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amatullah_amina
25-11-06, 05:54 PM
Aslamu Alaikum warehmatullah,

How r u all by the Grace of Allah (SWT)?

here is something i found:

In the Name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful
Marriage is for Lovers?
as-salamu `alaykum wa rahmatullah:
The Prophet (sall Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) said:
“There is nothing for two who love one another like marriage.” Recorded by Ibn Majah.
It was graded sahih by Shaykh al-Albani in as-Sahihah no. 624 as well as others.

Classical Interpretation

In Faidh al-Qadeer (the commentary on Jami` as-Sagheer) al-Munaawi said:

“‘It is when a man looks at an ajnabiyah [unrelated woman] and his heart has desire of intercourse, then marrying her will result in increased love.’ This was mentioned by at-Teebi. And more correct than him is the saying of some of the elders that the meaning is that it is the greatest remedy to treat the passion of desire for marital relations. For it is a remedy which there is no equal for by any means. And this is the meaning which is indicated by Allah, Glorious is He, after making women lawful; the free of them, and the slaves of them due to need, by His saying:

(Allah wants to lighten [the burden] for you, and man was created weak.) (An-Nisa’ 4:28)

So by Allah, Glorious is He, mentioning lightening in this subject and informing about man’s weakness, it proves that he is too weak to carry this desire, and that He, Glorious is He, lightened its matter for him by what He permitted for him of pure women. And with this explanation it clarifies that the information relates to when he intends to propose to a woman, and he sees her and feels love for her, then it is legislated that he may plan to marry her merely based on what he saw.”(end quote)

In Kifayat al-Hajjah, (the commentary on Sunan Ibn Majah) as-Sindi said:

“It is, when there is love between two, then that love will not be increased by anything among the various types of means of drawing nearer, nor will anything make it last, like the marriage tie. So if they are married with that love, then the love will increase and become stronger with every day.” (end quote)

Regarding The Modern Interpretation of Love
It should be clear from the statements of these scholars, that the objective here is to observe that when two people feel an attraction for each other – especially a physical one that instils the desire in their hearts to have relations – then there is nothing that is better for them than to get married.

And, that, as al-Munaawi noted, this desire itself is a sufficient sign that it is time to get married to each other, as opposed to the long drawn out micro-management planning that is common today.

All of this is obvious, because when two people desire to marry each other, and there is no legal reason to prevent them, then they should not delay in doing so unduly, and all of the shari`ah texts indicate exhortation for marriage whenever one is able to do so, and in this, that man is not able to bear the burden of such desire, so marriage has been made lawful to facilitate that, to remove the burden.

And this meaning is explained in one of its versions of the narration recorded by `Abdur-Razzaq, in mursal form, and it is an authentic chain, that Ibrahim bin Maysarah said: “A young man proposed to a woman whom he ‘loved’ but they refused to marry her to him, so I asked Tawus about that, and he said: ‘Allah’s Messenger (sall Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) said…’” and he mentioned it, and afterwards Ibrahim said: “And he ordered me to marry.”

Allah has Lightened the Burden Upon The Sexes
Regarding Allah’s saying (which means):
(Allah wants to lighten [the burden] for you, and man was created weak.) (An-Nisa’ 4:28)
as preceded – since Allah mentioned that He wanted to lighten that burden, if He had not done so, it would be heavy, due to man’s weakness, and he would not be able to bear it, and that would not be just.

So Allah has lightened the burden of desire from people, out of His justice and care for His creatures, making marriage lawful for them, and there being nothing better for two attracted to each other than it. So who is it that would make unlawful what Allah has made lawful? And who is it that would place a burden on one whom Allah has lifted a burden from, except an oppressor?

Getting to “Know” One Another?
Then, one may find that people want to use this hadith to prove that a man and a woman should get to know each other well prior to marriage, for how else could they love each other prior to it?

And it should be clear from the commentary that the meaning of “love” in the hadith, is desire, not the complicated concept of love that modern people intend.

So a man loves bread, and his love of his bread is similar, and at the same time not similar, to his love of his wife. When he is hungry and he sees bread, his desire to consume it increases until he does so. And yet, we call that, “love” of bread.

This is the type of love that is common through out this topic, it is present in the two mentioned in the hadith, and it is present in the man when he sees bread.

But man’s love for bread does not increase after he consumed it, while marriage causes love to grow. So the love that comes from marriage, is not the same as the love (i.e. desire) before it. And this is obvious and common in normal speech.

Conversely, the modern evil concepts of marriage dictate, ‘we must get to know each other well prior to marriage.’ While this has nothing to do with love, but “getting to know.” And knowing something is not the same as loving something. Then, it is no secret what this concept leads to, and even among Muslims.

