View Full Version : why are so many people suspicious...
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 04:35 PM
i think this was slightly touched on in the chivalry thread..but how comes when you do something for someone..they always think you want something in return...or like simple things when u smile at them they get all -hmmm what does he want, why's he smiling :0: ......
Al-Saeed Abdi
28-11-06, 04:51 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Once my eye was twitching and I accidentally winked at some guy on the street. I have no idea what went through his mind, seeing me, a bearded guy (longer than fist length at the time) wink at him. Although he did jump a little, and we had that freeze frame moment, where the world just stood still for a few seconds, then I said "WHAT" and moved along. That was awkward.
Anyways, in this day and age I don’t think it’s appropriate to smile at people you don’t know.
Ma'aSalaama
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 04:51 PM
sorry bro :crying2:
why??? :scratch:
i think this was slightly touched on in the chivalry thread..but how comes when you do something for someone..they always think you want something in return...or like simple things when u smile at them they get all -hmmm what does he want, why's he smiling :0: ......
i know what you mean, we're all so suspiscious of each other...even if a muslim does something nice for another muslim..we always think 'why did they do that? what do they want? oh no..now they're gonna want a favour in return'
admittadly i'm the worse at doing this..i think everyones got an ulterior motive
i suppose its cos of society and the way humans are today :rolleyes:
why??? :scratch:
cos im always askin why your smiling so much :smack:
*raises hand* guilty
:crying: dint mean to upset you
its an importnat topic your raised here- people are suspicious- they think your trying to pull.
whne my lil bro was working during the summer hols, he was always reluctant to ask asian female customers if they needed help cos of the
a)unwarranted attention he got
b) the dirty looks
cant win!
Abu Mus'ab
28-11-06, 05:33 PM
If i look stern then it's a problem,and if i smile it's also a problem *Roll Eyes*
Khubaib
28-11-06, 05:36 PM
Smile if you make eye contact and then immediately look away.
.: Anna :.
28-11-06, 05:47 PM
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Once my eye was twitching and I accidentally winked at some guy on the street. I have no idea what went through his mind, seeing me, a bearded guy (longer than fist length at the time) wink at him. Although he did jump a little, and we had that freeze frame moment, where the world just stood still for a few seconds, then I said "WHAT" and moved along. That was awkward.
Anyways, in this day and age I don’t think it’s appropriate to smile at people you don’t know.
Ma'aSalaama
It is still appropriate.... cos it is from the sunnah to smile, and it is a charity to smile. So in Islam it is a good act, and Islam is appropriate in every day and age.. its not a crime to smile these days and we shud insha allah still implement the sunnah even with those we dnt know.
In fact it is a sign of the last days that the salam will become not a greeting amongst the muslims as a whole but confined to jst the ppl whom u know.. this happens alot nowadays.
So what if we smile n we get a weird look, we hav got a charity written in our book bc of that smile. So why let ppls suspicion and :rolleyes: kind of attitudes prevent us from performing that charity.
Personally I do not really care if I smile at someone n they look @ me rudely, i jst keep on walking where i was going, if they dnt have ne manners that is their loss innit. With Muslims it is a bit sad if they dnt return ur smile or salam bt have 2 presume they didnt see or hear, or they are like daydreaming or summin n dnt notice... like make an excuse insha allah.
Winking at ppl on the other hand is creepy lol, i hate winking n never would do that :p but smiliing is all good
:D
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 05:49 PM
cos im always askin why your smiling so much :smack:
*raises hand* guilty
:crying: dint mean to upset you
nah u didnt upset me :) :D
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 05:51 PM
i know what you mean, we're all so suspiscious of each other...even if a muslim does something nice for another muslim..we always think 'why did they do that? what do they want? oh no..now they're gonna want a favour in return'
admittadly i'm the worse at doing this..i think everyones got an ulterior motive
i suppose its cos of society and the way humans are today :rolleyes:
hmmm but doesnt have to be like that does it though...
"ulterior motive" thats the phrase i was looking for...:up: :D
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 05:53 PM
It is still appropriate.... cos it is from the sunnah to smile, and it is a charity to smile. So in Islam it is a good act, and Islam is appropriate in every day and age.. its not a crime to smile these days and we shud insha allah still implement the sunnah even with those we dnt know.
In fact it is a sign of the last days that the salam will become not a greeting amongst the muslims as a whole but confined to jst the ppl whom u know.. this happens alot nowadays.
So what if we smile n we get a weird look, we hav got a charity written in our book bc of that smile. So why let ppls suspicion and :rolleyes: kind of attitudes prevent us from performing that charity.
