledge and skills to help other muslims solve THEIR problems and gain essential knowledge that could change the way they treat their spouse, conduct themselves or view Islam itself.
She's used her qualifications she gained in the West to go back to somewhere that expertise is not common and sexual advice is not readily or reliably available to women especially and communicate that to the masses in a professional manner.
Why do people think they have the right to question her haya? She is doing good work for the benefit of others, to eduacte them. Education is important and if it can be delivered in innovative ways (tv, radio, internet, posters, games, songs, whatever) then what is wrong with that? She is covered appropriately, she is miles away from any men who call her show and she addresses them in a professional manner with others listening in on the conversation (so it is public not clandestine) and she deals with matters from a biological and islamic point of view.
So what is the problem? If people don't like her doing it on TV, thats their opinion.. but if the complaint is "oh children might watch it".. yeh the TV station should be responsible in scheduling but it's parents job to monitor what their children watch on TV or see on the internet, not the TV's job to babysit the kids.
lemme finish off...
'but in the wrong way..';)
Al-Saeed Abdi
06-12-06, 01:19 PM
If she is a specialist in medicine, she is as covered as she need be in front of non-mahrems, she talks respectably in a professional serious tone and she does a good job of helping people.. who is anyone here to say "dont do such and such full stop"? :rolleyes:
Everyone has their opinions but some people here seem to dictate their own opinions as the only RIGHT thing a person could possibly do within Islam.. anything else is portrayed as some kind of Satanic transgression that will land you in Hell.
If you wouldn't want your wife doing her job, good on you, but so what? What has that got to do with her and what she does or what her husband or father let her do.. its none of anyones business you can have your own sense of what limits there are but you can't force anyone else to agree with you or shove it down their throats and make them live by it.
She OBVIOUSLY has a sense of haya and modesty, that is why she tries to dress and talk in an islamic manner and she obviously cares about Islam and her deen as she presents her advice from that point of view.
Everyone has an opinion, no need for anyone to use theirs to get high and mighty and disrespect others for not agreeing.
Well said sister.
Ma'aSalaama
Ruprecht
06-12-06, 01:23 PM
Assalaamu Alaikum sis, how are you? :)
To respond on the topic: Sorry but how is this sister a problem to anyone here or the ummah? And who does making pages of posts saying "no haya yada yada.. don't go on tv full stop yada yada" help anyone solve problems?
If anything she is a good example of a practising, intelligent, professional, sister using her knowledge and skills to help other muslims solve THEIR problems and gain essential knowledge that could change the way they treat their spouse, conduct themselves or view Islam itself.
She's used her qualifications she gained in the West to go back to somewhere that expertise is not common and sexual advice is not readily or reliably available to women especially and communicate that to the masses in a professional manner.
Why do people think they have the right to question her haya? She is doing good work for the benefit of others, to eduacte them. Education is important and if it can be delivered in innovative ways (tv, radio, internet, posters, games, songs, whatever) then what is wrong with that? She is covered appropriately, she is miles away from any men who call her show and she addresses them in a professional manner with others listening in on the conversation (so it is public not clandestine) and she deals with matters from a biological and islamic point of view.
So what is the problem? If people don't like her doing it on TV, thats their opinion.. but if the complaint is "oh children might watch it".. yeh the TV station should be responsible in scheduling but it's parents job to monitor what their children watch on TV or see on the internet, not the TV's job to babysit the kids.
Sounds respectable to me.
As opposed to the sex shows which were on TV when I was kid, which were smut posing as education in order to titillate the audience in the name of better ratings and the advertising dollar.
I'd say it's probably easier to ring a doctor anonymously, and certainly easier to hear someone else ring a doctor, than to ask these sorts of questions face to face.
Probably be better on radio though.
I am not a Muslim, so please, everyone, consider my thoughts and opinions in that light.
One thing I've learned about Islam is this forum is that Muslims describe Islam as the Middle Path.