So the Prophet (sall Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) did not say: “I have not seen anything for two who love each other like fornication.”

Rather, he said: “marriage.” That is, marriage increases love, while fornication will only lead to anguish, in this life and in the Hereafter.


All good in thir article is Alhumdulillah from Allah (SWT) and any mistake or wrongs in it are from myself
walaikum alsam warehmatullah.

neels
25-11-06, 08:29 PM
So a man loves bread, and his love of his bread is similar, and at the same time not similar, to his love of his wife. When he is hungry and he sees bread, his desire to consume it increases until he does so. And yet, we call that, “love” of bread.

:rotfl:

Mr_Jailer
25-11-06, 08:36 PM
Its true, there's 2 thin's a man loves, one is food, n the other is his wife.

`asiya
25-11-06, 08:42 PM
Its true, there's 2 thin's a man loves, one is food, n the other is his wife.

i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

ur_yusra
25-11-06, 08:44 PM
i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

Thats because they're all spoilt brats.

Ibn-e-Muslim
25-11-06, 08:49 PM
Thats because they're all spoilt brats.

can we brothers take offence to that statement?
coz many sisters here happen to take offence if sum brother indirectly critcised them but ur reply is directly insulting all of us No? :scratch:

ur_yusra
25-11-06, 08:50 PM
can we brothers take offence to that statement?
coz many sisters here happen to take offence if sum brother indirectly critcised them but ur reply is directly insulting all of us No? :scratch:

You can take offence if you want to.

Ibn-e-Muslim
25-11-06, 09:01 PM
a Brother in Islam has been seriously offended by her Sister in Islam by her statement:(

:jkk: for the topic amina sister may Allah reward u for that

Al-Irhaab
25-11-06, 09:02 PM
can we brothers take offence to that statement?
coz many sisters here happen to take offence if sum brother indirectly critcised them but ur reply is directly insulting all of us No? :scratch:


when ignorant people speak u just ignore them...

the prophet (SaW) said i loved 3 things in the dunya but i only got two and not the other... and the sahaba (ra) asked what did u love he said i loved women attar and food and i got women and attar but never food....

food is one of the most important things in life.. nice food is a neccessity as much as a woman to cook it :D

ur_yusra
25-11-06, 09:03 PM
a Brother in Islam has been seriously offended by her Sister in Islam by her statement:(

:jkk: for the topic amina sister may Allah reward u for that

Sorry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

Don't mind me I'm just evil.

ur_yusra
25-11-06, 09:04 PM
when ignorant people speak u just ignore them...

the prophet (SaW) said i loved 3 things in the dunya but i only got two and not the other... and the sahaba (ra) asked what did u love he said i loved women attar and food and i got women and attar but never food....

food is one of the most important things in life.. nice food is a neccessity as much as a woman to cook it :D

You've given me the perfect reason to ignore all your posts - thnks

Ibn-e-Muslim
25-11-06, 09:07 PM
:jkk: sister its all good

no please no please no not again, dont hijack the thread please :embar:

Ibn-e-Muslim
25-11-06, 09:30 PM
acording to ahadith n ayat posted in this thread
if sum1 has s3csual desires for sum1, he shud make it lawfull by geting marry to her

what if a person never had such desires for sum1 but marriage only? what r the proper words to explaining such behaviour?

like my mother asked me to marry sum1, i never saw that person b4, she tells me about her good qualities, and i say Yes to her (if i say yes to her on what basis im saying YES, while i never saw in person nor see her pic so no secsual desires ever took place for such person

what r those feelings/conditions which r leting me to agree on accepting her as life partner?

or if sum1 say No to a perticular person to get marry, doesnt that mean he/she failed to build up desires to make him/her say no
:scratch:

i tried to explain, hope u brothers/sisters get it where im confused n need help

Eemaan
25-11-06, 09:43 PM
i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

aye i agree. folk on ere obsessed!

