'..wear it properly or..

[ur_yusra]

.. you're not going out' :smack:

I find myself saying that to my sis all too often now after she found herself a new stupid way of wearing the hijab - gypsy style.. open from the front, just about covers the hair.. :smack:

Its peer pressure I think.. well I got no idea she never used to be like this.. I talk to her about Islam etc but shes become really stubborn..

Any tips?

[Al-Mujaddidah]

Try and not come across acting like a big sis...ie xyz or else..:mujahida: - cause she'll just be like 'whatever :rolleyes:'

try and make her understand in a loving way..give her some books..make her listen to some lectures and discuss it with her...

Give her Naseeha in a jokey way..

If after all that she's still the same - give her a few slaps :p

[Al Qadr]

Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their khumūr over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards God, that ye may attain Bliss. {24:30-31}

[Al Qadr]

"O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons...that they should be known and not molested." [Chapter 33, verse 59]


"...If the woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen but this --- and he pointed to his face and hands." [Sunan of Abu-Dawood, Hadith 1902]

[Hafsah]

Try and not come across acting like a big sis...ie xyz or else..:mujahida: - cause she'll just be like 'whatever :rolleyes:'

try and make her understand in a loving way..give her some books..make her listen to some lectures and discuss it with her...

Give her Naseeha in a jokey way..

If after all that she's still the same - give her a few slaps :p

true...maybe in a different way without sounding 'big sister lecture' you could show her its wrong

[ur_yusra]

Try and not come across acting like a big sis...ie xyz or else..:mujahida: - cause she'll just be like 'whatever :rolleyes:'

try and make her understand in a loving way..give her some books..make her listen to some lectures and discuss it with her...

Give her Naseeha in a jokey way..

If after all that she's still the same - give her a few slaps :p

I think I often come across as big sister'ish and she does respond with a 'whatever' type attitude lol..

Yeh books is a good idea. I'l see if I can get hold of some..

Shes thirteen by the way.

[Al Qadr]

Oh yea, don't jewish women wear it gypsy style :S
I've seen em on the bus near Brent X-Highbury.

[Al-Irhaab]

Oh yea, don't jewish women wear it gypsy style :S
I've seen em on the bus near Brent X-Highbury.

doesnt that mean their neck will be uncovered? so not much point in really wearing the hijab then is it??

[ur_yusra]

Oh yea, don't jewish women wear it gypsy style :S
I've seen em on the bus near Brent X-Highbury.

hmmmm yeh probs??


doesnt that mean their neck will be uncovered? so not much point in really wearing the hijab then is it??


Well duh :rolleyes:

[Al Qadr]

hmmmm yeh probs??


We shouldnt copy Jews. That might put her off?

[Al Qadr]

doesnt that mean their neck will be uncovered? so not much point in really wearing the hijab then is it??

Who cares they Jews :nuts:, but muslims shld have their front covered aswell, not gypsyy style, plus it is imitating the jewish women :S

[Fais]

left hook always used to work on me, now i try it with my 15 month old nephew it works :D

[ur_yusra]

left hook always used to work on me, now i try it with my 15 month old nephew it works :D

:rolleyes:

[Al-Mujaddidah]

left hook always used to work on me, now i try it with my 15 months yrear old nephew it works :D

:rotfl:

left hook, right hook, uppercut :rolleyes:

interesting combination^

[Al-Irhaab]

at thirteen i would stop her from going out, and be harsh with her and beat her if neccessary... or just not speak to her and say i dont want to speak to someone who wants to act like people who are going to hell.. tell her about the punishments of hell aswell..

[ur_yusra]

Its just so annoying..

I'm not speaking to her now.

[Eemaan]

sis Yusra at that age i remember being even more defiant when my older sisters preeched to me. the hijab would come off and on and sometimes not even come back on at all for a while. i learned through being left to it even when i knew what the sin was and through having good friends who i did want to listen to.

theres only so much you can do. shes probably asscoiates not wanting to wear the hijab now to annoy you as your her older sis. and now that your angry with eachother, she feels justified in not listening to you.

I was always more recptive when my dad taught and instructed me on things with love patience and kindness.

it finally stayed on at 19 alhamdollillah. :)

[.: Anna :.]

okay yusra can u like bribe her in a nice way.. erm well my idea was like if u buy her some of these undercap thingys:
http://www.thehijabshop.com/showcase.php?sec=bonnet
for example like the diamond ones or something, which look quite nice imo, then she might wna wear that since u got it for her, then if she puts her scarf over that it will b alot more covered.
how is her gypsy style like? u mean she just tries to wrap the scarf loosely and not using ne pins?? mayb u have 2 buy her some hijab pins aswell :p like coloured ones are whichever one she will prefer.
so rather than saying "u better wear it properly or else :mad: ur way is so rubbish" u give a big hint, in a nice way. then if she ever does wear it properly with her new equipment then u gta go a bit extra wit the compliments on how it looks sooo nice the way she pinned it n all.
insha allah i hope u get thru 2 her a bit neway :)

[Qualitex]

newayz....