Personally I do not really care if I smile at someone n they look @ me rudely, i jst keep on walking where i was going, if they dnt have ne manners that is their loss innit. With Muslims it is a bit sad if they dnt return ur smile or salam bt have 2 presume they didnt see or hear, or they are like daydreaming or summin n dnt notice... like make an excuse insha allah.
Winking at ppl on the other hand is creepy lol, i hate winking n never would do that :p but smiliing is all good
:D
:up:
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 05:53 PM
It is still appropriate.... cos it is from the sunnah to smile, and it is a charity to smile. So in Islam it is a good act, and Islam is appropriate in every day and age.. its not a crime to smile these days and we shud insha allah still implement the sunnah even with those we dnt know.
In fact it is a sign of the last days that the salam will become not a greeting amongst the muslims as a whole but confined to jst the ppl whom u know.. this happens alot nowadays.
So what if we smile n we get a weird look, we hav got a charity written in our book bc of that smile. So why let ppls suspicion and :rolleyes: kind of attitudes prevent us from performing that charity.
Personally I do not really care if I smile at someone n they look @ me rudely, i jst keep on walking where i was going, if they dnt have ne manners that is their loss innit. With Muslims it is a bit sad if they dnt return ur smile or salam bt have 2 presume they didnt see or hear, or they are like daydreaming or summin n dnt notice... like make an excuse insha allah.
Winking at ppl on the other hand is creepy lol, i hate winking n never would do that :p but smiliing is all good
:D
i dont know it depends... like with a muslim sister i would never smile like proper smile like i do wth brothers like this kind of smile :D ....
i normally just do the and leave it at that.... and thats only when they acknowledge me ie like eye contact or salam or something... otherwise.... i just walk past pretend i didnt even see them.... unless its like some relative or something....but i mean even with relatives its a problem... i remember i was at the doctors once.. and i see this sister come in with jalbab and i thouht hmmm thats my cousins wife... then i tght wait wot if she isnt.... so i thought damn cant look again cus might not be ... so i was like sat for 2 mins thinking wht shld i do.... so then i like walked up to the counter and heard her speak ad realised ah ok it is her... so i was like salam bhaji wheres ur husband and the kid and she was like outside .... so anyway moral of the story is.... u got to be careful
Abu Mus'ab
28-11-06, 05:54 PM
Smile if you make eye contact and then immediately look away.
I never look away, they must look away *Roll Eyes*
i think this was slightly touched on in the chivalry thread..but how comes when you do something for someone..they always think you want something in return...or like simple things when u smile at them they get all -hmmm what does he want, why's he smiling :0: ......
theres a hadith says suspicion of a muslim is from shaitan right? so the way i look at it is, if someone does something we should think good of them, and even if they do have an ulterior motive and maybe even rip u off or something in the end, i really dont care its no loss because Allah ta ala will bring them to justice in this life or the next, and u get rewarded insha Allah for the way u deal with it, so dont worry about what people think keep doing the right thing no matter what, but all that being said, a mu`min doesnt get bitten from the same hole twice...
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 06:02 PM
theres a hadith says suspicion of a muslim is from shaitan right? so the way i look at it is, if someone does something we should think good of the, and even if they do have an ulterior motive and maybe even rip u off or something in the end, i really dont care its no loss because Allah ta ala will bring them to justice in this life or the next, and u get rewarded insha Allah for the way u deal with it, so dont worry about what people think keep doing the right thing no matter what, but all that being said, a mu`min doesnt get bitten from the same hole twice...
sis u shld also keep suspicion away from urself.... even if the action ur doing might be mubah or even rewardable... if u know that u might do something and it might cause people to doubt u... sometimes its best not to do it...
sis u shld also keep suspicion away from urself.... even if the action ur doing might be mubah or even rewardable... if u know that u might do something and it might cause people to doubt u... sometimes its best not to do it...
well i wouldnt be doing anything haram so no need for them to suspect me. Thats from shaitan, and thats their problem, because Allah ta ala knows the truth.Allahu alam eh
Abu Mus'ab
28-11-06, 06:13 PM
sis u shld also keep suspicion away from urself.... even if the action ur doing might be mubah or even rewardable... if u know that u might do something and it might cause people to doubt u... sometimes its best not to do it...
Like carrying someones food in ramadhaan,people will think you're not fasting even though you were carrying it for someone else.
NaBiiHa
28-11-06, 06:20 PM
i think this was slightly touched on in the chivalry thread..but how comes when you do something for someone..they always think you want something in return...or like simple things when u smile at them they get all -hmmm what does he want, why's he smiling :0: ......
