A question

[bint]

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

its just a question for peace of mind.

Q. Should the husband inform the first wife if that he has a second wife? same goes with do the children have a right to know? does the first wife have a right to know?

For some reason i have been told that a child does not need to know.

JazakAllah to anyone who posts with some backup.

[MMS]

i dont know how somebody could keep another wife a secret forever without telling some big lies

[bint]

i dont know how somebody could keep another wife a secret forever without telling some big lies


i didnt ask for that comment mms. i asked for backup.

[Guvna]

i didnt ask for that comment mms. i asked for backup.

i honestly couldn;t comment....! :rubeyes:

[imama]

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

its just a question for peace of mind.

Q. Should the husband inform the first wife if that he has a second wife? same goes with do the children have a right to know? does the first wife have a right to know?

For some reason i have been told that a child does not need to know.

JazakAllah to anyone who posts with some backup.

AsslamOAlaikum

sorry if it doesnt back up.. but as far as i know.. aparently they can't remarry without a wife's permission

[Nusayba]

lets see if this thread will create a gender war again...and have Irhaab posting in it as usual and some will go "wheres the hadith and he'll post a hadith and everyone will leave him alone, and there will be a gender war...

question like that usually create a gender war...just my observation

why am I posting this now? lol...I don't know...i'm going now anyway

[bint]

actually i agree with al irhaab on ALL of the posts he posts..(the sensible ones)

no useful posts as yet.

[Nusayba]

He never talks without daleel, and thats why I respect him.

[awwabah]

yes he should tell her for inheritance purposes. Also he should not deprive her of the right for divorce, if he remarries she has a right to ask for divorce. He should tell the kids so that they know their brothers and sisters, and for inheritance purposes.







I once read about this woman, don't know if she was british or american who was engaged to marry this guy, and when she brought him to meet her father, it turned out that he was her brother. She was pregnant so she got rid of the baby :rolleyes:

[bint]

please someone?

[Al-Irhaab]

well errr from what i know .... then their are conflicting thoughts.... if ur asking for pure ayah hadith then there is none as far as i am aware unless a bro/sis can correct me....

but the position is this...

1) the prophet (SaW) has advised good treatment for women so why someone wouldnt tell his wife is something which doesnt sound like good treatment

2) the man woul have to lie like someone said above or twist the truth or be deceitful....

3) the strongest arguement ive seen so far is yes he would have to tell because of inheritance rulings... ie lets say i am married here and i go and get married back in pk and dont tell my wife here then i die then any children in pk etc wil be deprived of inheritance and so wll wife there...

4) but in terms of having to tell ur wife look im getting married to so and so person... then as pure fiqh ruling no u dont have to tell her ur getting married... but it would be highly advisable that u do so, and if u dont then be prepared for trouble (this is what i have seen advised by ulema aswell)...

[Al-Irhaab]

yes he should tell her for inheritance purposes. Also he should not deprive her of the right for divorce, if he remarries she has a right to ask for divorce. He should tell the kids so that they know their brothers and sisters, and for inheritance purposes.







I once read about this woman, don't know if she was british or american who was engaged to marry this guy, and when she brought him to meet her father, it turned out that he was her brother. She was pregnant so she got rid of the baby :rolleyes:


not gonna start this discussion here but if u want to start it somewhere else feel free to do so, but she has no right to divorce if he remarrys....

[.: Anna :.]

I have heard that he does not HAVE to tell her. But if we look at the example of the Prophet :saw: and the sahabas, they did not keep this secret.
I fail to understand how they can in practicality keep it secret because Muslims are not supposed to lie. So if he goes off for the wedding then wife will ask "where have u been?" then already his thing is busted....
Yes I also agree with al irhab alot n i think ppl give him too much trouble for his posts (sisters) but how is that relevant to this thread am not too sure

[Al-Irhaab]

http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=2224

... from mufti ibrahim desai ... ill check sheikh salihs in a second....

and oye no praising me :torture: only bro abu musab and bro abu mubarak can do that...

[Guvna]

http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=2224

... from mufti ibrahim desai ... ill check sheikh salihs in a second....

and oye no praising me :torture: only bro abu musab and bro abu mubarak can do that...

top man aur kid!! :up:

[bint]

I have heard that he does not HAVE to tell her. But if we look at the example of the Prophet :saw: and the sahabas, they did not keep this secret.
I fail to understand how they can in practicality keep it secret because Muslims are not supposed to lie. So if he goes off for the wedding then wife will ask "where have u been?" then already his thing is busted....
Yes I also agree with al irhab alot n i think ppl give him too much trouble for his posts (sisters) but how is that relevant to this thread am not too sure

jazakAllah to u and al irhaab for ure comments.

i have more questions to this topic but ill leave it. dont want to cause a stir now.

that was relevant cos one sister mentioned something. so i just put it straight.:)

[bint]

http://www.islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=2224

... from mufti ibrahim desai ... ill check sheikh salihs in a second....

and oye no praising me :torture: only bro abu musab and bro abu mubarak can do that...


dont let ure hed get too big now. no one was praising YOU. just ure posts.:D err not even praising. just that we agree. and how can u even accept praising? id throw dust on their faces.

back to the topic. i get what ure saying the daleel u have shown me. i guess theres no real backup if he has to tell the children?