Fais
25-11-06, 09:48 PM
when ignorant people speak u just ignore them...

the prophet (SaW) said i loved 3 things in the dunya but i only got two and not the other... and the sahaba (ra) asked what did u love he said i loved women attar and food and i got women and attar but never food....

food is one of the most important things in life.. nice food is a neccessity as much as a woman to cook it :D

Hanafi's and food again? ...

i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

Its only Al Irhaab .. not me :D

ibn suleman
25-11-06, 10:02 PM
i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

that food and marriage thread was outlining the fact that most of the threads on ummah are abt food or marriage....
somehow it got turned into a a food and marriage thread :smack:

`asiya
25-11-06, 10:30 PM
that food and marriage thread was outlining the fact that most of the threads on ummah are abt food or marriage....
somehow it got turned into a a food and marriage thread :smack:

masha Allah the ummah loves marriage and food it seems :D

ibn suleman
25-11-06, 10:35 PM
masha Allah the ummah loves marriage and food it seems :D

wud seem so :D :D

well they're both halal - so its all good :D

Kal-El
25-11-06, 11:17 PM
I love samosa's and egg's - I can live off them, seriously :D

Zahyrah
26-11-06, 12:28 AM
i never in my whole life came across men who are so obsessed with food as some of the ones on ummah forum... we even have threads about food and marriage

:0: like the two go hand in hand...

mashallah yes men love women and good food, we women love men and shiney things huh!

`asiya
26-11-06, 12:33 AM
mashallah yes men love women and good food, we women love men and shiney things huh!

lol not me i love babies and kittens :inlove:

amatullah_amina
26-11-06, 12:34 AM
aslamu alaikum warehmatullah,

brother ibn-e-muslim i m not sure abt wot word to give that kind of feeling...all i can actually say is that a man came to rasoolAllah (SAW) n told him hez getting married so prophet of Allah (saw) said if he has seen the woman. He said no therefore rasoolAllah (saw) told him to go n see her as it would built love (or increase) his love for her.

so i guess if u knoe for sure u r gettin marrried to her u should see her to built luv....and Allah knows best

jazakAllahu khairun
walakumasalam warehmatullah

Ibn-e-Muslim
26-11-06, 12:41 AM
:jkk: sister confusion cleared a bit

so such emotions r jaiz if kept within the boundries of Islam (ofcoure to 1 u geting marry to)

inshaAllah ill follow the sunah when ever Allah gets me 1

amatullah_amina
26-11-06, 01:00 AM
i just found something on sunnipath.com...may Allah make it asource to help u inshaAllah as i learned sth new frm it too Alhumdulillah:

"it is perfectly natural to have feelings towards a member of the opposite sex, particularly if one is interested in marrying that person.

However, it is what we do with these feelings that really counts.

1. You did not indicate that you were engaged to the sister. Since I don't how far along you are in your marriage plans, it is definitely advisable to try to limit the extent to which you are thinking about the sister. It's not that you can't pray for her and wish her well. But you do want to try to limit romantic thoughts until it becomes halal to act upon them, that is, when you have married her.

"Men who celebrate the praises of Allah, standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and contemplate the (wonders of) creation in the heavens and the earth, (With the thought): "Our Lord! not for naught Hast Thou created (all) this! Glory to Thee! Give us salvation from the penalty of the Fire."

(Aal Imran, 3:191)

Along with frequent remembrance of Allah, salawat upon the Messenger, Allah bless him and give him peace, and voluntary acts of prayer and fasting, it is important to have someone who can encourage you along your path. Why not find a teacher who can help you learn this discipline?

Last but not least, if the time has come in your life where you need companionship, then ask Allah Most High to give you the means to get married. Take practical steps in this regard. "


wayyikum,
walaikum aslam warehmatullah

Ibn-e-Muslim
26-11-06, 01:05 AM
shukran sister may Allah reward u for sharing this valuable info of shariah

:jkk:

Zahyrah
26-11-06, 11:27 AM
I love samosa's and egg's - I can live off them, seriously :D

a recipe for GAS if I ever heard a one lol!!!

.: Anna :.
26-11-06, 11:31 AM
please can people cut down on the useless bickering insha allah, i think the culprits can tell who they are and no need to name.

jazakallah khayr for the thread sister i think this is useful 2 clarify the issue from the other thread

Umm Haya
08-05-08, 12:22 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

Sorry I wannid to bump this, the first post is amazing, :jkk:

WassalamuAlaykum

FadlUH
11-05-08, 11:30 PM
:salams

Amazing article :jkk:

LastFriday
12-05-08, 12:06 AM
Yes

PiElle2
12-05-08, 09:18 AM
I think the first post is quite misleading to make people think it's ok to marry just for intercourse... what about the responsilities that come with it...? Is that why there are so many marital problems nowadays...? Anyone care to elaborate...? Or is it going to be a kill joy...?

Supernova Nebula
12-05-08, 02:13 PM
I think the first post is quite misleading to make people think it's ok to marry just for intercourse... what about the responsilities that come with it...? Is that why there are so many marital problems nowadays...? Anyone care to elaborate...? Or is it going to be a kill joy...?

Sorry to sound harsh, but if you think marriage is only about sex, u might as well marry a prostitute, have sex as much as u like without any emotional feelings and other responsiblities attach to it.