There is nothing wrong on smiling, and i think why some ppl my think that "you" need something for return is that they DONT know how to apperciate. :) :)
NaBiiHa
28-11-06, 06:21 PM
There is nothing wrong on smiling, and i think why some ppl my think that "you" need something for return is that they DONT know how to apperciate. :) :)
I forget to say that KEEP smiling bro :D
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 06:22 PM
well i wouldnt be doing anything haram so no need for them to suspect me. Thats from shaitan, and thats their problem, because Allah ta ala knows the truth.Allahu alam eh
never mind i dont want to argue with you... all i need to say is go ask an alim because the ahkam are simple... dont be suspicious of people and dont put urself in positions that might make someone suspicious of u... if u want to know further go ask an alim...
.: Anna :.
28-11-06, 06:26 PM
i dont know it depends... like with a muslim sister i would never smile like proper smile like i do wth brothers like this kind of smile :D ....
i normally just do the and leave it at that.... and thats only when they acknowledge me ie like eye contact or salam or something... otherwise.... i just walk past pretend i didnt even see them.... unless its like some relative or something....but i mean even with relatives its a problem... i remember i was at the doctors once.. and i see this sister come in with jalbab and i thouht hmmm thats my cousins wife... then i tght wait wot if she isnt.... so i thought damn cant look again cus might not be ... so i was like sat for 2 mins thinking wht shld i do.... so then i like walked up to the counter and heard her speak ad realised ah ok it is her... so i was like salam bhaji wheres ur husband and the kid and she was like outside .... so anyway moral of the story is.... u got to be careful
yes for bros i dnt smile... i think like between bros n sis in islam, if u see them coming 2 wards u in the road, n u lower ur eyes down 2 the floor that in itself is a kind of an aknowledgement of them neway. so they shud take it in a nice way, n insha allah thats enuf. its dif if its like a couple or summat coming along, like can smile or giv salam 4 the wife but single person of the opposite sex or group of opposite sex, nahhh. if we want 2 implement a sunnah then we hav 2 do in a way which is appropriate neway. i dnt know if its allowed 2 smile @ bros in the street anyway, like mayb it is but hw r u gna smile wit ur eyes down neway?
i think this was slightly touched on in the chivalry thread..but how comes when you do something for someone..they always think you want something in return...or like simple things when u smile at them they get all -hmmm what does he want, why's he smiling :0: ......
Because usually they DO want something in return. Whys he smiling??? he wants a smile back :rolleyes:
We dont live in a society where everyone is mashallah practising the deen, where mashallah our children and our women are safe. They are not, and people here keep themselves to themselves wherever possible. So unfortunately, the consequence is an extreme lack of trust and being wary of people, men. You have to be.
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:30 PM
If i look stern then it's a problem,and if i smile it's also a problem *Roll Eyes*
keep rolling ur eyes, no one will suspect a thing then.
yes for bros i dnt smile... i think like between bros n sis in islam, if u see them coming 2 wards u in the road, n u lower ur eyes down 2 the floor that in itself is a kind of an aknowledgement of them neway. so they shud take it in a nice way, n insha allah thats enuf. its dif if its like a couple or summat coming along, like can smile or giv salam 4 the wife but single person of the opposite sex or group of opposite sex, nahhh. if we want 2 implement a sunnah then we hav 2 do in a way which is appropriate neway. i dnt know if its allowed 2 smile @ bros in the street anyway, like mayb it is but hw r u gna smile wit ur eyes down neway?
ditto. and furthermore awkward when they give salaam and you shuffle along mumbling walaikum as salaam incoherantly lookin away and downright rude :smack:
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:32 PM
maybe im niave but i very rarely think that way unless its a complete change in character, in which case its only natural to think "hmm wonder what's happening here then"
.: Anna :.
28-11-06, 06:32 PM
ditto. and furthermore awkward when they give salaam and you shuffle along mumbling walaikum as salaam incoherantly lookin away and downright rude :smack:
yeh it is awkward... bt i guess they are just trying 2 b nice n spread the salam. i jst quickly reply it n keep walking. only a few weirdos try 2 use it as a chat up i think the majority intention is good, and we shud reply it cos that is one of the rights of the muslim 2 reply their greeting.
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:35 PM
ditto. and furthermore awkward when they give salaam and you shuffle along mumbling walaikum as salaam incoherantly lookin away and downright rude :smack:
lol yes.
brother smiling is well awkward. I don't see the big deal in feeling a little suspicious over weird things or out of character attitudes. If a brother was to smile at me on the street with a big grin, I think I would be well vexed off and awkward. But again, i dont think its necessarily a bad thing to feel that way.