Often in religion, when we over-emphasize one rule or teaching, we end up neglecting another equally important rule or teaching.
While I understand the importance of modesty in Islam, I also understand that there is an equally important need for Muslims to have compassion for other Muslims.
Many of the participants in this forum have grown up in middle-class homes in the West and have enjoyed every possible benefit of such prosperity and education.
By virtue of the extremely fortunate circumstances under which you were born and raised, you likely have a solid understanding of human anatomy, sexuality, and reproduction.
However, most Muslims in developing nations such as Egypt have not enjoyed the advantages you've enjoyed.
You seem to have very little compassion for people who grow up poor and with little education.
"Let her go to a doctor with her sexual questions!"
First of all, not all physicians are qualified to answer such questions. Secondly, not all Muslims have the money to spend on such a visit to the doctor. And, thirdly, and most importantly, it's likely that a pious woman would be too shy to ask such questions in the first place.
What you don't seem to understand is that poor, under-educated people often lack the basic vocabulary necessary for discussing their bodies. They're not stupid. They just don't know how to talk about such matters.
This woman is giving Muslims basic information that they likely haven't had an opportunity to learn before.
Finally, so far no one has successfully demonstrated that what this woman does in fact violates Islamic teachings regarding modesty.
Assalaamu Alaikum sis, how are you? :)
To respond on the topic: Sorry but how is this sister a problem to anyone here or the ummah? And who does making pages of posts saying "no haya yada yada.. don't go on tv full stop yada yada" help anyone solve problems?
If anything she is a good example of a practising, intelligent, professional, sister using her knowledge and skills to help other muslims solve THEIR problems and gain essential knowledge that could change the way they treat their spouse, conduct themselves or view Islam itself.
She's used her qualifications she gained in the West to go back to somewhere that expertise is not common and sexual advice is not readily or reliably available to women especially and communicate that to the masses in a professional manner.
Why do people think they have the right to question her haya? She is doing good work for the benefit of others, to eduacte them. Education is important and if it can be delivered in innovative ways (tv, radio, internet, posters, games, songs, whatever) then what is wrong with that? She is covered appropriately, she is miles away from any men who call her show and she addresses them in a professional manner with others listening in on the conversation (so it is public not clandestine) and she deals with matters from a biological and islamic point of view.
So what is the problem? If people don't like her doing it on TV, thats their opinion.. but if the complaint is "oh children might watch it".. yeh the TV station should be responsible in scheduling but it's parents job to monitor what their children watch on TV or see on the internet, not the TV's job to babysit the kids.
Wa alaykum as salaam sis CW. Alhumdulillah Im cool, hope you are well Inshallah :D
The sister is on a show, she is doing something publically, and a judgement can be made of that. I just seriously dont understand where the justification for having a weekly show with the ins and outs of the intimate relationship between a man and woman has come from. A tv show is public. What she says, regarding sexual relationships, is transmitted to hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Where exactly, from the sunnah, did the companions (rdn) discuss these things publically???
We have the example of Aisha (rdn) who was a woman of immense Islamic knowledge who taught the deen with Islamic etiquette, people learning in gatherings privately. We have the examples of the hayya of the companions (rdn) in thought, speech and action. In the example of Um Sulaim (rdn) who came to the Prophet (saw) when she required an answer, when she needed to know something, she asked privately. We have the example of the companions, and how they addressed and dealt with this issue, what did the Prophet (saw) teach them because that was what they needed to know, privately. We have the ahadith detailing that revealing intimate details to anyone, is haraam, because this issue is, private.
Private, because there is always an element of shame and shyness.
I am only giving this view from my understanding and learning. Wa Allahu alim. But none of these examples give a such a show justification. Be it presented by a man or woman, but hayya is obviously more important for the honour of a woman.
abdulhakeem
28-01-07, 03:02 AM
Dr Sex spices up Arab TV
January 28, 2007
Sara Hashash
THE Arab world’s first Muslim sexologist is breaking boundaries with a sex education TV show that has taken the Middle East by storm.