Why would u slap your sis for smtn liek that..why would you even consider SCREAMING at her..she's THIRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN you have to realize that....

TALK TO HER....don't scream at her face..i'm thirteen if someone screams smtn at me or hits me and tries to make me do it by force...i';d become MORE rebellious against it


La IKRAH FI AL DIN-Surah Al Baqara

NO COMPULSION IN RELIGION

[Abu Hurairah]

.. you're not going out' :smack:

I find myself saying that to my sis all too often now after she found herself a new stupid way of wearing the hijab - gypsy style.. open from the front, just about covers the hair.. :smack:

Its peer pressure I think.. well I got no idea she never used to be like this.. I talk to her about Islam etc but shes become really stubborn..

Any tips?
Ukthy rather than being or appearing to be a lecturer or some raging nutter be calm and have some good old sisterly talks with her not necessarily directly about the subject at hand but rather about anything, her friends, studies, whatever so you become more of gentle nice big sis she can look upto and who listens to her and seems genuinly interested on how she's doing and quite kewl too alhamdulillah.

With this will come respect and trust when you could explain what the whole purpose and blessing of hijaabs are, not some cultural/ style/ etc. thing but why its needed and Allah (swt) has ordered our sisters to wear it- how it preserves them, and why it is you don't want her to abuse and wear it in the manner as it simply defeats the point otherwise, plus how you just don't wanna end up seeing her little sis messed up.

May Allah (swt) guide her and the shabbab of today to the path of our Propet (saw) and for our sisters to be more like the Sahabiath (ra)- Ameen.
Try and not come across acting like a big sis...ie xyz or else..:mujahida: - cause she'll just be like 'whatever :rolleyes:'

try and make her understand in a loving way..give her some books..make her listen to some lectures and discuss it with her...

Give her Naseeha in a jokey way..
I completely agree- be firm and stern but in a loving type of way that makes her understand, rather than pushes her further away. I know this can be hard but is the best method. :)

Allahu Alam.

[Al-Irhaab]

sis Yusra at that age i remember being even more defiant when my older sisters preeched to me. the hijab would come off and on and sometimes not even come back on at all for a while. i learned through being left to it even when i knew what the sin was and through having good friends who i did want to listen to.

theres only so much you can do. shes probably asscoiates not wanting to wear the hijab now to annoy you as your her older sis. and now that your angry with eachother, she feels justified in not listening to you.

I was always more recptive when my dad taught and instructed me on things with love patience and kindness.

it finally stayed on at 19 alhamdollillah. :)

you cant leave her to it :rubeyes:

especially if shes baligh then shes committing sin, if shes not then shes still at that age where she needs to be doing her duties and not doing sin...

use the carrot and stick approach always works.. if she wears it properly let her go out buy her things etc ... and talk to her about heavan and islam...

if she doesnt wear it dont let her go out shout at her ban her from everything she likes and talk to her about hell

[Nusayba]

Bismilah
Asalamalaikum Dear Yusra

Be a good example. Treat her well, make her your friend. Never be hard on her, InshaAllah she'll come around.

The Prophet (saw) guided many people not by talking but by his behaviour. It is also wise to tell her the "why's" and the "benefits".

If she's really young like 13 or 14, InshaAllah she'll follow if you treat her well.

When we admire someone and we respect them, it usually doesn't take much for us to follow.

Also, avoid "cutting contact" like not speaking to her etc, thats the worst you can do. You are giving her dawah for Allahs sake. InshaAllah Allah will bless your efforts

So be nice to her, be gentle, take care of her. May Allah guide us all ameen:)

[Al-Mujaddidah]

Also, avoid "cutting contact" like not speaking to her etc, thats the worst you can do. You are giving her dawah for Allahs sake. InshaAllah Allah will bless your efforts


Exactly.

That'll just alienate her and make her dislike you..

[ur_yusra]

She's spying on this thread.

:rolleyes:

[Eemaan]

you cant leave her to it :rubeyes:

especially if shes baligh then shes committing sin, if shes not then shes still at that age where she needs to be doing her duties and not doing sin...

use the carrot and stick approach always works.. if she wears it properly let her go out buy her things etc ... and talk to her about heavan and islam...

if she doesnt wear it dont let her go out shout at her ban her from everything she likes and talk to her about hell

I didnt advise her to leave her to it...apologies if my post was misconstrued...my fault

I advised patience and kindness in asking her sister to wear it properly ...this way she is less likely to fall off the bandwagon

[MMS]

you cant leave her to it :rubeyes:

especially if shes baligh then shes committing sin, if shes not then shes still at that age where she needs to be doing her duties and not doing sin...

use the carrot and stick approach always works.. if she wears it properly let her go out buy her things etc ... and talk to her about heavan and islam...

if she doesnt wear it dont let her go out shout at her ban her from everything she likes and talk to her about hell

u obviously know nothing about kids :torture:

if you take an approach like that with a child they will probably wear it till they get out the house and take it off once they out of sight :rolleyes: oh and they'll hate u forever and do the oppsite of whatever u tell them

its better to try and make her realise the importance of wearing it properly