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 06:36 PM
Because usually they DO want something in return. Whys he smiling??? he wants a smile back :rolleyes:
We dont live in a society where everyone is mashallah practising the deen, where mashallah our children and our women are safe. They are not, and people here keep themselves to themselves wherever possible. So unfortunately, the consequence is an extreme lack of trust and being wary of people, men. You have to be.
wary of men smiling.... :rolleyes:
im more wary of women smilin.... :torture:
lol yes.
brother smiling is well awkward. I don't see the big deal in feeling a little suspicious over weird things or out of character attitudes. If a brother was to smile at me on the street with a big grin, I think I would be well vexed off and awkward. But again, i dont think its necessarily a bad thing to feel that way.
i know but some bros are mashallah so geuninely nice with no wrong intention and its just a beautiful way of embodying the sunnah. so your compelled to smile back and say a proper :jkk: for whatever
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:39 PM
wary of men smiling.... :rolleyes:
im more wary of women smilin.... :torture:
Being a sister maybe I will get away with saying this, but sisters do have MORE of a tendency of smiling at brothers than brothers smiling at sisters. I see sisters doing it all the time in city centre and I'm like :S. Its a different thing if you have a smiley face mashaAllaah or if you're amongst your friends, but I know of cases where sisters just outrightly grin in brothers faces on street.
Theres no need for such things and like sis Anna said, if your gaze is down, then no one would be smiling unnecessarily.
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:41 PM
i know but some bros are mashallah so geuninely nice with no wrong intention and its just a beautiful way of embodying the sunnah. so your compelled to smile back and say a proper :jkk: for whatever
If they help you and theres a reason for you to smile, then say JazaakAllaah khayr and continue on, but I honestly don't see the need in smiling my face off at random people. That's bound to arouse suspicioun.
Like carrying someones food in ramadhaan,people will think you're not fasting even though you were carrying it for someone else.
so u cant do halal good deeds because some people may or may not suspect u is there a daleel for that please?
never mind i dont want to argue with you... all i need to say is go ask an alim because the ahkam are simple... dont be suspicious of people and dont put urself in positions that might make someone suspicious of u... if u want to know further go ask an alim...
akhi please i have no intention of arguing with you i was just saying further i wouldnt do anything haram so therfore wouldnt be in a position of making people suspicious.:( wouldnt be smiling at brother for example. can think of many examples where the sahabba did good deeds that people may have been suspicious of but no one commented on those deeds or suspected them, other than the munafiq allahu alam barakallahu feek for the advice.
Being a sister maybe I will get away with saying this, but sisters do have MORE of a tendency of smiling at brothers than brothers smiling at sisters. I see sisters doing it all the time in city centre and I'm like :S. Its a different thing if you have a smiley face mashaAllaah or if you're amongst your friends, but I know of cases where sisters just outrightly grin in brothers faces on street.
Theres no need for such things and like sis Anna said, if your gaze is down, then no one would be smiling unnecessarily.
i know what you mean, some folk just have smiling faces which emanates noor and twinkling eyes that smile all the time (usally northerners)
sisters do tentd to smile more often which is really pleasant when they smile and your completely unknown to eachtother, beautuful way of acknowledgeing the connection between the two of you :inlove:
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Well unfortunately I dont have a smile-o-meter to know which men are genuine and which arent.
So Ima stick to my procedure, keep silent and dont smile back :rolleyes:
Sisters get a big massive greeting, smile and hug tho. thats standard :inlove:
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:47 PM
i know what you mean, some folk just have smiling faces which emanates noor and twinkling eyes that smile all the time (usally northerners)
sisters do tentd to smile more often which is really pleasant when they smile and your completely unknown to eachtother, beautuful way of acknowledgeing the connection between the two of you :inlove:
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Between sisters its lovely :D:D i love it when a sister passes a smile and salaam on the street, especially if I don't know them. It just makes my heart feel warm and proud to be part of the Ummah :D alhamdulillah.
I would never think suspiciously of my fellow sisters smiling at me on the street, I do it myself though with niqaab you have to squinch your eyes even more to make your eyes look smiley at the sisters.
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:47 PM
Well unfortunately I dont have a smile-o-meter to know which men are genuine and which arent.