[Guvna]

jazakAllah to u and al irhaab for ure comments.

i have more questions to this topic but ill leave it. dont want to cause a stir now.

that was relevant cos one sister mentioned something. so i just put it straight.:)


ahhhh its all sorted then inshallah!!!

good topic.. i thinks tis only fair they telll em... coz later.. its just gonnna cause further problems....

Honestly is always best policy i say!!! :up:

[.: Anna :.]

i would think the children are going to be lesser in the line of priority of knowing. wife definately i think should know bc it affects their marriage n is disrespectful not to tell at all, but kids then mayb they would go without telling them? perhaps at first they think they young they dnt need 2 kno... then never find a suitable moment 2 tell? :S

[Medievalist]

No1 needs to know - shhhhhhhh ;)

[bint]

i would think the children are going to be lesser in the line of priority of knowing. wife definately i think should know bc it affects their marriage n is disrespectful not to tell at all, but kids then mayb they would go without telling them? perhaps at first they think they young they dnt need 2 kno... then never find a suitable moment 2 tell? :S
but isnt it fair the children know becuase. others in the town would know..why shudnt they?

[ur_yusra]

I'm sure both wives will find out when the guy doesnt turn up every other day :eek:

[bint]

*edited*

[Cashew]

I can envision all sorts of nightmare scenarios that could easily happen if the husband did not tell his wife.

It sounds like a recipe for disaster.

[ur_yusra]

but isnt it fair the children know becuase. others in the town would know..why shudnt they? why shud they be made a mockery?

lol yeh they should know if they got half brothers and sisters to play with..

[bint]

lol yeh they should know if they got half brothers and sisters to play with..
this aint a joke. *sighs*

[.: Anna :.]

but isnt it fair the children know becuase. others in the town would know..why shudnt they? why shud they be made a mockery?well if they will b caused harm by not knowing then definately i think they should know. its prob gna depend on the dif situations, n i suppose the parents try 2 do wat they think is easier for the child by telling or not, and sometimes it may b the wrong decision... but they prob hav the best intention for the family even if they made the wrong decision i guess

[ur_yusra]

-edit-

[bint]

nothing just delete that. ive edited mine. :)

[bint]

well if they will b caused harm by not knowing then definately i think they should know. its prob gna depend on the dif situations, n i suppose the parents try 2 do wat they think is easier for the child by telling or not, and sometimes it may b the wrong decision... but they prob hav the best intention for the family even if they made the wrong decision i guess
yes true. mashaAllah.

anyways i think thats enough. :)

[Al-Irhaab]

but isnt it fair the children know becuase. others in the town would know..why shudnt they? why shud they be made a mockery?

oh that is different issue.... if they live in the same town , then he should definately tell his kids, otherwise it would cause big fitnah, first of all imagine them seeing their dad with another woman... theyd think hes committing adultery against their mother... also the major inheriance ruling is for the kids not the wife.. the wife u tell in relation to inheritance because she looks after the kids, the kids u need to tell because its their inheritance that will be divided.... also u must tell the kids because if say he has a son from one wife and a daughter from another the whole issue of mehrams and also he would be mehra to his fathers second wife... etc etc....

a man who gets married and doesnt tell his first wife or kids is an idiot... :rolleyes:

[bint]

okay. noted..now i can prove my point jazakAllah.

just a debate im having with an egoistic nerd.:rolleyes:

[Al-Irhaab]

okay. noted..now i can prove my point jazakAllah.

just a debate im having with an egoistic nerd.:rolleyes:

barakallah fik

but dont talk abt mms like that

:outta:

[.: Anna :.]

oh yeah i did not think of the mehram issue! thats a major one

[`asiya]

there are hadiths that the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam would announce he was marrying and invite his all his wives to eat with him and then they gave him their blessings and masha Allah he got married as far as i remember Allahu alam, no man has to ask his wives permisison if he can marry again why would he? its not his wife thats re-marrying, its his marriage and his buisness. anyway the prophet salallahu alleyhi wa salam also said "...announce the marriage!"