Dr Heba Kotb, 39, devotes Serious Talk, broadcast weekly on the independent Egyptian satellite channel Al Mehwar, to answering intimate sexual questions posed by curious young Arab men and women.
The Egyptian doctor, who runs a sex clinic in Cairo, discusses topics usually unthinkable within conservative Arab societies: different sexual positions, the female orgasm and problems such as impotence — all with an Islamic perspective.
Her show, the first of its kind in a region where sex education is rare, has provoked strong reactions. After each episode Kotb receives more than 70,000 text messages and e-mails from viewers.
Misunderstandings about sex are rife in the Middle East so much of her work involves explaining basic biology. One mother rang in because she did not know how to explain lesbianism to her daughter.
Kotb gives all her advice according to Islamic principles and she frequently invites clerics along with doctors to take part in discussions. In a first for the Arab world, she has dared to state on air that there is nothing shameful or sinful about sex, so long as it is within marriage.
The Koran, she claims, is very direct in its teachings about sex. While studying for a degree in clinical sexology in Florida, she was struck by parallels between discoveries about the female orgasm by the researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, and references to sex in the Koran.
“In Islam, women as well as men have the right to enjoy sexual intercourse,” she said.
Kotb believes that more than 80% of divorces in the Arab world are caused by sexual problems. She recently advised couples not to renounce sex during the holy month of Ramadan.
Her critics say her programme is too explicit. Sheikh Youssef al-Badri, a radical Islamic cleric, said her show “invades the privacy of our bedrooms” and “increases the number of sex perverts”.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-2569816,00.html
salaam
being reffered to "dr.sex" isnt exactly modest... ^^^ :(
even though i can understand her intention for being on tv may be pure, i dont think its being carried out the rite way.
while tv is a good way to get information across and to a large number of people, it can cause fitnah too. heres a woman on tv talking about sex. young guys, not so religious can watch it (and probably do).... u know..... "think thoughts" where does this leave her? they can think [insert: "dirty"] thoughts about her.
doesnt her husband realize there could be men out there thinking dirty things about his wife?! great, shes educated and stuff.... she should definitely be behind a screen - or wear a niqaab- like someone already mentioned.
i just hope shes not gaining more sins than good deeds.
ur_yusra
28-01-07, 03:40 AM
:smack:
This thread didn't need a revival :S
salaam
sowwiieeee... i didnt look at the date! :rubeyes: :smack:
ur_yusra
28-01-07, 03:47 AM
salaam
sowwiieeee... i didnt look at the date! :rubeyes: :smack:
:wswrwb:
Don't worry sis.. it was revived about half an hour before you posted.
uhkt_al'muminun
28-01-07, 04:05 AM
wat happened to hayaa...
:confused:
sex doesnt take rocket science not that i would know:rolleyes:
if areas of health yeah the people should be educated on it.
but when it comes to enjoying sex or learning about different positions like i said it aint exactly quantum physics now is it?:rolleyes:
what ever happened to learning thru trial and error? lol
personaly i wouldnt do what shes doing for a mountain of gold, its to akward.and imodest.
but hey every women for her own.
wat happened to hayaa...
:confused:
gone with the wind i guess, just like bravery (2 fight fi si bililaah)
am seriously starting 2 believe hayaa is something u either have it or u dont.
Barracuda
28-01-07, 06:04 AM
Why we are assuming that the Muslimah is talking like Dr. Ruth Westheimer? It has something to with most of us living in the West and have seen Dr. Ruth and few others talking in a very graphic fashion on TV, sone even have props of male/female genitalia. In Islam sex education is a requirement like other kind of education i.e. religious and secular. In fact our sex education is embedded in both kind of education and can be discussed without being graphic and suggestive.