So Ima stick to my procedure, keep silent and dont smile back :rolleyes:
Sisters get a big massive greeting, smile and hug tho. thats standard :inlove:
Ditto sis :) I agree with you completely ;)
if a guy offers to do something for u, he usually has other motives :rolleyes:
every deed is a selfish deed
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:49 PM
if a guy offers to do something for u, he usually has other motives :rolleyes:
every deed is a selfish deed
Subhan-Allaah, sis funny you said that, someone else mentioned that to me and though when they said it, I was like :scratch: eh? Obviously when you do a deed, you do it because it pleases Allaah swt and hence it is better for your aakhira inshaAllaah.
Subhan-Allaah, sis funny you said that, someone else mentioned that to me and though when they said it, I was like :scratch: eh? Obviously when you do a deed, you do it because it pleases Allaah swt and hence it is better for your aakhira inshaAllaah.
yeh but u want to please Allah to go to paradise so its still abit selfish :outta:
**Saba**
28-11-06, 06:54 PM
yeh but u want to please Allah to go to paradise so its still abit selfish :outta:
yeh thts wat i meant lol, Don't feel bad for looking at it that way ukhti :)
yeh but u want to please Allah to go to paradise so its still abit selfish :outta:
or u just want to please Allah and be a good muslim? and leave the rest to Allah ta ala because he ta ala knows best where we belong :confused: i dont know anymore after reading this thread, ibn suleman akhi,im wid u why are people so suspicious? :(
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 07:01 PM
so u cant do halal good deeds because some people may or may not suspect u is there a daleel for that please?
akhi please i have no intention of arguing with you i was just saying further i wouldnt do anything haram so therfore wouldnt be in a position of making people suspicious.:( wouldnt be smiling at brother for example. can think of many examples where the sahabba did good deeds that people may have been suspicious of but no one commented on those deeds or suspected them, other than the munafiq allahu alam barakallahu feek for the advice.
i never said abt haram thing... :torture: im talking abt even mubah things... like say ur not fasting cus ur travelling etc... u shld still not eat food publicly... or when the prophet (saw) was with his wife (ra) and he (Saw) saw some sahaba (ra) so he (SaW) said this is my wife to them, and they were like we dont doubt u... and he (saW) did it just to make sure...
or u just want to please Allah and be a good muslim? and leave the rest to Allah ta ala because he ta ala knows best where we belong :confused: i dont know anymore after reading this thread, ibn suleman akhi,im wid u why are people so suspicious? :(
boils down to giving people the benefit of the doubt and making 70 excuses for anything you may think was an inhonourable intention inshallah
*schmiles at everyone* :D
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 07:03 PM
yeh but u want to please Allah to go to paradise so its still abit selfish :outta:
just cus u only smile at rich people with ferraris and platinum credit cards and 6 foot with long hair and a beard and dressed in a jubbah... :outta:
i never said abt haram thing... :torture: im talking abt even mubah things... like say ur not fasting cus ur travelling etc... u shld still not eat food publicly... or when the prophet (saw) was with his wife (ra) and he (Saw) saw some sahaba (ra) so he (SaW) said this is my wife to them, and they were like we dont doubt u... and he (saW) did it just to make sure...
yea obviously like i dont kiss my (blood) brother good bye in town in case someone thinks something weird
:nervous: but put the whip away man why u so harsh wid ur sister:crying2:
just cus u only smile at rich people with ferraris and platinum credit cards and 6 foot with long hair and a beard and dressed in a jubbah... :outta:
yeh, basically everything ur not :rolleyes:
just cus u only smile at rich people with ferraris and platinum credit cards and 6 foot with long hair and a beard and dressed in a jubbah... :outta:
nawt wrong with that :1popcorn:
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 07:25 PM
yeh, basically everything ur not :rolleyes:
thats true apart from the long hair and beard..... aye.... no ferraris no platinum cards and no jubbahs.... no wonder i dont get no smiles :(
thats true apart from the long hair and beard..... aye.... no ferraris no platinum cards and no jubbahs.... no wonder i dont get no smiles :(
its not to do with u not having those things, most sisters just lower thier gaze masha'Allah :)
due to your hideousness
Al-Irhaab
28-11-06, 07:34 PM
its not to do with u not having those things, most sisters just lower thier gaze masha'Allah :)
due to your hideousness
aye ma hideousness at not having a ferrari... or at least a porsche...
gold diggers !!!
ibn suleman
28-11-06, 08:17 PM
oh by the way...i was referring to smiling at brothers...not some random person on the street...or somoene of the opposite gender.
theres so many stories of the sahabah doing things for others...with no ulterior motive except for reward from Allah
and there are instances of when they have done things for women as well..
so just cos society has a problem with it...does that make it wrong???
if a sis smiles at me...i wouldn't be suspiscious...i'd smile back :)
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