The children have to know of course these are their brothers and sisters and what about when they grow up? say he remarried in another city never told each wife and all his children, and then died audu billah and never said a word, then the kids they could end up meeting and marrying each other!! audu billah! every child has a right to know who his/her father is, and his/her brothers and sisters.

I think the whole problem here is that we have to ditch this idea that its all such a big deal having more than one wife, and be upfront and honest about it with all concerned, because polygamy is really not a big deal, keep everything decent and respectful with good manners, this is normal way of life for us we are muslims, sooner we get back into polygamy being practised properly, then all the better for the ummah.:up:

[TEH]

Apparently, when I was told that my dad had a second wife, this is what happened: (I was a young kid btw)

Mum: ...and you shouldnt worry, because Allah will always be with us and will help us...

Me: Yeah, but Allah helps everyone, so that means he is going to help her (the second) too... :( (:rotfl:)

I remember we had many toy shops back then, and when my mum told me, all I could ask was, 'Do we still get to keep the toy shops?' And thats all I could care about at the time...I mean didnt really care what happened to my dad, as long as we had our toy shops..

:D

[Medievalist]

Apparently, when I was told that my dad had a second wife, this is what happened: (I was a young kid btw)

Mum: ...and you shouldnt worry, because Allah will always be with us and will help us...

Me: Yeah, but Allah helps everyone, so that means he is going to help her (the second) too... :( (:rotfl:)

:D


:rotfl:

:rotfl:

[Kal-El]

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

its just a question for peace of mind.

Q. Should the husband inform the first wife if that he has a second wife? same goes with do the children have a right to know? does the first wife have a right to know?

For some reason i have been told that a child does not need to know.

JazakAllah to anyone who posts with some backup.

The subject was discussed in detail. Islamically, the husband has no obligation of telling her about his decision in marrying another.

She has no right to know of this, religiously.

But to some men, she does have the right because of how it would affect her. But most, don't tell their wives they have other wives.

[Al-Irhaab]

The subject was discussed in detail. Islamically, the husband has no obligation of telling her about his decision in marrying another.

She has no right to know of this, religiously.

But to some men, she does have the right because of how it would affect her. But most, don't tell their wives they have other wives.

what u on abt most men dont tell their first wives... :torture:

i know a lot of brothers who are married twice and they have all told their wives based upon the above mentioned reasons....

[bint]

Apparently, when I was told that my dad had a second wife, this is what happened: (I was a young kid btw)

Mum: ...and you shouldnt worry, because Allah will always be with us and will help us...

Me: Yeah, but Allah helps everyone, so that means he is going to help her (the second) too... :( (:rotfl:)

I remember we had many toy shops back then, and when my mum told me, all I could ask was, 'Do we still get to keep the toy shops?' And thats all I could care about at the time...I mean didnt really care what happened to my dad, as long as we had our toy shops..

:D


are you joking?

[awwabah]

salam alaykum,

bro alirhab, maa shaa Allah you are on the hanafi math-hab so I guess she can't divorce him, I just checked that, but don't know if what I read is true:


In the Hanafi school, for example, a woman has almost no grounds for obtaining a divorce provided her husband has consummated the marriage. She cannot be divorced from him even if he fails to support her, abuses her, or is imprisoned for life. If he is declared missing, she may indeed have the marriage dissolved (on grounds of presumed widowhood) at the time when he would have turned 90.

is this true? I don't know until I get a hold of alfiqh 3ala almathahib alarba3ah. SO if it isn't I hope you will clarify.


According to Egyptian law if she puts the condition in her marriage contract that she may divorce him if he remarries then she certainly has that right, its conditional divorce.
If she doesnt include it in her marriage contract then she may seek khul3 (divestiture-I think that's called!) anyway in the conditional instant she gets all her rights, in the second she has to give up her dowry.

I think that would be shafei math-hab then.


The amazing thing I have found is that it never occurs to the husband that he may be hurting his first wife's feelings when he does that, and what is even funnier is that if you ask the second wife if she would agree to her husband marrying a third time she will definitely say no! I've asked second wives and I havent heard a yes yet.:rolleyes:

But one goes back and thinks of first wives who are paralysed and who are infertile and whom the second wife and her children have filled up their life of isolation and lonliness I guess it's a two edged sword.

wa salam alaykum

[rukayya]

salam,
i think, if the husband is real muslim, he has to inform his 1st wife that he wants to marry another. :up: :lailah:
subhanAllah, my husband asked me to marry another wife because of reason, alhamdulillah, i agreed, and on our last trip to magrib i meet with the 2nd wife. ;)
alhamdulillah!
wa'salam:hidban: