amatullah_amina
25-11-06, 09:35 PM
Aslamu Alaikum warehmatullah,
May the message reach u in best of emaan and spirits.
This article, Alhumdulillah, is published in "takbir magazine" of Ryerson MSA and its soo subhanAllah essential becuz it effects us in our day to day life, though i would share it wid u inshaAllah.
Intermingling with the opposite sex: its limits and conditions
Victim of mixing……a true story
I used to wear niqaab (face veil) when I went to work. But later on some sisters mentioned it to me that this dress was itself attracting attention of my presence and because my eyes were attractive too, I decided to take off the niqaab. I, however, continued to mix and intermingle with my colleagues but adopted an anti-social attitude of not taking part in conversations etc. Sooner everybody came to recognize this ‘lone-wolf’ woman while others rejected this type of attitude. I, therefore, decided not to oppress myself of not taking part in their chats so I showed to my colleagues that I can also influence them by talking eloquently and taking parts in their discussions. It was not long enough until I realized that my direct supervisor was showing interest in my talks and movements. It was embarrassing and surprising for me. Later I realized that I began to have thoughts about this man too. Although I did not think about this man beyond the bounds of shariah I do admit that this man remained in my thoughts for some time. But soon my self respect made me reject the idea of being a source of entertainment for this man in any way or form. From this I came to the conclusion:
• Attraction between the opposite sexes can occur at any time no matter how much they reject it or call their relationship as “just friends.”
• The snares of shaytan are ever present and he is always tempting us towards this fitnah.
• Even though a person may not feel anything but because of free intermingling and crossing the bounds laid by shariah, he cannot guarantee the feelings of the opposite sex.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "No man shall be isolated with a woman (with whom he is not related in blood or marriage)" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and At-Tirmidhi). The hadith clearly indicates the impermissibility of staying alone with the opposite sex whether it may be for projects, assigments etc. The reason is because the third one present is shaytan which would tempt both of them to do wrong.
Similarly, talking to members of the opposite sex while not staying within the bounds of shariah is simply inviting yourself to sin and surrendering to your nafs.
So does this mean that intermingling is not allowed at all and women should stay confined to their houses until death reaches them? The answer is no. Islam allows contacts between men and women, infact, it is recommended as long as the noble objective is lawful, to seek beneficial knowledge, obligatory jihad, and many other deeds that require the interaction and co operation between men and women. This, however, does not mean that transgressing all limits and forgetting about the nature of the opposite sex. There are some conditions that need to be abided when contact between the opposite sexes takes place:
• It is must that the gaze should be lowered and no lustful gaze exist. As Allah (SWT) says: [Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.] (An-Nur: 30-31). So whatever lawful deed allows the interaction to take place, the gaze should be lowered and modesty should be practicesd.
• The clothes of muslim woman should cover her whole body save her hands and face. They should be loose, opaque and modest.
• Morality should be practiced. A muslim woman should not be soft in speech but her voice should reveal seriousness. Her walk should be decent enough and when she leaves her house she should not wear perfume as Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who wears perfumes and then passes by a group of men and they smell it, she is an adulteress.”
• No men and women should sit alone without the presence of other males as the third one present is satan to entice them. This also applies to husband’s relatives as Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Beware of sitting with women alone!” They (the Companions) said: “What about the relative of the husband, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “A relative of the husband is death i.e. the cause of death.” This is because a relative of a husband may stay for a long time and thus the danger of sin becomes greater.
• Last but not the least, interaction should take place when there is a need and all these contacts should not be given a “loose rein.”
To conclude, the need to interact with the opposite sex may exist whether it may be because of school work, charitable deeds etc. Islam is not narrow but it allows certain conditions to be met for the interaction to take place. Finally, abiding to these conditions would win the pleasure of Allah (SWT) by obeying His Laws.
All good is frm Allah Alhumdulillah and wrong or errors in it is from me.
walaikum aslam warematullah
May the message reach u in best of emaan and spirits.