$HugoBoss$
28-01-07, 06:33 AM
It's just wrong, no female muslimah should be giving sex education to muslim men whether she's in niqab or only if her voice can be heared. Do it privately with the the females. Men can always seek knowledge from imaams and fatwa on certain issues. I've learned sex education through schooling and my dad was very open about it with me as well. Sorry i don't need a sister teaching me this i'd rather learn it on my own.
We should all be educated islamically and practice the prophets sunnah like foreplay for example.
I usually go to www.AsmImam.com to seek knowledge and i read the questions from other brothers and it just disgusts me, i'm like whats up with these brothers, either they are very immature or due to the lack of education they are confused.
It's just wrong, no female muslimah should be giving sex education to muslim men whether she's in niqab or only if her voice can be heared. Do it privately with the the females. Men can always seek knowledge from imaams and fatwa on certain issues. I've learned sex education through schooling and my dad was very open about it with me as well. Sorry i don't need a sister teaching me this i'd rather learn it on my own.
We should all be educated islamically and practice the prophets sunnah like foreplay for example.
I usually go to www.AsmImam.com (http://www.AsmImam.com) to seek knowledge and i read the questions from other brothers and it just disgusts me, i'm like whats up with these brothers, either they are very immature or due to the lack of education they are confused.
ummm did not the wife of the prophet instruct men in sex education? Was she wrong to do that?
$HugoBoss$
28-01-07, 06:47 AM
ummm did not the wife of the prophet instruct men in sex education? Was she wrong to do that?
I never knew that. I'm more comfortable talking with a brother rather than a sister because there are certain topics and issues these days that maybe weren't there when the prophet's wife used to instruct men in sex education. That time was different compared to ours but whatever it maybe it's just my personal preference thats all. :up:
I never knew that. I'm more comfortable talking with a brother rather than a sister because there are certain topics and issues these days that maybe weren't there when the prophet's wife used to instruct men in sex education. That time was different compared to ours but whatever it maybe it's just my personal preference thats all. :up:
lol am not suporting the arab sis on tv
but come on sex is sex whether in the 7th century or in the 21st century
I never knew that. I'm more comfortable talking with a brother rather than a sister because there are certain topics and issues these days that maybe weren't there when the prophet's wife used to instruct men in sex education. That time was different compared to ours but whatever it maybe it's just my personal preference thats all. :up:
Who is more of an expert on what works for a woman then a woman? What man is more qualified then a woman to give a man advice on a woman's sexuality? Do you ask a plumber to wire up your house? :P
lol am not suporting the arab sis on tv
but come on sex is sex whether in the 7th century or in the 21st century
If it was truly that simple, people in the west should be in a constant state of ectasy. Sex is not simple and it's not instinctive beyond the basic mechanics. It's a skill that needs to be learned to be done well.
If it was truly that simple, people in the west should be in a constant state of ectasy. Sex is not simple and it's not instinctive beyond the basic mechanics. It's a skill that needs to be learned to be done well.
lol yes sir!!
i feel weird going on abt this subject. but then again maybe its the attitude towards it that i have grown up seeing.
i was simply saying (even tho the topic in general is 2 do with more then just what happens behind closed doors between husband and wife)
I was focusing on just that aspect. its my opinion that it doesnt take rocket science. for some.
2 be honest posting on this thread alone makes me feel akward. imagine saying all this on tv :rubeyes:
$HugoBoss$
28-01-07, 07:25 AM
Who is more of an expert on what works for a woman then a woman? What man is more qualified then a woman to give a man advice on a woman's sexuality? Do you ask a plumber to wire up your house? :P
Well i don't know any particular men to be honest but i'm sure there's plenty out there but i do understand your point. lol brother teoma my plumber is also my electrician and he also builds furniture :rotfl: , how ironic that you bring that up.
This thread still traumatises me. No, I aint over it.
:rolleyes:
faishaan
29-01-07, 05:14 AM
i love this thread :D i think that sister on TV is doing a great job. too bad i am not a arab
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