This article, Alhumdulillah, is published in "takbir magazine" of Ryerson MSA and its soo subhanAllah essential becuz it effects us in our day to day life, though i would share it wid u inshaAllah.
Intermingling with the opposite sex: its limits and conditions
Victim of mixing……a true story
I used to wear niqaab (face veil) when I went to work. But later on some sisters mentioned it to me that this dress was itself attracting attention of my presence and because my eyes were attractive too, I decided to take off the niqaab. I, however, continued to mix and intermingle with my colleagues but adopted an anti-social attitude of not taking part in conversations etc. Sooner everybody came to recognize this ‘lone-wolf’ woman while others rejected this type of attitude. I, therefore, decided not to oppress myself of not taking part in their chats so I showed to my colleagues that I can also influence them by talking eloquently and taking parts in their discussions. It was not long enough until I realized that my direct supervisor was showing interest in my talks and movements. It was embarrassing and surprising for me. Later I realized that I began to have thoughts about this man too. Although I did not think about this man beyond the bounds of shariah I do admit that this man remained in my thoughts for some time. But soon my self respect made me reject the idea of being a source of entertainment for this man in any way or form. From this I came to the conclusion:
• Attraction between the opposite sexes can occur at any time no matter how much they reject it or call their relationship as “just friends.”
• The snares of shaytan are ever present and he is always tempting us towards this fitnah.
• Even though a person may not feel anything but because of free intermingling and crossing the bounds laid by shariah, he cannot guarantee the feelings of the opposite sex.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "No man shall be isolated with a woman (with whom he is not related in blood or marriage)" (Al-Bukhari, Muslim, and At-Tirmidhi). The hadith clearly indicates the impermissibility of staying alone with the opposite sex whether it may be for projects, assigments etc. The reason is because the third one present is shaytan which would tempt both of them to do wrong.
Similarly, talking to members of the opposite sex while not staying within the bounds of shariah is simply inviting yourself to sin and surrendering to your nafs.
So does this mean that intermingling is not allowed at all and women should stay confined to their houses until death reaches them? The answer is no. Islam allows contacts between men and women, infact, it is recommended as long as the noble objective is lawful, to seek beneficial knowledge, obligatory jihad, and many other deeds that require the interaction and co operation between men and women. This, however, does not mean that transgressing all limits and forgetting about the nature of the opposite sex. There are some conditions that need to be abided when contact between the opposite sexes takes place:
• It is must that the gaze should be lowered and no lustful gaze exist. As Allah (SWT) says: [Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands' fathers, or their sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or sisters' sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.] (An-Nur: 30-31). So whatever lawful deed allows the interaction to take place, the gaze should be lowered and modesty should be practicesd.
• The clothes of muslim woman should cover her whole body save her hands and face. They should be loose, opaque and modest.
• Morality should be practiced. A muslim woman should not be soft in speech but her voice should reveal seriousness. Her walk should be decent enough and when she leaves her house she should not wear perfume as Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Any woman who wears perfumes and then passes by a group of men and they smell it, she is an adulteress.”
• No men and women should sit alone without the presence of other males as the third one present is satan to entice them. This also applies to husband’s relatives as Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Beware of sitting with women alone!” They (the Companions) said: “What about the relative of the husband, O Messenger of Allah?” He said: “A relative of the husband is death i.e. the cause of death.” This is because a relative of a husband may stay for a long time and thus the danger of sin becomes greater.
• Last but not the least, interaction should take place when there is a need and all these contacts should not be given a “loose rein.”
To conclude, the need to interact with the opposite sex may exist whether it may be because of school work, charitable deeds etc. Islam is not narrow but it allows certain conditions to be met for the interaction to take place. Finally, abiding to these conditions would win the pleasure of Allah (SWT) by obeying His Laws.
All good is frm Allah Alhumdulillah and wrong or errors in it is from me.
walaikum aslam warematullah